Broken Boulder i can't tell if the want justifies the need

alarian's expression makes him wince -- what must have shown on his face to inspire such sudden self doubt? guilt surges through him -- he pushed himself too hard too fast and now alarian will bear the brunt of it -- and he pulls back a little bit, searching for his eyes. "no!" he says, a little too quickly in his haste to be reassuring, "no, no, it wasn't bad, just -- just kinda awkward, yeah?" after all if his expression has already been read he might as well pursue honesty here, even if he's still afraid of it hurting them -- he'd rather alarian be hurt by the truth than by something he thinks is worse. 

hesitantly he reaches out, pressing a featherlight kiss to alarian's scarred cheek. "like i said, too many feelings," the chancellor offers, hoping the self-deprecation will ease some of the tension that's taken up in his .. lover's form.