Blacktail Deer Plateau breathing in the view

It was late summer, but the weather today felt more like autumn. It was relatively chilly and the day was overcast and gloomy. Grezig wondered if it was going to rain. At least she would not have to get wet since they had the Door to retreat to in bad weather. As creepy as that place was the farther back you went, it did have its uses. Most nights Grezig slept outside, hating the feeling of being cooped up, but she could imagine a cave like the Door would be very helpful in winter when it snowed day in and day out and the temperatures dropped so much at night. 

Grezig was out on the western edge of the plateau, staring down at all the land below her. As much as she loved the forest to the east—she’d grown up in a forest, after all—this open space made her feel less claustrophobic. She stood looking at everything around her and breathing, and everything felt all right.

The fae was hunched over a cache, dropping two fat hares in before her claws could be heard scraping the stones back into place. Once the game was safely stored, the girl padded into the forest. 

The breeze had a chill that spoke of autumn; the Alpha had already begun to notice it growing cooler in the mornings and evenings. Thick fog would roll across the Plateau as the sun rose and by evening the air was crisp and the grass cold underfoot. 

The cold seasons would be upon them soon and though that would bring relief from the heat, they only had the rest of autumn to prepare for the coming winter. 

The sylph broke into a lope, leaving the conifer and birch forest behind as she crossed the open plain at the center of their territory. Splashing through the river left her chilled but not for long, on account of her arctic coat - which would soon be growing even thicker in preparation for the cold seasons.

As Liri reached the edge of the plateau, she was unsurprised to see Grezig sitting at the edge. It was a deep pleasure indeed to sit at the edge of the mountains and observe the world below. It was quickly becoming the healer's favorite place in the territory. 

The sylph chuffed as she drew near, a smile on her face. "Mind if I join you?" She asked, not wanting to intrude on the Beta's personal time.

Sorry for the wait omg.

Grezig’s ears went backwards as she picked up the sound of approaching pawsteps. She half-turned to see who it was, looking over her shoulder, and saw Liri.

’Mind if I join you?’ the alpha asked.

Grezig shook her head. “Please,” she said, by way of invitation. “I was just enjoying the view… something I was unable to do until recently.” She let out a sharp breath as a kind of laugh. “It seems settling down has been good for me in more ways than one. Before, I was all survival-driven. But now that we are here, I find myself able to relax a bit more.” She glanced at Liri, wondering what the fae would have to say on the matter.

You're all good!

The Alpha took a seat a leap or so away from Grezig, ears pricked inquisitively as the Beta spoke. "Oh?" She asked curiously, head cocking. To Liri, the beauty of Teekon had never failed to catch her attention - even in the best of times. 

The fae turned her dark gaze on the Flatlands below - rugged, wild, beautiful wilderness. The golden green grasses gave way to the distant dark curve of the Whitefish and beyond that, the dark scraggly forests and the low profile of Great Bear's mountains. She tried to imagine it in the winter, its hollows and outcrops softened by a blanket of white, but was unable to conjure it. The sylph supposed she would just have to wait and see what it looked like - the thought brought a smile to her face. 

"It's good that you have found a way to relax," she responded, turning back to Grezig. "I sometimes have to remind myself to find time for it. So much lingers on the mind these days," the healer murmured, thinking aloud. The coming winter was the most prevalent. They would need to start hunting as a pack, and soon. The caches were filling but they would need big game to round them out for the winter.

I am SO SORRY. AUGH. I've been trying to catch up but omg it's taking forever.

Liri sounded surprised that Grezig could take in the beauty of the land. Grezig supposed that made sense. She was not a wolf who came across as one who stopped to smell the roses. (Her interpretation of Liri’s response was wrong, but she did not know that).

The alpha went silent for a few moments, staring out at the land before them, and then she spoke again. ’It’s good that you have found a way to relax,’ she said.

Grezig grunted a reply. 

’I sometimes have to remind myself to find time for it. So much lingers on the mind these days.’

Grezig turned to look at the alpha. “What lingers on your mind? We have a home now. We are safe.” She paused, trying to think of something that might worry Liri. “Is it the boy? Illidan?” Indeed, Illidan worried Grezig, a constant nagging at the back of her mind.

"Illidan is one thing that worries me," she admitted. She had yet to speak to him and broach the idea that she and Kavik had come up with.

"Winter is another. We'll need to begin hunting big game soon if we want to store enough food," a frown creased her forehead as she thought of it; they would need to hunt as a pack soon.

I am. The. Worst.

Liri admitted that Illidan was worrying her, but she had another reason, also. Winter. Yes. Grezig worried about that, too. “Yes,” she said, agreeing with the alpha about hunting. “Should… should you call a hunt together soon? Or…” Grezig hesitated, not wanting to come across as someone who was grasping for more power. But she was a beta, after all. It would make sense if… “Or I could, if you wish it.” She bowed her head in deference. Whatever Liri wanted, Grezig would do. Despite her inner thoughts—that she would make a better alpha than Liri—she would never voice this. Not unless something dire happened. She was not so power hungry as to destroy a pack’s structure to become a leader.

She was surprised to see Grezig stumble over her words, given how cool and collected the Beta always seemed, and wondered if winter worried her more than Liri thought. True, it would be best to keep an eye on their stores but they still had time before the cold seasons truly set in.

"Oh, well I've been keeping an eye on the deer herd but I suppose whoever finds an opportunity first," Liri smiled. The other members were more than welcome to call the pack together, Liri had no qualms about that. So long as they hunted and filled the caches, the Alpha wasn't concerned with who called everybody together. 

Grezig could not help the short sigh of relief that left her. She had to constantly remind herself that Liri and Kavik were not like her parents. They were not your usual Alphas who demanded fear and respect. Respect, certainly. All Alphas were to be respected. But they did not lord their titles over their members. And Grezig was their Beta, after all. Of course she could call a hunt together if she wished. “Thank you,” she said to Liri, allowing a brief smile before letting it fall away again. She searched her mind for something else to speak of, and remembered Illidan.

“The boy,” she began slowly, unsure of what to say. “He remains despondent and… distant. Cold. His mental health worries me.” She pursed her lips, gazing out at nothing in particular, thinking. “I have tried being soft on him. Kind. I’ve tried being harder on him, demanding he find something useful to do with himself. Neither approach has worked. I am… out of ideas.”

She sighed softly, her eyes drawn away again.

She had made attempts to cheer Illidan. Despite the fact that he lingered near and allowed her to care for his physical needs in his youth, he seemed to have no interest in the wolves of the plateau or the life they had built there. He ate, wandered about like any other child but Illidan did not seek out company or play with others or seem happy at all. 

Liri cared about him, the constant apathy that plagued the coywolf pup worried her greatly. She dreaded the day Illidan reached maturity and disappeared into the Wilds, for she knew in her heart it would come. As much as she tried to love him, Illidan did not want their love. 

"I had suggested to Kavik an apprenticeship in a trade he thought interesting but..." she shrugged, her dark gaze returning to the Beta and betraying her inability to help. "I'm as out of ideas as you are."

Well, the fact that Liri was also out of ideas didn’t do anything to brighten Grezig’s mood, but that wasn’t Liri’s fault. Grezig sighed. Again. “I suppose our only option is to continue to watch him closely. His future actions worry me. I fear he may lash out at us, or disappear one day without a trace.” Grezig had no idea that she and Liri’s thoughts on the subject were so similar. She paused, thinking of something. “If he disappeared, would you give me leave to follow him? I am unsure if that would make matters better or worse, but I promised him months ago now that I would not give up on him. I think—I think he is lost somewhere in his head, and I do not need him to get lost in the real world, as well.”

"Of course, if he does disappear, please try to bring him back," Liri agreed whole heartedly. She doubted she could go herself, with her bum leg and all. A thought occurred to her then and her brows drew in. "Unless...he is old enough to care for himself and does not want to return. In that case, I wouldn't want to force him to stay," she said softly, saddened by the thought. 

"I know I've called him our son before but that was merely a way of explaining our relationship with Illidan to outsiders," Liri said suddenly, glancing to Grezig. "He's something like a son to you too, though. I've noticed it." It was nothing more than a statement but it sounded something like praise from the soft spoken Alpha. 

"Hopefully with two sorta moms looking out for him, he'll be okay," Liri murmured, falling silent afterwards. Her attention was turned inwards, to hoping fervently that it was true. 

’Of course, if he does disappear, please try to bring him back,’ Liri said.

Grezig nodded. Good. She would be given permission to track him if he left. She would not—but Liri wasn’t done.

’Unless… he is old enough to care for himself and does not want to return.’

Grezig’s breath caught in her throat. 

’In that case, I wouldn't want to force him to stay.’

“No,” the Beta managed to force out, choking on the word. “Of course not.”

’I know I've called him our son before…’

Son.

’He’s something like a son to you too, though. I've noticed it.’

“Yes,” Grezig said, her brows drawing together. Tears stinging her eyes. She turned her face away from Liri, attempting a slow and steady breath through her nose. It only shook a little. 

She spoke again, but Grezig heard only muffled sound. She would not cry in front of Liri. “Excuse me,” she said quickly, standing and running away before she allowed her emotions to overcome her. This was stupid. She needed to get a grip on herself or risk losing it all. She ran until she could no longer feel anything beyond the burning in her legs, and then collapsed in exhaustion, too tired at this point to cry. Good. No crying. Not ever.

[Exit]

Sorry! I was not expecting this resonse out of Grezig at all!

Liri was frozen, unsure what it was she'd said that upset the Beta so. Was it that she had called Illidan her son? Or maybe that she had called Illidan Grezig's son? The leader was left gaping, her jaw working slightly as if to call out to the brown agouti as she fled but no words left her lips. 

The healer was left alone on the edge of the plateau - staring down at the grass guiltily as Grezig disappeared. She shook her head slightly. It wasn't as if Illidan had actually gone anywhere yet. They had only been preparing in case he did. The boy was still safe within their territory for now, most likely near the Door or under Kavik's watchful eye.

After a time, when the light had mostly faded and the world had grown chilly, she finally got to her feet and padded back towards the Door. She would find Illidan, watch him for a moment and assure herself that he was alright, and then curl up with her mate and ward within their cozy den.

np, thanks for the thread! And thank you so much for the kudos <3