Lost Creek Hollow You're not integral

There was a certain spark of anxiety that had burned to life over the past couple of days.  It settled in her core and no matter how she tried to extinguish it, it still burned.  She could guess at its meaning, but that did nothing other than continue to put her on edge.  Treason had already shifted her schedule to be spent mostly at the den, but even that was driving her crazy.  She could only check the den so many times, only pace around the area around it so many times.  Treason had done her best to try to keep it under control when @Terance was around, but she guessed he knew.  Whether that was true or not, who knew, but Treason's response to just about anything abnormal was to try to metaphorically or figuratively bury it so if he didn't, she wasn't going to say.

She had walked to the cache and that's where she now stood, just staring at it.  She wasn't even hungry right now, but she had hoped the routine would bring some comfort.  It didn't seem to be.  Sniffing, she scratched halfheartedly at the ground, trying to see if any stirred up scents might appeal.  Not really.  With one more look she left the cache behind and headed for the nearest branch of the creek.  Drink first, then she'd give it another chance.

Two days after her talk with Gannet, Sarah had woken up early and headed to the lake. The ice had thawed there, the darkness of the depths were calling to her and without a further thought, she walked inside the water. Further and further, soon her feet were no longer touching the ground, but she kept on swimming, until she stopped and let herself sink. 

They say that drowning is an easy death and Sarah had hoped that this would be the case as well. The only thing he had not taken in account was that her body did not know her intentions. The moment water entered her air-ways, she began to cough and choke, and thrashing frantically with her paws she resurfaced. She gasped for air, kept herself afloat and realized that not only had her plan to call it quits today had failed, she lacked courage and true determination to fulfill her plan. 

Freezing to the bone she somehow made it back to the banks, where, once she had crawled out of the water, she remained lying still for a while. Crap! She thought, then forced herself to her feet, shook her coat of excess water and without a single glance back, she made her way to the hollow. Just as she was contemplating, how should she feel about this and whether she should tell anyone, what she had tried to do, Treason came in sight. 

Glad for a distraction, Sarah approached her brother's mate and greeted her with a quiet: "Good morning!"

Okay I hadn't realized that it'd been THAT long since you'd posted, yikes, sorry!  But hey, it's waiting for you when you're back from vacation :D

Treason was.. Well, shall we say not one to go and think up conspiracy theories.  If a wolf was wet, they were wet.  They probably crossed a deeper part of the creek or went after a fish.  By itself, it wasn't exciting, so there was no point to inquire.  The fact that she was here at the bank and not loitering around in the water wouldn't raise any suspicion.

Sarah had proven to at least be a good hunting companion -- or rather, Treason was just a blunt object to wield at the time -- and hadn't gone and caused any trouble, so it wasn't like Treason would go out of her way to avoid her.  Which was about as good as things got, since she rarely went out of her way to find specific individuals on her own.  Also probably better her than Joss, as she'd be tempted to actually chew on him this time around.

Anyway, Treason's current status made her pretty snarky when you got right down to it.  Morning, goodness is questionable, she added ruefully before reaching the edge of the water and dipping her head to drink.  Her movement felt beyond awkward, and if she could have crawled out of her own skin right about now for a break, she probably would have.  She pulled herself back up and away with some effort to return to solid and dry ground.  Now what?  It wasn't like they'd spent much time talking during the hunt, or since, so maybe warn her, I'm probably not the most pleasant company today.  Like she ever was.  At least she was kind of stating the obvious.  But she was also pretty sure some wolves would quite happily flee at that, while others might just appreciate being told that.  Up to her, really.

"You are probably right," Sarah responded, giving Treason a once-over look, searching for any obvious causes for discontent and after not finding any (or simply being careless and missing out), sat down and did not bother to continue the conversation. Wraen would have mulled over the relative meaning of "goodness" in the world, life, mornings, wherever, really, her sister, however, would not try and make the other's mood better with a witty or optimistic remark.

She watched the leader drink in silence, once leaning down to sniff at the water, but was not in the mood for a drink herself. "You would know that best," Sarah replied, getting to her feet and was about to leave, when it occurred to her that for Terance's sake she should at least try to be more social. "Can I help you with anything?" she asked, deciding that if it was a "no", then she would be able to go with her conscience clear.

Treason's main issue was just the fact that she was less than a day from popping out pups.  She didn't realize that fact was what was driving her a bit crazy right now -- that particular detail wasn't part of her education, and it wasn't like she had previous experience.  The longer her pregnancy had gone on, the grumpier she'd gotten, so this was pretty much the apex of it all.

I.. don't know?  It didn't quite make sense.  Maybe it was just that one cache.  Maybe another one would appeal more. Do you know what's in the other caches right now?  She didn't seem entirely certain about it, but at least her frown was kind of determined and thoughtful instead of angry as all get out.  Nothing seemed right in the one over there.  She indicated over her shoulder.  Treason honestly didn't have any other ideas if she showed up at one of the others and was also displeased.  She hadn't traveled particularly much between them in the past day or two, so it was entirely possible someone had caught something and deposited it farther away.

Treason did not beat around the bush and Sarah was grateful to have something practical to do, rather than having to dislocate her brain in attempt to keep an awkward conversation about nothing going. It was only now that she took a better look at his brother's mate and realized that the piebald she-wolf was not just big, muscular and bulky, she was also expecting and quite soon for that matter. And the first thing that came to her mind was - how did that happend this fast? And the other - an embarrassing reminder that she had not really paid any attention and missed not only the engagement and hen party, but the actual wedding as well.

"Let's have a look," Sarah agreed to help and once more was ready to go, but then it hit her that she had not clarified one important thing. Or few. "Do you have any particular wishes? And what did that cache over there have inside?" she beckoned to the one, which Treason had already checked.

Honestly, it wasn't surprising Sarah had missed out on the news -- the pair of them had kept things pretty low key, no big announcements of anything.  Heck, word of their mateship had probably started with Terance telling Rannoch and it slowly spreading from there.

Nothing unusual in it.  Rabbit, some deer. Shrug.  Just... Nothing that fresh any more.  Okay, maybe not entirely accurate.  Everything in there was perfectly edible still, but since it was the closest to her den, Treason had pretty much vacuumed up everything as soon as it was put in -- the things that remained were those that had been caught on a plentiful day and she'd taken something else, or Terance had brought something home with him.  Ugh.  She sounded like she was trying to be a princess or something, demanding nothing but the freshest kills.  At leastt running into Vuk at the borders had pretty well clarified what it was she currently couldn't tolerate, I know it all should be fine, but my stomach disagrees.  Top it off with just her general unease right now and it was a recipe for frustration.

"I can go and see, what I can get for you, and come by later - if that works for you," Sarah offered, going over the list of potential hunting places in her mind and deciding that her chances were pretty good between the fourth and the eighth. If Treason did not wish to have the food she would bring home for her, then she would have the liberty to eat it herself. 

"Children will be here any day now," she asked-stated, feeling sympathetic for Terance's mate's troubles. "I remember my mother could hardly eat at all days before whelping. They don't leave any space during the last days," she said and then fell silent, because this was the longest she had spoken to another person.

Sarah made a lot of sense at least.  Honestly, Treason didn't particularly know the timeline she'd traveled.  It just was a thing, she trusted her body and instincts to do what was necessary, and though she knew vaguely what what she was going to experience through this all, it wasn't like something she'd sat down and discussed before.  Yeah, great planning on her part, eh?  She was just winging it.  Mm.  Probably most of it right there.  I'm ready for this part to be over.  And on to however the next step would be.

I don't really want to wait around.  I almost feel like that'd make things worse.  She seemed to twitch slightly then, sniffed, seeming to shake it off.  We could start to the next cache, see if anything else pops up on the way?  That seemed like the most reasonable thing.  Maybe she could walk some of this off.  Or not.  Who knows.

At some point, early in her leadership she had contemplated taking a mate and having children. Not that she had any particular desire for marriage and all the associated stuff, more out of the belief that it was, what leaders did. What was expected of them. Their duty. There had almost been a suitable prospect, except he had fancied his younger sister. And, what both of them did not realize, that the said guy had been playing them both. But that belongs to the history. Anyway - as the time had gone on, Sarah had grown disillusioned about the whole idea. And childbearing in particular did not seem either fun or easy. Therefore in a way she was glad that there were others to do the deed and she could join in, when the kids were past the stage, of draining their moms not only of milk, but - what happened at the time of teething - blood and flesh as well.

"Very well - let's go to your cache," Sarah agreed readily. Your party, your rules. She adjusted her pace to Treason's and feeling that an awkward silence was not an option and that she should make an attempt to get to know the mother of her future nieces and nephews, she tried to come up with the least silly and annoying thing to say. And as it happens - she did the opposite. "Have you known Terance long?" she asked.

Treason wished she was moving as fast as she used to.  Seriously, this was the perfect time to regret everything ever. So though the next cache over would typically be a short walk, she felt more like she was dragging along in a pile of mud.  Okay, not quite, but still.

Since the pack formed -- little before, really.  Year ago, give or take.  There aren't many of us left from that time, really.  A lot have left.  And a few died, but that was beside the point.  And even more were going to leave in the future.  Just don't tell Treason that.  She didn't care that they left as long as they didn't come back. She wanted the good wolves, the loyal ones.  Wraen and Maia were here for much of that, too.  She couldn't remember if Maia was here right at the start any more -- they'd only met a few times -- and again, she was gone now so wasn't going to try to remember too hard.

"Ah, so I heard," Sarah nodded, though there was little enthusiasm or any other emotion in her voice, when she heard the names of her sisters mentioned. With Wraen she had never got along and it had been years now, since she had seen her last. And Maia she did not wish to meet, remembering clearly, how crushed she had been, when she had heard about the fate of her parents and siblings. She had disappointed her immensely and did not want to face this again.

She couldn't entirely pin Sarah down.  Just when Treason seemed to have her figured out, something unexpected came up.  Like Terance had seemed to find his family important and had seemed pretty hurt by the fact his other two sisters hadn't come along... However, Sarah seemed to... Not care at all really?  Weird.  One would assume that she at very least had a rough understanding of what had happened to their parents and possibly other siblings, but... Why no response to the other two?  Whatever.  It wasn't like she was too keen to see the siblings and such she'd left behind but she had her own reasons.

Do you think that you will be wanting to wander like--? Her ears tipped forward and she cut her next words short as something skittered through the underbrush at their approach.  They were probably too far and too slow to be able to catch whatever it was unless Sarah had a fix on it (Treason was gonna be pretty useless anyway).  Something small and quick.  Hell, there were enough trees around here that it was probably a squirrel.  Either way, the other cache wasn't too far up ahead, so if it was just a random interruption, so be it.

It was a squirrel and Sarah did not burden her with small things that could climb trees, unless she was truly desperate. Hunting on the ground was much more exciting. Water - even more. She watched the animal to skip lightly accross the forest floor and then with a swift jump get up on the nearest tree. As she had predicted - waste of time.

"Wander where?" she returned to the earlier subject, not really getting, what was Treason aiming at. It was not like she was planning to leave (though occasionally that thought did enter her mind, but for a creature of habit she was, it was merely entertaining to play with) or had given an impression of it.

Treason stretched her neck out a little, sniffing off where the squirrel had wandered.  Perhaps it smelled more delicious than usual solely due to her being unable to catch it.  Obviously the food on the highest shelf must be the best.  Oh wait, yeah, she'd been talking.  To go see your sisters again or whoever.  Wherever it is that pack they're in.

I know a fair amount of wolves seem to want to go visit their family elsewhere. But considering the shrug she attached with that, Treason was apparently not of that number.  But then again she was also a wolf who went by an alias at the moment, so it wasn't like she was super keen on her parents and siblings showing up either.  Sarah certainly seemed detached enough that she might be of a similar mindset, so it wasn't like Treason was expecting some sort of enthusiastic answer about her future trip across the planet, but she knew that every once and a while she could very well be wrong...  Really, though, she mostly wished to know who could 100% be counted on to keep things rolling along while she was out of action.  She knew few and trusted fewer.

Sarah thought about Treason's suggestion to visit her sisters, wherever the two lived now, and did not enjoy the idea. She had not seen Wraen in years and as far as she was concerned neither of them had anything common other than being born to the same set of parents. Maia was a bit tricky one - their reunion had not gone down well and feeling guilty and responsible in the presence of one sibling (Terance) was enough not to wish to meet another one again. To sum it up - no, she had no interest in wandering of that kind.

"I don't know, where they live," she dismissed the subject with the shrug. After all, anyone, who did not live across the street (or a walkable stretch of distance that you could cover in an hour or two), were not worth the effort of visiting either. Waste of precious energy and dangerous as well. "Is that something people should be doing?" she asked - the question was general, though she wanted to know Treason's thoughts on the matter. IF it was expected, of course, reluctantly, she could put an effort and go. Or pretend at least to do it very well.

She pondered.  Terance certainly knew where their sisters had wandered off to.  She was pretty sure, at least.  Far enough away that Treason didn't expect to really see them again basically ever.  From her perspective, they were much more free to wander back towards the Hollow and visit them than the other way around.  Especially for the next few months.  She wasn't an avid traveler either.  If Sarah cared, she could find out, if not, then whatever.

I don't know.  It did sound like some want to.  I don't.  But I'm also a lot farther from mine than a lot here.  In multiple ways, not that she'd say at the moment.  I just need to know what to expect of everyone.  Who would be busy, who to rely on.  Trusting few had the occasional disadvantage, mainly that the primary wolf she expected to do things was going to be out of commission -- herself.  Okay, Terance was next on that list.  Beyond that?  It depended on the day.

"I don't either," Sarah replied in a moment of honesty, but she did not regret her words. Treason seemed to be on the same plane with her regarding this matter. And if Terance was disappointed to find out about this, well, wasn't there already a ton of things he was blaming her for already. Her Narrator would like to point out that Sarah is biased and flawed and, what she thinks does not need to necessarily be true.

The next part of the sentence puzzled her though. Was she supposed to prove herself to Treason in some way? Wasn't her good name... oh, yeah, what exactly was left of it? She was not longer a queen, she was a commoner. Different rules applied. Sure. She did not like it, but what choice was there. "You do not have many to rely on?" she asked then. Was it a bad thing on the whole? Rather have a handful of people to trust than a whole army of people you hoped were loyal to you.

Seeing as this is an old thread and Treason's womb-tenants are running around for the last four months, maybe we can conclude this soon?

Yeah, sounds good to me! Can wrap in a post or two I guess?

Okay, so Sarah wasn't gonna run off.  Or at least wasn't as long as she didn't pull the disappear into thin air entirely forever trick that some people seemed to enjoy doing.  I don't know the newer members as well.  Recruitment hasn't been my place. And her player doesn't remember some of them that were in the pack back then anyway.  Aside from Terance: you, Nara, maybe Gannet. I terrify Joss and Ibis as far as I can tell, a faint grin at that, thought he former was pretty much causing misery to himself rather than having her be the cause.  It faded. I thought that perhaps Rannoch's family would assist since they have yearlings... But I'm not sure any more.  We'll see.  In her eyes, it would be returning the favor that they'd kept the pack in one piece during Rannoch's injuries, that they had willingly given him back the rank, but after meeting Liffey her opinion on both of them (though more Liffey, to be true) had soured.  She felt like her own choices made to benefit the pack were nothing.  They certainly hadn't apologized for Liffey being a git at least.  They certainly didn't get along.

Either way, the area where the other cache was right there in front of them.  This one.  She immediately dropped her head and started sniffing around, but made a face. I can smell something is off over there, which was probably still well within the edible range, but her nose was not dealing with the more aged smells as well right now.  Is anything fresher hiding by it?

Sarah made a mental note of getting to know that Nara- and Joss-person at some point, though it was unlikely that she would do anything about it right away. As for that Rannoch and his family - they were nuisances to her. She was not used to living in pack, assembled by two nuclear families, and - when the time came in near future - she was probably the only person in the pack, who was glad that they had left.

"I will go check it out," Sarah volunteered, went over to the cache, rummaged there a bit and eventually pulled out some semi-fresh remnants of deer haunch. There was not much left, but it was the least putrified bit in there. "That's as good as it gets," she informed Treason, after she had thrown it in front of her and had taken a respectful distance to let the leader eat.

While Sarah searched, Treason wound her way to a less smelly section of the area, watching alertly.  She shifted uncomfortably a moment, one leg raising for a moment like she was going to scratch an itch but stopping before doing so.  Thankfully she didn't have too long to wait, as Sarah recovered the prize.  

Thank you.  It'll do.  She dipped her head in thanks, then reached down to grab what remained of the haunch and pulled it away farther from the bad smelling bits.  Arbiter then settled down for her meal, picking at it far more carefully than she would have otherwise.  And a couple of bites in, And don't feel as though you need to wait up.  I've probably used enough of your time.  Only thing left on her agenda was to eat and then hobble her way back to the den.

Sarah took Treason's words as a polite way of telling her to leave - which was understandable. Which wolf liked to eat with the other one staring down at them? She nodded quietly, rummaged through the cache to pick something for herself and finally with an in-describable piece of flesh, skin and sparse feathering, left the leader to eat in solitude.