Dragoncrest Cliffs of war, of blood, of death, of beauty

bwp thread 2. this post is about as chaotic as eske feels right now, lmao.

eske's always went through life fearlessly. went to battle with her head held high and ready to face what the blackfeather wolves had to throw at her without batting an eyelash. but this? this thing attached to her neck caused a unbridled panic in her chest which was tight. each breath was a struggle as she hyperventilates, her pupils dilated and her eyes wild. she needed to calm down. she knows this. she can't fight it when she's panicking because when she's panicking she isn't thinking straight. she knows this and yet she can't. it's a pressure on her neck and the more she thinks about it the more it frightens her. she was in an internal war with herself as she left the tangle and neared drageda's borders. she wasn't sure she wanted to return ...that it was safe to return having no idea what was latched onto her. was it contagious? would it hurt her packmates? each consideration was measurably worse than the last and by the time she stumbles — still a little derpy from the sedative — her ears are flat against her skull and the hair on her nape is in a constant bristle. her heartbeat is loud in her ears as she presses against the nearest tree for support after stumbling again. her legs still feel a bit too heavy for her body. she tries to take a deep breath and it is quick and hollow. she tries again and takes is successful if only because she holds her breath for a few seconds before expelling it slowly. and then she tips her head back and lets out a call as she presses against the tree so hard that she fears she might sink right into it.

Furi wakes up most mornings with a looming feeling of dread and often takes a few hours to fade away. She spends more time on the borders than she did before the war, marking where it is weak and keeping an eye on changes. She tries to have someone with her, if only in case something happens, but she prefers the times when she is alone and she doesn’t have to worry about what her companion is thinking about—or often talking about—and she can try to sort things on her own and exist without shaping herself a certain way.
 
Today, she does not get the luxury of being along with @Blixen at her side. Furi does not mind the company, if anything she still enjoys it (most of the time, anyway). The fiery girl is chattering on about something and Furi is only half listening, staring hard ahead of her. A blip of brown cuts into her peripheral and she turns immediately, cutting her friend off and running after it. Her fur bristles, ears slick back, and she easily catches up to a very angry Eske.
 
“Wanlida?” she calls, glancing back over her shoulder to see if Blixen followed along, but she swings back quickly to observe. From her position, she doesn’t see the collar through the thick of bristled fur along her nape but she slows to a stop shortly behind her.

furi's refusal to talk about ... them ... is starting wear blixen's nerves thin. not that it's very hard to do that in the first place, but really, all she's asking for is one conversation about their relationship. the only reason she hasn't blown up by now is that she's trying very, very hard to be patient and understanding and a good partner and a number of things that do not come naturally to her. 

"hey," the redhead starts softly after running out of mindless things to talk about, thinking, i'll push it just a little -- and then furi says wanlida and she looks up to see eske looking.. vaguely pissed off about something. she doesn't see the collar either, pulling up next to furi as she blinks owlishly. blixen doesn't know eske very well - furi does, though, and so she wants to see what's up.

wanlida. she hears someone calling her but struggles to put a name to the voice and even to the faces. thur? wildfire? no. too young. her mind is still sluggish and there is a part of eske that is aware of how very dangerous of a situation she's in — and not just because of the thing latched around her neck. furi and blixen. their names come to her too late and immediately another spike of adrenaline and anxiety washes through eske. the girls do not close the distance and she is thankful. "do not come near me." her warning is slowed and heavy and in trigedasleng. it's as if someone hit her reset button and she is no longer capable of forming the words in common tongue. she doesn't even try. she doesn't know if she's contagious, she doesn't know what it'll do if they come near her. would it hurt her or them? she wants to tell them about the dragon but even to her still half drugged brain it sounds ...impossible. delusional. "something is ...ah," she struggles to form the words in the common tongue. "on my neck." she pushes harder against the tree that's became her support beam and arches her neck to the side to show them. the fur at her nape smooths down as she manages that deep breath she'd been trying to achieve for however long between the time she awoke and now. she doesn't feel better. she can feel the press of the collar as she draws in the heavy breath and releases it just as heavily.

It doesn’t matter whether or not Furi understood the words in their tongue or not, it creates the same reaction: her ears angle back against her head and she glances at Blixen, thankful she’s remained by her side. Her paw lifts to take a step back but it is not what she wants to do and instead, she takes one forward and moves just as Eske begins to speak again. Something is on her neck. Her brows knit together and she takes a step around, curving a little to see the thing tight around her neck with a block attached to it.
 
“How did you..” she trails off, nervously glancing to the gona and then back again, not entirely sure how to even phrase the question.

the low rumble of eske's words cause her to start, instinctively taking a protective step toward furi. she doesn't know what's going on or why eske looks and sounds so strange but she'll be damned if she lets even wanlida lay a paw on fu-- oh. blix's still tense as eske speaks again, not because of her words (the threat seems to have passed - of course eske would never hurt them) but because of the strange thing on her neck. looking at it makes her skin tingle unpleasantly. 

blix takes a step closer to eske, moving from furi's side, curiosity making her blunt. "what the hell is it?" she asks, trying to get close enough to get a decent look at the collar. it's like nothing she's ever seen before, a strange black material that doesn't look natural. nothing about it looks natural, which only makes her more alarmed. "there's gotta be a way to get it off," blix adds, 110% ready to try and gnaw it off if eske will allow them to get close enough.

eske doesn't want to admit she's scared. but it threatens to rise up like an tsunami, to rush over her and pull her into the depths where she will undoubtedly drown. i am wanlida, she tells herself over and over like a mantra. she hopes to find strength to face the fear that burns her like a wildfire. i am the bringer of death and i am not afraid. furi and blixen do not listen to her warning. she feels a surge of annoyance at their blatant disobedience and she releases a low, warning growl very briefly in the hopes of conveying that she does not want them near the thing attached to her neck in simpler terms. yet, even as she does so she can't help but consider that they may not listen as they hadn't the first time.

"i don't know," eske simultaneously replies to both girl's questions even though furi's remains unfinished. eske's sea blue-green gaze flashes to blixen as the flame kissed girl draws nearer yet. "please," she begs them. "it could be dangerous. it could be contagious," she begins to doubt that, though, as she feels it's continued pressure upon her neck. it's hard for her to imagine it jumping off of her and onto them but she doesn't know for sure. "it could kill me, it could hurt you. i don't know." she gives her head a restless, impatient toss as if she could wiggle her way out of it. it's futile, of course, and leaves her feeling frustration on top of her uncertainty and fear.

Blixen follows up with a proper question and then immediately takes action. Furi glances to her, watching her step closer to Wanlida despite the warning. Why can’t she do that? Her brows knit together, cursing herself for being unable to even just… come up with the words to ask. In an attempt to brush it off, and focus on the task at hand, she sighs and masks it over with a deep breath.
 
The woman commands them to step back and she does, looking to see if Blixen does the same. She’s never seen such terror in her mentor and if she is scared, then shouldn’t they? But something seems off about the way she holds herself against the tree and speaks with a slight slur. What happened out there? “Did you see what happened?” she decides to ask, hoping to get a little more information and maybe they can figure it out without hurting anyone.

blix freezes with one paw raised as eske growls, making it clear her warning is not to be ignored. a small frown materializes on her face but she obeys, taking a couple steps back 'til she's next to furi again. "does it hurt you?" she asks, nearly overlapping furi's question, worried suddenly that eske will die dramatically in front of them and wanting very much to not have that happen.

erm, i fell asleep about half way through writing this so if it makes no sense that's why, lmao.

furi asks eske what she saw and though she's still shaking off the effects of the sedative she'd been given she is beginning to calm down. the collar is a constant reminder; foreign as it presses her fur down with it's weight but she can focus beyond it now. baby steps, she reassures herself. "i don't ...know for sure," eske replies, hesitating upon her words, her ears fluttering back in disappointment at herself. "it was big and loud. some sort of huge bird, maybe?" she keeps her dragon theory to herself ( though for all eske knows a big bird could very well be a dragon ). she's uncertain and she does not try to hide her uncertainty from either of the girls present. she's made something of a spectacle of herself, she realizes as the last lingering vestiges of sedative finally wear off. she feels free, like a marionette having been severed from it's puppet master.

eske's gaze focuses upon blixen as the other girl asks her a question regarding the collar. "no, it doesn't hurt. it's more uncomfortable than anything else." eske admits figuring it might be hugely redundant to state that she was far from happy about it regardless of whether it caused her pain or not.

Eske’s answer doesn’t make the situation any less confusing. If anything, more? Did a bird do this? Her brows knit together and she glances away, trying to focus on the information at hand. Their biggest success is that it doesn’t hurt and Eske can still function, as far as she can tell. She seems off, somehow, but Furi can’t quite put her paw on it.
 
“We should tell Heda,” she says, glancing to Blixen for assurance. This is something she’ll want to know about, right?

"it would be a bird," blixen mutters darkly, though she's reassured to hear the weird device doesn't hurt. furi suggests nomi, and the gona nods, glancing at her girlfriend. "we should," she agrees, "and maybe portia? maybe she can give you something that'll make it less weird at least." she doubts the dainty fisa will be able to remove the device if eske couldn't, but she knows she's got herbs for anxiety and such.

I hope you guys don't mind I faded this out since it was getting kind of old. If you want to continue, just let me know and we can fix it!

They aren’t going to get any answers just standing there and they’ve more or less agreed to get someone else involved. When Eske is ready to move and feels steadier on her own four legs, they begin to move and call for the Heda and @Portia to address the situation and where to go from there. She glances anxiously at Blixen, feeling a worrying, heavy weight in her chest as she helps guide Wanlida further into their territory.