Morningside Cuesta hehe the sun

@Grayday

There was something particularly rejuvenating about late night dips. Whether it be the water managing to creep through her many layers of well-packed fur or the slight sting that came with the frequent winds did not matter. All Akuti knew was that these few moments of solitary pleasure were just what she needed to escape the stress and discomfort of her new packmates' company. This is not to say that she disliked them, but they were certainly a unique brood that would take some getting used to.

After coming back up onto land and giving herself a thorough shake, Akuti set off to finding Grayday's scent among the many which scattered the ground. It fet as if it had been forever since the two of them had been alone together, and she was particularly open to the idea of a night cap.

Grayday was napping under the stars, having been up all evening and most of the night. He'd planned to lie down for a few minutes only, but he hadn't gotten much sleep that day, due to the incessant joyfulness of his children's laughter. Still, it was a good kind of tired, and as he drowsed, his tail often beat the ground at some happy memory playing across the sleepy screen of his psyche.

For the first time in a long time, he was just happy. Plain and simple. He was safe and warm and surrounded by the ones he loved, like-minded indiviuals. They'd been eating well, lately, and the land around them was beautiful. What more could he ask for?

After a few moments of nose-dirt searching, Akuti was able to locate Grayday in a seemingly comfortable position just under the night sky. Excitement coursed through her veins as she gave one last shake of her fur and pranced over to the brute. As she came nearer, her joyous steps turned to a silent prowl, masking her approach. Once she was near enough to hear him breathe, this act was relinquished and she was on top of him with her tiny stub wagging in the air.

Had she been even just a few inches taller and she might have been able to feel the ground with all four paws. This was not the case however, as she had to teeter between the right and the left to keep herself steady. Akuti was sure she looked ridiculous as she beamed over her beau, but she could not help the incredible waves of euphoria which his presence brought her. Boo, she whispered, giggling soon after.

His first instinct, when jumped upon by such a small body, was to grumble under his breath and roll over, doing his best to squish the pesky son or daughter that'd woken him up in such a way. But as soon as he'd done these things, a familiar scent hit his nose, and he realized that it was not one of his children who'd attacked him so senselessly.

"'kuti?" he yawned, rolling away from her and peering blearily at her dark form. "What're you doing?"

Swaying drowsily, he lumber to his paws and shook out his coat. Tufts of fur floated around him.

Grayday sneezed.

"'m awake," he muttered, blinking down at the shewolf.

Akuti had toppled onto her backside when Grayday pushed his way from under her but she was quick to scramble back to her paws again. Before he could protest, she was in front of him, balanced on her hind legs and her forepaws on his shoulders. She trained her lime stained eyes onto his own and sat there for a moment, enjoying the silence between them. Of course, nothing of the like ever lasted long with Akuti involved, as she was soon back on all fours with her stub wagging a mile a minute. 

You're sleeping? she asked, mentioning the obvious, The night has just begun!

Grayday stood stoically as the shewolf flitted around like a little squirrel, once even pausing to climb him like a tree. The tiniest of smiles crept across his face, but the male was well and truly exhausted. Another yawn wracked his body while he tried to pay attention to Akuti's indignant accusation, and Day sat back down, unwilling to expend any more energy trying to stand.

"Y-yeah," he said with another yawn, this one less intense than the last few. "I was up all day with Addie, and the kids were making noise." Another small smile flickered across his face. "I should get up, though. We need to get those borders marked."

He stood once more, swaying, and stretched out his tired limbs. Slowly, energy seeped back into his muscles.

Akuti took a step back and watched Grayday rise to full height. Adeline wasn't someone who she necessarily disliked, but that didn't mean that she liked her either. In truth, the younger femme made Akuti feel threatened knowing that Addie had had a background with Grayday long before she'd ever come onto the scene. What exactly that past consisted of, well she wasn't quite sure, but she was no fool and could tell that there was something going on.

She chose to ignore these thoughts and simply huffed, not wanting to fuel the flames which already lay low between them. What did you two do? Akuti asked innocently, genuinely curious. She led the way toward the borders, hoping he would be following behind her.

Grayday followed gamely after the diminunitve woman, his tail now lashing idly behind him. All previous irritation was forgotten in the light of her sunny personality, and he was glad to be catching up again with his unexpected companion. They'd had a rocky road, but it seemed as though they were keeping afloat these days.

"Mostly just played," he admitted, thinking back on the day. "But some of the play was hunting, too. She's got a lot of promise - even when she was little, she was always looking for some new mountain to conquer. I'm sure she'll be a great hunter in no time."

A little hum escaped him. "I'm worried about Dawn, though. She hasn't shown much interest in hunting, yet. Not like Sunny has, at least. I want all the kids to be able to hunt for themselves, and they're getting to an age where I'd expect them to start contributing to the pack as well."

He looked to Akuti with silent question in his eyes. What do you think? She wasn't their mother, but she was a mother, and he'd much rather talk to Akuti than to Heartha. Besides, he valued the woman's opinion, and wanted to hear her take on the matter.

Akuti tightened her lips as she listened to Grayday's retelling of the day's events. No matter how wary she was of Adeline, a hunter was something of value. She wouldn't allow her own personal feelings to endanger a relationship as vital as the one between a hunting party. Then he went on to talk about Dawn which managed to catch the entirety of Akuti's attention. Her brow furrowed as she thought about how she would respond, as she knew how important it was for a youngin' to have these lessons.

Well, Akuti breathed, I can talk to her if you'd like. But I wouldn't force anything on her. Or else she might run away. She gave Grayday a hopeful look and a slight nudge to his shoulder to remind him the role that she played in the pack. She was denmother (alongside Heartha, but she tended to keep to herself) and would fulfill each of her responsibilities as such.

His tail whisked at Akuti's offer. "Maybe you should," he said seriously, thinking that it might be taken better from someone other than him. Maybe it would sound less like nagging if she heard it from Akuti, and if it was phrased like a conversation rather than a command.

Grayday had never been great at conversation.

"So that's Dawn, Addie, Sunny, and Kieran squared away," he said, checking off pack-members in his mind. "Now we just gotta see how Hawthorn does at hunting. I think he's older than the rest of the kids, but I don't know how much experience he has."

They'd come upon the Mudminnow river. Grayday's nose twitched as he caught his daughter's scent, but he'd already known that she spent a lot of time out here, on her own. Although it worried him to have her wandering, he knew there was very little he could do about it. Eventually, his kids would realize they had no reason to listen to him, and he had to play his cards right and choose his battles to make sure that day came as late as it possibly could.

"That girl is gonna be the death of me," he muttered, sitting down at the edge of the water and looking out over the river. The moon was reflecting off the water in a way that made everything around it hard to see, but he looked anyway. At least it was something.

There hadn't been much time for Akuti to really intoduce herself to the other two children of the group. This thought only arose when one of them was brought up and it occurred to her that she hadn't the slightest idea of who he was. Instead of embarrassing herself, she simply nodded along to what Grayday was saying. 

He took a seat beside the river and Akuti took it upon herself to sit beside him, barely a breath away. She's growing up, she whispered in a maternal sort of way; although she knew that she wouldn't be able to see this own phase in her children's lives, she hoped that she would one day get a do-over on her own terms. I know when I was her age, I wanted to get as far away from my parents as possible. Akuti laughed and allowed her eyes to trail to the slowly flowing current, But she'll be back.

There were many things that Akuti resented her parents for, but no matter how much bad they did, she couldn't help but forgive them. They were the only parents she had and she missed them more everyday. Let her be young and wild, 'else she might explode into a cloud of rebellion all at once. Now that would be the death of both of us.

Day hummed in agreement, seeing the wisdom in Akuti's words and having already determined that there would be no caging his girl - not now that she'd gotten a taste for adventure. Too much of her mother. Too much of me, he thought ruefully. Neither thought was comforting, and neither was the thought of her playing out at the borders with no packmembers in sight.

"I have no control over those two, anyway," he admitted to Akuti, the words coming out in a sigh. "I'm lucky enough that Sunny is happy to follow the rules. And I guess I'm just lucky they're both still alive."

He had no idea what he was doing, being a father. Once, he'd thought he would be good at it - but it was harder than he'd ever imagined, and so tiring that he wondered (sometimes) why he'd ever thought it would be a good idea to go and knock Amber up.

"I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes, I wish I could just go back and do things over. Have them be little again so I can do everything right." Abruptly, he realized who he was talking to - and how lucky he was to have the kids that he had, willful as they were. "Shoot, 'Kuti - I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," he apologized, leaning down to lick her cheek, if she'd let him.

The words stung. But in that same gash they left on her heart, there was an element of truth. Grayday had spoken the exact words she'd longed to be able to utter; it gave her such relief to hear his perspective that she was nearly frozen where she sat. Akuti allowed the show of affection with a tight-lipped smile before sucking in a deep breath. It's okay, she admitted, turning to face him so that she might be able to return the gesture, I understand.

Akuti thought about whether or not it would be smart to give him her opinion, but she knew she wouldn't be able to hold it in for much longer anyway. I think about them a lot, she whispered, and how they might have turned out. To me, they'll always be little, which I guess sucks just as much as it doesn't. I'll always have this perfect image of them which is great, but it hurts to think that in a few months time I could meet one of them and not know them at all.

I want a do-over, too. I want the chance to do things right; I want to feel secure as a parent. Akuti looked into Grayday's eyes and then back to the water. I'm sorry; I'm just rambling.

Grayday turned his head toward her as she spoke, his ears cupped forward to capture every word. He thought about how much easier it was to listen to Akuti talk about her lost children than Heartha, and then wondered why that could be.

"I can't even imagine," he murmured, his voice made low by emotion. It hurt to even think about not knowing his kids like that. Even if Dawn did run off and join the circus or something, at least he would have gotten to know her. At least he would keep her scent close to his heart, and be able to recognize her when he saw her again.

All at once, Day felt completely out of his depth and yet perfectly in tune with the shewolf beside him. Maybe her pain did run deeper than his, but they had both felt the sting of loss, and were now feeling the wistfulness of the far-off future. Day didn't know where his own path was leading him, but, "I want that for you, too," he said earnestly. "You deserve it."

The moment felt so intimate, so genuine. It was a feeling more intense than those which Akuti had felt when the two of them were matched limb to limb, for rather than a physical connection, the pair had seemed to meet on an emotional common ground where they could each find comfort in loss.

Akuti let the silence simmer between them as she fought back a low whine. It wasn't even that he had said anything to bring forth an emotional response such as sorrow, but it was the fact that he understood her and she was able to understand him, rather than one being judged for their past. Yeah, well, Akuti laughed, allowing the fragment to trail off. She used her paws to knead at the earth, making a small divot for the water to expand into. You deserve it, too, Day.

Day gave a soft huff of laughter, not quite bitter, but not quite happy, either. Regardless of what he deserved, pups just didn't seem to be in his future. He was getting older, and besides, he already had kids to worry about. But Akuti was still active and young - healthy.

"We can talk to the others," he suggested. "Nobody's got a mate to knock up - if you really wanna whelp this year, we could see about making that happen. We'll have to find a place to stay the winter, of course, but if we plan everything out, I'm sure it'll be alright."

Akuti didn't have a mate to knock her up, either, but Day didn't see that as an issue. Akuti could find someone in no time - perhaps even Sylvas. (An unhappy twinge tugged at the edge of his conscience.) Day wasn't sure whether or not their packmates would like the idea, but it was worth bringing it up.

Oh, Grayday...

Now she couldn't help but to allow the whine to escape as she attempted to frantically lick at his maw in a show of thanks. Thank you, she whispered as she attempted to calm down. There was so much unexpressed gratitude which she had for him in this moment. He had given her permission, and so long as the others did as well, she would get her second chance.

Even though she knew the chances were low, Akuti couldn't help but wish that the whelps would be his. It wasn't even a matter of attraction (although she did think of him as a good-looking fellow), but rather because of the care and compassion she knew he had within him. He was a great father and she wanted someone like that in her childrens' lives, but she would never force him into something he wasn't ready for or didn't want.

"It's nothin'," he said at once, stiffening for a millisecond as she leaned toward him. He didn't know how to deal with her proximity anymore - not when he could only think about how close she'd been before. He could hardly look at her without thinking of that day, and often, he worried that some sign of it would bleed through if she came near him again, and that she'd known the kind of powers she had over him.

But it was only a millisecond. These thoughts were too deep to think for long, and - as always - Akuti was warm and sweet-smelling beside him. Day leaned into her touch, a hum of thanks rumbling in his chest. What does it matter if she knows? he wondered. When did it become a secret?

Akuti took a moment to relish in his warmth and the comfort he provided, for she knew that these moments were few and far between. She took in a deep breath, inhaling his uniquely rustic scent, before looking up at him to speak once more. But Grayday, she began, although with an immediate sense of regret, what about your do-over?

In her mind, Grayday deserved as much of a second chance as she did, if not more. Even if he didn't want to sire her litter, there had to be someone with whom he could try his luck. Akuti loved him — not necessarily in a romantic sense (although that did play a part), but she loved him for all of the good he did, even if it was sometimes against her favor — and wanted what he wanted, no matter how much it might hurt to see him get it.

Day gave her nose a placating lick, not wanting her to feel bad for him. Sunny and Dawn were the best kids he could've asked for, even if things were difficult at times. What he really wanted was to go back with them, and to raise them the way they deserved to be raised, but it didn't bear saying to Akuti. She had her own pains to feel.

"I oughta focus on the ones I have," he told her. "And... I don't know if a do-over is in the cards for me. There's too much in my heart to ask for a woman to deal with, and it's hard enough to split what heart I've got between the two kids I already have."

I've got baggage, is what he meant, but that, too, did not bear saying.

Wrap up?

Akuti took on a tight-lipped smile and offered up an understanding nod. I understand, she told him, and she honestly did. Some things had to be fixed on one's own time, so she wouldn't fight Day on this if that was what was best for him. How about we get to those borders, yeah? Akuti hopped back up onto all fours and turned in the direction of the territory's end, though she remained stationary so as to wait for Grayday to do the same.

Day hopped up, glad for an excuse to end the awkward conversation. He liked his talks with Akuti - liked that they could share these things with each other - but he would always be bad at opening up, when closing himself off was the safest and easiest route.

"Race ya," he barked, glad that she'd waited for him. He'd never beat her in a fair race, but maybe he could win with this head start.