Fox's Glade She told me that I'm not enough

tl;dr “you’re wrong!” “no, you’re wronger!”

Dakarai had so many words to say, and so many of them were wrong and hateful! Beneath the enmity, the fae wilted at how his voice turned against her. Who were they, in this moment; acrimonious strangers, or soul mates forever tied by the bonds of parenthood? It was an uncertainty and pain the struck deep in her chest, and it struck so strongly that it resonated across her entire being, racking her pale, gamine musculature. Olive let him speak as he had let her speak, bracing herself against his insults and dancing over the parts about Onyx. Dakarai seemed to ride upon emotions as volatile as her own — she saw it clearly in his face, and heard it in the fluctuations of his tone.

“I know you don’t want to believe it, but,” she began once again, finding her tongue easily. “You are in control of your reactions. You knew what you risked every time you descended Moonspear, but you left anyways — and you lost your bet, again and again and again. Is it a surprise that you eventually lost me, too?” Her emerald gaze dropped to the forest floor, finally giving voice to the thought that plagued her every night as she closed her eyes to sleep.

“That is how it works…. even I cannot love something that is not there. The gods have always provided for me when you couldn’t — they are the ones that deserve my devotion.”

With sudden ire, Olive’s ears pressed tightly against her skull and a growl blossomed deep in her throat. The banshee spoke through gritted teeth. “Oh, you think that I buy your stories of winter storms and hurricanes, and falling off cliffs and poison? I was a fool to ever have believed these lies.” The brute whom she once loved told a convincing story; in fact, she had believed it for almost a year. It was only until recently that the unlikelihood of all these disastrous events dawned on her — only when his spell upon her had been broken. “If you have almost died so many times, then why aren’t you actually dead?!” The sentiment came out incredulously, as wolves a lot more skilled than Dakarai perished in scenarios far less severe. “Why would the gods keep you alive? Oh, how you lie through your teeth… How you wish and pine for better relationship with your daughter, yet you accost her on this very ground! I see nothing but delusion here!”

“Blame me, blame your shit luck, but when Onyx is spending months alone because you fell in a hole, or were gored by some boar, or drowned and then came back to life or whatever excuse you want to conjure… your new, shiny, bright love will tarnish and fall apart, as ours did. I know, here — in this moment — you feel justified in your grand declarations of adoration… but what trials have you gone through with her? What tests have you overcome together? You say you will protect her — but you also said you would protect me, protect our family… and you failed.” Here Olive’s venomous tirade broke and she hauled in breath, eyes glowering. “What makes Onyx any different?” she uttered between huffs.

“You will fail again, if you continue to pin others for your own doing.”

— whether he wanted her to or not, Olive touched her pale cheek to his and pushed forward, rubbing her temple against the man’s corded neck until she could rest her fine-spun chin upon his shoulder. Something within her lurched forward; the energy that whipped between them was nothing less than electrifying. “Do you still not see, husband?” the sylph spoke in a voice that was a scant whisper. I must cast you aside, for I still love you so… I could not bear to see you die for my sake.” The woman’s tongue breeched her lips to smooth down the fur behind his ear; certain that her actions and words conveyed two different intentions. Olive did not question her intuition, even if it was confusing… and even to herself. You would have done it, no?” The shrouded sylph questioned, taking a step backwards to look upon Dakarai, her forest greens holding his icebergs blues. “Give up your life for me?”

“I know I would have.” the woman admitted feebly. “I did.”

“You must understand, now. Aries and Cassiopeia live on, oh and I am sure Sirius thrives somewhere too, but it is no thanks to you. It is because I gave up everything that they survived, and it is only because I suffer that you have the freedom to run into the arms of another. It was not my choice — I only did as I was instructed…” The weight of this toxic interaction, his close proximity — it broke her. Tear began to flow freely. “You say you loved me, yet you so easily move on.” The woman sobbed. "I now see that I was not special. I now see all of your lies...” Olive picked up a twiggy forelimb to wipe at one her eyes. “…but I can never love another man, even if I do carry someone else's litter. I doubt will ever find another love as great as ours, but I do not grieve for it, unless the gods deign to test my devotion again...” Olive turned to look at the gamine curvature of her low belly — if it were anyone other than Dakarai, who knew her so intimately, they likely would not have realized her delicate state. Oh, how happy her pregnancy had once made them! How close they had once been! “These babies, though… They are not a test. They are a true blessing. This, she was more certain of than anything.

Now that was out of the way, there was a part of Dakarai’s story that deserved her attention. “But, oh, my love!” she exclaimed, letting the man’s words finally seep into her cognition. “You intentionally hurt our daughter!” Almost immediately, her infuriation rushed back to fill her. The woman puffed out her chest, breath coming in short, anxious puffs at the top of her ribcage. "She is but a child; your child, for god’s sake, let her attack you! What harm could she do to you — a larger, older man with years of experience? How could you do this?”

“You deserved it.”

Something had changed in Olive since she met the quiet man by the river and struck out at him with frustration and anger. She remembered how it felt to have his pelt in her mouth, and to bite down and feel the skin give way to her fangs — she felt this desire now, felt it in her wired jaws and toes as well as her belly and the wolfess gripped the ground with her toes in order to abate such bestial desires. “It is what children do when they meet their absentee father for the… third time, is it? Fourth time? After how many times you've had to make a reappearance, a reintroduction into this family, does it surprise you to not be greeted with love and kisses?” Olive stalked closer, looking very much like a dappled feline as she slunk towards the man; feral. “Had I told Cassiopeia of your sainthood and perfect-ness, she would still hate you — and you would have done the job yourself. Even if your absence, you infect us with your poison.”

The mother drew her maw closer to Dakarai’s, menacingly close, and flashed the tips of her fangs in what she hoped was an intimidating display. “…if you touch her again, Dakarai, know this: I will kill you. Believe me, I will.” her tone bespoke the gravity of her meaning. “I can do things that you would not believe." Perhaps they were empty threats, or perhaps they were not. Nowadays, Olive was always surprising herself.