Broken Antler Fen Do the coal walk

She sniffed along the border.

There was talk that they were to move. She didn't mind. Lilitu had never had a strong affinity to a territory— but she hoped they were doing it the right way.

She stood at the edge of the fen, and then turned.

@Ukelele was who she called to, voice not exactly insistent but indeed inquisitive. 

What was going on? Where were they going? She'd follow Maia anywhere, but the vague details of all else threw her for a loop.

The rumour of moving to a different place had been in the air for a while. It did not cause Lele any particular distress, because by far her stay at the fen had been the longest one she had ever been in one place. So in the light of the change she kept on her daily routines, waiting for the order. 

More often than she thought it proper her mind returned to the little Raven Teya. She found she genuinely liked the girl out of all packmates the most and would love to spend more time in her company. She greatly disliked her mate Reyes. And deep inside she knew she was not fair to him, that jealousy of him was the real reason, but she did not wish to look in that mirror of truth yet. It was easier to think of him being the evil, good-for-nothing one. 

Someone called her and she was glad for the distraction. Curious she walked to the borders and met Lilitu, who had recently returned home. "May I help you with anything?" she asked her politely.

She smiled at the sight of the young woman. Hey, Ukelele, she greeted, tail swishing behind her. They had made each other's brief acquaintance during her last stint here, but like others, the face that appeared now was only that—an acquaintance.

Lilitu had been quite remiss in knowing the wolves she shared this territory with.

I was looking for some company, she continued, gesturing toward the border. And wondering if you knew any more about this big move we're apparently making.

She began to head slowly that way, waiting for Lele to catch her up before increasing her pace.

"Oh..." Lele replied, unable to decide, whether she should feel flattered or overestimated in the "good company" department. So far most of her encounters had been awkward at their best. But if a companion was that Lilitu desired and with nothing else better to do, she joined the girl for a walk, waiting patiently for her to start to talk. 

"Is that such a big move?" she asked, thinking about caldera, which to her standards was just right around the corner. No distance at all. "I don't know anything beyond that. But, why bother - people move all the time," she added, casting a glance at her, as if quietly pointing out that the young girl too had been gone before.

She'd meant it more as a jest, but it made her think—no, she supposed the caldera wasn't so far away. That's where she'd run into Fox, after all. And it lightened her spirits to think of it, for perhaps she'd run into him again. That would be nice.

That's true, Lilitu replied, shrugging. Still. . .I remember moving around a lot as a kid, and this was the place we were supposed to stay.

And Mama would stay here, forever.

She glanced at Ukelele. How many places have you lived?

"The only thing you can take for granted is that things change," Lele shrugged, thinking that "we were supposed to" sounded kind of a childish argument coming from an adult. But she also reminded herself that she should not be too judgmental on the matter. She knew nothing about the girl's past and could speak only of her own experience. 

"Plenty that I lost count at some point. My family never used to stay in one area for too long," she told her. "We made home... as we moved. So to say..." 

No, same, she responded, as a blanket reply to all of Ukelele's musings. She felt childish in her presence; though she had seen a lot, Lilitu liked to cling to her past, and the fact that it was slipping away faster than she could grasp was a source of constant anxiety.

She rounded upon the young woman, not aggressively but with some fervor. Tell me about your family, Lilitu insisted, bright green-gold eyes beaming. I don't know if I know a lot about you.

Lele did not like to cling to her past. Her reasoning was that life moved in only one direction and that was forward. Looking back was often times painful and not very helpful at all. Yes, time from time she remembered precious gems of her childhood and youth, but these memories became less vivid as more time passed. Until it came to a point, where she no longer could tell, what had been real and what her mind had filled up the gaps with. 

"I don't think, that any of this should matter," she pointed out. What would knowledge of her family members - all long gone - be of any use to the girl? Or the pack? "I had a mother, a father and a sister - but they are no longer in the picture," she told.

That. . .did not help her to feel less infantile. Normally gregarious, she felt herself cringing both internally and externally, drawing the slightest bit away from Ukelele as they walked. The two couldn't be more different, but damn it, she was trying!

Okay. . . Lilitu said. Silence, for a few moments. Tell me about yourself, then, she continued. What do you like to do? Is there anywhere you want to explore?

She gave an ingratiating smile toward the other wolf, but it was watery on the edges. She was crashing and burning, even if Lele didn't know it.

This was not going well at all. Lele knew that she had to relearn, how to socialize with her kin beyond polite exchanges of greetings and "how do you do"s. She was struggling just as hard as Lilitu to keep the conversation going. It was not that she did not want to communicate, but small talk and topics related to her personal life were difficult. Building new life on the ruins of the past one had been more complicated than she had imagined. 

"I am not the easiest to have around, am I?" she stopped and looked at Lilitu apologetically. She decided that admitting her defeat would help to break the ice. "I have spent a very long time on my own and therefore connecting with people is difficult," she explained. "I am not trying to make you feel small - it is simply me rusty in the craft of... word-bending," she chuckled at the new term she had coined and waved her tail.

She probably did not continue to talk much after that. Feeling uneasy and somewhat embarrassed by her own lack of skills she excused herself and found her peace of mind in hunting.