Noctisardor Bypass john 13:20

for a second, andras felt the bitter heart inside his chest twitch with pain. he did know. shaba lived within him forever, in body and spirit and mind; but that did not make it any easier on the days where he wished nothing more than to see her face again.
not easier, his head leans down to rest upon his forelimbs. but different. the way in which we miss them changes. and i know that, he swallows; i know that she is with god, and that together, they are watching over me. your husband, he is still there. god may decide our bodies are done living, but our spirits continue on.
and now, he sees an opportunity for both of them. she is not shaba, and he is not caracal — but he can bring her back to a holiness that would please the man beyond. keep her round with pups, sedated and lovely with swollen teats and kind eyes; he can give her a perfect life.
all she has to do is obey.
and we can move forward. love is still out there, you know, he comments, a softness spreading across the aged features. perhaps one day we will meet our next matches. i think that we are not meant to love only once; there are many great loves in our lifetimes, and they all show us something.