The Heartwood I've been cold, I've been merciless

@Speedy cuz I need a BFF! haha

Siarut had spent his recent days wandering. He had yet to feel at home within the Blackfeather pack. It was something he was sure would resolve itself soon enough. He had never once thought he would belong to a pack without his parents and it was taking time for him to settle in. He felt alone, more so then he would admit to any of his siblings. That in and of itself was telling. Shivali, who had been his sounding board for so long had found her own life to live, and he was trying to figure out how to fit into it.

Siarut found himself in a wooded area that looked awfully similar to his new home. Yet it was different, calmer almost. He took a moment to relax beneath a tree, a large white oak tree deep within the forest. Settling down, he leaned against a tree with a heavy sigh to think of his new life. His stark white coat practically glistening in the darkness of the trees.

back dated to May 20, 2018

Speedy thought she had it all figured out but once again, she had put too much faith in what she thought she wanted, only to end up confused. She wasn't sure where her place was anymore. The feeling of being lost was an invader to her normally optimistic thoughts. She stopped walking and shook out her coat as if she could fling the bad feeling like stray water clinging to her fur.

That was when she caught his scent. She smiled and followed it deeper into the wooded area she had been running through. Her sour mood lightened when she saw Siarut sitting next to tree, his white coat bright in the moon light as if a beacon. She trotted up to him and with a smirk said, "Hey, Mr.Perfect!" 

As he heard someone approach Siarut turned to see who it was. Although looking relaxed he made a point of coiling his muscles, just in case. Although the voice that sounded, and the figure that approahced made any precaution unecessary. With an amused eye roll, he smirked at the girl as she came forward. "Hello once again, giving out more complements I see." He couldn't help but goad her.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon Speedy. I figured you must have moved on." He wasn't sure why he had got that feeling from their last departure, but he had. He was silently glad that he might see her again before she headed for greener pastures. He remained in his seated position, showing her that he was comfortable in her company.

At his response, she laughed and replied, "Still full of yourself, I see." She returned his eye roll with one of her own as she moved to sit next to him, giving him a playful shoulder nudge on her way there. 

Her face fell a little at his next statement, but she still gave a small smile before responding, "I guess I was feeling a little lost and unsure what to do next, so I stayed in the area since I know it somewhat by now." Having this much freedom to plan her future had been freeing at first, but now it felt suffocating. She was glad to be talking to a familiar wolf, though. She was very social and being on her own for too long had tainted her thoughts; casting doubt on her enthusiasm. 

She looked at her friend and tilted her head a little before saying, "I thought the same of you." Her brow furrowed in concern as she added, "What are you doing out here?"

Siarut returned her playful nudge with one of his own as he leaned more into her then in the tree, offering her a connection not many outside his family possesed. Her body language spoke of her uncertainty, and he felt for the woman, he really did. He had never been lost in the way she now found herself, he always had a purpose. Even leaving his parents had had a purpose. 

"Being aimless is not without its pitfalls." Siarut empathized with the woman that was wiggling her way into his circle of friends. "I have found my place, somewhat." He gave a slight shrug, "I joined Blackfeather Woods, as I told you of last time." He didn't elaborate on his being in the particular place at this particular moment, mostly because he didn't want to dampen her mood any further. 

Although seeing her need for contact earlier, as she sat alongside him, Siarut knew she couldn't stay a lone wolf forever. "You can't stay a lone wolf forever Speedy." It was a statement that gave no infliction about what she should or shouldn't do. "It doesn't fit your personality." He grinned at her, and gave her another nudge, his scentence was playful, but there was a hint of truth in his statement.

She gave nod of agreement. Being aimless was definitely not for her, but she hadn't found a place that she felt she fit in yet. "I'm glad you found a pack to join," she paused to smile before adding, "Do you feel like you fit in well there? Or is it too soon to tell?" She genuinely hoped he had found a place to call home.

Speedy looked away at his next statement, the smile falling from her face even with his playful contact. "I know. I was naive to think it would be easy to find a pack once I got here." She looked back a him and continued, "I guess I'm afraid of joining a pack and then finding that it doesn't feel like home." Maybe her optimism was a product of a happy childhood; something that wasn't meant to persist through the hard times of real, adult life. She didn't care if that was the case, she would still try to maintain a happy outlook, even if it made her seem immature.

Siarut looked away from the woman, her comment struck a cord, and he knew that perhaps his gig was up. "I have no choice but to fit it in afraid." Turning his green gaze back on the woman, "It's where my family has choosen to call home, and that makes it my home no matter what." He gave yet another shrug. 

"Finding a home without any roots is difficult." Sia had chased many away from his natal pack, wolves who thought they could hang on the coat tails of his parents success. "You'll never know if you'll fit until you take the chance to join." His smile returned. "I never had the chance to be naive, I assume it fades with age. But there are somethings you shouldn't lose with age. Stay true to yourself friend." The friend part slipped from his tongue before he coudl reclaim it. A was stunned by his own thoughts for a moment.

Regaining his composure he cleared his throat. "Besides, you could always join me at Blackfeather." Sia turned his gaze, sheepish at his statement. He had never really had a friend that wasn't related to him before, someone he hadn't known since birth. Was he doing it right? The northerner didn't know.

Speedy perked up at the mention of his family. At their last meeting, he had only talked about his parents. With surprise on her face, she asked, "Family? I assume it's not your parents?" She had many questions, but didn't want to bombard him. She wanted to give him the choice to offer more details.

She nodded and listened to his wise words, agreeing that she should stay true to herself. When he called her his friend, she gave him a big grin. She nudged him and said, "Don't worry, I already considered you my friend, so you didn't have much choice in the matter."  

When he offered for her the possible option of joining his pack, he looked way from her. A feeling of gratitude washed over, and she quietly replied, "Thank you, Siarut, that means a lot." She nudged his turned cheek with her soft muzzle, wanting him to look back at her.

He complied with her nudges returning his gaze to her own, and gave a small smile, glad that perhaps he was doing this whole friendship thing properly. 

"No my parents would never come south." The ice bear shook his head, glad for the fact that his parents would most likely never come looking for any of his siblings. "My siblings live in Blackfeather, and so I shall never leave them. They are the sole reason I now live here." Away from his beloved ice and snow, away from the ice land that he loved and missed with all his being. He gave up his future, as a leader, as a son, all for the sake of his siblings. 

"So if you ever need a friend, I'll stand with you. Don't forget Speedy. It means a lot to call a northerner your friend, it means you have a family behind you." Siarut got the distinct feeling that Speedy would get along rather nicely with Tahani and Tomkin. All three had their sunny dispositions.

Speedy returned his smile with wide grin. She listened to him talk about his siblings in Blackfeather and playfully asked, "Are your siblings as charming as you are?" chuckling a little. 

She gave him a meaningful look and said, "Your siblings are lucky to have such a loyal brother." she paused to smile before continuing, "...and I am also to lucky to have you as a friend." His comment lead her to believe he had not left his home of his own accord, which was beyond selfless. This wolf appeared to have many layers under his tough appearance, and she was glad he was letting her in. With that in mind, she chanced digging a little deeper and asking, "Can I ask why you all left your home? Is it somehow tied to the wound your father gave you?" She followed her question with a compassionate gaze, hoping he wouldn't think her intrusive.

"My siblings are perhaps more charming than myself. I'm the quiet one, if you can believe it." He chuckled along with her, although it was true, except for perhaps Shivali. She could be mighty quiet, especially when speaking the common tongue.

Siarut glanced over her kind comment, to awkward to come up with a reply. Instead he listened more intently to her following question. He took a few moments to contemplate an answer. He was starting to trust this woman, and yet he couldn't bring himself to tell her the whole story. Especially not about Tomkin, and the following confrontation with his father. That was not a conversation he could share so openly.

Instead Sia gave his new friend the outlines of a story. All truth, but not the whole truth. "My brother, sister and I all came in search of our other sister. She, like yourself, left out birth pack looking for more. And we followed." He shruged, it was a very brief version of events, but he couldn't let his emotions get out of hand. Speedy was a turning out to be a good friend, but she was only that, a friend. Only family would ever know the full story. Perhaps one day Speedy might hear the full story, but today was not that day.

Speedy laughed. "I think I'd have to see that to believe it." She grinned thinking he definitely took every chance he could to give her a hard time. 

She listened quietly as Siarut gave her a short explanation as to why he and his siblings had left their home. Again, she was compelled to ask more but wasn't sure if she should. Her naturally curious nature was clashing with her desire to respect his reticent nature. If her past had been as tumultuous as his appeared to have been, she would probably be reluctant to discuss it as well. So, she just left it at that, assuming he would tell her more when he was ready.

Speedy slid into a stretch and then rolled over on her side, still facing Siarut. She sighed and said, "Night time is my favorite part of the day." It may have been random, but it was true. Plus, she wanted to give him an opportunity to change the subject if he wished to do so.

He looked down at the woman as she became more comfortable, it was easy company. Something he was glad to be apart of. With a content sigh he leaned against the tree once more. "Night time is an interesting part of the day." He conceded thinking his favorite time.

"Before leaving home, midday was my favorite time." Sia took a moment to look around, taking in the sights and sounds of the night around them. He could hear the hoots of a strange bird in a tree not far from them, and the scurrying of small creatures on the forest floor. "Night if still full of life here in the Wilds. In the arctic, once the sun sets so do the living creatures. The deepths of night are to cold to be out and about." Nodding his head he returned his green gaze to the woman, his friend.

"Noon was my favorite as it was when you would find the most life on the surface. Birds high in the sky, and hares scurying about." He supposed that now her would have to find his new favorite time of day. Perhaps the chilling of night would be a good time to pick.

She listened to him talk about his favorite part of the day, her ears flicking in the direction of whatever noise that caught her attention. She rolled so that she was lying sternally, and met his gaze as he talked about his home some more. She smiled and wagged her tail when discussed birds and hares. It made her think of the roadrunners she used to chase back home. 

"The nights where I come from are lively, as well, but quite a bit warmer." She grinned before adding, "I think I would freeze to death where you come from." She definitely was not accustomed to the cold and wondered how she would fare the winter here. It may not be as cold as where her friend was from, but it was much colder than the winters in the south. Surely, she would have a pack and warm place to sleep by winter, though.

Giving her a look, up and down, Sia nodded her head. "Ya, you probably would." He laughed, "Your coat is not meant for the arctic weather. Just as mine is not meant for you southern heat. I might melt." Sia shifted as if to indicate his thick white insulation. 

"Just wait for winter. I can't wait." The ice bears tail flicked in anticipation, it was only summer but he couldn't wait for the snow to fall and the temperature to drop. He had a feeling Speedy wouldn't like the change of season that was still several months away. 

It was nice to have aimless conversation, the thoughtless banter of their quick-wit made it an enjoyable evening. He was glad to have found a friend such as Speedy.

Speedy laughed with her friend and said, "You're right on both accounts." His thick coat would definitely be miserable for him if he lived in the south, just as her thinner one would not offer much in the way of warmth.

She watched as he seemed excited about the prospect of winter. She sat back up and gave a quick shiver in response before saying, "I hope I have a warm place to hide in by the time winter comes. That's my plan for the winter; hide in a warm place until it passes." She laughed a little and knew she couldn't really do that. She would have to just deal with it, especially if she were part of a pack. That didn't mean she wouldn't be spending as much time as she could snuggled up in her warm cocoon if she was lucky enough to have one.

His chuckle never seemed to cease when he was with Speedy, "I've never heard of wolves hibernating before." He would take full advantage of the below zero temperatures when the time came. "Maybe I can show you how to properly enjoy the snow." Siarut knew his siblings would also be taking advantage of the weather. He honestly couldn't wait. "Although that means you'll have to visit." 

The forest groaned, as the wind flowed amongst the trees. The night casting a beautiful shadow around the pair.

Speedy grinned at his comment and replied, "Well, that's because you didn't know me before now." She thought about what it would be like to enjoy the snow and drew a blank. She couldn't think of any way to enjoy that cold, wet stuff. Still, she'd give it a try. Especially if Siarut would be there. 

She smiled when he pointed out that she'd have to visit him and moved close enough that they were touching again before playfully saying, "No problem. You'll never get rid of me now."  Her gaze was mischievous when it fell back on his face, and she let out a small huff of laughter.

He smiled at her hibernation comment, he would believe it when he saw it. With another shake of his head he scoffed at her. 

"I don't doubt it." He playfully rolled his eyes at her, "Even if I tried, you'd probably find me." Siarut resumed leaning against her. As he looked around at the darkened forest, he knew that he would have to leave soon. He had responsibilities he still had to do at home. His sister was depending on him, and he wouldn't let her down. "I'm going to have to leave soon." It had only been a few days since he had found out and he was taking his new job seriously. Much to the dismay of Shivali.

Speedy chuckled. "You bet I would." She felt a lot better than she had earlier. Siarut had a way of making her laugh. But when he said he would need to leave soon, her mood fell a little. She understood, though. Family came first and she assumed he needed to get back to his. "Alright," she said, trying to mask the disappointment in her voice. "I understand. You probably need to get back to your family. I should probably get going soon, as well." She didn't look forward to being on her own again, but she needed to get her shit in gear and find a pack to join. She knew she would never be happy if she didn't.

Siarut could see the disappointment in her eyes, but he honestly didn't have a choice. Shivali needed him and he wouldn't let her down, not for selfish reasons such as this.

"It was nice to see you again Speedy." He nosed her gently and gave her a small smile. "Thanks for the pick me up." The northerner wasn't sure if she would realize how much their short conversation had helped his previously bitter mood. He slowly stood and made his way toward home. "I'll see you around." He threw one last grin over his shoulder.

wrap up?

Sounds good

She gave him a quick goodbye nuzzle. "See you soon, Siarut" She didn't really give him an option, because she knew it to be a fact. "No, thank you!" she added with a grin. He had been the one to pick her up from her foul mood. 

She watched him walk away, rolling her eyes at him and laughing when he turned to give her one last grin. She then stood and began to follow the water once more.