Ouroboros Spine xlvvi. ringing in my head, when you broke my chest

The more he spoke, the more she was sure that something awful must have happened to him. He was not the man she remembered, not by a long shot. Not the man who had spoken with her about learning to paint, bringing her colors to experiment with -- the pale shadow reappearing to speak of home, of the spirits, of life. Not the man who had walked the trails with her, admiring each other's skill in tracking and hunting despite their differences. Definitely not the man who had given her this home and offered to help her fill it with their children's laughter, paint its walls. Not the man she had known would be so proud to be a father, the one she tried to make proud when she thought she had lost him forever.

But what was even harder to believe was that he could be so callous, so disregarding. He'd called their child defective...and it didn't even seem to phase him. Worse yet, Adrastus patronized for her anger at hearing him call Ink such a horrible thing. He didn't even see how hurtful that was, to her and their pup, or care what he had done. He almost seemed annoyed that he had hurt her feelings. She had grieved him, waited for him, for months and gone through her pregnancy alone -- now all he could do was criticize the children she had birthed and her ire at disrespecting them? 

She watched him settle down, feeling dread curdle in her gut as adrenaline spiked in her bloodstream. She nearly snorted. If he thought she would be an obedient little wife and take it lying down, he didn't know his wife very well. She had left that behind long ago.

The Gamma didn't bother trying to reason with him or explain, didn't even bother to speak. It was obvious he wasn't going to listen. 

She tipped her head back and howled, summoning anybody who would answer to her aid. 

She moved between him and their children again, lying down herself and curling around the babes once more. She did not fear that he would hurt them nor take them from her side -- they were too young to be without her warmth or milk. "Keep your den. Keep your food -- we did fine when you were gone." But whether he would hurt her or not, the dove couldn't quite answer, especially with what she was about to say. It didn't matter what he did to her, she reminded herself -- though she trembled anew, an old muscle memory maybe, ready and waiting for any pain that might come. He wouldn't hurt them. He might be able to drive her out if he hurt her enough but the village was coming. They had been reluctant to allow him into the territory as it was; if he did attack her, they were likely to chase him out. That alone might hold him at bay. 

"The others will help me move them to my old ulaq next to Kukutux's. Stay away from there until you can learn some manners."

She had been wrong in assuming his death alone would destroy her. It was this that would, however it ended up, already she longed to be far away from him -- secluded in the silence of her former dwelling and its cheery walls with her children, where no one could hurt them. Where she could break down and mourn him all over again without the fear of a judgmental sigh punctuating her pain.

i know that this is an older thread and the ranks have changed somewhat but gonna go ahead and tag everyone following this development. @Kukutux @Shikoba @Sialuk @Foxfur @Aventus @Kigipigak