Hoshor Plains I'm in the de-details with the devil

Babies. Whining. Squirming. Helpless. Babies. Dreven avoided that den at all costs. He avoided the she wolf, he avoided the alpha male. He avoided them all. Babies.

It was a constant mantra in his head. He had done terrible crimes and the babies had been the spoils that the queen had taken. He had kidnapped, murdered. And he knew there was blood on his paws. IT stained the every changing shifting of his soul and he would not go near these ones. They were not for him to corrupt. And he would not.

A painful knowing that he would have whelps like that. That Atka could hvae changed him. And it made his stomach hurt and his head hurt. So he went hunting.Not for the big beasts they weren't allowed to touch, but maybe hecould find that doe that had kicked him square and make her pay. Someone had to pay for the heartache, and it wouldn't be awolf.

oops its me again

As cute and precious as Envy thought the newest additions to the pack were, she could not shake the unease she felt around them. There was a shake to her limbs when she left the birthing den, a quiver to each breath that fell from her wretched jaws. It was only a checkup, and yet relief sagged her shoulders as she put distance between herself and the den.

She had to keep herself away. That part of her that was rotten posed a threat. That part of her that was steeped in hellish desires would rear its head, she was sure of it. She did not know if her avoidance was a conditioned response or one of her own making, because suddenly she would find herself having aimlessly trailed further into the territory.

Fuck, she needed to clear her head. For once the jittery nature faltered, and gave way to blessed silence. As usual, she'd manage to spot Dreven's umber figure making his way across the fields.

Hey She yips lightly as she comes up behind him, though this time, her tone is void of the usual conniving twist, her step is void of the skips and bounces. Hell, she could probably pass as normal.

Fine with me

IN his distance he had seen Envy coming and going from the den of the little whelps. And he didn't blink twice at it. After all she was a healer, wasn't she. That was to be questioned, but she was all they had and she seemed to know her stuff for the most part. She just also had a bit of an obsession with the dark and obscure that came with healing. But who was he to judge. And besides it made her an interesting thing.

He blinks and turns to stare at her. She wasn't her normal, weird annoying self. He warred between asking and not, because truly he kind of didn't care. But that was what wolves did right? They asked questions and made sure other's were okay? But like what did he even ask. Hey i noticed you're not the same you good, you're being weird? I don't like it. Like what did he say here?

So he went with his bluntness. What's wrong with you?

She wore her dejection so plainly on her sleeve, it was obvious anybody with working eyes would've picked up on her unusual lack of enthusiasm. Nonetheless, she was still surprised to be met with the question.

Plenty a' things according to some. You'll have to be more specific. She huffs and falls in to match his pace and walk alongside him. Her avoidance wouldn't last all that long before the facade would crack and her voice would take on a more genuine tone. ..Just.. havin' an off day I guess. It's nothin' big. the admission slipped from her lips, but it was not fully transparent. There was still a frazzled itch beneath the surface.

of course it was something big. It was the fabric that held her together coming undone. It was the questioning of her own sanity and motives and whether she had any seat in her own mind. But none could know such a thing, with her luck, she'd get kicked out again. The judgement wasn't worth it. She'd come to like Dreven, for what it was worth.

I came to ask you the same thing. You're scowling. Haven't seen you around near as much lately. She mentions with a tilt of her head, one ear flicking. Half of the wolves that settled here had become few and far between. She hoped he would not be one of them, even if uncertainty did rattle her own mind.

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Dreven chuckled. I think there's somethign wrong with everything darling. Some of them just hide it real fucking well. And then some of us don't give a shit or can't give a shit or both.

He turned a glaring red eye to study her. The other milky and blank as it always was anymore.

HE made a soft hmm noise and kept walking. She wanted to talk about it she would. She didn't want too well then that was her perogative. He wasn't gonna pull it out of her.

Because there's fucking babies, Envy. Fucking babies. I do not have a good track record there. And they're little and smelly and sure cute, but also a lot of work and loud and I could crush them.

He breathed through his nose. So it's just easier to stay far far away from them.

Tattered, ink-tipped ears flattened to her head as she listened to his reasons; not all that dissimilar from her own. Inadvertent corruption; that the foulest parts might seep out and poison the water and the earth and the air and every part you dared to touch.

Fear lapped at the shores of a burly exterior, just as it addled her own sickly mind. This was what reflected in her gaze; pooled voids of rich, hellfire. Something opportunistic and ravenous stirred.

Mm. She'd half-nod, half-hearted in her delivery- tentative.. sensitive was not the word- she could not be so.. Hesitant? The subject ached with the threat of implosion- like the lick of fire against oil-slicked skin- a personal touch. This much, she could see in the glare of one seeing eye, hear in the resignation that laced his breath. He had given it away in his words, she didn't deserve too much credit for figuring that one out. Still, something kindred tickled the back of her neck. She was nothing if not... prone to projection.

Envy did not know much of his past, nor had she dared to question. Bluntness was so often met with anger- and she couldn't stand it, no no, not one bit, when others were angry at her.

Today she got over that. Curiosity overpowers.

Track record? She raised a brow and skipped to catch up- her gaze probed his own for answers. How awful it was to not know something. Gnawing, clawing. She gave none of that away, it stayed quiet beneath a stone expression.

She laid her ears to her skull. He saw her 4hink8ng. Turning his words over in her brain. And he knew she would she always did.

Dreven didn't know what his emotions were. He didn't regret what he had done. The beast rarely regretted anything. A product of his traumatic birth, chaotic blood riddled childhood and youth. But he did know that some would look down on him. Accuse him. Hate him for what he had done. Not everyone was understanding like Atka had been. And he wasn't even sure if she had understood or simply wanted to deny.

A soft laugh. Why's it matter?

He tilted a tattered ear and continued onward. She wasn't going to get him to spill his guts with one question. He was that kind and today was not the day. And why should he share his past? It was over? Done.

Mm. I Guess it really doesn't. Envy's gaze finds the ground, forlorn and rattled with uncertainty. She had not offered him a secret in turn; so it was not to be expected that he'd actually answer her query- much as she longed to know. Times like these she wished she could open his brain up and pick around.

The past was best kept right where it was. She had not been forthcoming, either.

...I worry that I will do something... wrong. Abruptly, she says through a shaking voice. She was always told to keep her distance from the young, lest the vile urges destroy or worse yet- corrupt; but Envy did not know this true deep-seeded meaning that caused her limbs to shudder and the hair on her neck to stand on end.

She misunderstood herself the same as others misunderstood her. Looked from outside at this terrible creature that was her; and saw nothing but the potential for disaster. She knew well that she had a propensity to destroy when she was restless, unfulfilled, or otherwise scorned.

Perhaps it was their dwindling numbers, or the impending difficulty of the winter months; but security in body and in mind was at an all time low for the wretch.

She was not insane but oftentimes she felt like there was no other definition for her condition. She scratched at pearly forelimbs and let her tail restlessly sway from one side to another. I think.. I'm going to leave.. She'd say, even though the very thought of it terrified her.

Dreven saw her expression and gave a soft huff of a laugh. It was not that he carried them so deeply that he did not wish to share. It was simply not something spoken of in light conversation. But she looked forlorn and rather lost. And he was about to answer her, even opened his mouth. When she began to speak.

Why do you think you'd do something wrong? He was genuinely curious. She was a little strange sure. And she had a strange hobby and proclivity for dead and wounded things. But she didn't hurt purposely and she only tried to mend at least thus far.

He blinked surprised. And where you gonna go? And how you gonna go? And who will protect you?

She was small and not very strong. And a part of him wanted to let her go and not worry. But a small part of him did. She wasas likeable as most could be to him. And he didn't want her hurt. He really shouldn't care honestly.

She sits down with a thump, and shakes her head, best way of focusing the mind was to rattle everything around in there.

..Just... a bad feeling. a compulsion Same for you?

She rakes her nails across the dirt, leaving imprints in the earth.

..I don't know where to go.. I've talked to some wolves in the mountains, some in the forest. When I came here I thought there was nowhere else- and i mean, I was half-starved.. then Arktos's meaty self showed up n' offered me the chance at food I didn't think twice. Now I'm— She hesitates, toying with the word on her tongue before she lets it fall. bored.

...I can't be bored, Dreven. It's not a good combination. So I'm... gonna go somewhere. She huffs softly, crooked tail wrapping around her hide.

[b]I'd say I'd protect myself.. but I got used to having others do that for me. I'm sure I'll... figure out a way.. She steals a few suggestive glances at him, and then returns her owlish gaze to the mountain range.

The little beast was quick to shake her head and speak to the man in front of her. But he did not think exactly like her. His was not a bad feeling, just making sure he didn't pass on the badness.

I suppose in a way.

The mountains. he had been there. He had lost Atka there. He frowned in thought. That was near the heartwood. He had not been particularly happy there, but he hadn't hated it either. The forest was dark and deep. It wasn't awful.

She eyed him up with eyes wide and begging and then looked away. Even if she didn't realize it. Well fuck. Was his only thought.

He sighed and blew out a breath. You want me to come with ya don't ya.

...Yes. She'd admit through a croaking voice, releasing the breath she'd held in. ...If it'll convince y' more, I don't think there's much left here for you, either... and I'm sure you're a better guard than I am.

Still, the guilt of leaving Nephele and her little ones gnawed at her heart a little; Envy had seen the ache in Nephele's gaze as their home became emptier, and though she'd admittedly not come to meet many of the others as well as she would've liked to, she trusted that the alpha female would make her own way. Children were a hell of a motivator, or so she'd been told. Here they were after all, motivating these two in the opposite direction.

..Will you? Please? The wretch now looked at him straight on, before dropping to her back, rolling and sticking out a prodding paw against his side. I may die out there, you know. She continued to sell it, sparing no dramatics in the exaggerated roll of her head against the dirt.

He studied her with singular red eye. Thinking through. At least she was honest. He could give her that. And she was a bit of a strange wretch. But he was fond ofher all the same. Even if they had a rather strange friendship for two weirdos on the outskirts.

of course I am. There isn't. He admitted. But he stared at those creatuers he wanted to hunt ot disappear. He still wanted to disappear, but maybe he could do so while helping this tiny little thing.

He snorted a laugh andnodded. Fine. I'll go with you. Tell me when you're ready.

He had no ties, cared not one whit about the leaders.