Moonspear i know we've made a graveyard of this all

there was no sun peaking through the opening to his make-shift den. small, breakaway snow flakes drifted in through the entrance, but they didn't glimmer in the light. they weren't pretty or inspiring. they fell to the ground blandly, not even bothering to wipe their feet on the doormat before they camp in. they made themselves at home right before him, slowly piling higher and higher outside. 

inside the makeshift igloo, it was warm. the piling snow barricaded him from the wind-- from the outside, from the weather, from others. it was comfortable, but terance hadn't slept. after his patrol with dirge yesterday afternoon he'd come here and laid down... and he hadn't moved since. there was something peaceful about watching the snow pile up, it paired nicely with the soft ringing that occupied his thoughts. he laid down, hind legs to one side of him and his head laid across one paw so he was angled to see the dens entrance. nothing happened-- terance was unmoving and unthinking. just snow, rising, slowly consuming the entrance. he made no effort this morning to dig himself out, like he had the past few days. it was suddenly not worth it today.

he was late. @Rannoch would probably be here any minute to ruin the perfectly good wall that separated him from everything else. but he wasn't thinking about that.

It had been some time since Rannoch had walked the familiar path that lead him to Terance's claimed sleeping quarters. Rannoch had prophesied that something was amiss when Terance did not arrive on time to their established meeting spot; when in the right state of mind, his friend was very punctual. Although Rannoch had given Terance the benefit of the doubt, and he had waited about half an hour, a creeping awareness became obvious within the first ten minutes— Terance wasn't going to come on his own accord.

As he climbed uphill, Rannoch squinted against the snow. It was falling steadier than it had when he had first reached their meeting spot. 

Once Terance's igloo was in view, Rannoch quickened his pace. He could tell that his friend was occupying the temporary residence by how pungent his friend's odor was, and from the dark form that he spotted when he looked toward the entryway. 

Rannoch stopped on Terance's doorstep and lowered his head so that he could peek into the den. "Hey Terance," he greeted kindly, his voice lacking any malice towards the situation. "What's up?" 

sure enough, rannoch came. though this time his friend actually gave him a decent bit of time to maybe get up on his own. it didn't happen, of course, and terance remained staring at the wall of snow that was building outside his entry way. only when his friend's blue eyes appeared above the wall did terance's own gaze shift, meeting them with a dull bit of recognition. "hey, bud," he replied, letting his gaze fall back down, "it's really snowing out there." that was all he could think to say. what else was there to say? he gave a soft sigh.

"it's happening again," he said, brows furrowing-- but without much emotion. if anything it was simply a facial reaction to his own comment, an instinct, but terance didn't feel the frustration that usually accompanied it. his gaze stayed put on the snow wall.

Despite's Terance's prompt greeting, the lackluster tone fortified Rannoch's initial suspicion. He waited patiently, feeling the snow gather on his coat, as Terance worked to reveal what was going on eventually. 

Upon hearing Terance speak his confession, Rannoch lowered himself onto his gut. "Is there room for me to come in?" he asked as he attempted to neglect the initial chill from the snow against his underbelly.

"absolutely," terance said without looking, forcing a mildly chipper tone. his den was empty, shared by no one-- there was room for at least 3 wolves in here. had he dug it himself perhaps he would've only made room for himself-- but this was an preowned property and terance had merely stumbled upon it. (hi mild pp) rannoch tunneled his way into the entrance, breaking away from of the snow wall terance had been so focused on all afternoon, night, and now morning. but he didn't move, there was plenty of space for him in the cave. 

"my shoulder isn't gonna heal right," he said passively, ears pricking a bit, "it'll be fine but... i think it's always just gonna be sore ish." his eyes moved to glance at it, but he couldn't see it from his angle. "and it looks gnarly," he added with a slight scrunch of his nose.

Once Terance had confirmed the spaciousness of the igloo, Rannoch shimmied his way down the snow tunnel to join his friend. He was surprised by how spacious Terance's living quarters were; they could have comfortably fit another body. 

Terance was quick to speak, and Rannoch listened to what was said. Although the news wasn't as bad as he had anticipated, he still felt for Terance and the injury that would lessen his livelihood. "Dude, I'm sorry to hear that. Has Lyra offered any herbs that might help the pain?" Rannoch asked, his expression sympathetic as he tilted his head out of curiosity. 

In regards to the appearance of the gnarled area, Rannoch observed it briefly, before offering, "It looks pretty badass." He hoped the compliment would lift Terance's spirits.

terance shrugged. "the pains not bad," he admitted, and it wasn't. it was just sort of dull, it was the fact that it would probably always linger that really settled weird in his head. lyra had offered something and he'd taken it, but it wasn't what he needed-- and he didn't think what he needed existed.

"that's what everyone says," he added, glancing down to his shoulder. everyone thought scars were soooo badass, but terance kind of hated them. they just served as reminders to him-- and this one reminded him of the time his very own sister almost died. "wraen coulda died... liffey too... they coulda-- just... it was so bad, ran," he said softly, ears flattening. did rannoch realize that? terence couldn't think past it today.

Rannoch nodded, taking Terance's admission at face value. "I'm glad to hear that," he admitted. 

The state of their conversation changed, and the shift allowed Rannoch to dive deeper into his friend's perspective of the cougar attack. Rannoch's ears flattened, and his frown deepened before he spoke; smiling didn't feel right. "I could only imagine," he replied, his voice sympathetic. "I've never had a cougar try and kill me but, I feel like the attack was somewhat like what happened between me a Vaati. Even though my experience was scary, I'm sure that it couldn't compare to a cougar attack." Although months had passed since he had been assaulted, Rannoch had his days where he just couldn't focus on anything but the events that had unfolded on that fateful night. "It's hard to get stuff like that off your mind." 

Rannoch shifted then, relocating his seat so that he could gently press himself against Terance's good shoulder. "Sometimes, you just need your days to chill. Do you want just to do that today?" There were others within the pack that could pick up the slack for the day. "I'll hang out with you, too, if you want the company." 

terance shook his head. “no no,” he insisted, “it wasn’t worse— or better, any of that just sucks. it all just sucks.” rannoch comparing his own near death experience to terance’s made him kind of sad. cause, truthfully, in the end, they’d both been the same thing, it was just someone else doing the tormenting. same with his bear attack a while ago. “i’m glad you healed,” he added softly with a small smile. 

“i just wanna chill… please,” terance told him, ears flattening. truthfully, he just wanted to snuggle up with someone until he forgot about all of this. but he didn’t have a wolf for that kind of thing, and rannoch laying in front of him just talking was as close as he could come— and truthfully it helped just as much in it’s own way. “i just, keep thinking— cause you had that bear thing… and then this cougar thing, and that’s not even the first time something like this has happened— that bear that attacked galaxy? and then those other wolves… the world just… sucks rannoch, i just don’t understand. is shit like this just gonna keep happening until we die?” 

terance paused, growing quiet. “that’s morbid, my bad.” he offered a weak smile, trying to lighten up the mood he’d just so swiftly killed.

"It all does suck," Rannoch agreed; he had never experienced a pack with a trend of misfortune like Moonspear endured. "It's odd that all of these situations have happened so close to each another," he added as an afterthought. Rannoch curious to know Terance's attitude on the unfortunate reoccurrences. 

A monologue ensued, and Terance poured out his heart to Rannoch. Before answering, he took a moment to reflect on his perspective on the matter. "I don't understand it, either," replied Rannoch once he had decided his viewpoint. "And I think that's the point. I don't think anybody understands why these things happen." He paused for a second, his brows wrinkling in thought. "Like, I was abducted as a young cub, taken to the ocean, and thrown into it. There's no reason why it happened... it just did." And, to be honest, Rannoch felt ridiculous repeating the story out loud; the tale sounded outlandish, and he wasn't entirely confident that Terance would believe him. "And then I found out a bear mauled my parents, and then I ran away and lived a sad life alone for a while." Although it had once deeply troubled him to repeat the stores, Rannoch had come to accept them; there was no changing what had happened. 

"And I don't mean to say all of this to bum you out but, stuff like this happens all the time. And although it sucks, it kind of makes the good stuff in life even better." He exhaled then, feeling a sudden weight lift off of his chest. "And bad days ... they happen. And its okay to think about it, but you can't let it get you down all the time." Rannoch leaned and nudged Terance's cheek. "But I know that's easier said than done." 

"i'm not... too religious," terance said quietly, "but mom believes in roman stuff, always said that if the gods were mad they made bad things happen." and that was terance's whole spiel on it. he had no other thoughts on the topic, bad things just happened-- and it (once again) just sucked.

the bear thing sort of hit close to home-- just because he too had come face to face with death when dealing with a bear. but terance had never lost a loved one-- and especially not his parents. he couldn't imagine. and??? thrown? in the sea?? terance's shock was written clearly on his face. who would do such a thing? why the fuck-- terance was baffled. "for fucks sake," terance said softly, glancing to hi friend, "i'm sorry dude, i didn't know any of that happened." and then he was quiet, simply because he suddenly didn't feel so bad for himself anymore-- he felt more bad for rannoch, and more lucky that his friend was laying here beside him.

after a little while, terance piped back up. "you're a good thing in my life," he told his friend, returning the affectionate nudge to his shoulder. unfortunately, this earned him a teasing face from rannoch-- who still clearly appreciated the sentiment, returning it in his own way-- and after a few back and forths, and terance announcing he was kind of tired, rannoch made the comment, "want me to be the big spoon?" to which terance responded a chipper "damn, you know i love little spoon." 

and then they napped, in a totally platonic and bro sort of way.