The Heartwood chasing visions of our futures

The days grew shorter, the sun setting earlier each passing day as the seasons changed. They didn't look all that different to Atka though, passing her time beside Dreven, and Heph when she was around. She welcomed the new weather, the snow, and the rain that would follow.

The pale woman took in a deep breath, despite the clear sky and shining sun it was still brisk, cold. Atka appreciated the weather and the wintry air that graced her lungs. It was still today. The Heartwood smelled significantly different as different types of weather passed. While there was still a sting to the scent of this forest, the smog that was present in the summer months was gone.

Atka stopped her small stroll, ears pulling back as she tilted her head up and closed her eyes. She simply lingered in the moment, enjoying the way things felt, the way her fur caught the small stirs of the wind and the meager warmth the sun offered. Sighing again and cutting her moment of bliss short she sat down, overlooking the meadow from the stream that bordered this ash forest, she found herself here a lot.

Her mind always drifted to what waited in the following months. Perhaps they would stay here, or maybe they would seek refuge with the Hildibrandr. The thought alone brought excitement, a new land, a new group, everything new. When she thought of this her mind would trace back to the forest that Dreven had shown her, how beautiful it was. Perhaps they would go there, and she thought of it all, everything tracing back to what the future might hold.

As the days grew closer in their darkness, and the sun would set before times. Upon it's heels was Dreven. First up and last asleep. Working his paws to the bone. He had never thought he'd be this way. Had always been a selfish beast, but now that others relied on him. Oh he was still selfish as hell. But he also knew he would need to take care of them, and fill caches, if he wanted to keep them.

Cold air, curled into his lungs and then outward in a greying mist to coat the finer hairs of his brown cut jaw, and the edges of his nose. It curled around the frost tipped flowers, and the dew iced and crunchy beneath his paws.

Dreven caught sight of Atka and he stared longer than was necessary, truly. His tiny snow was beautiful and something painful and jagged pressed against his chest, as he tried to take in a breath. His thoughts curling and jumbling unsure of what to say or how to say it, but damn if he couldn't spend the rest of his life staring at her.

Finally, snapping out of his dirty dirty daydreams, he loped towards her and pressed his head to her neck, almost rocking her off her feet and he gave a sharp tug against her ruff, before he settled beside her with a slight wump.

Atka had immediately recognized his steps behind her, ears titling towards him as she pretended to be unaware, a smirk on her face until he bumped against her. With a sarcastic gasp she laughed and she shook her coat after Dreven had ruffled it, then slumping into the ground beside her. She hardly had to lean down to offer kisses to the top of his head. Her wagging tail had slowed as she looked back to the meadow with a deep sigh.

The sun was usually beginning to set at this time, but the two were not facing the direction of the setting sun. Rather than bold strokes of color, the sky here faded to dark in a serene way.

❝The uncertainty of the coming months don't have me worried for once.❞ She paused, glancing at him from the corner of eye. ❝It used to.❞

She couldn't explain it, it just didn't anymore.

There were not many of them in the heartwood. So it came to no surprise to him, that Atka knew his steps. He was also always with her, so she would grow used to his movements. A flare of unease skated along his spine, as he thought if perhaps she would grow lonely with only him, if they made no pack.

Dreven stared at the bold streaks of color. Red eyes fastened upon the horizon, enjoying the view. A low rumble of appreciation curled from his throat. He had always loved the sky. There was something about it, that gave him a sense of safety. If he could see the sky, well he wasn't doing to bad.


Dreven gave a small nod. His forehead wrinkled in concentration as she spoke. It didn't worry her anymore. It had never really worried him, until recently and even then, it wasn't so much worry as much as it was a type of fervor to just hunt and fill caches.

I never worried about it. Because chances were it wouldn't exist for me. Though now it seems things have changed.

He eyed her. What do you want of the future Atka? Do you want family? A different home? Just us? To form a different pack from all the others?

Atka looked back ahead from side eyeing him. She was quiet for a moment, trying to find the words to voice what she had envisioned, which up until recently she had no idea.

❝When I left my pack I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't have any direction or idea of what I wanted to get out of life. I was just going forward.❞ She paused, shifting her weight on her paws before settling into the ground beside her behemoth of a mate. ❝I didn't exactly have a good picture of healthy pack life, or families in general growing up.❞

Atka really didn't, but that didn't mean she stopped thinking about it and put it off the table. Her family was hostile, nefarious and corrupt, but she coped with it because of her aunt. The woman who was merely a wisp in her mind now was nearly carbon copy of Atka. She was small, colored like the snow, but had a pair beautiful green eyes. Atka thought of her again and her teachings of how mighty her ancestors were, the breath of the ocean, and the connection it had between all things. Closing her eyes, she swallowed back any of the feelings that crept it's way to the surface.

❝I would like a family someday, but they're such fragile things.❞ She looked back at him, with furrowed brows. ❝My mother used to be a good woman you know. Things happened and she wasn't the same after, she was a shell of a woman. She became distant and cold, bitter. I never got to know the heart she had, but my aunt told me so much about it. I don't want to be my mother. I want a family but I don't know how to prepare myself for the vulnerability that brings, there would be so much that I could end up losing.❞

She didn't know how else to explain it, she hoped that was enough. Atka didn't want to repeat the mistakes her parents had made, and that fear loomed over her whenever she thought of little Dreven's stumbling around everywhere. Joining a pack as well wouldn't bother her, but if Dreven wished to begin his own, she would be beside him on that.

Snow was quiet. Dreven wasn't quite sure if that was good or not. She was a quiet wolf actually most of the time, he often wondered at it. Even he was a talker if the occasion called for it.

His brow furrowed as she began to speak. He knew the no direction well enough. And his goal after his former pack was just to survive. He didn't want to die. He snorted in derision. I didn't exactly have a good picture of a healthy pack life, or families in general growing up.

You and me both.

Dreven wouldn't tell Snow of his family, mostly because it would cause her unrest to know some of the things his own blood had done to him. Or perhaps cause her to fear that he would do the same, he wouldn't, but that color of dysfunction, well it didn't come off, real easy. It was like a stain or a wound that never healed. Dreven had never been sure who he had looked like. His mother had been a white thing with red eyes, pink nose. He had inherited her demon eyes and his father. He had been large and brown and stocky once upon a time, but hard living and abuse had turned him into a shell.

Dreven was confused for a moment. I am fine either way Snow. It's not my body that's going to change with younglings. It's yours. But what do you mean you could lose something?

That was the part that confused him. He didn't understand how she would lose something unless she meant her figure, or her peace? Cause children did take up a lot of time, but then one day they'd be gone. And it would be her and him again, unless she meant just that, that they may be lost. And truth be told, he probably wasn't father material. He was savage and mean, brutal, lust incarnate. Those were not very good things to teach children.

Changes to her body were not her concern. Maybe her real concern was nonsensical, perhaps it'd even be more common if her fears were in fact linked to losing her figure, but it wasn't.

❝Remember how-❞ Atka paused and took in a breath, brows furrowing as she tried to piece together the example. ❝How you were afraid of your feelings in a sense? You knew what you wanted but you didn't want to get me hurt?❞

Her mind traced back to when she had come across him in the Phantom Hollow, his statement on how feelings made you vulnerable. How his old home was a place where feelings were dangerous. She could never entirely understand his logic on that, that was until now. Not that it was comparable, the trauma he suffered to her mere anxiety, but it did cause her to see what he had meant that day. Atka wanted a family, the idea was so bright, but the only shadow that was cast over it was the small chance that something could happen to them. It seemed like a childish fear, maybe it was. She couldn't avoid wonderful things just because there was a chance of losing it. Bad things happened and it was part of life. Atka wasn't an overly optimistic individual, she couldn't deny that aspect of life and she didn't, but that was the issue. 

❝I just don't-❞ Ugh, words, she internally cursed herself before continuing. ❝I know what I want but the looming idea that I could lose them won't stop echoing in my head. I couldn't protect them forever you know.❞

She still didn't even know if that made sense. It was all a jumble of words to her.

Dreven listened to her. A burning in his pelt as she mentioned his fear of his feelings. He hadn't been afraid of them exactly, but she had the just.

You think it went away? It didn't.

That was all he would say on the fact. He knew what she meant. The fear there. The overwhelming fear.


Dreven's ear twitched in response. So she was afraid of losing them, of life going for them. That bad things would happen, and that fear of the unknown was causing her to not one to tread a path, she clearly wanted. However, Dreven did not know how to fix this fear and anxiety. This time he had no answer to give her, because he couldn't. She would need to get over it or she wouldn't.

So instead he gave a nod. Then we don't, but I will need to stay away from you during that time, or you'll have to take herbs. And if you end up pregnant anyway. I'll hunt down the bastard and rip out his throat while you watch. Just so you're aware.

He sighed and closed his eyes. I understand the fear of the unknown, Snow. And it is your decision ultimately. Just remember not to let that fear take away your life.

There was a small inkling that he probably shouldn't have said the first part, but he wanted that part known. He didn't need to have children. It didn't bother him a bit, sure would it be nice to see little Atka's running around, yes. But it was her decision, because it was her that had to go through everything to get them. But he had behaved himself now for as long as they had been together. There had been no other's since they were official, and he would not sit idly by while another went after her during that time of her season. Especially if he couldn't.

I'll hunt down the bastard and rip out his throat while you watch. Just so you're aware.

Atka playfully scoffed, her fears seeming a little lighter in the moment as a hardly noticeable smile graced her expression. He was serious though, she knew it. She leaned further against him when he had mentioned how his concerns hadn't gone away either. But he was still here. Maybe if he could be here, while aware of reality and what might happen, she could too, for her future that is.

I understand the fear of the unknown, Snow. And it is your decision ultimately. Just remember not to let that fear take away your life.

He was right, she stared straight ahead as she took in his words. Atka was quiet, a comfortable silence blanketing over them. She probably wouldn't leave his side when that time came. If she were to end up with anyone's pups, it would not be a strangers.

❝Yeah.❞ She spoke out, blinking slowly.

A playful scoff to his ears. He lifted red eyes to her face. Giving a soft grunt as she leaned further into him. There was a shift in his body to allow her more movement and free laying. She was much smaller than him, and truth be told. He didn't mind her weight upon his body, it was a welcoming feeling.

Dreven licked along the shell of her ear and down past her ruff. A soft chuckle deep in his throat.

That is a worry for a different day. We have a while before then, and you can think on it. I will follow your lead in this quarry, Snow. Because it will be your choice. I can control myself if you ask me too.

And he would and could. It would be hard, gods it would be hard, but he could do it. Because he would not want to foist something upon her that she potentially didn't want yet, or if ever. And besides. He still wasn't sure if he was father material. But that was a problem to discuss on a different day after she made a decision if in favor of.

Snow what do you think of that place we went to visit? Of settling there?

❝You're right, I suppose we can speak about it when the time comes.❞

While Dreven could seem rough around the edges, he exerted an amenity towards her that made her feel at ease curled up next to him. It was a luxury to her. Atka closed her eyes at the affection, a small hum rising in her throat. She took a moment to think about his question though.

❝I mean... It's beautiful, doesn't lack anything.❞ She wondered who wouldn't want to settle there. ❝I would love it.❞

Dreven tugged at her ruff again. A gentle rumble of a purr in his throat. Enjoying the time with her.

Dreven was an asshole. he knew this. He was cold and cruel and angry. he would bite first and speak second, but when it came to Atka. She ruled him. Anything she wanted, she would have. No matter what he had to do to make sure she got it. No matter what.

Dreven sighed. Khasni has disappeared again, Alduin is gone. heph is traveling. So how about, since Heph has been good enough to fill our caches with my help we stay between here and the Strath over winter, and then as soon as spring arrives we move to there. Whether we start a pack or stay there just us two and Heph and children if you decide you want some. Would you like that Snow? I'm tired of living for everyone elses whims. It is important to remember I am no longer a slave. And I do not owe those who have left me behind my loyalty.

❝I would like that.❞ Atka responded, her eyes still closed in response to his tenderness.

The Strath over winter if they decided, or remaining here until returning to the beautiful forest they had seen come spring sounded lovely in her mind. She was happy, the stress of her past no longer looming over her, hopefully for Dreven as well.

❝You going to speak to Khasni about going to the Strath for winter or would you rather stay here still?❞ She wondered if the Saga's mind had changed at all.

To hear her speak of him like he was some cupcake, it would have probably amused him. Because he was not very tender, with her sure, but anyone else. Nope.

Dreven felt their best bet would be to travel between the two places on not so terrible blustery days. This way, if Khasni or Alduin showed back up, he could be the first to find them and speak to them, and potentially keep Atka safe.

Khasni has disappeared. Whether she is in the forest somewhere I don't know or off somewhere I couldn't say. She is angry and feels betrayed I think, though from who and waht I am unsure.

He gave a soft hum. I haven't decided yet. Though I need to very soon.

❝Hm,❞ Atka's brows furrowed as she thought.

Her interactions with Khasni had been brief, but the fiery woman would always linger in her mind. It was soley the wondering of where she would go, and what was next for her. These thoughts made her glad that she had some sort of direction beside Dreven.

❝Well, I'm following you... Either plan is good to me.❞ She mumbled, resting her head onto her paws and getting herself comfortable next to his warmth.

Last from me

He pulled her closer and curled around her, allowing his warmth and larger body to encompass her. She was beautiful his little snow princess. Slowly his red eyes drifted closed and he would be snoring in a matter of seconds.