Emberwood swallows circling with their shimmering sound

@Akuti

There was something he trusted about these woods. There was foxscent present, but that was their biggest worry. All the other live spores were left by rabbits, chipmunks, grass snakes, pheasants - all harmless animals. The evening birds called out to each other as they settled in, creating a sort of lullaby for Grayday and his small family. The kids had all fallen asleep without trouble, something that Grayday considered a miracle, at this point.

For some reason, though, he could not settle. Leaving his brood just within the treeline where they'd laid down to rest, the father padded out into the open and sat down to peer up at the stars. There was little to see and even less to admire, but something kept the wayfaring male looking up at the sky.

There was nowhere else for her to go. Akuti was out on her own in the unclaimed wilderness, lingering apprehensively in that same expanse which she had first entered through. Gradually, she managed to move farther North, though for every step forward she took two steps back. 

The night sky twinkled above her, even where she stood beneath the high reaching branches of trees towering over her. Akuti sighed as she looked up at its immensity, wondering who else might be watching those same stars. A wing blew past her, carrying several scents on it, though there was one that stuck out the most: Grayday. There was a moment in which she shook the thought away, certain that it was only her imagination playing cruel tricks. Akuti sat there, antsy and anxious before standing and tracking down the drift.

As she drew nearer, she could see the brute sitting in the open, left by his own devices. Approaching silently and slowly, Akuti was unsure of what to say, so she settled on saying nothing at all.

You've cat to be kitten me right meow, he thought to himself, ears swivelling uncertainly, attempting to find evidence to back up the claims his nose was making. And she was quiet, but the grass swished around her as she walked, and some of the crickets that'd been kkiirr-iiching behind him suddenly grew silent as she passed.

He didn't know why he'd doubted it. There was no mistaking her scent.

"I was worried about you," he admitted, still not turning to see the woman. There would be no point - not in this light. Besides, there was still a part of him that kept on believing she wasn't really there, despite all his hope and conviction that the opposite was true. It would be better, he thought shrewdly, for both of us.

Akuti stopped in her tracks once Grayday's voice broke the air. It became clear in that moment that she really had not thought this through. You must not know me then, she replied with a slight smile, though there wasn't much more that she had to offer. Taking a step forward, Akuti gulped and tried to make eye contact, but it was something about how familiar he looked which kept her from looking into him as she would have preferred. Maybe she thought that being able to match his eyes to his would make him seem smaller, less intimidating.

Or maybe, it would make him real.

I've been wandering. Its nice to see someone I know.

She came up beside him, finally corporeal and present and comprehendable. His head twitched in her direction, eyes catching the glint of moonlight off her eyes. "Same here," he returned, tearing his gaze away to keep from getting captured by the sight of her. Even if there was nothing to see, he so badly wanted to stare.

"We left Easthollow," he told her, not sure why he would phrase it this way. We're going back, he reminded himself, it's not forever. But he was no longer sure he believed the words. It was a good life out here. A tired and often scary one, but a good one. And it would get easier as the children grew into adults. It would get easier as they grew to know each other, grew to rely on no one but themselves.

And it would be easier with Akuti travelling with them.

The male tensed at this thought, and then - unable to help himself - turned his whole body toward the smaller wolf. I'm sorry I hurt you was on the tip of his tongue, but the words would come out of his mouth. I'm sorry I let you go.

Nothing seemed right. Grayday kept quiet, waiting for Akuti to take the lead. He was shit at stuff like this anyway, always saying the wrong thing, making the wrong choice. They both were, sometimes.

Really? There was a genuine hint of curiousity behind her voice. As far as Akuti knew, Easthollow was his forever home, and she couldn't see him anywhere else. Then again, there was a lot that they still had to learn about one another. And God, did she want that chance. As Grayday turned to face Akuti, she took the chance to really look into his eyes and examine what they were saying that his mouth couldn't. Rather than filling the air with words of her own, she took the opportunity to place her snout gently under his own and snuggle into his chest. 

Grayday had every right to push her away of course, though she hoped that he would allow it. I'm sorry for leaving, she whispered. It occured to her during her journey that perhaps she'd done the wrong thing, and that it would have been better for her to stay. But once she'd left, she knew she couldn't take it back, so she'd spent her time locked in a sour state of guilt.

Nothing appeared to be the right thing to say, because Akuti stepped into the silence and settled against his chest, and an ache whose presence he'd been denying began to ease. His breath came out in a whoosh of relief, surprise, trepidation - and he settled down to rest his chin against her head, marvelling again at how everything just fit with her, at how it couldn't be his imagination, his denial of reality - how it couldn't be that. Not again.

"I'm sorry I let you go," he replied, his voice made gravelly by emotion. "And for everything else."

His heartbeat - quickened by her arrival and then by her sudden proximity - began to slow once more.

A wave of relief fell over her as she began to feel Grayday relax around her. Don't do it again, dummy, she began, backing away slightly so that her head was tilted up and her snout was near touching his, I'm one in a million. She gave a playful laugh and a wide grin as she placed a paw gently over his. Promise you won't let me go, and I'll promise not to leave. Akuti liked the way he made her feel, inside and out, and though they had only known each other for a limited amount of time, she knew better than to give something like that up.

It wasn't a cold night, but the breeze suddenly felt like needles against his skin, and she was a column of fire against his throat, the outline of her body somewhere between high fantasy and the most sobering reality he'd ever known. She spoke sweet, teasing words, and he laughed, but part of him was still screaming inside. That he was. That he couldn't. That he would.

"You are," he replied, because he'd never met anyone like her even if he didn't count her ethereal appearance. She was one in a million, but he was still a dumbass. He was still in love with Adeline. His heart was still pulling him in a thousand different directions. But Akuti was there beside him, warm and sweet-smelling.

"I won't," he murmured. "I promise."

It was too early for him to know whether or not this was a lie, but there was a sick, sinking feeling in his gut as he spoke the words. Grayday tucked his nose into her fur and breathed in her scent, hoping to dispell the feeling. Gradually, it began to abate.

I promise, too. The smile on her face fell to a look of solemnity, for she meant this promise to him more than anything else that they shared. Akuti took a deep breath and managed to snuggle her way back into his embrace, albeit more so than before. There was something about the way that Grayday held her that made her forget about all the bad and focus on the good. It was as if he had some sort of hunky hunk magic which managed to quell her anxieties and fears.

So its settled — I'm coming with you. Where are the children? In her mind, she thought that it would only be the four of them, though she would soon find that this was a very wrong assumption to make. She peered around Grayday's form to send her eyes dashing across the scene, looking for any sign of their tiny bodies in the moonlit eve.

"In the trees, but don't wake 'em up. I only just got them settled," he warned, now wondering how his children would take the renewed presence of Akuti - as well as thinking, distantly, that Steady would not be happy when he showed his face back at Easthollow with her scent mixed with his. His sense of uneasy trepidation increased, but Grayday studiously ignored it, instead focusing on replacing the scent of aloneness that covered Akuti's pelt with Eau de Grayday.

There are other reasons not to wake the kids, he found himself thinking as he rubbed his jaw and throat over the back of Akuti's neck, still trying to cover her in his scent. Those thoughts were hard to chase away, but he knew better than to try and get busy with his kids (hopefully) sleeping only a few dozen yards away.

A few small laughs managed to sneak through Akuti's mouth as Grayday rubbed against her. There was something about him that made her feel at home. It was as if somewhere in that big ol' trunk of his, he was hiding a den for just the two of them and waiting for her to take her seat. 

But I wanted to see them, she complained before raising an eyebrow and giving a more suggestive look, But I suppose being alone isn't really a bad thing, now is it? Then again, she didn't know how she felt about being tackled by Daddy Gray with Sunny and Dawn in earshot.

That was only one of the trials of being a parent, but luckily, Akuti liked Grayday just as much as she did his kids. How have they been? She'd thought a lot about them since leaving. Of all the wolves in Easthollow, they were a couple of the ones she liked the most. In fact, they were part of the reason why her heart broke even more as she took her finals steps over the border.

Grayday hadn't really know that Akuti had any sort of relationship with his children. He knew that they'd met, of course - she'd told him as much by calling him Daddy Gray. But the male assumed that his children had never interacted much with anyone apart from Krypton, Adeline, or Steady's two charges - though he supposed, now, that it'd been silly to think such things. His two troublemakers had probably been off talking to bears and cougars while he'd been away.

"Just stay with me for a while," he whined, wanting to keep her to himself for a few moments longer. He was glad when she seemed to cave, but still attempted to trap her in an embrace to keep her there. He tackled her (as she'd feared) and tried to bully her into laying beside him, though he gave her ample opportunity to pull away.

"They've been good," he replied, tail lashing. "Happy. Excited to be out and about. Insufferable as ever."

Akuti gave a slight yelp of mock discontent as Grayday overpowered her. She took his invitation and laid down beside him, making sure to take advantage of all the warmth he offered. They must take after you then, she joked in response to his comment about the un-bear-able habits of children. Part of it made Akuti a bit remorseful, as she often wondered how her own pups were doing. They must've been as big as she was by now, or if not, then they were surely talking already. She wondered if they knew her name, or if she was just another spirit blown away by the wind.

Of course, she would never share this with Grayday. Instead she licked at his chin, showing both her affection and submission to him.

They did; it amazed him, sometimes, how little of their mother he could see in them. It made him glad, on most days, but there were times when he wondered how they'd be if Amber had stayed. Of course, Krypton had probably made a better mother to them than he could ever have asked - they didn't need anyone else.

"They must," he agreed, unthinkingly and not really understanding what she was referring to. How have you been? he thought to ask, but the words never made it past the edges of his conscience. Instead, he gave a contented grumble as she licked his chin, pushing his face more fully into her personal space to request more of the same affection.

Akuti, always a tease, turned her head away with Grayday's silent request. She worked to keep her eyes trained on his, for something in her hoped that he would say whatever it was he had on his mind. If he had anything, that is. Akuti thought that she could read people well, but there was something about him that kept up this strange aura he'd managed to cloud himself in. Perhaps it was all for the better that some things remained unsaid. 

You're doing good, Day. As a Beta, as a father, as a friend. Akuti knew what it was like to get down on yourself, and she wanted him to know that he was doing just fine, as far as she was concerned. And though she wanted more from him than late night cuddles and moonlit talks when no one was around to hear, she was fine with it if it meant he would stay for just a little while longer.

His grumble turned into a playful growl when she turned her head away. The male followed after her, closing the small amount of space she'd put between them to cover her face in sloppy kisses. Perhaps as punishment, but perhaps out of desperate affection. If there was anything on his mind, it was not the sort of thing he could put into words - more of a mantra put together from instinct and feeling. Anger, loss, need. Anger, loss, need.

It coursed like blood through his body, and ache soothed by moments like this, only to become all the more painful when those moments ended. But like the starving creature he'd become, Grayday had learned to take what he could get. It was not something that he thought of consciously, but rather, a knowledge that he'd hidden deep within his psyche.

So he didn't know why her words made him so uncomfortable. Not exactly.

"Maybe," he said, at length, his voice a bit gruff. He wasn't sure how he was doing. He felt good, certainly. Or did he? It was hard to tell with Akuti so close, but he thought that, in the moments before her arrival, he'd been in a fine place. Shouldn't he be in a better one now that she was here? He thought so, but when he tried to feel it, there was only a strange pit of nervous energy in his belly. "What about you?" he finally asked, seeking to draw the attention away from his own (complicated, worrying, frustrating) situation. "Are you okay?"

The affection shared between them was sweet and jovial, as if they were each enacting some sort of rebellion by being in the other's grip. It brought a sort of rush to Akuti's heart, sending it into a frenzy of flutters. I think I'm okay, she responded quietly, as if what she was saying was so intimate that it would be a sin to allow it to fall on anyone's ears but Grayday's. There were moments in which she was more okay than others, and some where she was so low she couldn't even see the stars. But she made sure to remind herself that it was all a part of life, and moments like these only solidified her previous notions.

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive.

It was hard being alone. Sometimes she thought that she had made a mistake. Other times she was able to remember that an unwelcome home was better than welcomed solitude. Although things were harder without the support of a pack (she had been surviving on rotten carcasses and sour beetles), it was her own deeply rooted perserverance which kept her going. I'm glad that I've found you again. I was beginning to think I'd never be able to-, to feel your breath or hear your voice, to smell your scent in the thick shield of fur, to find someone who would keep me company. I was a little paranoid out here on my own.

He pulled back to stare intently at her face as she spoke, his ears pushed forward upon his crown to catch every word. The uncertain quality of her voice echoed something deep inside him, and called on the protective nature that'd always lived in skin and bones. She'd been afraid, and she needed him to protect her.

When he thought of it in these terms, it was much easier for Grayday to wrap his head around her place in his life.

"I'll keep you company," he said after a long moment of silence, his voice strangely uncertain even after all that she'd said. It was an offer he extended toward her, and not an assurance he placed upon her. I'll keep you company - and she could say no.

But he knew that she wouldn't; that they would keep each other's company, now. The knowledge thrummed through the lonesome male like the waves of the ocean, crumbling the tall cliffaces that'd become of his neuroses. She was not the answer to all his problems, but he thought that, perhaps, a partner in all this might be the first step toward balance.

Okay, she whispered. He was assuring her that he wouldn't go anywhere, and whether Grayday meant it or not didn't matter. He'd said it, and that was more than enough for Akuti. Okay. Now content with where things had fallen, she took the time to rest her head against his chest and allow his heartbeat to lull her away.

Grayday did not know how long they laid there, dozing in and out of peaceful half-sleep. Several times, he woke to the sounds of hunting owls or chattering foxes, but his children were big enough now that Grayday no longer feared they'd be taken by night birds, and the foxes gave the scent of wolves a wide enough berth.

Twilight found them curled and rested, soon to be awoken by the excited chatter of the kids.