Moonspear I'm Upset

if there's one thing that roarke has come to learn about the indefinable thing he calls life it's that it doesn't owe him a goddamn thing. consequently, he knows and understands that vela doesn't owe him anything either. not even a second chance. roarke was hard pressed to offer second chances himself and it all feels a bit hypocritical that he stands before her asking for one. he's not as good as she is, he realizes. as vela takes him back he releases the breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding and his ears flutter back to rest at half mast atop his skull. her words sound more like: i'll take you back for now but it might only be temporary and he feels his brow furrow. of course, he remembers what charon had told him. of course, he knows the chances that vela would ever leave her family are slim to none. he, whom has family that he has not seen since he was a wee cub, isn't capable of entirely understanding that desire. to him, the lack of ambition is boring. maybe she was content to live beneath her parent's rule for the rest of her life but roarke wasn't.

he considers her words and chooses his own carefully. "we'll cross that bridge when we get there." meaning he has no plans to enact on his own ambitions any time soon and there was no need to end what could be something. they had all the time in the world before them and there was no telling where their path might lead them. roarke has a tendency to jump too quick to conclusions, and chides himself on his inability to live in the present. "i will." roarke promises vela in a quiet rasp.