Hushed Willows And I hope that you'll remember me,

Her soul was on fire. She held her head tall and firm, a wetness streaking through her flaming pelt, but she marched on through the mud and rain. Only been gone for a few days, and now she was back. By the border, and entering with a confidence raging through.

Deadset on what she came to ask, Orlaith howled for @Lumiya.

Pelt soaked yet spirits high, the fae was practicing her jumping. She did it onto trees, over rocks - she wanted to increase her agility for hunting, as she noticed that the more slippery prey often outmaneuvered her. It was a good thing she was taking a break when the call rang through the forest, and she was quick to trot in the direction of Orlaith.

"Lumiya." The girl said, greeting slightly with a calm voice, but hiding the eagerness she held within. It was like a popping of embers, she only wanted to say it out, but tried to remain calm. She needed her point across, if she demanded something, there would be nothing out of it.

Orlaith needed to prove something.

"Do you remember when you recruited me? Promised a position in the court, the lead of guards?" It was the one thing the flaming fae wanted, a simple position ontop of them. It had taken while for them to form, but here they were- finally a full team, with Lumiya, as their Queen.

"But, it doesn't feel like it," but no. There was no guards, and only pure disrepect. She remembered Memory quite clearly, who refused to bow despite claiming the leadership so. Then the cougars, who refused to respond because she held simply no power. The refusal she couldn't speak at terms, because she would mess up as a simple guard, "Memory.. The cougars.. The meetings.. Everyone."

"I have a request."

Orlaith stood tall, a determined gaze to the Queen.

When the fire fae greeted her, Lumiya was expecting an update on outside situations - perhaps another run-in with a saint, though she'd kept quiet about her own... But no, it wasn't to be. The fae looked confused... She'd never promised anything of such matters. The one thing she remembered promising the other was to not cast her out like the old court had. Her desires had been kept quiet, and Lumiya had only approved the idea of the Honeyed Sabers. True it was that Lumi herself thought of Orlaith as their leading guard, but the position was never granted formally nor announced by the fire fae herself.

I promised to not cast you out upon recruiting you. The fae queen corrected. She'd not spoken of a lead guard, not aloud.

I approved your idea of the Honeyed Sabers - I've trusted you with the court's safety in my absence. She listed. It was true that she herself did most of the talking, as she was the best scholar - the best leader they had. Their duties were different, and Orlaith was far too aggressive to hold the peace in this realm the way Lumiya did, she thought.

At the announcement of a request, she rose a brow expectantly.

 

"I want to be an equal." She said, staring the Queen in the eye, "I want to be an equal beside you." She was tired of no one listening. In the end despite trying to rain a rule, to keep a peace, nothing would matter if she didn't have a title behind it. The cougars refused to listen to, continuing to demand a Queen, and then there was Memory, the same way.

She could not do much without a question behind, and a laugh toward her actions. Because she was just a guard.

"I want to be a Queen- not to take over your realm, but to hold a title, of respect."

To seek power was the way to corruption. From desire came longing, turning into obsessions and anger and - eventually - a snap. Orlaith's motivation seemed to stem from wanting to be heard - wanting others to do as she told, as if she could not achieve this without having a title among the Crowned. She was hot-headed, quick to anger, unrefined. It was no wonder no one listened when all they heard was screaming. Lumiya did not take her crown because of selfish reasons; her main motivation had been to create a haven and restore peace and balance to the realm - the peace and balance her family had destroyed before the Saints who now spread terror. If she were to lose it all tomorrow, she'd not mourn the lack of title, but the destruction of a home, of peace itself.

A title does not earn you respect. The queen answered, shaking her head. Sometimes it felt like she was an elder, speaking to children. You think others respect me, simply because I am called the "Faerie queen"? If so, you're mistaken. A title grants you nothing but identification and responsibility - it's a weight upon your shoulders. If it is power and respect you seek, I cannot grant it to you. Though the other was older, it was clear who the wiser one of the two was.

"Do you think  I haven't done anything?" Orlaith snapped at the Queen, her fangs curling out, "who guards the borders every night? Who answers border calls? Who protect your realm?" She had been so stressed and exhausted from it all, the constant feeling of their willows being attacked. And she, the flaming guard, coming forth.

"Who makes sure the right wolves come in? Memory, right? I knew he wasn't good, yet you still let him in." And she judged those who were coming forward. The Queen welcomed all with open arms, but in the end, not all were good for the court. He was one, but many could come in the future.

"And yet, I do all that, and I still can't get the respect I deserve. In the end, they always call for the Queen!" She felt disrespected how Lumiya treated her so. She saw the words as something that Orlaith did not have respondsibilties like the Queen has. However she firmly believed, she worked just as hard, "My word means nothing unless there is a title to back it up!"

"You believe everything can be solved by words, but sometimes, that is not the case." Especially looking upon to The Saints, where everytime Orlaith met, she fought. The words they speak mean nothing with the actions they have caused, and in the end she treats them the same way.

The fae remained calm, like a mountain not bowing no matter how hard the winds blew. This was exactly why she did not want Orlaith to rule beside her as queen; she had perfectly demonstrated why she was unfit for such a position. She shook her head, disappointed. Though she wanted to point out that she did border work tirelessly and was perfectly capable of protecting her haven by herself, she knew such things would fall on deaf ears - like most of her advice did. It was sad, seeing Orlaith slipping away to the dark, simply because she demanded respect she hadn't deserved yet.

I will not argue with you, Orlaith - you have done good, your duty in fact, the one you took on when you pledged yourself to the court. It was always better to list the positives firsts, for if one started with the negatives, they would tune out whatever else you had to say. You are valuable, you don't need to put others down and force them to respect you to prove it. You scream and scowl, and others will dislike you for it. You are a Faerie, perhaps already the most important rank we have. She explained with a soft sigh. A leader was only as strong as the ones she led. That meant that, if Orlaith thought of everyone as below her, she'd never thrive as queen. They'd end up hating her, replacing her - the very thing she had wished to avoid when accepting Lumiya's offer to stay.

Though you may disagree, our words are a symbol of intelligence, of reason. I believe they can solve anything. And she'd proven it, almost, with Donovan.

Orlaith laughed. A sad, long, laugh, "I scream, and I yell, what else is there to do? They don't listen unless you are Queen, you're fucking majesty." Her temper had gone over the edge now, as the words that was spewed sounded like the other 'valued' her, but didn't see the way she saw it. She was a guard, protect to the willows, but how can one protect, when no one listens to a commanders words?

"I could've even get one to look at me without the title of a ruler. Even with talking! What do you expect me to do, when words fail as well?" That's how it felt. Whenever words failed, she would resort into violence, because no one else listened otherwise. Orlaith had a voice, that was never listened to- it was how she felt it was.

Even if she didn't have the title of Queen, the flaming fae- no. She didn't feel like a 'faerie' anymore. She wanted something to prove her worth. "Alright. Then you protect the borders with you words."

I listen. She answered softly. Orlaith was proving all her points, thus she sighed. This was going no where and it would continue to go no where as long as Orlaith felt so angry. But how to calm her down - stand there and take the beating? Wait till tears started spilling and the seams became undone? Dante was much better at comforting, at least in her eyes.

I expect patience, professionalism. You lack both, even now as you stand here screaming at me. She spoke calmly, with a stern expression. She was doing playing sweet - this blow-up wasn't funny anymore. She'd seen all she had to to know Orlaith would never rule beside her. If this was how she talked to her leader without even being an equal, the thing she wanted, then Lumi didn't want to imagine how bad it would get if she were to be made queen.

What are you going to do? She asked then, unworried.

"No, you don't." Orlaith said, holding her disdain, "if you listened. There would be more warriors, more protection, and not others coming in freely." She still held bitterness over Memory. She didn't know who originally brought him in, but there was the factor he was allowed to stay. Then there was the thought of Kincaid, who simply was allowed in without a thought-

the borders were far too open.

"And you don't understand my worth." Orlaith tried so hard, she wanted to guard the fairies, the borders, protect the realm. How she did before- the respect she wanted. However, it was never there, anything she would say, would be given with a side-eye, with a question. She could not simply lead the warriors, how she wanted so.

She just wanted a rank to follow what she had done! It didn't even have to be Queen- but there was nothing else besides so.

"I'm leaving."

"To find somewhere that will value me."

The queen sighed. It seemed Orlaith didn't even know what the court was all about. It wasn't an Empire - it was a haven of peace. Everyone she'd let in had sworn to provide, anyone that wronged them would see themselves banished. The concept wasn't hard to grasp, but perhaps Orlaith would be better off in something resembling a military.

Look - everything you're feeling right now, though it is real, you shouldn't act upon it. Calm down, have a drink... I have an offer for you in the morn' if you stay to hear it. Was she not the one that gave everyone a chance?

"You think one morning will change anything?" She scoffed at the Queen's attempt to calm down- the usual. However, she was of fire and ember, the rage was neverending. She still held the endless grudge against The Saints, so why would she back down on this, "I was gone for a few days. Thinking about this y'know."

It was laughable, and she did laugh, "no," The wolf said, "I think we are done here." Talking was not her fortune, and was not something that would simply change in a matter of seconds, minutes or even days. She felt hardened, and resolved, despite a heavy rain that swelled within.

With that being said, and a heavy heart to her feiry heart, she was.. Done. With it all, and ready to set out. Somewhere, not with the fairies, and somewhere, she can strive to be something she so desired to be.

Very well. She was sad to see the other go, but it was no one's fault but Orlaith's own. Perhaps she really was no fae - and was she not one to encourage finding yourself?

Just know that the offer would've approved your request - differently then you might expect - so do not blame me for your own ignorance. The words were not angry, just saddened slightly. I wish you all the best, Orlaith — and know our doors are always open... It was her goodbye, yet some secret hidden part of her heart wanted to believe the fire fae would return at last. Perhaps not in days or moons or years... Just, some day.

She didn't believe Lumiya, and only huffed at her ploy, "You say no only to say yes the next day?" It was laughable, and felt shameful for it. It's teasing something she couldn't have, only to decieve and pull the cards on a later date. She didn't like how deceitful it felt, how disrespectful. It was like she trampled on her pride, and near feelings. The courage to work this up- the feeling of being powerless..

Orlaith felt saddened. The pain visibly broke onto her face, that she had to turn around, and away from the fae.

"I respect you as the wolf I once knew, but not the Queen you've become."

Then, she runs. It was too much now.