Lost Creek Hollow piano black

The more Shadowpup thought about it the more it all made sense.

Papa never really touched Mom… and both Enelise and Esma looked a whole lot older. They were both so much taller and more athletic than herself, who looked more like a string bean than a juvenile wolf.

So was it true? Ash Paw wasn’t her mom?

These thoughts played on loop in her mind as she looked all across Riverclan for Stormpup, who was nowhere to be found. Then, an intrusive thought. Maybe Stormpup wasn’t even her brother.

Ash Paw was not prone to bouts of melancholy or coddling, but she had grown a bit softer with motherhood. But she also didn't want to be intrusive. 

She had heard among the grapevine of what transpired and set herself out to be seen and see.

She came across one of her adopted children and chuffed gently. She settled herself to her hainches and sat erect and queenly. Different colors in her pelt and blue eyes on the child. She would be there if Shadow pup wished to speak. Or for a hug, or she would move away if that was requested too. 

Frankly she couldn't answer much for it was not her place and some things she didn't know.

When Shadowpup laid eyes upon Ash Paw a flurry of unreconciled emotions made her heart race. She wanted to run away just as badly as she wished to be embraced and comforted. Where was her place in the world? She felt lost, adrift, and homeless.

Her body posture was wilted like a dying plant. She inched towards Ash Paw.

“Mom? Are you my… my real mom?” she asked pointedly.

Ash Paw didn't reach out, not yet. Though she did adjust her seat and her paw width, so her daughter could curl into her if she wished. How she wished to take this pain away for her, but sometimea realities were hard.

Ash Paw felt a tightening in her chest, and her throat. She swallowed, but spoke.

I didn't birth you, but you are mine. I am your mother. Blood doesn't bind. You can have family in those that care and those that love.

Now Ash Paw reached a paw out, to curl around the pups own. If she would allow her. To hold her as she had when she was scared and hurt as a much younger little one.

The truth made Shadowpup’s blood turn to ice like a winter river. Immobilized, she whimpered and thought back to all the good memories she had of Tia Plata. Most of all, she felt confused. Why, why why? her mind repeated.

Her family view shattered into a million pieces as reality’s dark shadow eclipsed the light in her life. Feeling adrift, the girl threw herself into Ash Paw’s embrace.

“Mooomm,” she moaned and sobbed. “Tia Plata… Tia Plata didn’t want me??”

Ash Paw rocked back a little with the weight of the girl, but she held fast. Gentle murmurings on tongue, to fall on current deaf ears as her daughter slid into her grief. This was something they should have addressed from the get go, but Silver had asked her not too. And even now the Star was unsure exactly what to do or say? What could one say when another's whole world was shattered and you were in part the reason why?

How could she assuage that guilt? She didn't think you could, it would be there for the rest of her life. All she could hope for was to keep it and learn from it.

Ash Paw's ears shot up and she shook her head vehemently. OH goodness no my darling. Tia Plata, well she was fearful that she wouldn't be a good mother. That she wouldn't be able to be as present as she wished. You see sometimes bad things happen to you and it affects you even long after it is over. But you never ever wonder if she didn't want you, because it's simply not true. She loves you.

Ash Paw hummed softly as she thought of what to say. think of it this way. We all love you so much, that we all shared the care of you. Didn't we? Both you and Stormpup we all just love you so much that we shared.

Shadowpup buried her face into her mom’s belly fur as she held Ash Paw tightly. Her tears made a big damp spot as she sniffled, and sobbed. The gentle rocking calmed her a little… at least enough to hear her mother’s voice over her own wailing.

As she cried, the young girl tried her best to understand Tia’s perspective, but her emotions were running like water from an open faucet. Silvertongue loved Shadowpup… but not enough to try to be her mom? How could someone be cruel enough to have one foot in her life, but the other foot out the door? Did she want her, or not?

She grit her teeth. Anger, disappointment, and loneliness ran through her blood. Shadowpup lived in a black-and-white world, but she couldn’t see or understand the gray.

“T-Tia Plata would have been a good mom!” she lamented, sadly.

“T-That man. He did something to her! Something bad!” That man being Germanicus.

Ash paw was unbothered by the snot and tears. They would wash out and she had taken care of her darling since birth.

Ash Paw felt it like a geinding pain in her chest at the words that Tia Plata would have been a good mom. Irrational she felt upset by this, but she didn't reqct to her sadness or guilt because it wasn't fair and she would have, was.

Yes she would have. She would have been amazing. a gentle brush of her muzzle to her daughters head.

i am not sure if he did. I'm afraid i don't know the whole story.

Ash Paw comforted Shaowpup like she was her own flesh and blood.

However, no further light illuminated the secretive drama between Germanicus, Crowfeather, Silvertongue, and Wren.

Shadowpup’s whimpering became quiet, though her tears continued to flow.

“W-what about Papa? Is… is he my dad?”

Every connection Shadowpup ever made could not avoid scrutinization.

There wasn't much that Ash Paw could do in the moment of devastation. All she could do was hold tight and hope it was enough.

Ash herself didn't know what all the secretes between the wolves entail3d
 She had only offered to keep the children safe and loved as her own. She didn't ask why.

he is your dad. Yes.

Crowfeather remained her father. It was the one anchor that kept Shadowpup docked instead of drifting away. She held Ash Paw close, whimpering, but didn’t say another word as her small body proccessed all of the emotions she felt.

Eventually, she would grow tired and fall fast asleep in her mother’s arms.