Blacktail Deer Plateau I just called to say I love you.

@Easy and @Dauntless: say goodbye to Momma Khoe.

It hadn't been too difficult finding her way to the new settlement, partially because she'd already had an idea of where she was supposed to be headed. Khoe didn't know what she would say once she got there; an apology didn't seem like enough, but they were just kids, so the truth seemed like too much. Maybe she could make up a story, assure them that Momma would be back as soon as possible, but that was an empty promise that she couldn't keep her word on. 

Sitting there at the border, a pile of lavender with faint traces of Easy's sweet, baby scent lining its rim, Khoe knew that this was the beginning of the end.

She was doing it again, leaving behind her responsibilities out of fear, only this time there was no excuse. She was leaving because she was afraid, and she was destroying the hearts of her children in the process. If she'd had the energy, she might have wept, might have wailed her despair for all to hear, but Khoe wanted to keep her composure, if only for the kids. And if Grayday appeared, well, she hadn't made it that far.

Dauntless had been following his sisters when they went out exploring. He normally did not like to go too far from their sleeping area, but today he kept quiet when they started to wander further and further away. He felt differently today - like he needed to go far with his siblings. Besides, there were no other wolves around today to keep him company. They must have all been off hunting or exploring.

He felt some of his usual apprehension creeping in when the three of them started getting closer to the boundary. He hoped his sisters wouldn't try to cross the boundary, it was something they had been strictly forbidden to do by Grayday. He opened his mouth to start to say so, but then stopped when a familiar scent wafted his way, reminding him instantaneously of a warm den, a belly full of rich milk, and the soft black fur of his mother. Dauntless stopped in his tracks, turning his head toward the scent. He was so engrossed in what he was experiencing that he did not notice if his sisters had stopped as well.

Beat. Beat. Beat.

Time seemed to slow. She heard Lavender's cheerful voice as if from underwater, and she saw Dauntless's stalk-still form with perfect, pristine clarity. The storm of breath she sucked in was loud in her ears, alongside the uneven pound of her heart, and the rush of blood in her ears. Every breath was too slow, and she needed to be certain, she need to know for sure that this wasn't her imagination.

But that scent, changed as it was, was one she would never forget. And in her mind, all she could think was that it worked. Momma smelled the flowers and came. The line she'd been about to show her siblings had succeeded in bringing their mother home. It was all she could think, but when she opened her mouth to tell them, the only think that came out was a shrill and ragged cry -

Momma!

And at once, all three were off, bounding toward the one they'd missed so much on a mess of short, gangly limbs and sharp, desperate whines. She was back - and Easy tumbled into her with a sob of pent-up longing and disbelieving joy.

My babies, my babies.

Khoe could almost feel herself shattering under the weight of her pain, her guilt, her sorrow — but more so, the longing of her children. In all of this, she had realized just how much she had neglected to consider the effect that it would have had on the pups, the suffering they would endure in growing up without a mother. Her eyes fell onto Lavender, her favorite of the three, and she had to force them to shut to keep from stealing her away and running while she had the chance.

Not that she had much standing anyway; the kids were nearing her height. Khoe had missed so much.

Baby, she whispered in Easy's grey fur, taking in the deepest breath of her scent that she could. Oh, my babies. Khoe grabbed Dauntless by the scruff and forced him into her lap, then did the same to Lavender so that all three were cuddled safely into her chest. For a moment, she considered staying, just for them, but she knew that it was an unreasonable want. She only had so long before Grayday came looking, and that was surely something she didn't want the kids to see.

And just like that, she was back! Dauntless could hardly believe what was happening, but his sisters' excited yips and whines verified that this was no apparition. He was growing to be quite a reserved young wolf and he rarely spoke, especially if his sisters were around - they seemed to do all the talking that was necessary. Dauntless preferred to quietly observe the world from the sidelines. And so, he kept quiet except to grunt when his mother pulled him in close. His body, however, betrayed his happiness by trembling with content. He snuggled close to her warm, familiar body. He had no idea she would only be here a short while. "Mamma..." he finally murmured in a small, drowsy voice as he rubbed his cheek and muzzle back and forth across Khoe's black silken chest.

Easy couldn't stop crying. She could hardly breathe through the force of the sobs that wracked her body, but how could she help it? Even though this was - ostensibly - a very happy moment, all she could feel was the desperation of the weeks leading up to it, and the trauma of missing her mother for so long. It was so jarring to suddenly be in her arms again, and though she couldn't seem to get close enough to the beloved woman, she also had a strange, discomforting feeling in the pit of her stomach that this couldn't last for long.

At one point, Khoe thought that she was imagining all of this. She thought that she'd never met Grayday, never had her pups, never left them behind; rather, she wished. She wished that things had never gone so left and that she'd lived a normal life with a mate who she loved and children who grew more and more each day, but instead, she'd been given the short end. Listen, she whispered, though her voice was rough and came out as a croak, Mama can't stay for very long. I'll be back, she wanted to add, but Khoe didn't want to tell another lie.

Dauntless instantly registered his mother's distress and stiffened against her. He could tell his sisters had become upset as well. At Khoe's words, he felt himself start to shut down and go numb. She wasn't staying? In some ways, it seemed that this was inevitable.... yet, in others it seemed like reality was crashing in on him. He started to cry pitifully, not sure what else to do. He hoped his sisters would beg their mother to stay. He would do so himself, but they were so much better at communicating their feelings than he was. In the meantime, he just cried in a harsh, rasping way.

At Khoe's words, Easy just cried harder. They were not shocking, of course. Part of her had known that she'd never truly get her mother back. Still, as reality settled in on her, she found herself so overcome with sorrow that she could not even breathe through her tears, and her chest began to ache for want of air.

Even through her physical distress, she tried to question the dark woman, tried to ask why - but she couldn't squeeze any more air out of her lungs, and found herself quite unable to do anything other than gasp for breath, and wail when her lungs allowed for it. This was all just so terrible - like a dream turned into a nightmare from which her father was unable to wake her.

And, quite suddenly, she knew exactly what would make everything better.

"Daddy!" Easy shrieked, tearing herself away from her mother's embrace. "DADDY!" she called again, stumbling a few steps forward. "DADDY, HELP!"