Arrow Lake when all the things under the sky go free of time

he expected her indigence - as she had always reacted so emotionally to his criticisms - but he did not understand her reasons behind it. when she had noted that he didn't understand, it was because it was true. he believed nearly the same thing, that wolves could not be controlled, but that was exactly why they needed to be let go of. that was exactly why she didn't need to be out here searching instead of being at lost creek - since she so righteously thought she was steadfast.

and he wanted to say all of this - the judge and jury, stiff-backed and cut deep - but she dismissed him with a flick of her comically short tail and all restraint in him cracked at the sight of her turning her back on him again, and again, and again... no, this wasn't love. not on her end, anyway. because indra wasn't capable of saying goodbye to the ones she loved. that much she had made abundantly clear. she still thought he was trying to control her - when the only one actually controlling her didn't care at all how she felt.

"why must you forsake me?!" he burst like fire hydrant, howling; the furious pressure expending from him quickly. "you just could never bring yourself to trust me!" he snarled, spilled, and lamented. lurching after her; his heart stuttering; his throat seizing; causing him to still, trembling and suddenly exhausted from maintaining an unaffected mask for his entire life.

feeling an abrupt need to lie down, the warhound crumbled to the ground - lying tensely on his knotted belly, and dropping his head like a stone into bottomless well between his forepaws - as his howl had diminished and he whimpered hoarsely (to himself): "i only wanted you to trust me."

he didn't know how long he lay there, but every second in her absence would feel like eternities yawning before him, and he would simply have to get used to the intensely slow feeling of freefall, now perpetually in his gut, one way or another.