Stone Circle What can break me has a name

He did not deal well with stress. He bowed away from it, more often than not- fearing that it might summon another shaking episode or another bout of sleepwalking and nightmares. When faced with such important decisions, he felt himself wishing he could simply stow himself away- return to a boyhood he had so reluctantly left behind. 

He’d wanted to remain a child forever, but he had outgrown the role long ago. Now, he realized how ill-fitted he was to the role of leadership, when faced with others who did not immediately agree with him. 

His heart splintered when Moss thanked them, but departed. He felt he’d failed her, and found that the feeling grew when he turned his saddened eyes toward the angry Astrid. 

He felt her words wound him. It was shocking to think that she had the impression that he didn’t care about her family, but it reinforced his belief that she was not ready to lead, if she could not see the truth or rein in her tongue. 

He’d cared so much…Grief hung about him like an ever-present shadow, as tightly knit to him as his own scent. ”You are blind,” He said softly. ”If you do not see that I care, and that they care. You bite wounds with your words; make bleed our grief, too. Astrid…I believe in you, but do not want this…Anger.” After all, the others had weathered the opportunity without pride or ego. She stood out among them, but he considered silently for a moment that perhaps her passion wasn’t something that was meant to be tempered.

He sighed softly; defeated. 

He looked then, to Kristjan and Ujurak- the two who had spoken for their ranks. ”It is to you, Nornir and Hjarta, to lead, and choose Anda. I will follow you, and your Anda- or Andas,” He said, looking to Astrid to indicate that he would not reject the notion of following the young, fiery woman as well. He felt as aged as an ancient willow, and felt keen to rest his head and be done with the conflict. 

Tiredly, he hoped for a conclusion. ”I will help, with Bjorn,” He said, casting the latter a grateful look. ”Will be Hirdir, if you allow. Not leader, but help.” 

He wasn’t fit to lead- but he saw in the faces of the youth, those who were.