Phoenix Maplewood there was an empty space in the shadow beside you

his breath came hard and fast, and the passion that had vanished a moment ago came back in waves. it ebbed and flowed like the tide, and if she did not leave him, he might be tempted to have her. all of her. and he'd be gentle and kind. . .but he wouldn't be able to stop, once he'd started. 

he could run off and fuck someone else, true. spare her feelings, her body, from the sudden onslaught. save their first coupling for a more romantic occasion, when the girl was finally in heat and able to bear their children and he wasn't so frustrated. take someone else for now, instead.

but he didn't want someone else. he wanted her.

with the utmost patience, aditya stood still in the snow, his heart hammering in his chest, staring her down with raptor-gold eyes. she continued to lie, or at least dance around the truth. why? what was she hiding? what was she so fearful to reveal to the one wolf who would never abandon her, not even for any perceived fault on her part?

then again, maybe it was his fault. the girl was young; perhaps she had found more enjoyment from a male closer to her own age, more in common, more energy. his age, though still somewhat low--this was only his fourth winter, after all--weighed suddenly heavy, something like drowning. 

but how could he voice it? how could he accuse her of rushing after someone else, especially if it was not true? she would never forgive him for his lack of trust; his trust, he thought, was what had won her over in the first place. trust, and saccharine words--honeyed phrases his tongue lacked in this painful, shattered moment.

maybe it wasn't someone else, but something else. something had changed in her; she didn't want him anymore, or at least not the future they had planned. that hurt worse than the internal dig at his age, he thought, feeling his stomach clench.

he had lain awake at night, dreaming of the seasons to come. made love to her in his mind a thousand times. named their children, and saw their faces clear as day.

here he stood, speechless, looking at her. nothing is wrong. she was lying--but how could he say so?

dard-e-dil. . .dard-e-jigar. . .dil mein jagaya aapne. . .

his uncle's song. he had sang one of vishal's tunes to dawn before, when they had first met. she had been charmed by it, and in turn, charmed by him as a whole. they had fallen in love, and not looked back. now another melody had sprung to mind and for what? the chasm between them in this moment was as boundless as the ocean, and he with no idea how to cross it.

with a small whine, as if he were sickly once more, aditya sank down on his haunches, hanging his head. well, and if she wouldn't--couldn't--show him weakness, he had no such reservations. she had mystified him, hurt him, and it all ripped suddenly at his chest like white-hot claws and fangs.