Ocean's Breath Plateau When I'm no longer useful you would secretly throw me away

@Kendra (・∀・)

Although he had promised himself that he would venture back to the grove, a detour had been taken. From the woods, he had not turned and ventured back to search for his companions but had instead gone a different way. It was towards the coast that he’d found himself traveling, the path having been familiar—up until he’d branched off and went a different way, his legs carrying him towards a location that had never before felt his paws on it. The longing to see more of the world had led him that way, as had the fear of returning to the grove and discovering that he’d once again been abandoned. Xan hoped to find them again, to find that he’d simply been missing them whenever he’d sought them out, but couldn’t help but allow doubt into his mind. He doubted that they had decided to hang around, he really did, he just wouldn’t acknowledge his thinking that way.

Alexander had traveled in a different direction from the one previously taken, but the end result had been the same: in the distance, he could see the light reflecting off of the ocean’s surface. He’d grown to like the sea, the sight of it having unknowingly awoken some ancient instinct within him. Having come from a long line of wolves that used the sea’s creatures as a source of food, he’d been drawn to the coast ever since he’d first visited it, though this he’d yet to realize. The only downside was the salt, which seemed to infect even the air the closer one got to the water. He’d been reminded of it as he trekked across the plateau, every gust of wind blown his way having been tainted by the bitter breath of the sea. No matter, he’d done his best to ignore it and proceed across the land, intending to look out over the water before having to return to the grove.

Kendra's main priority was to get food for herself. It was a tough thing to do for a female that couldn't really hunt. Her nose was getting used to the saltiness of the air. The female used the tide pools to get a meal. The fish that would get stuck in there were easier to catch, still they could sometimes slip under a rock, meaning she couldn't go there. The dark colored female had quite a few scrapes on her nose. Though they were all very shallow.

She looked far skinnier than she ever did. She was not in her normal shape, a healthy one. It had been more often that she had to lie down and rest. Often she wondered if she would wake up or not. Somehow that didn't seem like the worst way to die. Kendra had just gotten a crab almost skillfully bit off the sharp graspers and chewed on them with loud crunching. Her tail swayed gently glad to have this snack.

It’d taken some time, but he’d eventually reached the shoreline. The tide touched the sand and then ebbed away again, sometimes depositing small gifts from the sea as it went. For a moment, he’d fallen into a trance, trapped by the scene before him as it spoke to some ancient instinct. What he had intended to find by examining the water was something he couldn’t figure out, yet still had he continued to look. Though it’d felt as if hours had passed, there had truly only been but a few second allowed to tick by before his attention had been pulled elsewhere. From the corner of his eye, he’d spotted a dark mass, towards which he’d turned his head in order to better assess the form. The discovery that it was a wolf had left him frozen in place, the fur along his spine bristling. Although the gap between them was small enough for him to notice the lankiness of her form, it was large enough to prevent him from seeing that the stranger was a female.

Unable to see that the wolf was not a male, he couldn’t relax knowing that someone else was there. A point had been reached at which he understood that not all were terrible, but he still couldn’t risk it. The only thing that made him feel a little less on edge was the size of the other; Alexander felt confident in his ability to overthrow the dark mass should it come to that. Sucking in a breath, he began to inch forward, muscles tensed and fur standing on end.

Kendra was quick to wolf down the meal, not wanting to give it to anyone. It was only when she swallowed it that she noticed a big white wolf coming towards her. Kendra battered her pale eyes at the approaching figure. The dots on her brows raised before she decided to run. In her eyes this male was big and coming towards her perhaps with the intent to hurt her. But as she dashed away she instantly noticed that the energy her meal brought her was dwindling.

She stopped and lowered herself to the ground. Kendra hadn't been around wolves much, she met with a few wolves. She decided that if she showed submission the male might leave her alone. Her social skills hadn't really improved. She had no clue how to deal with strangers. She rather wanted them to stay strangers. If she only realized that this male wasn't a stranger to her at all. The female lost her confidence while being alone.

Noticed, he’d frozen in place the second the mass’ head had turned towards him. She was still a ways off, but something about what he’d seen had left him with a sense of familiarity. Confused, he’d intended to take another step forward, but had ended up taking several after witnessing the form dart away from him. What had encouraged him to give chase, he’d not been entirely sure, but he’d done so anyways. Over the plains and towards the wolf he’d gone, his legs refusing to stop moving. The faster he’d gone, the more the wind left a stinging sensation against his skin, until he’d noticed how the stranger had stopped moving. Slowing to a steady trot, he’d closed the distance between them and then rounded her, his tail—which had been risen up over his back—dropping the second he’d seen her face.

An array of emotions flickered across his features as he’d recognized the girl laying before him, the dots of her father having stood out to him. It’d taken a moment longer before he’d been able to match her facial features to those of the girl he’d known what felt like so long ago but, once he had, he’d been unable to look away. “Kendra?” the yearling questioned, his voice hardly above a whisper. She had left him, just like so many others, and yet… he couldn’t feel any anger towards her. “Why’d you run from me? Don't you remember me?” Question after question flew from his mouth as he’d stepped closer to her, his body no longer tense. For the longest time he had hated her, but said time could no longer be remembered. All he could recall at that moment was how they’d stuck together through the famine, and how she’d then vanished without a trace.

The big strong male chased her. His chase turned unto a trot. She saw the dominant signals and wanted to hide even more. However there came a great chance in the male, and as he came closer Kendra recognized his blue reddish eyes. When he recognized her too it was more of a confirmation to her. Kendra let out a squeak, and her tail started to move behind her as Xan spoke. It was really Xan!

As he asked why she had run from him, Kendra couldn't contain herself anymore and rushed forward with little whines until she was nestled against him. Her head tipped back and licking under his chin. She was very happy to see him. As hesitant as she was before that was how pleased she was now. Kendra was not good with strangers, and having a few failed pack attempts didn't make it any better.

She closed her eyes and rested against him, which was probably not a lot of weight seeing that the female was really skinny compared to her well fed body he knew. "You are really here!," she whispered and took in his scent. "I do remember you," she added softly. Though that was after the fact that he had approached her so dominantly.

The wagging of her tail had surprised him, adding to the overall uncertainty he felt. He knew who she was, and vice versa, but so long had passed since they’d last seen one another that he couldn’t help but wonder if she was the same as before. When she’d rushed towards him he had tensed up, unaware of what her intentions were until she’d nestled up against him. And the second her tongue had touched his chin he’d relaxed, realizing then that she was still the same girl he remembered. Slimmer, yes, but her external changes hadn’t seemed to have altered her internally.

Alexander hadn’t moved, allowing for her to rest her body against his. His tail had started to sway behind him, his happiness over having run into her undeniable. He’d become content, too, when she’d stated how he was remembered. Despite his joy, he couldn’t keep himself from asking, “Where’d you go?” One day she’d been there, then the next she’d been gone. Her disappearance had bothered him, but he’d never thought to search for her back then; much had happened following her departure from the woods, which had kept him preoccupied. Still, he’d never forgotten her and had hoped to himself that he might someday see her again.

Tilting his head downwards, he’d looked her over for a second or two, noticing just how different she looked. “What happened to you?” he asked, his words lacking finesse—which wasn’t anything new. “We need to get you something to eat. Haven’t you been eating?” The fact that the scent on her body was solely her own hadn’t registered within his mind just yet, and so he’d assumed that she’d found a pack to stay in. To think that she wasn’t being properly cared for irritated him, but, for now, he’d held himself together.

Kendra could hear the sadness in his voice. She had left him behind. She wanted to find the light when she went away from Blackfeather. She was on the edge of losing her sanity. Perhaps she still was. The dark girl looked over Xan. Her mission of getting to know how to be light had been put aside as her need to feed was stronger. She had to keep herself alive, and she slowly became a recluse. Now she thought about her 'mission' she didn't feel much for it. She was not sure what to with her life.

"I left because I did not feel at home anymore. My father was evicted and called a traitor. The man that cared for me and was the only one of my blood that was still alive. But that was not enough because he chose his new family over me. I could be saved. But what if I could not? I had to leave. I was suffocating." Kendra inhaled soft and stayed snuggled against him. She couldn't deny that contact with the male felt wonderful to her. So warm and so comforting. He didn't smell of Blackfeather. So only the good memories of them together resurfaced.

"Well, instead of suffocating I realized that I am not the best hunter," she spoke. "I tried joining a pack but there were new rules and distrust. I couldn't handle it. Pride kept me from returning. Fear also, fear to be reminded of the past," she explained. She kept latched on to him. "I survived. I eat crabs and fish stuck in tide pools. Not much but it kept me alive."

The suddenness of her disappearance had hurt, but never had he been given a chance to properly feel it. So much had happened, one bad thing right after the other, that it’d been pushed into the recesses of his mind. Now that he was there with her, however, everything resurfaced and hit him like a sack of bricks. She had been his friend—despite how awful he’d been in the beginning, and how much he had despised her, they had become friends in the end. Kendra was, perhaps, the first friend he had ever made, which had made her departure hurt even more. He couldn’t help but wonder what his life would have been like had she never left the woods, but his mind wouldn’t provide for him any visual aids. Perhaps she had been meant to leave, maybe they both had so that they could grow as individuals. It was an idea, but one that he’d ignored in favour of focusing on her reason for having left so long ago.

As it was explained to him, he’d been able to understand, but that hadn’t lessened his pain. Still, the better half of him knew that it wasn’t her fault, and so he’d tried to swallow down his emotions. “You could have told me how you were feeling,” he’d said, the attempt at keeping his voice even failing. “I could have helped you, I could have been there for you—you could have at least told me you were leaving before you actually did…” The fact that he hadn’t really been around back then hadn’t even crossed his mind. He couldn’t remember where he was at the time, and so he’d made the wrongful assumption that he’d been right there in the woods, waiting. Of course, that wasn’t the case, but one's memory was a fickle thing.

A sigh blew passed his lips as he listened some more, partially distracted by the feeling of her body against his own. With a shake of his head, he told her, “You shouldn’t have to live off of fish and crabs. You should be eating the best of the fattest carcasses.” He’d give anything to be able to give her just that, but Xan was no fool. Arrogant, yes, but not stupid. To target any large game by himself would be a suicide mission, and he wasn’t about to let himself be killed off and leave her to fend for herself again. “You won’t leave again, right? If… if I stay here with you, I won’t wake up to find you gone someday?” he asked, needing the answer far more than he thought he did. To help her, to get her back to looking how she once had, was something he wanted to do—but he didn’t want to be left behind again whilst doing so.

Kendra listened to Xan and she could tell that she had hurt him by leaving. The girl did not think that the other would have hurt with her departure so much but then again she might have been wrong. The girl slowly nodded. "I could have, but memories are vague. I don't think you were around at the time. I don't know, I don't like to think of it but there were reasons I could not come to you," she spoke. "My intentions were never there to hurt you, Xan. I was perhaps selfish. I'm sorry."

Kendra shrugged. She couldn't really hunt those fat carcasses on her own. She was pretty sure she had no clue what to do even with a pack hunt. She never liked running too much. She liked to dwell in one location most of the time. Kendra could most definitely chance that location to Xan. "I won't leave. I don't want to be like my father," she spoke to him. "I promise. I will just make you my home," she decided and tried to muster up one of her first smiles in a long time.

She apologized, and his ears fell flat against his head. He had wanted to hear of her departure prior to it, but nothing could be changed now. The past was the past and he needed to accept that, that way he could move forward. Still, though he knew this, it was difficult. It could not be forgotten, the fact that he hadn’t been there enough to better support her, but history could be kept from repeating itself. This time around, he would be there. As a friend, for sure, as well as whatever else she might need him to be. Eventually, the hurt would fade away, the space it currently occupied destined to be filled instead with positive memories and experiences. “You weren’t selfish,” he told her, unable to drag her all the way down with him. She hadn’t been selfish, or at least he didn’t want to think that she had been. Something had kept them from seeing one another, and that was that—there wasn’t anything more to it.

History would not repeat itself. She wouldn’t leave, and he wouldn’t be left all alone again. When she spoke of making him her home, his heart stopped for a split second, both the words and his body’s response having taken him by surprise. The reaction wasn’t one that he was familiar with, and it left him feeling puzzled, but he’d not dwelled on it for very long. Instead, he smiled and said, “We can be each other’s homes.” Homes that, he hoped, might never disappear. Not again.