Moonspear when they come for you, i will shield your name

Almost immediately after he and Liffey had parted ways, Rannoch had set off to distance himself from his wife so that he could talk to @Terance in private about what his and Liffey's intentions were. Rannoch sought the boulder they met at daily for their patrol, and once he was next to it, he let out an urgent howl to beckon his friend to their meeting spot. 

An unpleasant concoction of anxiety and stressed sloshed in the pit of Rannoch's stomach as he watched Terance approach from afar. Rannoch moved quickly to meet his friend halfway and greeted him with an ardent nudge to the flank. "Terance, hey," Rannoch said breathlessly as he pulled from their embrace. "Thanks for coming so quickly— I'm sorry if I interrupted anything. But, uh, there's something pretty important I wanted to talk to you about." Rannoch did not shy from eye-contact; he wanted to assess his friend's every move in an attempt to fully comprehend his reaction. 

"Me and Liffey are leaving Moonspear today— as soon as we possibly can. But I know I needed to talk to you first before we did anything. You're my best friend, dude, and the thought of leaving you is tearing me apart already... I just can't imagine not having you in my life." Rannoch felt his voice grow tight, and he exhaled to attempt to lessen the tension. "Liffey can't see herself raising a family here with everything going on, and she's never felt at home here, and I can't continue living here knowing that." He frowned, hoping that he'd understand. 

"I don't know where we're going, either, but, we wanted to see if you wanted to come along with us. Wraen, too. You guys are like family to us, and we love you." For a moment, a flash of paranoia overcame Rannoch, and he quickly regarded the empty landscape to see if anybody was overhearing his soliloquy. When it seemed as though the coast was clear— as the most-recent scent of a packmate was well-faded— Rannoch continued, his voice quieter. "And if we make a place of our own, Liffey and I would be honored to have you be our Beta." 

"And I know this is a big decision... so I understand if you need time," he added with a small smile. "Just know that whatever you choose, I'll support you and your decision." 

the call was urgent-- and terance could sense some sort of... what was it? anxiety? in his friends voice. to say the least, he was sort of alarmed. but, then again, it was probably just something at the border-- since rannoch mentioned their meeting spot. maybe some sort of fight or... something? terance tried not to stress about it, but moved as quickly as he could given his shoulder. though, the most concerning thing about the whole situation was that when he arrived, rannoch was alone. 

he moved up slowly when he was within eyesight of his friend, head low and ears cupped forward. what's going on? his posture demanded, concern and confusion written on his features. rannoch seemed fine, but there was no mistaking the tension in the air-- something was up. "no i was just-- eating..." he sort of paused mid sentence as rannoch starting talking about important, stopping for a few breathes and then finishing his statement with hesitation. 

and then the bomb dropped. 

terance was no enemy to eye contact, he actually much appreciated it when dealing with friends-- it was more natural and felt more sincere. and he held it all while rannoch was talking, not uttering a single word throughout the monologue. and though he held his gaze, terance was visibly melting with each word. his whole life was crashing down upon him, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. even though the end got kind of positive-- like that's really cool-- it left terance with more inner turmoil and moral decisions than he'd ever had. 

"come with you?" he asked with a notable voice crack mid statement, "leave moonspear?" they were formed as questions but terance wasn't clarifying, he knew exactly what rannoch had said to him. but... leaving moonspear. this was his home. this was everything terance had. his mother had given him this opportunity through charon, and he'd made so much out of it. he'd made friends and honestly? they were family. and then his real family had come-- wraen had, anyway-- and that just made the mountain even more desirable. he loved it here. he loved hydra and alya and had so much respect for amekaze and charon. 

and lyra. lyra was here.

but rannoch and liffey... they were family too. and they were... leaving. and he had the chance to come with. 

"i've... gotta talk to hydra... and wraen. god i couldn't just... but like i want..." he fumbled on his words, resorting back to silence as he did when words just wouldn't come naturally to him. with a deep breath, terance tried again. "hydra will hate me... and if i leave, whatever i may or may not have with lyra is just... gone. rannoch i-- i know it's stupid, but i love her, i really do. something about her just makes my whole life better." but it wasn't true, and it was something that terance failed to see. it was true, terance lit up when he was with her. but that was the thing, he never was. and so every day he spent apart from her, working or hunting or healing-- whoevers fault it was that they never spent time together-- terance hurt, and he suffered. the not knowing and the lack of forwardness put terance in a wheel of pain, and even though he never saw her, and whatever relationship they had was probably entirely made up, he couldn't think of being so far away from her. 

another deep breath.

"but you're my best friend, ran, and... i want to be wherever you are. i need to talk with wraen, and hydra... and then... and then... then i don't know."

Rannoch's words had caused conflict within Terance— that much was apparent by the shift in his friend's facade. When Terance did reveal his thoughts, they came in the more ungraceful manner that Rannoch had encountered from his friend thus far; a part of him felt guilty for bringing this stress upon Terance. 

The mention of Lyra caused Rannoch's ears to fall. He was aware of Terance's infatuation with her, and he could understand him not wanting to be too far from her. If Rannoch had been in Terance's paw steps, he also would have opted to stay closer to the one that he loved. 

Fortunately, the distance from Lyra did not appear to be an ultimatum; it seemed to Rannoch that Terance was still considering the option of leaving. "I know that you've made Moonspear your home, and I know you have many wolves here that you love," Rannoch began and smiled encouragingly at his friend despite his nervousness. "But, I wanted to include you in this adventure of mind because I love you, and I think you'd make a great life for yourself." If Terance left, there was a lot he would give up, and Rannoch understood the heaviness of his friend's decision. 

"There's no pressure," he assured his friend, and he reached froward and nudged Terance's cheek. "And you don't have to decide now, or tomorrow... you can come whenever. I... just don't know where we'll be in a few days," he admitted as his ears splayed upon to top of his head.

it really wasn't the mountain that made moonspear home... it was the wolves. and, really, it was rannoch. rannoch and hydra and wraen and liffey. alya and lyra. and charon and amekaze. they were his home. and somehow terance just couldn't imagine moonspear as his home without rannoch-- without liffey. but no where else could be home without hydra or wraen. or lyra. his heart was breaking trying to put it all together in his head to make a decision. because he wanted to tell rannoch something-- right here, right now. 

he sucked in a breath, especially at the mention of a time constraint. "if... i stayed, it'd be because of... lyra," he said quietly, his brow furrowing. and hydra and wraen, of course, but something in him insisted that maybe they could work out... and that held him down. that held him here. if he left, he and hydra could still be friends-- wraen would still be his sister. but lyra? if he left he would ruin every chance he ever had with her-- and whatever was clouding trance's judgement struggled to let him do that.

Although Terance had not spoken about how his night with Lyra had gone, Rannoch had been left to assume that it went moderately well. He had not asked about the result of their moonlit venture, as he supposed that Terance would have told him how it had gone. 

"Maybe you could talk to her about it?" his head tilted as he regarded Terance kindly. "You guys have talked recently... right?" If they had, Rannoch hadn't heard about it.

oh. 

terance stared quietly at rannoch, his brows furrowing for a brief moment before his gaze averted and he gave a heavy shrug. "not... uh, not really," he responded sort of quietly, "but like-- we're just both busy, i get it, she just can't really hang all the time."  that was the best excuse terance had-- it was the only excuse he had. it was the same thing every time. we're busy, i'm busy, she's busy, there's too much going on, life's too crazy right now. busy. how ignorant could he get? 

a small, unsettling realization fell over him. his ears splayed, but he didn't voice his concern...

Terance's response caused Rannoch to avert his gaze towards the ground; it had not been his intention to make his friend feel bad. "Yeah, she's busy," Rannoch agreed. His stomach twisted uneasily as he looked down, and the feeling only grew when Rannoch 's gaze returned to his friend. 

"I'm sorry," he apologized quietly, "I should have known the answer to that." 

”right,” terance said softly, but for a moment after he was silent. something picked at his brain, and something else clawed at his chest with a sharp, nagging pain that suddenly terance just couldn’t ignore it.

“do you think she’ll care if i leave?” he asked quietly. his gaze raised back to his friends, his own green gaze demanding to be met.

terance let a small pause dominate the tension in the air, and then— regardless if rannoch had enough time to answer or not, and regardless of what he said if he did— the stoney yearling added, “i don’t think she would.”

The shift in Terance's demeanor was evident; there was anguish intertwined in the words that the dark guardian spoke.  When eye contact was demanded, Rannoch complied. 

Although the question was expected, the Epsilon found himself mentally floundering as he sought the best response. "I'm not going to pussy-foot around the matter," Rannoch began. "I do think she will miss you." Lyra cared for Terance, that much was obvious. Rannoch was unsure of how she felt about him romantically; the lack of report on Terance's part drove Rannoch to assume that their "date" had not gone as well as they had both anticipated. "But, I don't think she'll miss you in the way that you want her to miss you..." Rannoch sighed, unable to hide his disappointment in his realization. 

"I think you deserve somebody who looks at you like a love-stricken yearling, and who makes time to spend with you," he admitted, his voice quieter. "You're a great guy, Terance, and you deserve nothing but the best." 

to terance, in this moment, the words leaving rannoch's mouth weren't what he wanted to hear-- and they weren't necessarily helpful. to him, lyra was supposed to be that wolf. she was supposed to be the one that looked at him like that. but that was such blind hope.

and terance was slowly beginning to realize that, even though his poor heart fought it. his shoulders straightened a bit, and he let out a soft sigh. “you’re right,” he finally said, a crushing sensation pressing on his chest. his lips curved into a light smile, a small one, for a half a second before they pressed together tightly.

“well…” he then began, taking in a breath, "it looks like i'm coming with.”

Rannoch couldn't help but reflect on the circumstances that surrounded Terance's acceptance of the offer. He frowned, his concern evident in his expression as he observed his friend. "Are you sure?" Rannoch pressed considerately; honestly, he didn't want Terance to make such an important decision on a broken heart. 

"I want this decision to be because you want to come— I don't want you to wake up one day, regret this, and hate me for it." Rannoch said, sharing the same sentiment that Liffey had with him.

but... maybe, that was what terance needed. to make decisions based on a broken heart, to do something reckless and crazy and distancing. this was an impulse, but truthfully? he'd never been so sure of anything in his whole life. 

"i'm coming with you," terance said with a small dip of his nose, meeting his friends gaze again. his heart ached to leave behind lyra and hydra and charon and all the wolves he'd met and grown to love but... he'd made up his mind. "but i need to talk to wraen," he added with a flick of his ears, "and hydra."

Terance's rebuttal came with a strength that Rannoch had not anticipated; he nodded, his eyes wide as he accepted his friend's confirmation. "All right," he agreed, and a smile crept onto his lips for the first time in their conversation. 

When Terance listed the wolves that he needed to speak with, Rannoch nodded. "Please don't talk to Hydra until I do," he added quickly, "I feel bad for taking you along, and I don't want to make this situation any worse." His smile fell as quickly as it had surfaced. "This news needs to come from me," Rannoch stated, as his eyes met the emerald of Terance's irises.

terance took in a breath that could've been a sob, but his face was so still it didn't seem like he was about to break down-- not yet, anyway. his head turned and he stared into the snow with furrowed brows. truthfully, he didn't like rannoch's request. this was something that he too needed to tell hydra, because as close as he was to rannoch, he might've been closer to hydra. terance's love for both of his friends was often tied, and he knew that if he really fucked this up he'd completely lose hydra as a friend... forever. oh that thought just didn't sit well with terance.

but before he was defiant, terance was loyal and naive enough to trust anyone who he cared about's judgement-- and rannoch fell into that category. so, terance swallowed his pride and doubts and glanced at rannoch, meeting his gaze again. "alright but... i'm going to talk to her as soon as you have. i can't not talk to her."

"I understand," replied Rannoch with a nod of his head. He didn't want to prevent Terance from talking to Hydra, either. "I just need to explain to her firsthand what I've decided to do." Rannoch sighed and allowed his mind to wander for a second as he pondered the many ways that she might react to his news. None of the outcomes were positive, and Rannoch knew that the rest of his tenure at Moonspear would be an uphill climb. (HAH GET IT?)  

Suddenly, a thought popped into Rannoch's mind, and he looked Terance with a newfound curiosity. "Do you want me to hold off on telling her your decision?" he asked. "I totally understand and respect if you want to be the one to tell her whats going on with you." 

before rannoch had finished talking terance was already shaking his head. "it's gotta come from me," terance said with a frown. zues, he could only imagine the mess this would be... but could he even imagine it? to terance it seemed like only worst case-- even though he knew he and hydra's bond was strong he simply... couldn't picture a scenario where this went well for him. he would lose a friend today, a best friend, and if that was going to happen he had to take the full brunt of the force, rannoch couldn't shield it from him. besides, that'd only make it worse.

he sucked in a breath. "you'll let me know when you've talked to her what she said, right?" terance then added, hoping it'll help him figure out how his own conversation will go.

"Of course," Rannoch said directly after Terance had asked his question. His eyes fell briefly to his paws, and a newfound wave of worry overcame him.  "I'll call for you when we're done." Rannoch decided, feeling as though howling was the only way he could communicate with Terance. 

"And you're absolutely sure this is what you want?" he asked, looking his friend in the eyes. "This changes everything, and you're giving up a lot for me if you come along." He shuffled awkwardly in place. "I just have to make sure one last time before— before everything happens. I love you, dude." 

terance sucked in a breath, gaze to the side, but nodded. "this is... a lot, dude, i'm not gonna lie, but i love you too-- i don't think i'd be happy without you here," he said, emerald eyes raising back towards rannoch. 

he tried a smile, though he was feeling a bit queasy about having to confront hydra and didn't feel fully up to such a broad smile. the corners of his lips tilted up anyway, and he leaned forward to press his nose to his friends shoulder. "alright... i gotta go find wraen... don't let hydra bite your head off," he said in an attempt to be lighthearted, but it just made him feel sicker, "ah, bad joke... just, good luck, i'll meet up with you tonight." 

and with that, terance was off, mind made, fate changed.

The remnants of Rannoch's last meal churned in reaction to everything Terance had offered in the final moments of their interaction. The only reply he could provide his friend was a quiet, "Love you, too." 

He watched Terance walked in the opposite direction, his body rigid as he observed; too many thoughts had flooded his mind, and his departure was delayed so he could take a moment to himself. When Rannoch found the strength to move again, he turned from where Terance had left and headed towards the nearest cache to retrieve a gift for Hydra. Rannoch knew better than to go into such an important conversation empty-pawed.