Phoenix Maplewood there was an empty space in the shadow beside you

no, it was wrong to even linger on her wants, her worries. she must suppress them, somehow, for without doing so she risked failure, and there was no thing more distasteful to the girl. perhaps, in order to escape them, she would only have to throw herself into this, into Adi and leadership and the path before her. for a moment her mind lingered, to the red-moon night and her father and his mate. 

there was apprehension in her chest, and an odd nervousness in her chest as she moved forward to press against him as she had seen Catori press against her father.  "no buts."  she stated this clearly, breath leaving her to coil thickly with Adi's own. were not her father and Cat happy? and was not Catori much like herself, or at least she thought; and she had found her happiness beside Grayday, her predetermined future? she moved up to nibble softly at his ear, echoing the movements of Catori, in a way, but not the emotion that had moved her to make them. 

she was moved by a desperation to disparage her worries, and find the same sort of acceptance that her father and his mate had - let him think it was lust. her heart quickened and her movements were made wary by pressure and same heaviness - let him think it were naught more than nervousness.