Stavanger Bay tell me what it feels like

backdated to june 14th, for @Thistle Cloud

Charon hadn't doubted for a second that Thistle would promote him to be her trusty Beta when he became nine months of age. He hadn't been nervous about it, had proudly told everyone he knew, and he had even introduced himself as Stavanger Bay's Beta because, well, it wasn't really a lie if it was gonna happen soon anyway, right?

Yet on the day itself, Charon found himself feeling slightly tingly in the stomach. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, either: should he just act like Beta and that'd be that, or should he talk to Thistle about it and get 'officially installed' (did that happen? was there going to be a ceremony?), or should he be the one to announce to the pack that he was now Beta, just like that, so that they'd know?

It wasn't often that Charon was pacing around, but he found himself indecisively pacing about outside the family den. Whenever his mind slid to the recently vanished -- and probably deceased, Charon reminded himself while he echoed Ragnar's words about Liyaní and Kevlyn in his mind -- Jorunn, Charon felt a brief wave of guilt before pushing his mind back to the matter of his impending leadership.

Okay sorry about that Bible School this week.

Thistle had thought about what Charon had said for weeks, days and more so after Ragnar had gone. The problem being he was young, and Atreyu was also a very good wolf to promote. The only thing that was against him, was that he had left before. Though now he wasn't doing so. Maybe it was time to take another alpha as well? Purely in friendly terms, because she did not want another mate, especially one she could have birthed.

Thistle had pressing matters on her hands, her son was gone. Her beautiful baby boy was gone. The most like her Ragnar and he too was gone. She searched for him tirelessly when she could, but the sad fact was she could not do it for long, for she had three other babies that needed her. She was the sole leader, the sole Queen, and it was a lonely throne. She sighed again, and tip toed from the den, anxious to do some searching. But her blue eyes alighted upon Charon and his ceaseless pacing so she stopped and chuffed instead. Is all okay, Charon?

When he heard Thistle's chuff, Charon halted in his tracks immediately and turned to look at her. There was a sadness about her, but then, how could there not be? Losing children was a part of life, so Charon had learned from young age, as all manner of things could happen to young puppies, vulnerable as they were... But it probably never got any easier. He offered a sympathetic frown, even though she did not ask for it and instead asked if he was okay.

"Just thinking about Jorunn," Charon lied -- he'd been thinking about getting promoted and what it'd be like to be a leader for real -- and then he casually added: "And, y'know, growing up and stuff." Charon felt nervous, not an emotion he was used to having a lot, and he hoped that Thistle would be the one to start on the subject so that he didn't have to wait much longer.

Thistle had been sad for months, she couldn't even count how many times she thought of just jumping from the rocks. But then she realized she couldn't do it. For starters she was a coward and didn't want to end up somewhere bad for such a terrible thing. Also she couldn't leave those she loved behind, no matter how much she wnated too. She still had three children here living and breathing needing her of the littliest and the rest of her family, Levi, Charon, Atreyu just to name a few.

A small smile twitched across Thistle's muzzle. A yes he hadn't forgotten of becoming beta, and it was adorable how he tried to be offhand about it. He was going to be a heart breaker as he aged, if they could get any females in their fold other than she. She dipped her muzzle Ah yes growing up. What were you thinking of that for? She teased him gently, she knew what he wanted but she would not make it easier for him yet.

Charon didn't show that he was disappointed when Thistle Cloud didn't start about his impending leadership herself. He hoped she hadn't forgotten, but he wasn't about to ask her himself either. She even asked him why he had been thinking of growing up, and he wondered if she was joking. He wasn't used to Thistle joking that much though, so he couldn't be sure. Surely she hadn't forgotten..?

The charade of casualty continued when Charon spoke again. "Well, y'know, it's a pretty big milestone for Levi and me," Charon clarified. He looked intently at Thistle Cloud's face, hoping to decipher if she had really forgotten or if she was just messing with him.

Thistle studied Charon to see how he handled her silliness. He didn't seem to say anything and she felt a little bad. But she said nothing at first she studied him, trying to discern what he wanted exactly. Did he really want the leadership position? or was he being like Levi and doing what he thought she needed, because she would not have that from any of her children adopted or biological. They would do what made them happy and that was that. 

Finally, Thistle got serious and spoke softly. It is a pretty big milestone, and I just spoke to Levi the other day about it. About who I should allow to lead and whether or not I should pick an alpha on top of a beta. I also spoke about trades with him. You both are such responsible boys, but tell me Charon. Before I give you anything or ask anything of you. What do you want? What will make you happy? Because I Do not want either one of you to do something or want something because you think it will help me.

Charon was growing impatient, and was really just waiting for Thistle to name him Beta. That's what he wanted, and she had to know it, he thought; why was she putting him on the spot and asking him about it again? Did she think he'd changed his mind in the past couple of months? Charon was often snarky and impatient, but he would not break his respect towards his mother and Alpha, and so he refrained from making snarky remarks about it.

Instead, he just calmly said: "I want to be a leader. I'd like to be Alpha some day," he said and looked at Thistle to see her response. "So I wanna be a leader, to help the pack and to learn from you so I can be an Alpha some day." Truthfully, Charon fully believed himself capable of becoming Alpha; he didn't really think that he wasn't ready for that, just like how he thought himself fully ready to become Beta. But he figured that Thistle would think him too young for it, and this way he could make his long term intent clear without being too over-ambitious now.

I'm so sorry i'm being a crap pack mate and leader lately. I have a lot going on health wise, and depression set in thanks to health concerns. But I hope to reinstate myself and get Thistle to a better place.

Thistle knew that Charon could be snarky and a bit rude really. She also however didn't stop it. She had no energy to do so. As long as he showed respect to the proper wolves, she was fine with it and as long as he always respected his pack mates, she didn't make much of a fuss about it. She could however tell she was slightly annoying him, which made her frown. Was it a good choice to make him Beta? If he couldn't even handle light teasing? She would have to watch that.

Thistle looked him over, You are not yet ready to be an alpha Charon. Some days I do not even think I am ready for that position. But Beta you can have. You have to hold yourself to a higher standard than others Charon. Act faithfully, and kindly to your subordinates while being firm in your responses and rules. And then perhaps someday you can have the pack alpha position.

Charon didn't think that being an Alpha was a big deal, and he was sure that he would be ready for it some day soon, if not today already. Charon had expected to be crowned Beta, though, not Alpha, so he was okay with the position given. There was the promise of more, some day, when he was older and had some experience as Beta. That's what he wanted to be Beta for: so that he could learn from his mother and become Alpha some day, like she and Ragnar.

And just like that, he was made Beta. A smile spread across Charon's face when she finally gave the delivering words. Thistle said some other stuff about having to hold himself to higher standards than others, but he didn't hear half of it. I'm Beta! "Thanks! I won't disappoint you!" Charon said with a broad smile on his face, clearly happy with what he was given.

"I'm gonna tell Levi right now! And then I gotta patrol!" Charon said with a child's enthusiasm as he shed the last hairs of his childhood. He made to dash off, then halted, turned around, licked Thistle's chin, shot her a last grin before he darted off in search of his brother, to tell him the good news.

no problem <3 <3 my last post! :)

Thistle knew that he didn't think Alpha was that hard. It was clear in how he approached leadership so cavalier. He would find out though in time. She was certain of that. She would not mar his thoughts or his decisions or his choice with her own bad things. Perhaps she was just jaded anyway.

Thistle wagged her tail and watched him run away to tell Levi. Levi would be so pleased with him. She was certain of it. Levi, Charon what wonderful additions they had become to the pack. It saddened her that Julooke could no longer see it. Julooke would have been so proud of her children.