Moonspear Idle hands

I keep accidentally trying to reply to this on Gyda's account. *flails*

For a moment Tev hesitated when Wildfire questioned him, ready to withdraw but ...he'd begun this conversation and he was tired of hiding. Even if the truth wouldn't paint him in a very good light. It didn't matter, really. It wasn't like anyone had ever had any illusions about him. He wasn't a good man ...and in that he was a chip off the old block. “The fight was my fault,” Tev admitted softly, swallowing thickly. He didn't want Wildfire to think bad of him but at the same time he had no control over what she thought ...and she deserved to know the truth since it seemed like Floki hadn't told it. Whether it was to spare her the details or protect him Tev didn't know. But he didn't need protection. If Charon or Floki for the matter wanted to throw him out they could go right ahead. He was tired of walking on egg shells, constantly stressing if he was going to piss Charon off and the child alpha male was going to spew more rude and insulting things at him again. “I know I should be happy for Floki, I know that but it's hard. It's hard because I've always been the dominate of our litter, and because I want to lead and it...hurts, I guess.” Jealousy and dealing with the backlash of Charon's decision on his pride hadn't left Tev in a very good mood.

“I'm jealous and I mean, Floki being promoted to Beta and me being stuck at the bottom of the adult ranks on our birthday was like a big, fucking slap in the face. It felt like Charon was taking a dig at me, like he was saying: 'Floki is perfect. Floki is so much better than you and you're shit, lowest of the lows'.” He took a deep breath and scowled in the distance, over her head. “If you didn't know Charon doesn't like me. In fact, I'm pretty sure he hates me. He was a total ass to me when I joined, and right now the feeling's pretty mutual so it makes sense that I'm so low ranked.” But if Charon couldn't handle the blunt opinions of his subordinates then he had no business leading (little did Tev know he was not the only one who held Charon in question). “So I climbed the spear to try to clear my head and Floki followed or found me and it just ...everything I had pent up just came out. It wasn't pretty.”

His gaze shifted to Wildfire for a moment, taking in her face before it shifted lower. “I know you and Floki are close so I understand if you don't want to talk to me again or anything. I mean, we said some nasty things to one another and I know I'm a shit brother and starting a fight was a shitty thing to do.” At this point, Tev wasn't even sure his mother was in his corner (but he wouldn't know because he'd been avoiding her).