tags for reference.
it began as a noble pursuit. praimfaya, relieved of her children for a few hours by the ever helpful @Mahler, sets out to patrol the borders but when the scent of mountain lion where it lays thick and heavy too close to the borders of rivenwood making her hair stand on end draws her to pursuit.
the morning sun cuts through the cuesta as praimfaya stalks the feline, careless where it dines upon a deer carcass. without much forethought, praimfaya attacks; relishing in the pain of the cat's teeth as it splices flesh. she is filled with a terrible hunger for war and the awful realization that she is and always would be horribly selfish.
and when the feline backs off, as wounded as praimfaya herself ...praimfaya remains, wounds bleeding and painful as the adrenaline fades out of her bloodstream.
panting from exertion, she casts frostbound gaze 'round and takes a limping step, a second; a third and she is running ( awkward with her wounds ) but not towards rivenwood.
it is the stone cold truth that to be commander is to be alone drives her, the fear of loving her children too much and knowing that if history repeats itself she will lose them too. easier to cut them from her heart now, she tells herself. she already knew she was a terrible mother — not cut from the cloth to nurture.
guilt almost causes her steps to falter as she thinks of mahler and rivenwood then; how she was ( once more ) betraying them. how she could not ever go back. that her children might die because of her abandonment. no, they were strong and rivenwood was a good bunch. if she could hope for one thing it was that the innocent did not suffer for the sins of their mother who's ways could not truly be changed.
it is with this ice in her heart and steel resolve that praimfaya keeps going, leaving the wilds behind and seeking the sanctuary of one of her coalition packs; to heal and to embrace what she has always known:
to be commander is to be alone.
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