Redhawk Caldera Where you wanna go

Pantaleimon felt a sting in his heart when Wildfire asked for him to elaborate, because it made him feel like what he wanted was, indeed, unreasonable. Maybe it was, or maybe it would've been better if neither of them had brought the subject up at all and if they'd just let things happen. Then again, it was no secret that Pan and Fox weren't exactly best buds; they just didn't seem to understand each other at all, and Pan often felt like an invisible blip to Fox. Like he was Perry's pet hamster.

Realising he was over-thinking things again instead of just answering, Pan swallowed and said: "I dunno, I... I guess I'd like to be a parent too, and I thought I'd sort of be a parent if Perry had pups." Pan sighed and ears splayed uncertainly as he elaborated: "Perry thinks it'd be better for me not to be with him, but I... I just love him so much. I wish he'd see that that's the most important thing for me." Yes, it would hurt to not even be special fairy godmother/-father or some other fancy something to the pups, nothing more than anyone in the pack would be, but at the same time Perry was the light of Pan's life, and it hurt him more than he cared to admit that Perry was driving him away because he thought that not being with him was what was best for Pan. Pan swallowed again, and it felt as though it sounded really loud and awkward, as he looked at Wildfire and said: "Gosh, I - I'm sorry, this has to be kind of weird for you to talk about." Apologetic eyes looked at Wildfire; now it was Pan's turn to feel sheepish.