The Sunspire the world forgetting, by the world forgot

 

theme

the girl climbed silently and hopefully undetected up the tallest pier she could find in the sunspire.  the night was chilly and cloudless; stars shone bright and vivid against the dark skin of the night sky.  it was beautiful.  and it hurt.

oh, did it hurt.  it was a grief that had settled comfortably in her chest only to stir black and ugly as tindome settled in the vale next door.

she kept her nose drawn to the sky, seeking out artemis.  seeking out superfun coconut.  she had no intention of coming home.  a striking plume of breath escapes from her lips, hitching and strained.

---

...a girl washes up on shore with no identity of her own. she falls in love with a prince of moonbeam and starkisses and their love is fleeting and childish for they are children.  she builds her life around him.

autumn turns.

there is a side of her prince that is so dark and cruel that even the sun cannot burn on it; she is sent tumbling and cold as winter passes.

a girl.  a girl with fur as inkdark as the hurt that strikes through her chest reaches out a and caresses her shattered body with care.

she tends to the broken heart with tentative hands and as soon as it starts to open, she disappears...

---

it hurts.  it hurts.  it hurts.  it's the only emotion coursing through her as she steps stiff and sure towards the ledge.  soon, it would hurt no more.

 

 

@Olive and perhaps @Forrest

It wasn't luck, Forrest had decided; there was a reason why she kept being put into these trying situations. In the short three months that she had existed in the wilds, the elder had been responsible for more lives than she had intended. Joining the Sunspire, Forrest had intended to retire; Liffey and Olive's litters were going to be her last. After this season, she was going to recline and let nature take its course, stress-free and without commitment.

It didn't seem like life had the same plans.

The girl was dangerously close to the edge, in the same way that the pup had been. The difference was that he'd been playing; that child had been innocent and unsure, whereas the young woman who Forrest was watching seemed very aware of her situation. There was something that the two of them had in common, though: neither the child nor the adult understood the consequences of their actions.

For a moment, Forrest was frozen, but instincts quickly kicked in. Rose? she cooed, taking slow steps forward, I was wondering if you could help me with something.

The stars always drew her upwards. Olive could not forsake her desire to climb for long, despite her knowledge of her delicate state — and under the guise of late hours, she pulled herself towards the heavens and sought to say her sidereal prayers, personally, to each and every aurora and illumination that dusted the sky. She had missed them so. 

It became apparent during her accent that she was not the be alone that night. The druid did not see the others as much as she felt them, and for a moment, Olive questioned whether these beings had a physical form or if they were simply smatterings of energy across the canvas of the universe. She had a tongue with which she spoke to ghosts and apparitions, after all, so it would not have been the first time. These things were not strange to the sylph.

But, eidolons they were not! They were very real and tangible: three shewolves, alike in the hue of their pelage but not in age, summoned by the gods to serve some karmic purpose. The misted druid strode forward, not wishing to startle either Forrest or the girl who teetered upon the precipice — she recognized that dangerous line, for she too had once danced upon it —  and her tongue flicked out to taste the air. Sadness. Contrasting the weighty-ness of her heart, Olive’s eau-de-nil gaze softly bounced from Forrest to the girl she knew as Seabreeze, allowing Forrest to work her craft. The empath figured that, when it was the right time to contribute, she would just know. The balance, for now, was so finespun and fracturable.        

just do it.  she stares up at the constellations she was given and she begins to cry.  

rose? comes forrest's voice from behind.  her heart catches, then rams up behind her throat and pounds behind her eyes.  she wheels around, gasping, and her back foot slips off of the ledge before she is able to rest it at the edge of the precipice.

rose?

that's not her name.  her name is — 

... aerlinn, her prince purred from his moonlit maw, his tongue smoothing over the warm flesh of her ear.  he ran his body down the hollows of her own, testing her ...

... brienne, said burke, trying her birthname.  she worries, trembling and fretting, until he decides he likes her well enough.  she wanted him to like her ...

... thunder roled.  although dawn had broken, darkness still loomed over the horizon.  a dense thicket of fog clutched the bay, and the silhouette of a young girl washed upon the sands.  seabreeze, she said later, introducing herself to rannoch as he accepted her into the biggest ride of her life ...

— did it matter?  she had lived a thousand lives side by side.  she was one and many and nobody all at the same time.

i was wondering if you could help me with something?  i can help you fracture your soul, i can help you destroy yourself.  swim to me, i will throw you against the rock.  come to me, i can help you hurt.

what? she spits instead, gripping at the shattered remains of herself with trembling fists.  this woman did not deserve her ire but she could not contain herself — it caused her self-hatred to multiply tenfold.  i can help you hurt.

her gaze turns frightened and dangerous, her limbs trembling beneath her fragile frame.

For a moment — a terrifyingly crowded moment — the two of them were alone. Forrest thought that if she breathed wrong, her rose might blow away petal by petal before she even had the chance to plaster her back onto the stem. Her heart was racing in her chest, her throat, her temples, but experience taught her better than to let this be known to anyone but herself.

Olive seemed to appear soon after, silently manifesting herself on the rose's opposite flank. Well, you see, Forrest began, eyes darting to Olive to see if she might want to take a swing at things, I need your help, and I think you need mine. Will you come help me, please? There was nothing for her to go off of, and because this young woman was too grown to fall for childish tactics, Forrest was at a loss.

The ghost upon the cliff was not swayed easily. Silently, Olive played audience to the sequence of emotions that ran across Seabreeze’s features, but the sylph did not experience a reaction of panic or fear. No, if Olive understood anything, she understood this — the desire to fade so far into nothingness that she, herself, became nothing at all. In a word filled with so much pain and uncertainty, death was final. absolute. blissful. A life can only sustain so much pain before it is simply… not worth living anymore.

But, if Olive understood only two things, she knew this also: just because something’s seductive and tempting, that does not make it worth pursuing. This was true in many cases; especially so, when it came to self harm. Olive found that distractions helped until the worst of the gloom passed, in many cases — something to live for. Olive swallowed thickly, then opened her mouth to speak and found she was unable to. Instead, her gaze, passive and stelliferous, held those of Seabreezes’ in unspoken solidarity. 

I see you. 

After a moment’s quiescence, she found her voice, low and lilting. “We need your help, because…” Her attentions flitted to Forrest, wondering if the next thing she were going to say would be the right thing. “because I am to have a litter, soon.” but, as soon as she had said it, Olive couldn’t help but wonder if this had been the whole reason she conceived — to coax this woman off the ledge with the promise of babes, thus preserving another life; one life was not yet meant to depart, the likes of which the word had not seen the last of. Olive took a drawn step towards the tormented wastrel, being careful to leave a large buffer so that she did not feel corner. “I… I cannot do it alone.” All her gestures were supplicative and her demeanor, beseeching. It was neither a fabrication nor a farce. It was the truth.  

Oh. That was one way to do it.

As far as Forrest knew, Olive hadn't even told Rannoch yet; either Seabreeze was incredibly trustworthy, or Olive was incredibly naive. Neither of the two mattered much, so long as it got the pale child away from the cliff and back into safety. She looked over and met Olive's gaze, clearly surprised by the sudden announcement, but supportive nonetheless.

It wasn't Forrest's place to speak, given the shift in focus, so she just stood and waited for what was to come next.

oh, how she hated it!

regret spilled off of her in waves, down her cheeks and onto the rock below.  she had been this close to missing it.  and at once, she did not feel as if she was useless.  this was not the king elk forest, this was not tindome.  she could learn from these women.

she took two tentative, stiff steps towards the women beckoning her forward.  where was the father of these children?  had he perhaps abandoned olive, too?  she almost hoped not — that these children were not the fabrication of some such tragedy.. but it did stir something within the young girl.

she had so wanted babies of her own this year.  this was not only a chance to learn as a midwife, but to care for them as well.

it was as simple as that.  seabreeze just needed to be wanted, she needed to be needed, she needed to be loved.  she crumpled, falling to the ground in a broken heap and i'm sorries were forced from her choked throat.

The scene that played out after her unceremonious announcement was exactly for what she had hoped: Forrest did not react, and Seabreeze retreated from the cliff, emboldened by the auspicious promise of new life. It was such a difficult thing, to experience such profound sadness — but, it was also a difficult thing to witness someone else experience profound sadness. There was so little that could be said, and so much Olive wanted to do for the girl… but the ashen druid figured that would have been more of a self-soothing endeavor anyways, and did not wish to coddle herself at the girl’s expense. All she could do was to hold space for this soul, so needing of love, and aid in giving her something to live for.

The rest of that shitty personal growth, the kind that felt like it was tearing you apart in a million different directions, that was a journey Seabreeze could only go through on her own. Unfortunately, Olive was not able to explore within the woman’s own mind and help her ride out the vicissitudes of healing, so Olive would have do so physically. Silently, Olive vowed to be at Seabreeze’s side every step of the way, if she so wished. Her packmate sister? would not have to go through this — whatever it was — alone. 

When the girl had crawled far enough away from the precipice that she was no longer in immediate danger, and had crumpled into a sobbing heap at the feet, Olive padded ‘round back the crying form and settled into a big spoon position, hugging the girl tight. A glance and a grimace was spared to Forrest, still quite uncertain if this was their best tactic, at least until the moment of crisis had passed. “They are too little to feel…” she cooed gingerly, letting her nose brush the downy fur of Seabreeze’s ear and pressing her still-willowed figure against the girl more tightly. “but they are there, and they need you.” At this point, Olive certainly hadn’t enlightened Rannoch of her condition and she figured having the support of her fellow midwives might soften the blow. If it both helped her and Seabreeze’s current situation, then it was a double-win and certainly not a bad thing. “So, yes, you will? You will help me — us?” at this, Olive lifted her chin and gestured fondly to Forrest, showing that she was in solidarity with them; a type of closeness you find from letting someone see the worst parts of you, and allowing them to love you anyways. With gentle rousing, both Forrest and Olive were able to bring the torn Seabreeze to her feet. Then the midwifery trip moved inland and down the Sunspire, never to forget the events of that night.