Ouroboros Spine mitappuk ⊯

whoops, other IC events messed this part of her timeline up too. rather than edit again to write in Adrastus' dispersal, I'm just gonna pretend this happened shortly after The Thread and Lote doesn't yet know that Adrastus has left or something like that lol. we can try and wrap this one up if you'd like for continuity. :) (also, the thread where she asks lote to marry aiolos & kukutux/or maybe it was just aiolos? but that thread they have open now lol, im also just gonna play it as if she doesn't know adrastus is gone yet. we might have to have another updated thread later on where lote says yes after realizing she can stay in moonglow and all. I'm so sorry for all the confusion as i figure things out IC!)

  

the doe's lips curved with a grin -- faintly proud, that of an aunt being regaled with tales of a sister's little ones. she had seen the twins in brief snatches but it was kukutux's nuclear family who usually helped to look after them in their youngest days. similarly, the gamma's litter was still largely dependent upon her and the two clutches of children had not had a chance to meet the other nor their extended family at great length. even so, lótë felt she loved them already -- so often did she think of them, so long had she anticipated their arrival and the chance to know them. it seemed only days ago -- and yet, also years -- since the two had been lazing about in the sun and murmuring over their swollen bellies. 

"that's great," she smiled, gratified that her friend had such a good support system -- that she had not suffered what lótë had. "anytime you would like to go to your spirit places or take a walk, anything like that, i would be happy to keep an eye on them -- or even if sialuk or aiolos might need a break too." she was happiest surrounded by the children. it was easier to forget what had happened for a time and they all had a way of sweeping her up in their carefree, colorful worlds where laughter came so easily. 

when the duck edged delicately around the subject of adrastus, the cloudberry's face dimmed ever so slightly. it was not that her sister had inspired the pall that stole the glimmer of life from her thin features but as if the façade of being fine slipped just so. she felt ready to speak about what had happened -- doubly reassured that kukutux would not judge her, knowing that her own daughter had been touched by the spirits.

"i was in shock, i admit, but i was happy to see him. angry too, that he had been gone so long -- even though that was dreadful of me. i knew he'd gone to hunt down the fox-pelted woman who conspired with nuak and he suffered while he was away. so, i tried to keep any ill feelings at bay. i was just happy that he was home -- or trying to be."

she swallowed thickly. "i bade him come and meet his children and for one, perfect second, he was proud -- or maybe i only imagined that. but when i told him of inkalorë's differences, he claimed that they were defective. he wanted to know how visible their genitals were," here she could not help the way her ears fluttered in time with her rising blood pressure, nor how her lips twitched as if they desired to pull over her teeth at the very thought. "he thought we would be better off raising ink as a boy."

"his expression did not change much when he looked upon wilwarin -- for she is rather tiny and weak. she fights for every breath she takes but i do not know what sickness plagues her. she does not even seem sickly. just small, frail." perhaps it was simply that the dove was too small and had carried too many, maybe it was all that she had undergone during her pregnancy. or mayhaps it was nothing more than genetics or the spirits' will.

"now...i hope that he will find the strength to ignore the influences of others. that he can be a father to his children. but i don't think i can forgive him. my heart has hardened like rawhide left in the sun." she wanted only that her nestlings should be okay on the other side of this. that she could be enough for them, alone, should adrastus fail to let go of his prejudice.

"he has soured the meaning of 'husband' and 'wife' as moonglow knows it. he thinks he can claim dominion over me simply because i have taken his name," a rattled breath of revulsion escaped her, bile rising in her throat as her eyes sought the trees for a moment. did he hide there even now -- a monster to join her uncle in the visions of the night?

"i will be lótë baptiste no longer."