Dawnlark Plains What does this mean?

"I'm fine." she stated, looking between them both. pema and I were talking. she felt some sting at the words, and his smile, at the feeling she was being sheltered. then pema began her lengthy spiel, and now the sting returned, some sharp prod at her heart. so they'd discussed this already, forged her role. if she didn't feel so hollow, she would have said something, would have had time to deal with the sharp-toothed thing that stung her.  "I know who my father was. what his passing means" she didn't need Pema to try and explain the yawning hole in their ranks, in the pack. 

"of course I'll step up. I should have done so earlier, as soon as I'd returned."  there to was guilt, for leaving her post, for not claiming it again sooner. "I'll lead the hunts again. with Sunny gone, and Shale as he is, there are hardly enough hunters to sustain three whelping mothers." here was what she'd held in that day they'd returned. it was easy, to force her mind and body to hunt, to work, if only to avoid the grief.