Shimmering Sands up with the sun, gone with the wind

hi i don't remember how to write him anyway

To the sea had once been a useful heading, but now that he could smell the salt distinctly on the frigid morning's winds, it only made him miss her more. Still his trails were all cold. He went on nothing, and how long had it even been by now? His skin was tight over his ribs, his paws perpetually sore. The daylight hours were coming awfully short. He despaired in silence and solitude, wiling away his hours on a dead trail.

But if not this, then what? Without Qilaq, nothing else tied him to a home—so he lowered his head and kept treading on, even as winds coasted over the open expanse that spread ahead. He had wanted to have his life with her, beside her.. together and peaceful finally like they both deserved. A pivotal piece of that missing had landed him here, alone, out here in no-man's land and tracking fading deer prints out of habit, undertoned with a desperate plea for survival.

He wished (and oh how he wished for a great many things these days).. but unless whatever was at the end of this trail was knocking on death's door, it was another fool's errand on his behalf.

He kept going, though, behind a nose pointed roughly east, a direction as good as any today.

he went to go check on the bear--to clarify, he went to go check if the bear was gone. one whiff of the creature and he'd be headed back to coconut grove, never to cross the delta again. so far, so good. there was a brown figure in the distance, but it was undeniably lupine, and he trotted toward it, hawkish gaze still wary of his surroundings.

arrey, yaar, govinda greeted, in good spirits. the past days had been kind to him. he eyed the lean wolf for a brief moment before speaking again. you haven't seen a bear around, by any chance? he asked, brows raised. almost ran into one here the other day. i'm hoping he went into hibernation for the winter. be a shame if that was my neighbor.

sorry, silas. first conversation back in the teekon wilds and you've the threat of bear hanging over your head.

When his periphery caught glimpse of the oncoming motion, he stalled his trailing long enough to pause. The first wild hope wanted it to be a silhouette of a deer, cheerily limping his way, or some other big, warm, delicious prey begging for the takedown at his paws. Instead it was wholly, absolutely wolf. An earthy-shaded fellow, and Silas immediately had himself brace for this—just in case. 

Before he heard anything, his ears tucked down fast and his posture stayed as sunken as he had been. Although the presentation of this stranger suggested good will, he erred on the wary side by default, and by his very nature out here alone.

He did cant his head at the peculiar greeting (presumably?), then clenched his teeth. The realization of what exactly the talkative stranger said next cut a chill to his bones. All these pent anxieties blew through his nose in a tired sigh. Bear. No bear, not that I've seen, he shook his head, unable to be relieved about the fact that he had missed it as he skirted a look up to the stranger's chest. I was trailing the deer.. maybe it was too, hoping for an easy meal before hiding away... he mentioned quietly, supposing it made some sense if he had to think on it from a bear's viewpoint. Do you have many neighbors like that, here? Silas nervously licked his lips, upset he (some tracker he was lately) had overlooked the scent if so.

he was a little puzzled by the submissive, wary behavior, and he chalked it up to the bear--until the man began to speak. govinda's brows drew together, nodding along with the story told. then he shook his head. not to my knowledge, he responded softly. no bears or cougars about, just seabirds and the occasional beached whale.

huh. maybe the bear really had gone into hibernation. lucky for them.

do you live around here, or are you passing through? govinda asked, his generic query for new faces. and this face was certainly new. he wondered if the man had always been this nervous, or if life had beaten fear into him little by little. like a chisel, chipping away at stone. were that the case, govinda surely could sympathize.

At the hint of better news, of no cougars or other bears, he hesitantly cupped forward an ear and nodded small, mostly towards his chest. He felt delicate in the face of what didn't outright sting, and spurred by the words of the stranger, he let the vision of a quiet coastline (complete with the familiar seabirds' calls overhead) come to mind—and naturally, when envisioning his peace, Qilaq was there too.

Pulling himself away from the very idea immediately, before it could only make him sadder, he refocused and nodded (hopefully not too jerkily). I hope it can stay that way, he provided, and flashed a narrower look when inquiries turned towards him—one that he soon eased past with a sigh. I don't live near, he said softly and shook his head, although his wolf certainly spoke like he was from nearby. Silas has no clue where here was, besides near the coast, and wherever it was this lonesome trail had brought him. He could only pray it was one step closer to finding Qilaq, although doubt festered constantly in his cold, tired bones. No home, not right now. This stage of his life did not allow for such luxury. I was—am—looking for someone.

no home. govinda had time only for a fleeting frown before his eyes shone with intrigue, ears coming forward. who do you seek? the seawolf offered, cocking his head slightly. maybe i've seen them around. recently, even. many wolves pass through this coastline.

he knew all too well the stress of a wild goose chase. hopefully this man's would end sooner rather than later. although then he would need to find a place to settle, in which case. . .

govinda pushed the ambassador bullshit to the back of his mind, instead focusing on the traveler's needs. all other questions, comments, stories could wait. this was of the utmost importance to the other wolf, so it was of the utmost importance to govinda, at least for the next few minutes--or however long it took to find his lost one.

My mate, he answered, pained, with a silent grimace passing over his features. All the nothing to show for every mile at his back weighed him down. She has black fur and silver eyes, he noted, for whatever it was worth to him. Silas' face felt hollow and in front of his stranger, he couldn't make his tongue say her name aloud yet. He wouldn't make it, and neither did he handle any explanation all too eloquently with that in place.

The Ostrega does know enough to feel somewhat ashamed by the desperate wave of hope that maybe he'd recognize someone matching that description and that all of this could end. He could try to elaborate, however, and took a deep breath. We used to live by the sea. Something happened, though. And he didn't know what—another strike of misfortune for him, surely, and what to blame exactly? Silas could only theorize, and he had a terrible feeling about it. He had been worrying about it, about Qilaq, for months now. And she's been missing since summer. And thanks to this, here he was, miserable, alone, and feeling so disgustingly lost.

he thought a moment, then shook his head, loath to disappoint the man. i haven't seen anyone like that around, govinda said mournfully. i am sorry. his heart beat hard in his chest as the traveler went on to tell more of their story. separated since summer. what a terrible prospect for anyone to endure, much less a kind soul like this.

i will keep my eyes open for her, bhai, he promised, nodding solemnly. my name is govinda. i live in the coconut grove to the east of here. if you need anything else. . . he trailed off, as it was unnecessary to add the rest--the look in his eyes said it all. hospitality ran deep within him, down to the marrow.

Though he held fast, that hope slipped through his grip. He understood. It's okay, he shook his head softly, despite the disappointment flickering in his heart. No one had, after all. This came with it an all-too familiar sensation. Thank you, he jerked his head in a nod. It was all he could ask for, despite how far a reach it could be. Knowing that others knew too.. something about it sated I'm Silas. Ah.. Silas Ostrega. he nodded again, although a more tempered gesture then. 

Again.. thanks, for the offer, he meant. All of them. Coconut Grove should commit well to memory. He almost thought to ask more.. but, it didn't quite feel right. The loner had nothing to offer back right now. A hunt, maybe? He shouldn't.

I'll probably follow the coast. If you do.. see her, he said. Soon enough, he would be on his own way once again, anyway.

one of the things he loved and yet hated most about himself was his memory for names. faces, too, but names especially. ostrega echoed 'round his skull, and chaiyya's pretty dark face lurked in the corner of his vision, bright eyes cold and questioning. why'd you leave? he could hear her now.

well, i hope you find her, silas ostrega. ah, any relation to alya? govinda asked, his mouth dry. luckily for him, the ostrega family was vast--but he didn't know that. her family lived--lives?--at moonspear. oh, god, what if he was related and he told her about seeing him?

what if she came to find him?

panic rose hot and fast in his chest, and he tried with all his might to keep his face blank and calm.

Again, he dipped his snout in a grateful nod, but his ears turned back to the unfamiliar name. I wouldn't know, honestly.. he said, finding it as likely as not. His dad probably had brothers, just as his granddad had brothers all of his own before so. Surnames were strange, he just carried it out of habit—and because it did make him think of the long forgotten, terribly brief days of peace and bliss in the Hollow once.

Really though, this Alya could even be his sister or a distant nothing for all he knew. He was, and had been for quite some time, very removed from the vast sprawling branches of his family, immediate and otherwise. He hadn't seen his mom in years, and his dad in even longer. Siblings? They were distant, faraway faces. Larkspur's golden fur, he remembered sometimes, and the little v-shape on Pippin's back. Besides that, he did not know if any of his more immediate family lived, died, bred, or went extinct.

He rarely even mentioned it, and this time, it earned him this knowledge too and quite frankly, he wasn't sure how to feel about it. He would keep it (Moonspear), but besides Qilaq, there was nothing else driving him. Maybe Moonspear would know something about what he sought. I'll see if I come across them.. he mentioned, although it could be strange to see family again (distant, or imagined?), so he was not the sort to go hunting for them. I should go. I will remember your Grove.. he said, and turned to slid into a long trot off towards the coastlines beyond, after muttering some more vague gratitude and farewell under his breath too. Close enough. He had to go.