Redsand Canyon Like you held onto Light

Got the song 'blinded by the light' and 'I saw the sign' equally in my brain now due to the ending of this post

Donovan was right in saying that in dying, Hemlocke would find no redemption. He would not be able to go good for the world, to find purpose in his life if he were dead. Still, he was at a constant battle with himself. He didnt know what the Gods willed of him, if anything at all. Hell, he was still yet young and after his mother's death whilst he was a yearling Hemlocke had become hopelessly and horribly lost. 

I just thought maybe the world would be better off without me. After all why would the world ever need an Antichrist?? I long for forgiveness, but I dont know if the Gods will ever hear my plea. If they will never, maybe to die is what they would rather? A religious man he was, which now be known. Just saying well F the Gods was not an option, not for him. To do so would be to become what he strove not to be. But how could he ever know the Gods will if he had no signs? 

Maybe he did. Maybe being here was already a sign but the young man of such self loathing did not see it. He was blinded by it as he was equally blinded by the light.