Redhawk Caldera Break my bones just to heal your pain

@Finley ...

The day dawned warm and humid, and found Elwood pacing along next to the stream that ran near what had formerly been the home he shared with Finley. He had padded back and forth along its bank for the better part of an hour already, his thoughts torn -- should he go after Finley? Should he seek out Peregrine and Fox and spill the truth? Should he just...leave?

No matter how long he debated, he couldn't find the answer that he was looking for. Nothing felt right, and he knew that it was because she was gone. His life had just changed forever, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to face his new path. Wherever it would take him, it would be without Finley, and that hurt more than he could have ever imagined.

A red-tailed hawk sailed past overhead, drawing Elwood's attention briefly. He came to a halt, his toes inches from the water's edge, and found himself desperately wishing that he could sprout wings and leave all of this behind. Sadly, that wasn't an option, and with defeat weighing heavily on his spine he sank to his haunches, head bowed as he stared down at the creek.

Not even a step.


Not a single step had Finley taken before it happened.

It was the strangest sensation of her life, and it had frozen her dead in her tracks, with one forepaw hovering, shaking, just two inches from the ground.  The grass beneath it tickled her pads and yet it was absolutely nothing.  There was no grass.  There was no ground.  There was no anything... Just.... That feeling.  That strange, uncomfortable... wonderful.. feeling.

Fin was still for a full minute before the sensation ended, and then even longer still as she took her time considering it.  What had it meant?  How strange it had been?  What should she do?  How... how did she bring it back?  And oh god, what did it mean... And oh god... Oh god oh god oh god if she could just bring it back.  Just once more.  The Blackthorn shut her eyes tightly as the tears began to stream down her cheeks.  There were no question, not really.  She knew what it meant.  She knew there was no strangeness to it.  But most of all, she knew exactly how to bring it back.

Fin spun in her tracks, her eyes set upon the Caldera upon the horizon.  The shattered pieces of her heart had been so very determined to run away from it - to run for her life in fact.  But suddenly... There was no life anywhere else.  As she began to run, it was actually towards her life that she went, finally.  Finally.



When she arrived, the sun had finally began to crest the horizon to color the land with its smooth, misty rays.  Finley didn't even for a second wonder where to find Elwood this time - instead, she cantered along the stream that led to home with confidence beaming from every step.  She found him just the way she'd expected she would - standing broken and defeated upon the shore.  It was terrible to see him that way, but she barely even noticed as she approached him breathlessly, whispering an excited "Twig..." before she pressed herself eagerly (and maybe a little rudely) against him.  Without a word she lifted her arm to lay against him, urging his head downward upon her side and holding him tightly.  Silently, she waited - her muzzle tucked against the other side of his neck as her tears slipped down into his fur.

The sound of paws against the ground drew Elwood's attention, and he looked up blearily. The last wolf he expected to see was Finley, but there she was -- racing towards him, her expression bright. He quickly convinced himself that he was seeing things and that his mind was playing a cruel trick on him, and it wasn't until she was right next to him that he realized that she really had returned.

His face shifted into confusion as she eagerly pressed herself against him, hugging him as though nothing had happened. Had he imagined the fight the night before? Maybe it had just been a nightmare. There was no other explanation for her behavior, and though part of him was glad to see her, there was another piece of his heart that was defensive and unwilling to accept her affection.

He started to pull away from her, though she was insistent. She draped herself over him in what was quite possibly the weirdest embrace he had ever received, and he felt annoyance growing in his chest. What the hell was she doing? "Finley," he said, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to push her away; he purposefully used her given name, despite the fact that she had called him by a pet name.

And then, he felt it.

He froze, eyes widening slowly. Her belly was resting against his cheek at this point, and he felt an unmistakable fluttering. The softest, gentlest of movements -- almost like little feet dancing across her stomach.

Elwood withdrew abruptly, his gaze full of questions as he looked at Finley. Was she...?

She knew he felt it.  She knew it.  The moment she felt his muscles tense against her, she knew it.  Finley held onto herself as long as she could before her sides began to twitch with happy laughter.  She hugged him even closer than ever as her tears - her blissfully happy tears - began to flood her cheeks in spite of how tightly she shut her eyes as she pressed her face into his ruff.


"I didn't lose them all..." she whispered, just barely amidst her complete elation, "Someone held on... I didn't lose her..."

Finley knew there would be things to discuss.  No matter how marvelously wonderful this moment, this miracle was, it would not completely erase the happenings of the night before.  But she had no room for that right now - not when her heart and mind we so full of happiness.  That and her belly was so fully of little whoever-it-was kicking like a little karate kid at his papa.

Before she even spoke, Finley answered all of Elwood's questions. She was pregnant -- still pregnant. There had been a miscarriage, but at least one of the puppies had survived -- and was still growing, still thriving. They were having a baby.

Elwood's heart soared. All of the grief and uncertainty from the previous night lifted from his shoulders; yes, there was still a lot for them to figure out. But it didn't matter in that moment -- they were going to be parents. The firebirds were going to have cousins. And even though it wasn't something they had planned for, he couldn't have been more thankful. This would bring them closer than ever before, he just knew it.

"You didn't lose her," he repeated as he leaned into her, resting his chin briefly against her shoulder. He didn't even think about the fact that she had referred to a single female cub; it didn't matter if there was one, or two, or ten. He just couldn't believe their luck. He then adjusted so that he could touch his face to her belly once more, this time noticing its shape -- it was certainly rounder; how had he missed that? -- as he waited to feel the kicks of their puppies again.

He gave his head a gentle shake. He was amazed. "You're staying...?" he finally whispered after a few long seconds, hoping he knew the answer but afraid that he would be wrong.

She was going to be a mother.  Finley Blackthorn was going to be a mother.  It was the single most wonderful and terrifying sentence known to man wolf.  Had she come to realize this before when she'd lost none of them and had just.. well, had she just not be so frickin' stupid and had realized that bloating and vomiting meant BABIES in the first place, her reaction to knowing then that she was pregnant would have been far, far different.  There would have been a lot more 'OMGOMGOMG' moments and less.. 'THANKGODTHANKGODTHANKGOD' moments like this one.  For had she never nearly lost them, she never would have known how desperately she wanted them.


And not just for her.. but for the man she held so lovingly in her arms.

Fin's eyes slowly opened when Elwood broke the joyous quiet that had fallen between them to ask a simple, yet monumental question.  She loosened her grip upon him slightly then, her fear and worry beginning to creep back in as doubt led the way.  She pulled back slightly, turning her muzzle away from him as she bit her lip nervously.  Her eyes betrayed her as they slipped back towards the handsome silver and charcoal of his fur, glimpsing nervously the moonshine in his eyes.

"I know..."" she said softly, "I know.. what I did was horrible.  And I can't even begin to..."  Finley fell quiet then, shutting her eyes tight.  She had never been good at words or.. emotional things in general.  With a breath she began to try again, this time deciding to let all of it go - all of the hurt, all of the doubt, all of the whatever, because what did it matter?  There was a tiny little life growing within her and it needed them both, regardless of whatever baggage or doubt either of them held.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, finally stepping back so that she could fully look upon his face as she spoke, "I love you.  And...  The worst of all of the terrible things that I thought through all of this... Was that I had let you down and that.. I didn't deserve you because I could never give you the things you deserve."  She gulped down the lump in her throat.  There was a wall before her, a wall that she had always balked away from but she now had the strength not to climb, but to just charge straight through.  Her own doubts and fears meant nothing to her.  Her life wasn't hers anymore - it belonged to the soul that grew within her.

"I want to stay," she said, her voice shaking, "I want to stay with you.  I want to raise this little one with you.  I want to be... I want to be like the most awesome mom ever to your kids...  So that I can make you happy.  And...."  She paused then, fully realizing that her rather poetic prose was coming swiftly to an end for she'd - in rather Finley-like fashion - completely expended all of her fancy vocab.

And thus, she ended her speech with the most eloquent monologue she had ever given.  "I wanna be your god damn mate so we can raise this fucking awesome baby and then have tons of even more awesome babies together forever and.. Fucking god damnit."

She withdrew from him in order to answer his question and he immediately wanted to pull her back, to press his paws against her belly and feel their child -- their child! -- dancing within. But he refrained, instead settling back on his own haunches and leveling her with his gaze. His ears swept forward as he focused his full attention on her, making it known that what she had to say was important. Whatever her decision, he would be supportive -- even if that meant that she and their baby walked out of his life.

Thankfully, that wouldn't be the case. Finley proceeded to utter perhaps the most words Elwood had ever heard her speak all at once; it was no secret that she wasn't particularly eloquent. She preferred to use fewer syllables in order to cut to the chase. But this time, although there were pauses and hesitations strewn along the way, she said exactly what he had been waiting to hear. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to have his baby. And not only that...she wanted to be his mate.

A smile tugged at the corners of Elwood's lips. Could it be that Finley Blackthorn had just said the "m-word"? It would have been easy to miss had he been distracted by the profanity scattered about like landmines, but there it was -- the elusive title that Fox and Peregrine had been hoping their friends would use once and for all.

"Fucking god damnit," he murmured, moving towards her once more. He reached down to touch her stomach with his snout, again amazed at the subtle curve and the fact that there was a baby inside. "I'll be your god damn mate," he agreed with a laugh, then planted a kiss on her belly.

Fin chewed nervously upon her lip as she waited for him to respond, almost feeling as though she were actually chewing right upon her very own heart.  There were so many things he could say.  He could so easily be mad - so easily.  She had left him.  Not just left him, but left him as though it was nothing at all to her.  Like he'd just been some wolf she'd shared a single conversation with once, but other than that, he'd been just another face in the crowd.  It had been cruel and heartless - necessary for Finley's self-preservation at the time, but completely terrible.


There were many ways that Elwood could have reacted - at least with a smidgen of bitterness at the way she'd treated him.  And yet.. there was nothing negative or cruel or even unpleasant about the way he reacted.  There was joy - elation - in the smile upon his face and the sweet, wonderful way that he enveloped her in his embrace and forgave her of everything.

Finley bit her lip as the tears swam stronger than ever in her eyes.  She could hardly believe it; could hardly believe that such a disaster of a wolf like her could be so blessed with these two amazing creatures in her company.  She lifted a paw to place upon his shoulder as she shivered happily, little no-name wriggling as though he/she had any idea how amazing this moment was.  She breathed deeply, a laugh shaking out of her mouth.  "Well fucking god damn good," she insisted with a happy laugh, searching for his ear with her snout.

If there was one thing that Elwood could say about Finley, it was that she had turned his life upside down on more than one occasion. Their relationship had been a rollercoaster from the start, and each time they crested a hill and started coasting, they were always met with an unexpected loop. This was, perhaps, the biggest corkscrew yet -- but it couldn't have made Elwood happier. He chuckled as Finley agreed with him -- cuss words and all -- and then sat back, his ear twitching momentarily as she snuffled at it.

There was so much that they needed to do -- talking to their family was somewhere near the top of the list, of course -- but all he wanted to do was retire to their den and enjoy each other's company. They would have plenty of time to share their joyful news with everyone else; these next few hours were meant for them to revel in their wondrous discovery. It would be just as important to try and figure out the timeline of the pregnancy, so that they would know when to expect their miracle baby. Tiger would be able to help with that, surely.

"Come home?" Elwood said, slowly getting to his paws and taking a step backward. Had he hands, he would have reached them out to Finley, beckoning her to follow. His heart swelled as he gazed at her. Their lives were changing before his eyes.

Finley's response had been rude and... really, really weird.  And yet Elwood simply smiled at her as though she was the sun that he revolved around and encouraged her to come home with them.  Immediately, Fin's heart swelled at his invitation.  His extension meant his acceptance; no matter what it meant.  As much as Fin wanted to reciprocate and show him how truly she meant her pledge to him as well, the sight of their den out of the corner of her eye... it made her insides twist with discomfort.


"That's not home," Fin replied after a beat, canting her head lightly in apology just after, "I mean... it is, but..."  The beta turned her head towards it then, studying the darkness between the pines she had so once loved.  "Is it, like..." she started slowly, and admittedly a little awkwardly, "Is it wrong of me to not want to go back there?  It's just that... Yeah, that was home.  But.  I dunno.  It doesn't fit anymore.  I want something new, something all our own.  Something that leaves all of... all of that behind."  Finley frowned, feeling as though she wasn'ted (yes... ima leave dat) explaining it right until she finally turned towards him, trusting in her little frowny, happy, weirdy face to express the emotion that she was trying to convey.

She balked at his request, and he frowned softly, tilting his head as he looked at her. Once she began to explain her reasoning, though, his expression showed understanding. In all of the excitement, he had nearly forgotten that their burrow was where the tragedy had happened in the first place; their former home was now tainted with sad memories. Therefore, Elwood was more than happy to oblige Finley's request.

"Of course," he agreed with an eager nod of his head, stepping back towards her. His tail swayed gently as he pressed his muzzle into the soft fur of her neck, then he started to move away from the den. It was time for them to make a new start; they weren't just friendboy and friendgirl, they were mates. And they would be parents in just a few short weeks. They would find the perfect home to raise their child.

"Let's find something new, then," he said, waiting for Finley to take the lead.

wanna fade or keep going? I'm good with whatevs :)

Without asking her to explain further, Elwood accepted her words with a patient and knowing smile. Fin's ears slipped back as she favored him with a loving kiss to his chin. She cast a glance them back to the deathly had decided to abandon, nibbling her bottom lip softly. It was where Peregrine had brought her when she'd finally returned home after her injury. Where she and Elwood had first met and where their relationship had grown into the beautiful thing it was now. But it was also where they'd lost part of their first litter and where they'd nearly fallen apart.

As much as she'd enjoyed the life she'd lives there, Fin was ready to move on. Besides, it never really had been big enough for both of them, and now with a litter on the way, it definitely wouldn't do. Eagerly, she set off alongside her mate with already a destination in mind. A cheeky grin soon snaked across her muzzle and she gave him a sidelong glance. "You know what the best part about this is?" she asked, waiting for him to give her a curious look before continuing, "You really do have to do all the work this time!"

We can keep going for a smidge, if you want! :)

As they fell into step with one another, an inexplicable calm fell over Elwood. Despite all of the trouble that was brewing around them, he felt as though things were falling into place. There was still much to be seen over the next few weeks, and plenty of preparation before the miracle baby came into the world, but he was content. It was hard to believe that only a few hours ago, he had thought his life was over.

He laughed at Finley's quip. "You got that right. I'll be waiting on you hand and foot from here on out," he agreed. Truthfully, he was happy to do it. Soon it would be hard for Finley to get around -- an image which he almost couldn't conjure up, as active as she was -- and she would actually have to rely on him for many things. He was simultaneously excited and filled with dread; a fat, cooped-up Finley probably wouldn't be fun for her friends and family.

"Where are we headed?" he then asked, raising his brows as he looked at her. She seemed to know where she was going, and he wondered what place she had in mind.

Fin smiled broadly at Elwood's enthusiastic agreement.  It seemed that she wouldn't have to do a thing for herself as long as she was incubating their brood inside of her.  It was a relief to hear, but truthfully, he rarely denied her anything anyway so it probably wouldn't be too much of a change.  Except that now, he couldn't try to put up a fight about it or playfully gripe and groan about how overworked he was.  That did take away some of the fun, but it was necessary if they were going to protect the life they had created together.

"Towards the pine forest," Fin informed him when he asked, "Kinda near where we hunted for pheasants that one time?  I figure we can find somewhere in there that'll be nice and cool even in this heat."  While Finley preferred it be hot as opposed to the frigid cold of Winter and she knew the den would need to be nice and warm as well, she didn't want to risk any heat exhaustion by denning somewhere too hot in this weather.

Can has fat Fin thread soon? :D

"Oh yeah," Elwood hummed in response when Finley indicated their destination. He agreed with her; the weather was already growing steadily warmer, and she would probably be rather uncomfortable during the last few weeks of her pregnancy. Taking into consideration the scare they had already had, Elwood wanted to ensure that she did not get overheated or otherwise put too much stress on her body.

He slowed his pace just enough that she strode slightly ahead of him, then reached over to press his nose against her stomach. "I just can't believe our luck," he said, feeling awestruck. The baby -- or babies! -- were still at the moment, but he couldn't wait to feel them in motion again.

yes yes yes yes!

Fin didn't notice as Elwood dropped back, but the moment he poked his nose against her belly, she became well aware of his position.  She jumped lightly at his touch and craned her neck to look back at him.  His words were lost as she gave him a teasing glare.  "Don't you poke at them," she chided playfully, "They hit back, you know."  Finley's muzzle broke into a grin at the thought.  They hit back.  There were little creatures in there that hit back!


"Is it okay if the first thing I teach them is how to attack their papa on command?" she asked suddenly as the thought came to her, immediately setting her tail to wagging up a tornado.

Yay! I'll start us a new one tonight. If you're ready to fade this one, you can with your next post!

He laughed. "I know they do, and they can certainly pack a punch," he said, thinking about the way it had felt as Finley pressed her side against his cheek. It had only happened a few minutes prior, but it was already a memory that he had replayed in his mind countless times. If these puppies were anything like their mother, he knew they would be feisty -- to say the least.

"Is it okay if the first thing I teach them is how to attack their papa on command?" Finley asked, and Elwood gave her a jab in the ribs with his nose. "I would expect nothing less from you," he chuckled. He briefly found himself wondering what the kids would call him; the most surreal feeling washed over him as result. He was going to be a father.

fadesies! :D

Fin was pleased to hear that Elwood was perfectly alright with her turning their children into her own little army.  She knew he'd probably try to sway them to his side once they were born.  He put on a sweet, innocent facade, but the Blackthorn was quite aware of the deviousness within.  But that was exactly what made him the perfect partner for her, and while he was busy marveling over the fact that he was lucky enough to be a father, Fin was thanking all the stars in the sky, every drop of rain, every blade of grass, and just everything she possibly could that she was lucky enough to be the one that made him a father.


She kept those thoughts to herself, though.  Instead, she leaned over to place a kiss upon his cheek before continuing to direct their steps into the woods where they would find a place that was truly their own.