Hoshor Plains We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars

Tagged for reference (though feel free to join)

It was a cool, quiet night. In a way, it matched the Flatlands as the flurry of activity from the hunts began to wane. A soft breeze caressed Sumac’s ebony coat, causing waves of russet and golden highlights to flicker across his silhouette like fields of wheat in the moonlight. 

He ambled on hushed paws through the grasses, nose and tail down. Was he searching for something? Even he didn’t know. @Easy had left to take care of some unknown business, and he hadn’t seen @Minnow in some time. No, he was alone right now, and the ghosts refused to be ignored.

The smell of burning wood, the acrid smoke making his eyes water… Hawthorn’s scream of terror, Ma’s prayers…

The dead were alive again in his mind, dying all over again.

Shaking his head vigorously, the lanky Mackenzie quickened his pace, blindly ascending a small hill as his leaden heart made each step ever more laborious. With a sigh, he lowered himself into a seated position upon the hill’s crest, his amber gaze lifting to the sky.

Funny, when he took in the whole tapestry of the night sky, he could almost see their faces in the patterns the stars wove. Da’s stern gaze; Ma’s reassuring smile; his sister, Hawthorn’s laughing maw; little brother Yarrow’s sheepish grin… and all the others. They were right there. Still here, and yet gone forever. ‘Mac continued to stare at the twinkling lights, his mind still trying to process all that had happened this past summer.

She traveled well into the night, and was much relieved when she found Sumac's scent. The blackbear picked up the pace, seeking out her friend with gladness already welling in her chest.

What she came across was not unlike the scene where they'd first met. He was a dark blip at the crest of a hill, his face turned skyward. Some of her buoyancy was lost as she took in the slump of his shoulders. She was still pleased to see him, but a sense of melancholy invaded her heart as she climbed the hillside to pad up beside him.

"What are they saying?" she asked him, her voice quiet. "The stars," she clarified. There was a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, but it was half-buried beneath tenderness and concern.

‘Mac’s form shuddered a bit as he startled, his ears erect and eyes wide as they fell upon the most welcome form of Easy. He relaxed. It was true - they’d met under similar circumstances at a different time, upon the crest of a hill: two dark silhouettes against an open sky.

A wistful smile crossed the Mackenzie’s maw as his solemn amber gaze returned to the galactic tapestry above them.

“Ma’s singing that lullaby she always did to the little ones… Sycamore, my younger sister, is laughing at our younger brother, Yarrow, because he got himself into trouble again…” he mused, an almost dreamy expression crossing his face.

A gentle breeze blew it away, abject sorrow now tracing deep valleys on the landscape of his face. He pointed his maw down, and when he spoke again, his voice was much deeper, laden with agony.

“Do you know what Da said to me, Easy, when I found them all on the wrong side of the fire?” He paused to bring his eyes back up, finding her own, “He said, ‘Sumac! You gotta get outta here; you gotta live, son! If you live, we’ll live on, too.’ I wanted…” he trailed off to clear his throat as his voice cracked, “I wanted to throw myself into those flames. I wanted to do everything I could to save them… or die, too. But something made me run the other way when he said that.”

Then, he went silent, his eyes cast downward once more.

The blackbear was rarely without a laugh in her chest or a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, but she looked at Sumac now with heartbroken tenderness. He had lost so much, and at a time where his life was just reaching fullness. She knew what loss felt like, and what loneliness could do to a wolf's injured spirit. His family's absence left holes that could not be filled with distractions and kind words. But she thought that, perhaps, kind words could be a funnel and a sieve.


"Your family laughs and sings and loves among the stars," she said softly, reaching out to pull Sumac into a motherly embrace. "You longed to be there with them. There is no shame in this. But they will be waiting there for you until your time comes. For now, you are here. And here, you will laugh and sing and love again. I promise you this, Sumac."

She pulled back to look him in the eye, resting a heavy paw on his shoulder.

"The ones we love never truly leave us," she told him. "They are with you. Let them guide your heart. Because your love is endless, and there is always more to give and more to be given. Even when you feel most alone — someone is on their way. There is another soul that would rejoice with yours, just as your family's. Just as mine."

Sumac allowed himself to be pulled into Easy’s warm embrace, taking comfort in her familiar scent and the warmth of her ebony pelt. For a moment, he felt as though he was back in the den, contentedly curled up for the night among the large pile of loving, slumbering forms of his pack. How he missed those nights.

There was certainty in Easy’s voice as she spoke, something that said all too clearly she’d had experience in this matter. He wanted to ask, but didn’t dare press and risk making her sad, too. If she wanted to share her past, he’d let her do it on her own terms. Lifting his head to meet her gaze with his large sunshine eyes, he managed a wavering smile.

‘Mac placed a paw on the white spot that covered the exact place where his heart thrummed beneath, “You’re right. I carry them here. I can feel them sometimes, especially when it’s really quiet. They’re running and laughing in my veins, and they can see with my eyes. Yeah…”

He trailed off for a moment, his attention returning to the glittering starscape that shone down upon the pair. Would he have another family someday? He wasn’t sure. The thought of joining another pack was scary, and besides, he was just having so much fun journeying with Easy. But there was another option - starting his own fami- NOPE!! He’d never considered it, and for some reason his mind firmly shut the door on that idea right now. Now THAT was a truly scary prospect! For now, Easy was his family.

Finally, he spoke again.

“I really missed you Easy. I admit I was worried if you were safe,” he said with a little chuckle, absent-mindedly rubbing the back of his head with a large black paw.

The tenderness she felt for Sumac had taken her by surprise. She'd been alone on that mountain aside from her blood family and Aditya, for the most part, but she had never wanted for love. They'd had all that they needed together. So it was strange to feel now as though something had been missing from her life — and it was strange how oddly painful she found the idea of never meeting Sumac. Strange, but the best kind.

She was glad if her words brought some comfort, and gladder still when he seemed to rally, even though she was sure his hurts must still be present.

"I'm sorry I worried you" she replied, feeling just a little guilty over how long she'd been gone. "I was waylaid speaking with a few young women. And I left in the first place because, well — " She flashed a tired smile. "My season came early this year. I did not think it would come at all, to be truthful. But spring called me and I answered — we will have to wait and see what comes of that."

She stretched and laid down on her belly to look up at the stars. She had learned from her elder sister, Dawn, how to use them for navigation, but they had never been of much cultural significance to her. She wondered if it was different for Sumac, if he heard his family when he looked up at their light.

"Will you sing me the lullaby?" she asked him. "The one your mother sings."

Sumac blinked his golden eyes, before plastering a rather large grin on his face. Easy was… well, he supposed she was something between a surrogate mother, auntie, older sister… maybe “mentor” was the appropriate word? He cared deeply for her. He suddenly felt very lucky - so lucky to have found her, and so soon after his trauma had left him wandering without a purpose. She had to be right, and someone or something unseen had to be looking out for him.

“Don’t worry about it - as long as you’re safe, that’s all the matters.”

He tilted his head loosely and listened with ease as she relayed her business. Truly, she could have opted to keep it private and he would not have pressed, but he felt the distinct warmth of privilege wrap around his heart like one might feel when their best friend entrusts them with a dearly-held secret. His eyes widened and his lower jaw dropped a bit as the black bear revealed her good fortune.

“That’s AMAZING, Easy! I’m so happy for you!” ‘Mac burst out, his tail wagging behind him. He recalled helping to raise his younger siblings - Sumac loved kids. They were so… pure, untouched by ideas, concepts, experiences, and other things that keep adults from really being alive. Really, ‘Mac was little more than a big puppy himself at his core. 

Odd, but now for a barest moment, he felt that he had indeed found a family. Regardless of whether the male involved turned up or not, ‘Mac would likely remain Easy’s companion as long as she allowed him to, and he was quite an attentive guardian.

‘Mac lowered himself onto his elbows in a reclining position, mimicking Easy’s posture. He gave a soft chuckle, allowing his focus to return to the shimmering sky.

“For you? You bet!” He began to sing softly in a surprisingly deep, resonate baritone:

Mother Moon, shine down
Let your light stream clear.
Mother Moon, listen now
For our many voices you’ll hear!

He could see their faces now, all of them, and could hear Ma’s notes intertwined with his own.

Sisters Stars, sparkle above
Light our way tonight.
Sisters Stars, give the children
Dreams gentle and light.

The blackbear laughed as Sumac congratulated her, charmed by his enthusiasm. She was glad that he was happy, but still: "We'll have to see if it takes!" she laughed, but his excitement was catching. Either way, she would carry herself now with the assumption that she was nurturing new life.

They settled down beneath the stars. Her boys were on her mind — Dutch and Valiant were both somewhere nearby, and she still felt a powerful need to lay eyes on them before moving on once more. For the moment, however, she was content to lie down and enjoy a cold winter night. She listened to Sumac's lullaby and thought she might even be able to drift off to such a thing, but instead she hung on to wakefulness so as to memorize every word.

"It's pretty," she said when it was done, earnest in her assessment. "You have a lovely voice."

Easy wasn't a talented singer herself, although she still loved to belt out a song every now and then. She was glad that her children had inherited their father's voice rather than her own. What would these ones be like?

"Did you spend any more time with Minnow while I was gone?" she asked, her tone nonchalant.

Sumac smiled, chuckling amiably. “I’m sure it will. I have faith!” He said lightheartedly, his naturally optimistic nature overtaking his former gloom.

“Ah… gee, thanks,” he replied to her praise, embarrassment tinging his voice. Surely, if he had the ability to blush, he would! “I always like singing, and I would sing my little brothers and sisters to sleep at night. It helped me sleep, too.”

He felt a pang of… something… confusion? At Easy’s question. It seemed Minnow had become a complicated subject for him. A whirlwind of emotions swam through his head, ones he could both name and that were unknown to him.

“Nah… I haven’t seen her in a bit. I hope she’s okay. And I hope I didn’t upset her somehow,” He said, staring off into the horizon, “I’m hoping we can be good friends some day.”

She didn't know how he could be so sure, but still, the blackbear found it easy to accept his words.

"I like singing, too," she said with a wag of her tail. "I don't have the natural talent for it, but songs are important to my family. We have a song for everything you could think of."

She was sure this year's litter would appreciate having Sumac's voice around to eclipse her own from time to time. In the past, the family had relied heavily on Aditya and Valiant for such things. She wondered, wistfully, what her lover was doing with himself right now. Would he go back to the spine and find her missing? Or would he think to stop by Round Valley, first?

Easy hadn't been one for romances of her own since she was a young girl, but Aditya was still important to her. He was family, imperfect as he was. And he'd given her five beautiful children, and despite being absent much of the time, she could see all the things she loved about him in their sons and daughters. From her, they'd only gotten rebelliousness and difficult "Type A" personalities. And she was proud of that! But she still believes his blood and his love, however distant, had been a tempering influence on their lives.

What would these ones be like? Would they seem more like strangers to her, since she might see the stranger's blood rather than Aditya's? Easy couldn't imagine it happening like that.

"I'm sure you didn't," Easy said with a soft breath. "I don't know her whole story. She was born to my brother, Sunny, and his wife, Aliac. Her and Valiant, and one other. Aeryn. But a bear attacked and killed Aliac when they were still very small, and then Sunny..." Easy shook her head. "He got sick. He forgot things. He acted strangely. And then he died — and before even that, Minnow had gone missing. Kidnapped, we believe. The family was never the same — over and over and over again, they were never the same. Valiant suffers much for it, still. I can only imagine how hard things might be for Minnow."

She turned a sad smile on Sumac.

"But I think she would be lucky to have a friend like you," she assured him, "Even if she might be difficult to befriend."

"Oh, everything?" 'Mac asked, rolling onto his back casually and stretching out. Suddenly, a mischievous look swept over his face as his eyes narrowed, his black lips tugging upward in a conspiratorial grin, "What's the weirdest thing you know a song for?"

His mind briefly flirted with the topic that seemed to come up often lately, likely due to the impending spring: family. He absently rubbed a paw against his chest. The families he encountered here were so diverse, and most were large. Sumac wondered if he had any extended family out there that he wasn't aware of.

And the future... What kind of future did he want for himself? Gosh... I don't know. Maybe someday, after he was done wandering, he'd become a scout again for another pack, or a puppysitter, or maybe he'd...

Maybe I'd what, 'Mac? Start one myself? His eyes briefly bulged. Why did that seem such a strange idea? 'Mac couldn't imagine himself having children of his own. Why, the first time one scraped a paw, he'd be beside himself! And the constant worry would just kill him. How did parents do it?

He shook his head to clear the thought. Let the future worry about itself. He turned his mind back to Minnow.

'Mac listened intently, his brow creasing with worry as he listened to Easy's explanation of the girl's past. A pang of empathy stabbed through his heart. Suddenly, Sumac felt selfish. Yes, he'd lost his family in a terrible, dramatic fashion, but things were looking upward. Hearing of Minnow's past... well, how could he possibly stomach continuing to mope around dramatically, oh-woe-is-me, as if his suffering was somehow unique?

"That's... terrible! She's so strong for surviving all of that..." he said quietly, casting his gaze back at the stars, "I guess we all have our monsters at our tails."

He rolled onto his side and gazed at Easy, "Really? You think so? Maybe I can help her with her monsters, and she can help me with mine. I can keep her safe!" Really, 'Mac, you can't keep everyone in the world safe!

Easy laughed at the tone he took, surprised and delighted to see a spark of playfulness in the man. If she'd been a younger woman... But no, even then, Easy wouldn't have been good for him. She was only glad she knew him now, and a little sorry it'd taken her this long to find him when his family had been lost long before.

"I'll have to think about it," she admitted, shuffling through her mental library. The locust songs — beginning, middle, and end! — came to mind, but she was sure she could think of something weirder.

The blackbear nodded gravelywhen conversation turned to Minnow. If she'd known how Sumac castigated himself, she would have had much more to say. As it was, she murmured, "These things happen. Our family went through a long bought of bad luck around that time. I was just a girl, and Valiant ended up with me and Minnow... didn't. I don't know how it happened. I nearly didn't recognize her."

Her guilt was imense, even as she tried to pardon this crime.

Sumac's declaration put an odd little stitch in her throat. She blinked back this emotion, looking over at him for a moment and seeing someone else.

"That's sweet of you," she said, and when her voice came out strange, she had to swallow before going on: "I think you could both do each other a lot of good. I think you can. And I think you should try, if you're willing. But I can't promise it'll work out that way. And I think it says something wonderful about you that you want to protect her — but Mac — "

She faltered. She didn't know how to put this into words.

"You know it wasn't your fault, right?" she asked him. "You couldn't have saved them. You couldn't have done anything different, and your family — it must have brought your father so much comfort to know you weren't there with him."

She placed her paw over his, over his heart.

"The people we love are going to get hurt," she said, her voice very soft. "We protect each other when we can, but honey, that's not what we need from each other. We're here to cherish each other's hearts. To nurture our spirit together. Of course you'll protect her, and you'll protect me, and I'll protect you. But your worth to her, and to me, is something far more important."

Sumac blinked slowly as an unnamed emotion swept through him. For Minnow to have endured something so intense, so traumatic, that even Easy didn't recognize her upon her return said volumes. Mixed feelings swirled in his head - a part of him was grateful that he'd found his feet again so soon after his own tragedy, but another part of him was devastated for the sweet, lovely girl he'd come to admire.

Still on his back, his amber gaze snapped to Easy's own as her voice adopted a grave tone.

You know if wasn't your fault, right?

It wasn't your fault.

It wasn't your fault.

The words hit him like derecho and squeezed at his heart. He swallowed painfully, his eyes darting back to the starlight above.

"Thanks, Easy," he finally said in low, deep tones laden with so much emotion, "I think somehow, deep down, I know that, but part of me finds it easier and more comfortable to beat myself up over it... As if doing that will help me keep it from happening again, from having to feel that pain about losing someone else."

He stayed stock-still at Easy's words, allowing her wisdom to cascade over him like a gentle rain. All he could do was nod as his voice fled from him, his throat tight. After a few silent moments of watching a series of glittering shooting stars streak across the silken black of the sky, 'Mac's voice finally returned.

"You're right, Easy. I can just be the best I can for those I love... I can't control outcomes. All I can do is act with love in each moment."

Once again, he was overcome with intense gratitude at having found her. Easy had so quickly become his new family, he realized. Perhaps he was meant to find her. A soft smile played at his lips as he rolled back upright, pausing a moment to savor a gentle breeze that rose up from the plains.

"Easy?" he said gently, "Thank you. For everything. I'm so glad we found each other."

Easy nodded; it was always easier to have someone to blame, even if that someone was yourself. Because it wasn't fair, and didn't someone need to answer for that? The injustice of it was a directionless sting, but why would the barb land at all if it wasn't somehow deserved?

But things didn't work that way. Good people got hurt. Good people lost loved ones.

Everybody died.

In a way, they were all just walking each other home, steps coinciding for a time, but each one taking them closer and closer to that inevitable grave. For many, that grave was far closer than they knew.

Years ago, shortly after her first litter was born, Easy had made a very hard decision. Three had been born to her — but one was not thriving as the others did. She had been so afraid for him. The world was so big, and he was so very small. He had been safe in her body, but outside it, she did not know if she could keep him alive.

So she hadn't. She had eaten him, and taken his life and his name back into her body where it could be kept safe and held close. But looking at Sumac, she couldn't help thinking that his spirit must have escaped her and found this man instead.

"I am glad, too," she replied, deeply moved. "I have been looking for you, I think, for quite some time. Sumac. Anurag."

The blackbear leaned forward to press a kiss to his brow.

"We will honor your family," she told him. "Do they keep a surname? A pack name?" she asked him.

Sumac's smile was like the light of the sun - it radiated such warmth and joy, reflecting the radiance bathing his soul. Gone for now was the murky gloom that had earlier that night dominated his experience. The tension he always carried in his body seemed to have melted out of his muscles, his ears erect and expression easy. His golden-tipped tail swished contentedly behind him, and if one were just seeing him for the first time, they would hardly suspect that this amiable figure was usually the victim of his own traumas and insecurities.

"You think so? I've kind of felt that way, too, but I thought it was just my imagination," he replied softly, closing his eyes gently as she kissed his brow and bestowed him with another name. Anurag. He was often naive to the ways of the world, but even 'Mac understood the significance of this gesture. A lump formed in his throat, his eyes reopening wide with a mixture of love and wonder.

It took a moment for his breath to return.

'Mac felt the dust gently dislodge from his memory as he reopened the book of his family history. Images flooded his mind, and warm, old feelings.

"Pinebreeze. We called ourselves the Pinebreeze clan, but that wasn't very often 'cause we didn't get a lot of visitors asking about it. Ma said we were named after the sound of the breeze whistling through the big pines of our home. It was such a nice sound, almost like the trees were singing," he mused, then stopped, his expression turning somber once more, "Those trees felt so... stable. Steady. Permanent. Like they were our guardians, and they'd always be there. They were friends, and now... Now they're probably dead."

He sighed and lifted his nose to the passing wind, gulping in a few airfulls to help clear his turbulent mind.

"Ma and Da left their families to start their own. There was one litter before me, and only two lived: Oak and Cherry. Oak left during his second spring, which broke Ma's heart and made Da angry. Cherry stayed and helped Ma and Da. There were four of us in my litter: me, Hawthorn, Maple, and Sycamore. Then there was Birch and Willow after us, and Sitka, Juniper, and Spruce after them. I can still see them, sitting in the Grove in the moonlight," he smiled again, meeting Easy's gaze, "We were a happy bunch. Life was good, y'know? We had just enough and didn't want for anything."

Pinebreeze.

This was a good name. Easy tucked it away in her heart, along with all the names that came after. The conventions here were similar to those in her own family — although Easy herself had departed from tradition with her own children.

"I wish that I could restore them to you," she said with a sad little smile. "You will meet again in time. But Sumac, I would name these babes Morningbreeze, if you would call yourself their brother. Them and my other children, should you come to meet."

No wolf deserved to live without a family. Easy believe this with her whole heart. But not all wolves would have fit into hers as well as Sumac seemed to. This belonging ought to be observed, and she thought that this was the way to do it.

"I will have to settle down for the springtime, while they are born and while they grow large enough to run" she told him. "We can decide together if we want to stay beyond that, or if you feel ready to strike out on your own — find a girl to bring home? — or if we would rather move on to another place. Perhaps next year it will be your own family we raise there. No matter what, though, I want you to know that you have family in me. And I want my family to be your family, so that you are held close even after I pass."

She gazed at him intently.

"Say that you will accept this," she commanded.

"It's okay, Easy... I really, really wish with all my heart I could bring them back, too. But... I have to accept that they're gone. Somehow... but it's hard," he trailed off, the starlight reflecting in his golden eyes.

His eyes snapped to her's at her next statement.


Family? A new one? Of course, it seemed only natural that Easy would accept him into her own after so generously taking him under her wing. But it still seemed almost too good to be true... and yet... and yet...

It just seemed so... right.

"I-I..." he stammered, his ears erect, sunshine eyes wide with shock, "I would... be honored, Easy. I don't know what to say." 

'Mac nodded as the woman outlined her plans for the future. It made sense that their primary concern would be fostering the new life that grew inside of her, and ensuring they had the best possible opportunity to thrive. The Mackenzie was determined to be there at her side to assist with raising his new siblings, doing his best to procure food and ward off any threats. He could be tough if he had to be, right? Of course! He puffed out his chest - just a little.

And then the conversation took a sharp left turn - a girl?! Oh my. He hadn't thought about that... wait, wait, wait... HAD he? What was all this fuss about Minnow, then? Oh, Mother Moon... did he have a crush on her? Suddenly Sumac had the desire to flee in the opposite direction should the pretty lass suddenly materialize in front of him. It was spring, and he was now old enough to raise and provide for a family - was he ready for that? And then, Da's words echoed in his mind. They lived on through him. Perhaps it was his duty to keep his line from dying out - maybe they could come back, just in different skins.

He coughed. "Yeah, well... I guess we'll see and cross that river when we get to it, right?" he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head with a paw in embarrassment.

"Thank you, Easy. I can't... I can't even tell you how much this means to me; how much you mean to me. Yes, I happily accept."

Morningbreeze...

The blackbear glowed with satisfaction, her orange eyes drinking in features that were so quickly becoming familiar to her. She had mourned Anurag in private, and although he'd not been long in this world, she had felt him missing from her life all the same. As much as she'd always tried to comfort herself with the knowledge that she carried him with her, she could not help feeling that something had been restored to her when she looked into Sumac's beloved face.

She only hoped that he felt the same, and that she might bring some comfort to him in return.

"Good," she said with an air of finality. Some of the commanding air faded from her posture, and it was absent from her voice when she next spoke: "Thank you, Sumac. You have become so very dear to me." She searched his face. "I only want to see you happy," she told him. "You will have a place in my life always, and in the lives of these babes as well. But it is not the same as falling in love, and fathering your own children."

Hurrying, she went on: "I will not pressure you." Tonight, I will not. "But I hope you will open yourself to the possibility. There is joy to be found, despite any risks you see."

"You're important to me, too, Easy," 'Mac replied with a soft smile, "I've learned so much from you in such a short time, and I'd never have gotten this far without you."

If he could have blushed, he would. He certainly felt the warmth of her love wash over him, filling him with a comfort and ease that he wasn't sure what good deed he'd done to deserve. Sumac found he only wished he could adequately convey his affection to Easy, about how she'd become a such an anchoring rock for this unmoored soul. But he wasn't the best with words.

"You'll always have a spot in my heart, Easy, even when..." ...You're gone. He trailed off, clipping his thought short and trying not to choke on the sudden lump that formed in his throat. No, he wouldn't ruin this precious moment with thoughts such as that. Thankfully, the black bear's next statement provided enough of a lure to pull his mind from such dismal territory.

He had to admit that the part of him that found the thought of siring his own family appealing was growing stronger. In fact, as the season aged, he found the desire to wander getting more persistent until it seemed an almost unbearable pull. This was new to him. What was he searching for? Was it this? 'Mac was not one of those males to wantonly spread himself around, motivated solely by the desire to satisfy his biological imperatives. His heart was more interested in commitment, in nurturing and growing an acorn into a strong, towering oak. Was this what he ultimately wanted in life?

"I'll trust you on that one, Easy. But I'm afraid. I feel like I'd need more... worldly experience. I'm just... me," he said a little lamely, his ears drooping.

She was flattered by these words, but Easy knew better.

"I think you should give yourself a little more credit," she told him, torn between sadness and amusement. If only he could see himself how she did! She was not blind to his faults, but she saw a fighting spirit in him. He would have found himself again, in time.

But of course he was afraid. The black bear gazed steadily back at him, having no comforting words to speak on the matter. He was right to be afraid. The world was a frightening place. Life was snuffed out so easily. She knew this as well as anyone; as well as Sumac himself.

"Fear is something we must all learn to live with," she said quietly. "I know you can do this. But there is not shame in not feeling ready, either. I don't think anyone is truly ready until they've done it a time or two."

She flashed a little smile.

"I had my nephew to practice on before I had my own litter," she told him. "But you're stronger than you think, Sumac. Stronger, and smarter, and braver. And I will be with you. I will, until I can't anymore. The parts of me that matter will stay with you always."

Sumac closed his eyes and pressed his chin to his chest, lost in the storms of his own thoughts. This conversation had unknowingly kicked up the dust of dark recesses within his mind that he'd not even been aware were there. What did he want from life? The picture was coming into clearer focus in his mind, as if their exchange was a lens in a microscope.

"You have such faith in me, Easy, and I'm so grateful. I trust you and your judgement completely, but why can't I see what you see so clearly?" he said softly, opening his eyes and gazing out over the rippling grasses.

He was silent for a few more breaths' time, a faraway look haunting his face. His amber eyes then came back into focus.

"I guess doing the things that scare you is the only way to get fear to roll on its back," Sumac said, turning his gaze back to Easy, "I think I know what my heart wants. But I can't let fear of failure tell me how to live this life. I can only do the best I can."

A small smile wrapped itself across his maw as a look of determination came over him, and he sat a little straighter.

"You know, Easy, I carry all of Pinebreeze with me, right here," he stated, taking a paw and pressing it to the center of his chest, "And when I can't see you anymore, you'll be there, too. If I can keep going, so can they. So will you."

He savored the passing breeze. Now came the work - the work of the heart. He'd find his place, hopefully with someone who possessed the same great dedication and determination that he did; someone whose soul sang the same notes that his did when he gazed at the full moon. If he thought about it too hard, it seemed impossible and terrifying, but somehow 'Mac knew everything would work out in the end, and that he'd be all the richer for it.

"It's like looking at your reflection in the water," Easy suggested, though she felt it was much more complex an issue than this: "You'll never be able to see yourself as well as you can someone you look at directly. I can see you, as you can see me, without that pesky filter. It's just a matter of trusting your loved ones when they tell you what you look like."

Her tail thumped in quiet commiseration as Sumac contemplated his fears and desires. It was so hard to move on when the past was so bright and cheerful. When the world had already proved to have nasty surprises hiding in wait. The urge to shut her metaphorical eyes in anticipation of the next jump-scare was one that'd plagued her since she was very young — and it had taken a long time for her to reach this place of acceptance.

But the truth was: she was still so very afraid.

Perhaps Sumac would see this in her eyes as she gazed at him. It was an undercurrent beneath that maternal warmth and sparkle of mischief that ever-present smirk that hovered around the corners of her mouth, but it was there. It was as much a part of her as her confidence. As much a part of her as her love for him.

The black bear sat up, shifting to press her side to Sumac's. She looked up at his stars again, her chest heavy despite the bright sparks of light and happiness that still existed in her life. She sang,

"Ooh child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh child, things'll get brighter
Some day, yeah,
we'll put it together and we'll get it undone
some day when your head is much lighter
some day, yeah
we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day when the world is much brighter..."

Shall we fade soon and have another?

“Huh… I never thought about it like that before,” ‘Mac said, tilting his head to the side with a sense of wonder on his face. He remained silent for a moment before a smile slid its way up his maw, transforming into a full-fledged grin, “You’re so wise, Easy.”

He turned his head to full look at her, a combination of joy, ease, and darkness intermingling within the liquid gold of his eyes. He suddenly appreciated how complicated it was just being, how many emotions one could hold at once.

There was something in the black bear’s own ember gaze, something all too familiar and close to home, but unspeakable all the same. Between them, there was a camaraderie forged in tragedy and sorrow, of finding another soul wounded in nearly the same exact place as one’s own.

He pressed his side against her own, returning her gesture. Softly, softly, he closed his eyes, his ears opening to her melodious voice as she took up a soothing tune. Yes, there was so much pain, but it made the joy all the more precious, all the more bittersweet.

Sounds good to me