Blackfeather Woods Once a year we celebrate

...with stupid hats and plastic plates...

A year had passed since he'd been born. An entire year, one full trip around the sun. He could not remember the day in which he'd entered the world, or much of the time that had followed it, but he knew he was growing. The way that the day had looked back then was something he could not recall, nor were the vivid colours that used to fill the space behind his eyelids. It was all lost on him, and even his mother's face had started to fade from his memory. No longer did looking at his reflection jog his memory, for no longer did he see her within himself. He had grown up without her, he had slithered his way through the first year of his life without her, and that was okay. Along with her memory, his grudge had faded, allowing for him to breathe far easier. On that day especially, he felt most at ease, for he understand that he'd lasted so long without her already, and that he could push through many years to come. He had his father—who had informed him the night prior how the stars lined up the same way as the night before his birth—and Nemesis, and they were the only two parental figures that he needed in his life. They were his family, forever and always.

Alexander had met with his father earlier in the morning, having wished to share with him such a momentous day. Though he'd peeked in on Nemesis, he'd not bothered her, having chosen instead to take off for the day and wander throughout the woods. Each step revealed something new to him, for each day that passed brought more life with it. It wouldn't be for much longer before the foliage had returned entirely, so then he might be able to traverse Blackfeather whenever he pleased without the risk of irritating his eyes. He thought of things, such as his past, as well as of his sisters. Were they alright? Had they, too, made it through their first year of life? He did not hold the answers to his unasked questions, nor did he know of anyone that might. They had all gone away long ago, having chosen a life for themselves that he was not apart of. There were times in which it still hurt when he thought back to that fateful day, for it was the only memory from back then that stood out clearly. He could remember every second of it, every emotion, too, as if it'd happened only a few moments ago. Today, however, he had not allowed for such feelings to resurface, for it was a day to celebrate. A day to bask in his own glory, and reflect upon the life that he was currently living.

The more he thought about his current home, the more his skin seemed to crawl beneath his fur. He did not fear the place, but with things returning to normal and his mind calming itself down, he was struck by the urge to travel. To where, he did not know, but he wished to see what all laid beyond the borders. He wanted to learn about the entirety of Teekon, and to see as many marvelous sights as possible. Yet, it was not near to the borders that he'd found himself settling, but rather near to the grove that had housed the late queen's bones for so long. He did not enter the space, however, situating himself directly outside of it instead and simply peering in. He sought some sort of sign, perhaps, that might tell him that his desires were to be fulfilled, but knew not where to look.

Sorry about the length, Kuro!
I'll make an effort to match your posts if I ever catch up with all my threads *cries*

Damien wouldn't have guessed it was the young Inuit's birth day that day. He happened to encounter the pale boy by chance, having been scanning over the land to see if there were any signs of the herds returning. He had found none, and felt powerless against the hunger.

The boy was idle, and Damien approached silently. He held his tail high, as if announcing he was in charge now as opposed to the last time they'd truly interacted. Xan had been a pain in the ass just months ago, but Damien had the intention to see where Kove's son future pointed now that he was more adult-like.

*apologizes with candies*
Also, shoooort post.

Though he'd waited, no signs had been offered. Despite that, he'd not departed, having instead decided to stay for a little while longer in the hopes that something—anything—might appear. And, in a way, he'd eventually gotten his wish. As he'd turned, ready to relocate to a space that might give to him better results, he'd been met with the familiar face of his mentor-turned-enemy. Even though the boy had supported his father's views, he'd not been as glad as the older wolf had when there'd been a change in the leadership. Despite his own feelings, he'd not displayed any of his usual aggression. Rather, he'd continued with his original plan to stand, and then turned away to leave. As far as he was concerned, there was no business between them in need of addressing, and so he'd continue his walk away if permitted to do so.

With as little as Damien knew about the Inuit child, Xan was a wild card for Damien, a mystery of sorts, but he had all the intentions to figure him out now that he was in charge. Kove had been the closest thing that Damien had to a father now that his mother's paramour had become a worthless traitor, and Kove had been around to see his first days. Xan was Kove's blood, and even though Damien's first encounter with him had been close to disastrous he wanted to know what he was, for those that were the most problematic always tend to have hidden talents that were simply unexploited.

But they started with the wrong foot once again as Alexander's first reaction upon seeing Damien was to avoid him. "Don't walk away from me, kid," called the shadow prince in response, standing regally with a harsh look. If Xan continued to walk away, he would earn himself and Kove one problem they did not need.

Distance had been desired, but not received. He'd been called after, the words enough to make him stop, but not as an act of obedience. This time around, Xan knew to tread carefully, having experienced firsthand what happens when the other's words weren't acknowledged. Still, even though he'd stopped, he'd not returned to his previous spot. His body was turned so that he could face Damien, but aside from that he'd made no indications that he planned to approach. "I'm not a kid," he'd stated, voice being kept stable for the moment. The thought of being humiliated again didn't sit right within his stomach, almost making him feel sick as he swore he'd felt the warmth of urine spilling over his back once more. But, there was nothing actually there.

Shifting his weight, he'd looked elsewhere, ready to be sent on his way. "What do you want?" His tone was a bit harsher than he'd intended, and so it was directly afterwards that he'd fallen silent for a solid minute or two. "I just want to go." But where, he didn't yet know. Away from Damien, that was for sure, but from there he just didn't know.

The tone in which he was spoken to sent a discharge of anger down his chest, lighting up a growl that he had to make an effort to keep down. "The way you act makes it hard to notice," said Damien in an angered tone referring to his childish and irreverent behavior.

A scarred lip twitched at Alexander's daring tone, and one step closer was taken by the shadow prince, pressing past the pale boy's comfort zone. "You go when I tell you to go," he stated harshly as a deep scowl grimaced his face. "You need to understand that there is a hierarchy you need to respect, otherwise you will continue to be pushed down until you either learn or get broken." he warned, rolling a menacing growl towards the end of his sentence. Eyes like two shards of ice locked with Xan's own demonic eyes for a moment, emphasizing his dominion over the Inuit boy, but then Damien retreated a few steps back to give the yearling some space.

"Where did you want to go?" asked the dark master then, having mixed feelings about the possibility of the kid's permanent departure.

A retort had swept its way along his tongue, but he'd kept his jaws clamped shut to prevent it from escaping. There was little he could say, anyways, that wouldn't result in the same situation he'd last been placed into. Thus, the best course of action, for the time being, was to stay silent. He knew he wasn't a child, and never did he view his own behavior as being immature, which was all that currently mattered. As long as he remained aware of his opinion towards himself, then all would be well.

Xan had been unable to correct his previously used tone, however, and his mistake was made known the moment his personal space was invaded. Of course, he'd responded by moving back for he'd never appreciated other bodies being so close to his own, as well as because there wasn't an ounce of trust within him that could be felt towards the Prince of Shadows. For him, fear could be felt, but never trust. At the end of the day, he'd sooner bet on a bird saving him than he would Damien. So when respect was brought up, he'd inserted his two cents into the subject by saying, "I understand it exists, but I can't give my respect to anyone unless they've earned it." In other words, he needed a real reason to obey, rather than only because he didn't want to be harmed.

What space had been taken up had been returned thereafter, but the steps that he'd taken himself were not given back. He'd stayed right where he'd previously relocated to, never against the idea of more space being given to him than absolutely necessary. He could still hear, and that was what was most important in that moment, for there'd come a question. Not a demand or command, but an actual inquiry. "I don't know," was all he'd been able to say in response to it at first, however, since that was the truth. He didn't yet know where he wanted to go, he just knew that he wanted to go somewhere. So he hadn't elaborated upon what he'd said, instead having asked, "Would it matter if I had an actual answer?" Xan didn't believe that it would. "You wouldn't care if I didn't come back, right?" In truth, the Inuit did not wish to leave, for the woods was where his family resided. But he felt that he needed to know what the answer would be.

I dunno what I'm doing, oops

Fear was enough reason to obey for Damien. It came as a handy tool when individuals like Alexander knew not where to stop pushing boundaries. The boy had come to Blackfeather Woods as an offering from his father to the Brotherhood, some sort of investment that, so far, had not paid off. An urge to snap the yearling's neck broken made Damien's lip twitch again, but he held back again, letting off steam through a gurgling snarl instead.

"That's exactly where you're wrong," pointed the shadow prince before having pulled back, "You are the one that need to earn that respect, that's why everyone remains superior to you still," he explained as though it was obvious. There was, indeed, a fire in Xan's soul, he had many things right, but that potential needed to be put to use or he would become disposable for Blackfeather Woods' purpose.

"It could change everything," was what Damien answered to Xan's seemingly rhetorical question. So far there had been no confirmation to where or how far Xan wanted to go, but Damien wouldn't be the one to hold him back.

Another question was laid out, one to which Damien probably didn't have an answer that would please the young Inuit. "Your parents would," he answered, "And they are my family too," he added, but fell silent afterwards, expecting the boy to make up his mind.

Corrected, as per usual. Ears laid flat against his cranium, eyes finding somewhere else to focus on. He resembled, to put it simply, a child that had just been scolded by his parent, minus the pouting. "Not everyone is superior to me," he'd tried to counter, speaking what he believed to be the truth. He'd been there longer than some, so surely he was above them, in the very least. Even that wasn't enough for him, though, as conceited as he was. Xan had a drive to be the best, even if his desire had lessened almost unnaturally so in light of recent events. Always was he in trouble, and always was he humiliated. It bothered him and, while he'd never admit it, had left a mark on the boy's aspirations.

Once more, he was proven to be wrong. It seemed as if, had he possessed an actual answer, it would have mattered. A change to everything could have been made, as the elder male had so finely put it, but Xan was skeptical. He didn't believe him—didn't want to believe him—and so he'd fallen silent thereafter. It would not have mattered. His predicament would have remained the same, as would have everything else. Still would he always be teetering on the verge of rejection from the pack, for that was how he'd unknowingly made his life to be.

The answer that he'd been awaiting was delivered soon after, attracting his attention, but coming nowhere close to easing whatever concerns he might have held. "But I'm not your family?" he'd voiced, having meant for it to come out as a statement, but was ultimately betrayed by his own tongue. In truth, he was happy with having his parents, but just as his father had a void from having lost his daughters, Xan had some microscopic piece missing from having been abandoned by his sisters.

I still have no idea what I'm doing, omfg. This is what happens when I type at 3-something in the morning, o k
Also, 300th post to you~!

maaaan I love when a thread just randomly becomes deeper than it's meant to be lmao

The boy countered the statement made by the dark prince, whose lips pursed as he realized his words had probably been too harsh. Xan was not the worst of Blackfeather Woods, in the end he would always be of Kove's blood, and something good was bound to come out of him. "Then prove it," Said Damien in both encouragement and challenge, trying to give the yearling something to strive for. Xan only needed to improve his chances of climbing up the ranks once more by actually doing something useful for the pack.

An unsettling feel of betrayal oozed from Xan's words as he replied to Damien's attempt of offering the boy some solace with a direct question. Kove was family, he was the closest thing to an older brother, or even a father that Damien had left. Nemesis, although would always be Damien's biggest rival, would also remain his sister by oath eternally. Xan was their son. In some way, Damien had always seen the child as another rival, one that he needed to discipline in order to right his own wrongs, but in that same sense, although unknowingly, Damien saw himself reflected in the yearling.

"Is that what you want?" was all Damien could loose his tongue to say, even though the Xan's tone had already betrayed his thoughts. "You came here for a reason, Xan. Kove brought you to become one of us, to join our family, but so far you've only ever defied our way of life," he stated, picking his words carefully to avoid igniting the wrong drive from the younger one's volatile emotions. His voice had become calmer as he tried to find some empathy from and towards the yearling. Damien had not forgotten that he had once taken as a mission to mentor the kid and show him the ways of the Dark Brotherhood, and he would remember it for as much as it took him to accomplish said goal. Perhaps today he would get one step closer, but that would only ever happen if Xan himself allowed the dark prince to show him the right direction.

Challenged and encouraged all at once, but he'd said nothing more in response to the words. He would prove it, someday, he was sure. To be the best that there was had always been his goal, to achieve the respect that his father held was something that he desired, and so there'd come a day in which he'd acquire it all for himself. He knew it to be true, though he was no seer, for his drive was just as strong as it'd ever been. Though it was often that his efforts were put into acts that only ever harmed himself, he usually meant well, and eventually there'd be someone that could see that. Someone that could balance him out and keep him focused on what was real—what was necessary—and lead him closer to his goal.

With a question directed his way, he'd averted his gaze towards the ground, knowing already that his answer was obvious enough. It was something that he wanted, but not something that he knew he'd be able to hold onto. The idea of having a family again appealed to some part of his mind, but always did there linger that nagging fear that, just as had happened before, he'd be abandoned. Left all alone and with no one to look towards beside his father; Alexander respect the elder Inuit, and truly loved him, but he knew himself to need more than just a father. Yet, it was always that he seemed to mess things up for himself, ruining each opportunity that had been given to him until it'd come to seem as if he was nothing more than a disposable, unwanted weight. It wasn't entirely his fault, though, which was a point that he'd not missed out on the chance to make.

"No one wanted me here," mumbled the boy, revealing what he'd believed to be the truth all along. There'd been no one that had wanted him to live there, his father and Meldresi excluded. It was only due to the Queen's word that he'd been permitted to stay, but for a long while after that he'd only ever been reminded of how he wasn't meant to be there. How easy it would have been for him to be thrown out, and how easily he could have ruined his father's life, too. "I wasn't wanted here. I was only ever allowed to stay because Meldresi had said I could, but she's gone..." It felt to him as if there existed no one within his corner aside from his dad, and he was only there due to their shared blood. He knew Kove would support him, but the others? They wanted him removed for good, he was certain of it.

The boy's displeasure with Blackfeather Woods was evident, and Damien feared that, like his own sister, the pale yearling would one day find out that the dark of the forest could be hard to fight. It made the heart cold, the thoughts cold, and sooner or later it brought pain to each that called it home.

But Xan was still easy to sway back into the good side of the pack. He'd been given shelter there, and a chance to make something of himself. It was only his choice whether he wanted to take it, and so far he'd done nothing in his favor. He'd said it, Meldresi had wanted him there, and if she did it was because she saw the potential that existed in a young soul. Damien and his siblings were there to continue what she started, and he too saw the promise that existed in a younger, malleable wolf. But, had Xan come to Blackfeather Woods too late?

"Burke sure didn't," Damien assured, responding to the yearling's claim that no one ever wanted him in Blackfeather Woods, "but he's gone," he added, suggesting that everything had changed since the traitor banished. "He was no replacement to my mother, but my siblings, your parents and I know what she saw on you, why she allowed you to stay. You were promised to The Brotherhood, but it's only in you to decide whether you're willing to do what it takes to become," he spoke encouragingly, looking intensely into the Inuit's strange, bi-toned eyes.

It was almost laughable, in a way, to think that the one that had wanted him gone so badly had ended up having himself cast out instead. Though there existed no longer a being within the woods that wanted him gone as badly as the former leader had, Xan still felt as if he didn’t belong. He’d not been born within the darkness, and had been brought to it only because of his father. At times, he believed so strongly that it was only because of the elder Inuit that the word had ever been given for him to stay. He was an offering, a promised soldier in a war that he knew nothing about, and it was only for those reasons that he’d been given a place there. Within Blackfeather, Alexander did not exist—there was only Kove’s son, and that was how it’d always been. The thoughts had existed within his mind for such a great amount of time that he no longer knew when they’d first appeared, or from where they’d come. He knew only that they were there, and that they’d then been shattered by the other male’s words.

Meldresi had seen something in him.

Not because he was his father’s son, but because he was himself. It was true that he’d been promised to the Brotherhood, but time and time again had there been an opportunity for them to get rid of him; to send him away with their teeth, or to end it permanently by killing him. Yet, neither of those scenarios had played out. Chance after chance had he been given, but never had he taken them—until now. Another chance was offered with motivational words and, whilst it was likely that his doubt would not vanish entirely for quite some time, he’d reached out for it.

“I want to join the family,” he’d decided. “I want to become a member of the Brotherhood, like my dad. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

Perhaps if things hadn't gone sideways that first time, if Xan had just been a little more receptive and Damien a tad more tolerant, if things had been different, Xan would already be a part of the Dark Brotherhood. Meldresi had wanted him for that purpose, and if she did, Damien agreed. Alexander was the son of Blackfeather Woods biggest loyalist, and the honor of following his father's steps was Xan's by right of birth.

But he revealed that he still wanted to become, that there was still purpose in him, and that made Damien feel just a little bit more tranquil. "I'm glad to hear that," Damien responded, half smiling at the younger boy with renewed pride. These last few minutes of conversation had probably turned things around, perhaps for the better, and Damien already felt like there were things to win from this.

"I expect that you know now what you have to do to earn your mark," he assumed, considering that he was Kove's son. "If you feel lost, just come to one of us and we will point you in the right direction," he explained, already thinking of a few tasks he could delegate to the Tyro. "Make her proud, Xan, and your dad too," he added, feeling that was the most important part.

When he’d first seen Damien, he’d wanted to run. To head off to a different location and remain there until the coast was clear. Given the way in which their meetings tended to go, he’d been against the idea of remaining there entirely, but realized now that he would have missed out on so much had he run off. On some level, the two had connected, an understanding of one another being found. Towards the discovery, the yearling knew not what to do, but he’d chosen not to act against it. There he was, being offered yet another chance at the greatness he so longed for, and so he’d not refuse it. If there was something that he could do that might better his relations with the others living inside of the woods, then he’d do so, if only to achieve the mark that he desired—and to, once again, have a family that he could truly call his own.

There came no more words for him to speak, a verbal response to the older male refusing to form. So, he’d nodded, intending to do just as was said. Alexander would honour Meldresi’s memory in some way, he would make both her and his father proud. And though a lot of work would need to go into doing so, he was confident that he’d be able to complete every task that might be thrown at him. The late queen had seen something in the boy, and she’d granted him access into her home when she could have easily turned him away. For that, he owed her, and wanted to make things even.

With another nod, Xan would remain there until he was dismissed. Thereafter, he’d take his leave through the woods, intending to find something constructive that he might be able to use his time for. A path had been laid out before him, each necessary step clearly visible, and the young Inuk had every intention of following it for as long as he might be able to.