Northstar Vale Through the Hurt

Her muzzle met his cheek, and he stiffened, alarm ringing in every nerve of his body. His eyes flashing with wariness, he took a small step back, giving Pema a long look. For a moment, he was speechless, without the words he so desperately needed to give her. Words that kept getting caught in his throat, even as he opened his mouth.

"Pema," he said, voice low and rough. With emotion. . .and desire. Not a little fear, either. "Pema, I-- I like you. A lot. But you. . .you don't want me. I mean, you shouldn't want me." The statement hung bluntly in the air between them, an ugly chasm between her innocence and his tainted heart.

"You are too good for this world, and I. . .I've done terrible things. Seen terrible things." He shook his head, looking down. "I am not good. And you deserve better. You will find better."

His eyes lingered on her face, hoping and praying he didn't see her expression shatter. He couldn't think of anything he wanted less than to hurt her, and yet. . .perhaps that was what it would take. Perhaps breaking her heart was the only way he'd get her to see the light. That he wasn't a good man, that he was irreversibly broken. That no kind woman would ever be able to fix what was wrong with him.