Tranquil waters rested before her, their surface still and accompanying scenery peaceful albeit brisk as winter had begun to get comfortable already. She exhaled slowly. Her breath billowed, hung on the brisk air a moment then dissolved to the atmosphere. Again, she drew a measured breath. Held it fast, then..
The greens of her eyes so subtly ringed in samsara shone as she opened them suddenly. They were awash with grief and determination despite the tranquility of her countenance. Mizuna,
she whispered. She sat still with her front paws together, her hind legs tucked neatly beneath her and her tail curled around to her front paws. This lake.. she had come here for respite at first then stayed in meditative silence as the late afternoon continually wore on. The first traces of sunset already began to streak the skies Anata ga inakute sabishīdesu,
she muttered, the syllables barely separating in her muddled speech.
It had taken her too long to muster up the words, even if they were only spoken to the lake and nothing more. She sighed and frowned intensely. Anata ga nokoshite itanode, soreha sa rete iru mono kimyōna jikan,
she shook her head, almost bemused with herself. Shikashi, ima no watashiwomite..
Talking to herself here alone with no real allegiance to her name or cause to devote to aside from her own selfish plans. She had nothing to protect save for the hide stretched over her nimble bones.
She felt torment lately. By the delayed grief and by the struggles nature put before her all intertwined into one ugly foe. Her focus was difficult to find because of this. She had yet to find her purpose. Nothing had been accomplished besides basal survival. Amekaze knew she possessed the means for better and swallowing hard, she rose to stand and shook out her untamed furs.
And then, she slung back her head. A low note howled forth and gained tempo steadily. For you, sister, she sang while the sounds shook her chest and strengthened. For you, my heart. Amekaze squeezed shut her eyes and as suddenly as it had began, the howl concluded.
The skies were stained in orange now that bled to red and at its edges, purple. These colors reflected in the lake and the surface rippled far from shore. The fledgling sage glanced that way, squinted, then in a sweeping motion assumed an ambling walk along the bank. Her head hung low, nose aimed towards the earth and her scruffy furs assumed their half-mast positions to complete her look of roguish company.
She might have appeared as if she were searching for something, but for what it was, she could not say.
Vires lifted her head and looked up at the trees. Stretching taller than she will ever be. Standing stiller than she could ever be. Staying more silent than she could ever be. Standing firm throughout the fiercest storm and drought. Something she once again could never do. With this realization in her head Vires worried for the outcome of her silent pack. She needed everyone that was left here if she were to survive. One standing aspen is more shielded and protected if others are around, even from the most deadly wind. Vires sighing let her gaze drift across to the lake. She noted the waters, a blue that matched her eyes, clear and focused.
Vires also spied a wolf, whose fur as wild as the westerns winds. As thought a thorn bush took the shape of a wolf, spikes become fur. Vires crouched fearing the wolf had already seen her. Observing the wolf Vires stayed low, watching. The wolf all in about went into a howl. The hot air cascading out of the wolf's muzzle. Drifting into the air as a butterfly did, freely without care. The howl, was one Vires couldn't understand, but she felt the need to reply to it. Standing tall, firm, and silent as an aspen Vires howled back in reply. Letting emotion run over her pelt, not caring what came out just she needed to reply. Once the call ended Vires made her way out of the trees, and into the world.
Perhaps now she could move with a lighter step. So was the hope, anyway, as she collected her thoughts and composure in tandem. Amekaze preferred not to express too much too openly. Thus her enigmatically chilly demeanor. It was easier this way and she understood why clearly. There were times when it was just too intense, too much to contain, and it scattered her thoughts so badly that there were times when she feared she may not be able to pick up the pieces.
Her ears were quick to attention and her neck straightened not long after; a reply sounded. From nearby, too, and the dark Rikudōu's hackles shifted in response as a chill shuddered across her skin. She listened keenly, despite it not being the voice she had truly wants to hear after this (for that was impossible here and now) and she turned towards the source in search. Who was this and perhaps more importantly, why.
She saw the dark wolf already, who now lingered not far from the treeline, then purposeful strides took her closer. She wondered how long she had been here undetected. Amekaze knew nothing of the other and thus, she was guarded. Her only greeting for now came as a low whuff then a steadied pause during which she observed to gauge this wolf's temperament and reaction to Ame's presence. I had not anticipated a response of any sort,
she quipped dryly and stood tall.
To the question posed by her fellow dark-furred female, Amekaze's eyes narrowed somewhat. The true answer was perhaps indicative of momentary weakness, she believed, for despite knowing that the ears meant to hear this song were long gone from this world, she sang with her heart nonetheless. An uncharacteristically expressive notion for her, sure.
However she did not feel inclined to answer in whole truth. Tch, why not?
she huffed and switched her tail idly. Just to hear my voice, perhaps..
she answered in deadpan with a squint that suggested this was all the more she would answer. It had been a song for her sister but this stranger did not need to know.
In an effort to steer the focus away from herself, she intended to turn the inquiries back onto her. You. You smell of the voodoo wolves, yes?
Her muzzle scrunched even before she spoke it. Bon Dye?
The words were still foreign on her tongue and just as awkwardly handled as they had been with Pied. Amekaze was curious of them and this was now her second wolf of their ranks to encounter.
The wolf asked Vires if she was from Bon Dye, or voodoo wolves. Vires let out an not-so-feminine snort when the word voodoo came off her toungue. "I have been called a lot of things but voodoo wolf hasn't been one of them. But alas yes, Bon Dye is my home pack." Vires let her head bow slightly, trying to give the notion of pride in her pack, even when doubt filled the air. The uncertianity that lingered amoungst Vires and her pack mates still hadn't disappeared. Which left Vires worried, but being worried was a weakness and she was not about to show weakness to a wolf she had just met.
Attempting to start a conversation Vires spit out "And you? You smell of no pack I know? Loner?".
She narrowed her eyes and maintained her frown -- a typical expression. Self-loathing or not, she did not care for the particularities of why she had howled. Amekaze did not answer. She did not feel like it warranted one, anyway, for her cause and purpose only truly mattered to her.
Listening on, she shifted her stance. The other seemed relaxed. Amekaze mirrored this feeling only somewhat. She stayed standing for now, though with her weight shifted to her left, she looked much less coiled and tense now. I see. Well I know little of your pack. I do not assume you are all steeped in the voodoo practices, but I had heard such associated with the pack before.
Hence her assumption, incorrect or not and she huffed softly to mark the end of her words. Nevertheless, the dark female seemed happy enough with her home. Amekaze knew that their numbers dwindled (or had been when she had met Pied), so perhaps it was not all bad there. She did not ask.
Hai
she replied in affirmation, naturally guessing that the nod of her head with the syllable indicated that despite the language, it still meant yes. Amekaze tried not to let her tongue slip often, though. No pack has captured my interests enough to gain my loyalty,
she added, nearly adding "yet" to the end. However, a significant piece of her loyalty did remain in the distant mountains still. Bit by bit she was coping without it and knew a pack would likely be necessary soon.
Amekaze did not wish to join one that did not promise to keep her interests met and so far, she could not guarantee that packs here would do so. What brings you here?
Did the forests of the Bon Dye wolves not entertain them well enough to keep them at home? Or did Amekaze just have a penchant for running into them out here in the neutral lands?
The female started chitchat again and this made Vires ease her fears. She no longer thought the female was going to attack, if she was out for blood she would have attacked by now not bothering to know names and stories. Speaking of names, Vires hadn’t caught the other females yet and this made her curious. Once the female had conlucded about not being in a pack Vires stepped in "The voodoo wolves are always open to new…dolls. " Vires whispered in a low voice her face contorted into a wide smile. "I seem to have forgotten my manners. I am Vires"
Vires still smiling now wanted to answer the females final question. What brought Vires here? Was it the call of the waters, or the refreshment they offer? Or a break from the dark forest and to remind herself there was light? Vires truly did not know what brought her here. Only that she was. "I brought myself here. It was only once I heard your call that I understood why I was here." Vires concluded.
Once more, she was quiet and stoic for hearing that the voodoo pack was open to new membership came as little surprise. Amekaze knew little of them still and none of it was enough to particularly sway her in their favor. This was not to say this couldn't change, but speaking of now, she felt indifferent towards them. At least the wolves of the pack she had met so far seemed.. alright on the surface. Normal enough, too, not poised on the brink of war like wolves she had known before.
Then, she received a name to match to this face. Although Amekaze didn't find being on a no-name basis to be manner-less, she knew that was not usually how others felt. I am Ame,
she replied with a small downward tilt of her muzzle. As I said, no packs have interested me enough to join yet, although I still only know little, so this may change soon enough.
Truthfully, she had not seriously considered the whole pack idea until relatively recently. With that said she gave Vires a loaded look, halfway curious if she would speak further on Bon Dye or let it go.
She "hff-ed" softly, a noise halfway between a snort and a chuff, and reluctantly nodded. Vires's answer was.. vague enough still. Amekaze could not decide what to make of it. Well whatever the case, you are the second Bon Dye wolf I have known. I usually stay more to the North in the wetlands, but hunting has fared marginally better here. I seem to keep running into your sort; it must be meant to be,
she said.
Vires smiled as the female once again mentioned that no pack as caught her eye. Vires respecting Ame's decision decided not to press the issue any further, she just smiled as she mentioned she had met one of the voodoo wolves besides Vires. "Who else did you meet besides me if I may ask?" Vires waited a moment for the females response.
Vires was always curious on wolf history and their past engagements. "Ame, tell me about your past. Where were you before here?" Vires spoke trying to act uninterested but curiosity filled her words.
Amekaze nodded. It means rain,
she added with a noncommittal chuff. Although not her whole name, it suited her well enough to work just fine shortened. Amekaze fitted her best in battle where she existed with the strength of the driving wind for which she was named, whereas Ame worked for the day to day, more like a typical uneventful rainshower instead.
Eventually, she saw it fit to lower her rump to the ground and sit finally, as Vires had done moments earlier. The mottled-fur Pied,
she answered simply. We hunted.
Amekaze had little else to say about the female unless she was asked for more detailing and Vires' question had her thinking ahead quickly instead. Ame would be choosy about what she shared. I came from Mount Rikudōu. My birthplace,
she began. Perhaps pride shone in her verdant eyes, but she aimed to remain stoic. She missed the mountain still.
I do not know what all you care to hear of,
she added while curling her tail around her paws. For her almost-two years, she believed she had gathered a decent tale already, even if most of it seemed to be colored by strife. My parents were important wolves, although I was closest to my okāsama -- my mother.
Amekaze paused and her expression drew into a gradually deepening frown. With her I trained, learned to war early and fought for peace.
And despite their victories on the fields of battle, she still weathered more losses than she cared for. The subject of Mizuna was skirted, conveniently.
She was stunned when Ame sat on the ground; it made Vires exultant that the wolf felt comfortable with her finally. The rain wolf said that she had met Pied, Vires nodded in echo of her statement. The fact that she met Pied was not stunning but Vires was still curious on why Pied was wandering around outside of their pack territory. While Vires doesn’t feel the need to abandon the pack, Pied might feel differently. Vires took note of this but didn’t let her disenchantment show on her face.
The rain wolf went on to talk about her birth place. At the mention of it Vires thought of a tall gorgeous mountain, filled to the brim with lush mountain creatures where the nights were cold and the days colder. Vires could see pride in Ame’s eyes, and this made Vires happy. ”Its good to see wolves take pride in their home” she rumored to herself.
Vires nodded at the mention of Ame’s parents. Vires thought that by important wolves she meant they were alphas. Vires just shrugged and hope that is what she meant. "I take it you were close with your okāsama… mother?" Vires added, not wanting to push the conversation about her mother any further than the rain wolf wanted.
Amekaze had always recognized her parents as Alphas, unrivaled and unparalleled in the regions they reigned in, yet she knew her mother to not always take up all the typical duties entailed. She left them to her father... which had always seemed readily accepted by him, who was more than content to rule his aspects while she did hers. Amekaze had realized the balance they had struck early on in her life, for despite their differences as wolves themselves, apart they were not as strong as they were together. She knew they realized this as well.
Yes
she affirmed with a nod. Very much so. Missing her was another big part of why Amekaze still favored the mountains so much. I spent much of my time with her, especially once I became her apprentice in sēji as well. I was also close to my younger siblings because of this, but never my surviving littermates.
Two of her siblings had died very early, so soon that remembering them was difficult at times, but the two had had survived were unforgettable.
They had established themselves as at odds early in life, which Amekaze had deemed as inevitable. Always they had been like two opposing forces and unlike their parents, Amekaze had never been able to find the balance between them and herself. She believed they hadn't wanted it that way either, for nothing they had done had ever made her feel that to be so. Regardless, it was of little consequence here and now. And what of you, Vires? I assume your history has spanned further than this place alone.
It was inevitable the Ame was going to ask Vires about her past family. Vires had no harsh memories or feelings against her parents or pack mates. Its just she was looking for something. Was e something a mate? A pack? A dream? Vires hadn't a clue, but she felt the need to leave her home when she was able to find this something. "I love my family, I lived in a normal pack, I had great parents and good friends." Vires spoke, grinning at some of the memories the conversation brought back. "My siblings were annoying but loyal. I had a great life. " Vires didn't know how to put her so called wanderlust into words. "I left because I was...am looking for something. I don't know what it is although, that I'm looking for." Vires said truthfully.
Amekaze listened in thoughtful quiet. So Vires came from a normal life, whatever that truly entailed, and loved her family. Her own upbringing had always felt normal to her, even if it was not typical. She had never known any different and could not envision her being who she was today without it, the good and the bad both.
Then her ears angled back as she tilted her head a few scarce degrees. Vires' words of searching for an unknown resonated alarmingly well with her. She shifted her weight and was reminded the words she held so near and dear to her heart, 'I hope you learn what true strength is'.. Still, Amekaze did not know how to find that. I suppose I could say I left for similar reasons.
Putting it into words was not easy either. It felt like such an abstract concept still, despite her efforts to understand exactly how to approach this. I think one day I will return to the mountain but I cannot say when. I do not want to go back until I have gained something.. important,
her expression furrowed. The question remained how she would find it.
![[Image: 5ifpFkc.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/5ifpFkc.png?1)
i want to bleed in the 「r a i n」
Vires wanted to assure the wolf that she wasn't alone on this journey. It was more if a relief to Vires because she thought she was the only one that left without a purpose only a set ending goal. Which was extremely difficult to achieve in such a short amount of time given to her on this earth. "It's hard wanting to be happy but not knowing what will make you happy, sometimes I just feel so utterly....lost." Vires spoke, trying to see if the female felt the same.
There were times when she wondered what it would be like had she never left. Perhaps nothing would have truly changed about her and she would just be there instead of here right now, but deep in her heart of hearts, she had felt a leave necessary. After Mizuna's death and once the avenging was done, she had felt that getting away was best -- otherwise, she may have spiraled into nothingness and an unfitting existence.
Amekaze exhaled a sigh and agreed. Indeed. I seek something so abstract, too, and it has not been easy to know how to approach this.. need.
She understood feeling lost, despite never wishing to admit it freely. However, my travels have provided much that staying on the mountain could never have..
she rolled her shoulders and resigned to believe this, despite missing her birthplace. Her time had not been wasted.
Do you think you will find what you desire here?
Amekaze did not specify how near or far "here" was meant to encompass and left that to Vires. She often wondered the same for herself, as she had evidently come to find a home here in this immediate region despite not having a singular territory to tie herself down.
i want to bleed in the 「r a i n」
Ame asked Vires if she thought she would find what she was looking for here. Vires gave a low chuckle and spoke softly. "I can only hope, I thought that starting a new life with a new pack would have been the best thing. " Vires felt as though she didn't need to go into detail, Ame had already met with Pied and probably heard what happened to her pack. "Look how well that turned out." Vires sighed and tried not to remember her broken pack. To turn her thoughts away she asked Ame the same question. "And you? Will you find what you're looking for here?"
Vires held onto hope for her future despite the pack not exactly flourishing, which she found admirable enough. It was times like these when she was almost thankful a pack had not snatched her interests in full. She would suffer under a weak pack and for herself, she would have none of it, not when it was still manageable to live on her own. However, the days of that could be numbered.
Maybe,
she replied. She would like to find it here. Although maybe not. Time will have to tell,
Amekaze added with a subtle huff. Her breath hung on the chilly air. Until then, my search continues and perhaps our paths will cross again,
she murmured as she rose to her paws. With a parting tip of her muzzle, she bid her silent farewell and began to be on her way. Vires had made for better company than the Rikudōu had anticipating in the beginning, so this had been far from time wasted, but she could not sit idly for long. There was always much to accomplish, especially with thoughts of her search so fresh and clear. She had to be getting to it.
i want to bleed in the 「r a i n」
Onward and inward their searches for happiness went.