Whitefish River level up

After talking with @Syrma about leaving the pack, the thought had grabbed hold of Spica entirely. Not long after Speedy became leader, which was pretty ironic considering Spica had literally suggested that she should be to her twin not long before. Crazy. But however much she felt her mother deserved it, this also made Spica feel like there was less of a place for her now. Her mother had yet another thing to occupy her mind and they had never really made amends for her suddenly going off to have pups. Which made Spica feel very much like her mother still thought they were the stupid ones and she was the righteous one.

When she awoke, she was huddled up next to Syrma close to the comforting rush of the river. Hey Swym? she poked her twin awake with a nose to the shoulder. I think we should do it. It didn't need saying what she was talking about, exactly. Let's go right now, her shining eyes told.

The rains lately had put a really damper on everything. Thanks to it, the river had swollen and creeks were practically bursting. It was all of this that unfortunately, kept her close to home in the recent weeks. That meant almost strictly in her sister's company, per her usual--occasionally making an appearance otherwise, carefully ducking their newly minted leader-mom's presence.. just as Spica had foreshadowed. But really, it didn't change much for her. Not in the grand scheme.

Anyway, at her sister's poke, she blearily roused. First she lifted her head, and began to process what it was Spica had said. Blinking off some sleep, she was catching up and processing this. Of course, the idea of them getting out to see the sights of the world had not been far from her since they had discussed it. All the constant raining had also effected that actual progress, though. Now that things seemed to have quieted down, weather-wise, she could greet the temptation in full. Yeah? she asked, sounding groggy, but quickly making her way into understanding. Mmh, we could go north? Maybe? she yawned, and straightened herself a bit more without getting up. Like.. could see if we could find that faerie pack Caw told me about to visit.. or somethin', she put out for a suggestion. Hopefully they wouldn't have to run into Acheron out that way, like last time they had gone out scouting for something interesting.

Syrma was barely awake, but that wouldn't stop Spica from throwing her endless enthusiasm onto her sister. Now that she'd made up her mind, Spica literally could not wait to get going. Her sister was the more practical of the pair of them and actually considered where they'd go. Spica had not even got that far. She figured they'd just start walking and let their paws lead them wherever. It didn't matter, because they'd be free! The less plans the better!

But she didn't oppose going to a faerie pack because that sounded really cool. And if they didn't find it then surely they'd find some other thing. Faerie pack?! she said, sounding super excited. Then, with a grin: You son of a bitch, I'm in. Her tail waved as she bounced around Syrma until she got up, resisting the urge to tug her ear playfully to try and get her up. There was only one unfortunate thing they needed to do first, which was telling their mother, but she wasn't about to let that ruin her mood.

LMAO

Even in her sleepiness, Spica's enthusiasm about this was not lost on her. Quick to absorb some of it for herself to get going, a slow grin crept across her features when her suggestion was met with very excited, very contagious vibes. She snickered with a big nod, for even without launching into the details about Caw, the ravens he shared with, and the other little pieces she had picked up, just calling it a faerie pack was fascinating enough. Definitely worth a look and everything felt a little brighter suddenly with Spica on the same page.

She started to get up onto her paws, playfully nipping towards her twin when she sprang near as she did. It was only a start of a heading, and maybe something to give their travels purpose even if it was not everything she wanted to see out there. Just a fraction, and a teeny tiny one at that. Plus, she thought that it sounded better to explain if they had some vague idea of what else was in store beyond--not just oh yeah we're goin' out there to wherever which was the case to a large degree, sure, but this gave it some backbone. Sounds good.. now we just gotta tell Mom, yeah? her grin faltered a bit, though the slow wave of her tail stayed. She eyed her sister as if to say you ready for that? She was getting there herself.. maybe.

Even in all her petty sourness over everything of lately, she didn't have it in her to just leave without any word whatsoever. Like even a quick howl would be good, but something deep in her told her she should do a little better than that. She didn't want to hurt her, really, but it did kind of dampen her mood to think of the ensuing possible meltdown--despite knowing in her heart that this was what they wanted to do! They had schemed this up all on their own and put a bit of thought into it, so why not? Best to just get it over with, though.

Syrma was thinking pretty much exactly what Spica was thinking, which wasn't a big surprise, but still somewhat down-heartening to think that yeah, now it was time to tell their mother. However, after they underwent telling mom and watching her break down and cry in front of them, at least they would have the world to themselves. Spica couldn't help but wonder if maybe things'd be less tense and easier if they were out on their own and just.. visited a few times a year rather than lived here all the time, with the burden of all the expectations that came with that; expectations that, so experience had shown them, were impossible for them to live up to.

Yeah, Spica said with a roll of her eyes and a look on her face that said not really ready for this, but we've gotta. I just hope she won't make a super huge deal out of it and act like she's never gonna see us again. Spica at least certainly didn't intend to leave forever... But just for a while, and like, they'd visit and stuff, eventually. Maybe their mother wouldn't see them for quite a while, but hopefully that wouldn't make her freak out about the concept of the twins leaving nonetheless.

Let's go find her, said Spica with renewed confidence and she nodded, face serious now. And so they set off to look for @Speedy. It wasn't a hard bet where to find her -- probably 'round where @Mohe @Malila were usually playing, too, if she wasn't too busy with her big new leaderly duties. While they went there Spica couldn't help but say, By the way, mom becoming a leader? Totally told you so! Well, not literally maybe, but enough that Spica would flaunt that she predicted the future. With a playful grin she added, Good thing you're bringing the world's top notchest psychic along on this journey, eh?

Now on her feet, it was time to get going. She stalled long enough to shake her fur out one last time. Yeah. I'm just hoping for the best--somehow, she sighed, and stuck her nose up in the air for a huff. She tried not to dread what was coming too badly but if nothing else, at least this was getting it done and over with. If she thought about what could be afterward, it seemed a little else awful.

Anyway, Syrma replied first with a laugh-scoff. Of course! She hadn't disagreed that their mother deserved to be a leader. Didn't mean she liked it all that much, but that was neither here nor there. It did mean they only had to explain themselves once. Another step closer to getting on with it. Yup, allll the more reason that this is the best for us! she chimed, snickering, and happy to try to keep the mood light before facing their mom--who was the next, big, determining factor in this. Thankfully Syrma had kept her distance from the pups mostly, so didn't have a lot of issue with leaving them behind. Maybe she'd like them better when they were older. For now? No thanks. So, does the amazing psychic see lots of adventures for the wonderful twins after this, hm? she asked. Wonder what else is even past the faerie pack.. she wondered aloud as they made their way. That was just the beginning, and feeling it be closer than ever made her step a little lighter.

So far, she didn't see anyone. Scents were getting stronger and the twin was keeping her sights peeled as they went.

Leaving her youngest children with their father, Speedy had set out to do her usual things: check her plants, search for new plants, check on packmates, and so on. Most days, she wanted to seek out the twins and see how receptive they would be to hanging out with her. She always hesitated, though, not wanting to push herself too much on them. Things seemed less tense lately, but they definitely were not the same.

But today when she caught their scent nearby, she decided she would at least see what they were up to. She followed the trail along the river, her ears eventually picking up the sounds of their talking. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she knew immediately it was them. 

She trotted over to the twins once she finally found them, a gentle smile on her face. Hey you two, she greeted as she came to a stop in front of them. Are you busy? I was thinking you could help me look for some plants if you're up for it. There the invitation was out. She hoped they could spend some time together like old times.

They were both hoping that their mother would take it well. They had never really patched up the broken bonds. Sure, Spica visited sometimes and she would play with the baby siblings sometimes even (wasn't their fault that their parents were dumb), but she had never really had a good heart to heart with her mother. It wasn't that she absolutely didn't want to. In contrary, Spica thought often of the day her mother would come to her senses and apologise to the twins. It was just that Spica wasn't going to be the one to apologise, because there was nothing to apologise for in her book. Where she felt a wedge between her mother and herself, Spica felt ever closer to her twin (if that was possible at all).

Aw yeah, we're gonna have so many adventures! Spica said with a wave of her tail. Who knew what was past the faerie pack, but it was up to them to check it out. Have you ever been to the ocean before? That's gonna be a sight to see!

It wasn't long after that question that Spica picked up the thickening scent of their mother and she felt a nervous knot in her stomach. Spica glanced at their mother and said, Hey. Her voice was neutral, almost business-like, and lacked her normal aloofness. Maybe if Spica was a bit more selfless or socially subtle she would've taken the invitation and they would've casually talked about it during a walk where they'd gather some plants. But as it were, Spica didn't even consider that at all; she instead cut right to the point. We kinda are, actually. We uh - we need to tell you something. She glanced at Syrma, then at their mother, hoping that she'd take the news well.

On hearing a favorable outlook for their adventures to come, she grinned to herself because good! They absolutely deserved it. No I haven't seen it yet, but I want to.. so we should probably stop by there soon too, she answered quickly about the ocean, really glad her sister brought it up first actually. It had been on her to-do list, but it was yet just out of reach. Not for long, though. There were suddenly so many new possibilities.

Anyway, her expression sobered pretty quickly when they found Speedy. Syrma stood strong beside her sister, quick to affirm anything she said--didn't matter what. To continue on, she said her piece next. Yeah, and we want to let you know we've thought about it for a while now and want you to take it okay-- she paused for a deep breath and a second to keep going: But we want to go see more places, too... she said, her confidence all fluffed and mustered for that moment though deep down, she had to feel a little bad to launch this right now. Right after her mom's promotion, too, and Spica's also. But.. she was greedy for her own experience, and wanted to do it with her sister, regardless. Anyway, she waited to let her mother digest that much before added on to what needed detailing. Surely, something, but between the two of them, she hoped they could weather this quickly.

Speedy's eyebrows drew together as Spica explained that they were busy and that they needed to talk to her about something. Her mind filled with all the possible things they might need to talk to her about; she hoped they weren't in some kind of trouble, although if they were, she would do her best to figure it out for them. 

Her gaze moved to her other daughter as she spoke, relief filling her when she stated they just wanted to explore more. That was something she could definitely help with. It's only natural that you are starting to grow curious about the outside world, she explained with a loving smile. I can take you guys out to explore whenever you want. Or, you're old enough to explore on your own, if you'd like. I can tell you about some places you might like. Speedy was clearly missing the point. Kaistleoki can always use more scouts if you decide you like exploring. Her gaze moved form twin to twin as she waited to see if they might want to explore with her or on their own. She knew things were still off between them; she was under no delusion that they had just magically forgiven her or that they would accept their brother and sister like she wanted them to, just like that. But she did hope they might give her a chance to fix things.

When Syrma mentioned that they needed to go out and explore, Spica nodded quickly. They were as strong as they'd ever been; truly a force to be reckoned with, and like her sister, Spica would back up anything Syrma said. She looked in anticipation at their mother, who didn't even seem all that stressed out at all. If anything, she looked... relieved? Spica blinked in surprise, but she soon found out that it was because Speedy hadn't realised what it was, exactly, that Spica and Syrma were trying to tell her.

Oh no, Spica thought while their mother said that she could help them explore and mentioned that the pack could use more good scouts. No, she quickly said, her wit leaving her in the cold. She knew how to deal with most anyone, but their mother was a different sort of thing. We mean, we gotta be on our own - leave the pack. For now, she wanted to add, but she bit back the words. She didn't want to give their mother too much hope, didn't want to have her pining for her daughters to return. Yeah, maybe they'd be back some day, but maybe it'd just be a visit, and maybe not at all. We have to figure it out on our own. They were at that age, after all, where they wanted to explore and figure out their lives. Spica hoped that her mother would understand, but she couldn't help but feel nervous (though she'd never admit it, not even to Syrma) at how their mother might respond to the news.

For an instant, she had the impression that this was going better than expected. Yes, it was only natural! They were not out of bounds with these feelings and just almost, the yearling felt the want to nod. But.. her ears splayed out slowly as it dawned on her that maybe, this was going so nicely because their mom didn't see how serious they were. Oh no.

Then Spica picked it up and tried to set it back on track. Okay! That was good, Syrma bobbed her head at that too. On their own, not with the pack--not guaranteed. It sounded pretty fair to her, and didn't leave much room for misunderstanding. As she waited to see what Mom would say to that, Syrma was terribly quiet, pinning Speedy with a stare she tried not to let waver with all of her might. Not now, not at the last step here. She wanted to prove they were strong, had each-other's backs, and deserved this. There had been a lot of them not seeing eye to eye anymore, but on this.. she just wanted their mom to know they weren't doing this just to be jerks. It wasn't like that.

Please understand she willed.

When Spica spoke again, it was to clear up what she had apparently misunderstood. When Speedy finally realized what they were telling her, it was like there was no air in her lungs for a few moments. She said nothing at first while the weight of sadness settled heavy in her heart. Of course they would want to leave too—just like Acheron had. He had assured her it had nothing to do with her, but she still suspected it might, and it seemed more likely with the twins with everything that had happened. 

She wanted to beg them to stay—promise that she would make things better for them, but she knew she couldn't do either of those things. They were old enough to leave and she could tell this was important to them, so she knew she had to be supportive, no matter how much it broke her heart to know that they would be gone and without the protection of the pack or the safety of home. She drew in a long breath to steady her voice. I see, she said first. Of course. I did the same thing when I was your age. And she never went back home. What if she never saw them again? The thought was enough to break her composure, so she quickly banished it away for now. Just promise me you'll be safe out there, she said, forcing a small, reassuring smile. It can be dangerous. She knew that all too well. And make sure you come back and visit at least. I want to hear about your adventures.

Her expression grew more serious. I love you two, more than anything. No matter what, she offered softly, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. She wouldn't stop them from leaving, but she did want to make sure they knew they always had a home here. And you're always welcome here. She nuzzled each of their cheeks if they allowed it and then stepped back to let them to speak.

Spica's mind basically went like aaaaaaaah!! while they waited for their mother's response. Syrma said nothing, and both of them waited with bated breath. Spica found it hard to read Speedy's face; was she hurting and trying to hide it, was she totally okay with it, or was she going to burst out into tears any moment now? Please don't cry, Spica thought to herself. It'd been heart-breaking last time mom cried, and while she loved her mother, she just knew she'd have to break her heart even more if she did end up crying. After all, she had resolved before this meeting that that wouldn't stop them from going.

Eventually the relieving words came. Spica realised only then that she'd been holding her breath the whole time and she breathed out as Speedy said that she understood. Her saying that she'd done the same at their age actually made Spica pretty curious, because it was one of the first times she realised that their mother had a whole history before them, that she'd been young once and all that. However, Spica decided against asking about it now. She'd ask some day, when they'd see each other again, when she'd visit, yeah.

Thanks, mom, Spica said with a couple of subconsciously-spurred tail wags. Speedy then said that she loved Spica and Syrma, which warmed her heart. Even though they hadn't been on the best terms, Spica totally loved her mother (and their baby siblings, though she'd never say it out loud) and she was glad that they wouldn't have to leave on bad terms now. She could see that their mother was emotional, but she decided to just peg that on loving them so much and all that.

It was always good to have a fallback scenario, so she smiled appreciatively as Speedy said they'd always be welcome here. Spica glanced at Syrma with a smirk, as if to say it's going so well! She then said, Thanks, mom. We'll totally visit. The excitement was rising up in her body now that she realised that it was really about to happen - they were going to strike out on their own and discover all sorts of new places! Cool! Say hi to Emrik and the little nerds for me, Spica said with a grin, of course meaning @Mohe and @Malila. She thought of saying good-bye to them in person, but they were probably a bit young to understand where she and Syrma were headed and besides, she reaaally wanted to get going now. She looked at Syrma to see what her sister had to say.

It felt like such a fine, tense line then. Syrma was all sorts of anxious over what was to come, but as Speedy replied to them, some bits of relief could finally come to be. Now they were getting somewhere! Still, this was far from over and in the rush of everything else going on for the moment, she didn't make time to think too deeply about the fact of her mother having done the very same in her time. More justification just kept coming, bolstering her. Of course we'll be safe, and we have each other too. the twin reassured, her bright eyes serious because she believed very strongly in what they could do together.

Then, next thing she knew, it was pretty much handled. No major backlash, no total disasters.. nothing but acceptance, and maybe some understanding that she was very thankful to see. She then looked to Spica, excited and so absolutely ready that she could barely contain it.

Thank you, Mom. the yearling breathed. For understanding. For letting them go, and keeping a place for them to potentially return to at the end of the day. Love you too... she said quietly when Speedy reached to nuzzle her, which was accepted. Syrma splayed her ears, despite the racing of her heart. She was sad to have to make this goodbye, but it was for the sake of bigger things. And we'll see you later. she added before she moved to nudge her sister, then started to turn off and away. Her own eyes were starting to sting so she had to get out of there fast--and there were very exciting matters to turn her thoughts towards from here. After the last parting words were given, she tipped up her head and was on her way.

<333

She smiled at Spica. Of course I will, she promised. Emrik would be heartbroken, she was sure, but he would also understand. Malila and Mohe were a little young yet to full grasp what this meant, but Speedy would make sure they knew who their older siblings were. 

Both daughters thanked her, but no thanks was necessary. She knew this was something they needed to do, and she wouldn't stand in the way of their growth. After all, it was her responsibility as their mother to make sure they grow up into self-sufficient adults, and now they were well on their way to that. As sad as she was to see them leave, she was just as proud of them for taking this step into their adult lives. She would miss them, and she certainly hoped they would return to check in, but of course, she wouldn't hold it against them if they didn't. 

She watched them leave, sitting in place for a long while as the tears fell freely. She hadn't wanted to cry too much in front of them but once they were gone, there was no use in holding the tears back. Eventually, she would get up and go find her mate to inform him of the twins next adventure. She silently prayed to the universe to keep them safe, and then turned to leave.

Bye, mom, Spica said and she nuzzled the side of her mother's face lovingly before taking distance to let her sister do the same. Then she turned to her sister and said, I'm grabbing some last things, catch you at the northern border! and she trotted off, ready to collect some of her last things (or at least look at the small collection of childhood prizes she was leaving behind), have a last drink, and say good-bye to Whitefish River for the last things. Even though she hated to admit it, even Spica was sentimental, after all, and it was a huge thing to leave behind their childhood home to follow their wandering paws.

Feeling oddly nostalgic and a little melancholic, but mostly overtaken by a wild excitement, Spica set off, ready to sort her last things before she and Syrma would take off to scout the world.