Fox's Glade She told me that I'm not enough

@Olive *cracks knuckles* whoo boy here we go.

Something wasn't quite right in his mind. He hadn't felt this much rage, this much pain, this much unsettling bloodlust since Oxsana had been shredded and found bloody and deceased beside the bodies of his children. He wasn't himself in the moment yet even then he needed to check something. He'd left Cassiopeia lying in the Glade bleeding and angry, he had to check and make sure she was up and gone and not laying there dead. It was days later, so if she was there she'd be long dead but still he needed at least that small sense of peace of mind.

Never had he expected the scent that basically smacked him across the face like an afront from the gods. Unable to hold it back he ran into the clearing and saw her there and even in his anger he caught his breath. Eyes like moss, white fur so beautiful and soft he could still almost feel it brushing against him. She was so damn beautiful in every way and he fucking hated it. Snapping out of it he released his breath and shook himself out of the fog. Onyx was his, he loved Onyx and her beauty was much more valuable to him because it held no betrayal or pain. "You. You're no Anthousai. You are an Empousa, you seduce men and enchant them, take everything from them and fucking drain the life from them!" he spat at her his words already venomous as he circled her, giving no option for escape. 

He looked her over and shook his head, not done speaking, not wanting to hear her voice, that voice that enchanted him and haunted his dreams even still. "I risked my life to be with you. Hunted for you. Took beatings,lost my memories for you. I was dragged back into Blackfeather's mess because of you! I fought for you, defended you, gave you comfort and sought nothing but your love and you...you Abandoned me for the gods that allowed our lives to be such hell!" he shouted this at her, his face twisted with pain and anger. 

Finally he stopped circling like a starved beast and paused in her face, staring her in the eyes, moss green to electric blue. "And you've waltzed around like nothing happened. Spreading lies. Cassiopeia knows nothing of what you did, only that her da was a coward and her Empousa mother a saint! You try to run away from this Olive and I swear I'll tackle you to these fields." he hissed in her face, muzzle inches from hers. This wasn't a side of Dakarai anyone had seen before, this was the Svartell darkness incarnate. He was so enraged and so far gone that he hadn't noticed the scent of pregnancy covering her pelt.

One moment Olive was napping blissfully in the weak winter sunlight, and the next she was being verbally accosted by her ex-husband.

His sudden, sporadic reappearances no longer surprised her.

This time, however, the man appeared incensed! A beast, stalking about and hunting her! Blinking against his form in the sunlight, the woman picked up her head and did her best train her gaze on him as he walked around her, stiff legged and spitting. He spoke so quickly and so venomously that it was difficult for her to ascertain specifically why he was targeting her and rehashing their entire past needlessly — but the lamb had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with her introduction to Onyx.

The pale druid also felt safe in assuming that Dakarai was puttin’ on the ritz, and he would not truly hurt or tackle her as he so insinuated. Olive did not even truly take offense to these things, as she truly understood Dakarai’s volatile temper and his tendency to lash out. This was not the first time he had yelled at her — he always regretted it later, this she knew — but Olive also knew that, after this encounter, Dakarai would disappear once more and would stay hidden until he needed something from her, whether that be her love or her healing or her body as punching bag. He was a man who wanted.

Olive pulled her frame from where it lay upon the earth and turned to face her dark knight fully. She swallowed thickly, waited for him to find the end of his tirade, and then responded in a painstakingly slow tone and an eerily calm demeanor. “If you don’t like what was said, maybe you should have been there to change the conversation.” It was this that the mother always came back to, when she was in the depths of her despair and missed the sweet love that Dakarai had so freely proffered. “You didn’t need to be there for me — you needed to be there for your children. I didn’t keep them from you.” Agitated, her finely feathered ears swiveled from the top of her crown to the nape of her skulls; perhaps the only outward indication of the inward frustration she felt. Olive pressed her eyes tightly closed and grit her teeth, trying to mitigate the rising emotions. How many times must she explain this to him?

“The fact is, I raised that child alone. I won’t allow my parenting to be judged — and definitely not by you.”

Olive took a step forward, feeling the inner flames begin to jump in her belly and lick the back of her throat. Her resolve was beginning to wear, as it usually did when awoken from a nap to insults and accusations. “Pray tell, what would you have had me say to your daughter when she sobbed and begged and pleaded every night that you might return to us? Should I have burdened a child with the intricacies of our relationship, or should I have told her the truth: that you left and you did not come back?” Olive’s upper lip gave a kittenish quiver, and she held Dakarai’s gaze with an intensity that was coming to mirror his own. Aries too had disappeared at the same time, which was a burden that also had weighed upon the mother/daughter pair. “Her father was there, and then he wasn’t. If you believe anything else, then you are the one lying — to yourself." The last word was spat at Dakarai’s feet. "You are the maker of your own bed, and though you clearly feel guilty for what you've wrought, you must now lie in it.” Olive lashed her tail and she made to leave. The conversation was over, and nothing productive would come of it.

— but then, Olive stopped in the midst of her exit and peered over her shoulder, thousands of words and insults and pointless things barking in the back of her mind, begging to be uttered by her virginal tongue. Oh, certainly not all was said and done!

The shedevil took a sweeping step back towards Dakarai, calling out to him in a voice that took on an illustrious and noble appearance. “Do you know how many tragedies have befallen me since you left? None. Absolutely none.” It wasn’t a necessary point to make, but Olive wanted to have said it because she wanted Dakarai to hurt as she hurt. The woman wanted her lover to know just how sweet life could be without him; how she could not only survive alone, but thrive! Even her ability to bring life into this world was not contingent upon him, as it once had been. This was her ultimate emancipation.

“I met Onyx,” the woman sneered, narrowing her gaze sharply. “but you must know that already. The sylph stuck out her coal tipped maw, drew in his scent and, lo and behold, found it to intermingle with another’s. Slut, Olive thought vehemently, but was quick to remind herself that Dakarai was no longer hers, that Onyx was not the one who deserved blame, and that Oynx was not the one here who had conceived a fatherless litter. But still, what a whore! “It was not an accident. She sought me out. The girl was in quite a state,” The ash-and-bone sylph tittered maternally. “She seemed truly terrified, and I could empathize. I know how it feels to be so beaten down by the world that you’re frightened of your own shadow.” She knew it far too well.

“Forgive me, but there seemed to be a common denominator in both of our sob stories.” Olive's entire body felt taut and tight, holding energy within her frame so that she could make a quick escape, if needed. “You.”  

She stood her ground to him and once he'd finished spoke. Except it was words that he couldn't believe she dared to utter. He stared at her like she was a stranger instead of the woman he'd taken so many injuries for. "Perhaps I wouldn't have ran if you hadn't denied me. You've heard how I disappeared. I almost died twice. Yet I came back to you,crawling to you even as I died." his voice had lowered to a whisper despite the trembling of rage that still caused his body to quake. She went on and on about raising Cassiopeia despite the knowledge that he had not been able to make it back soon enough. 

She asked what he would have done and he snorted. "I would have told her the truth. That her father loved her mother so much he put himself in danger, got injured so many times, starved himself to feed her and the children. I would have told the truth in your position and said that instead of choosing his love I chose the gods. You chose a false path of righteousness sheltered behind invisible deities. Instead of telling a sweet innocent baby girl her father was not good, I would have told the truth no matter how hard it was!" he spoke in an eerily calm voice, staring her down still as she gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. Then she turned to leave and he watched her go, about to bolt forward and make good on his promise and stop her before she turned and waltzed back to him. 


Her words should have Stung but it was in that moment, caused by the stirring of air as she swept toward him that he smelled it. She was pregnant. And he sneered at her, lips curling up in defiance. "No but you've fucked. You have given your body away to a man, who's scent no longer lingers so I assume he isn't around. That's a tragedy in itself. Raising a bastard litter alone and with no pack. You can't even barely hunt for yourself!" yet through those vicious words he was concerned. His damned heart would always hold concern and care for this damned woman. And she spoke of Onyx and he shook his head, eyes sparkling and his mouth parting to erupt with almost manic laughter. "You've earned yourself a bastard litter of innocent babes doomed to die at your paws, while me? I have a woman who not only wants me around, but begs me to stay. She loves me and I love her. She isn't scared of me you daft woman, she's scared of the man who followed her. She's scared of Lonzo,a beast who raped and beat her. A beast I have bowed to protect her from even if it kills me!" He lifted his chin and began to circle her again tail lashing in aggravation.

"She has a man who is willing to provide for her, hold her at night, feed her, laugh with her, love her...die for her. She has what you chose to give up over your deities." he turned to look at her eyes softening in what appeared like a moment of sanity. "Surely you haven't forgotten? How I vowed to protect you and love you, to keep you warm through the nights. How all I asked...all I wanted...was you. Your love. I never asked anything else but your love Olive. I ran from blackfeather for you, threw myself in front of the herd master for your and almost lost everything. I took the majority of the beating when you dragged me back to Blackfeather." he paused as his voice began to crack and his eyes began to tear up. No...he wouldn't do this. His emotions,his heartbreak, they were her fault but they weren't hers to see anymore. 

"After all you knew of me. Oxsana and my children's murders. How could you? I loved you when I was so scared to love anyone else and you not only denied me, but you made our children believe I was no good. If I was no good why did you fall for me? You know damn well I am not who you make out to be, I'm your scapegoat." he continued to vent body taut and ready to leap forward and stop her retreat despite the fact that he felt all of the anger leaving him.

"But that's who you are apparently. You couldn't bear the pain of real life so you sheltered in the false safety of your deities. And when our daughter cried for me, her father, you couldn't bear to admit what you had done so you explained what was easiest. Da doesn't love you cassiopeia, da abandoned us. Yet all Da ever did was set himself up to be broken by a madwoman. We'll see where your God's are when your children are born to a single mother and no pack." he had finished here, he had no more love for this woman. 


He would allow her to speak or if she turned and ran away he'd let her. At this point he was done with this, breaking over Olive and her messed up faith and false righteousness that would only cause other's pain. He hadn't been the only one to make foolish decisions, she had too. "Because of your falsities Cassiopeia attacked me. I put her down right here in this very field. I let her go and told her of your lies though of course nobody would believe me. But think of this: all those natural disasters that kept me away? The storm that swept me into the sea, the snowstorm that kept me from meeting you at Cassiopeia's view? Perhaps your God's were just jealous that you could have survived without them, that you loved me too." he then snapped his jaws shut and watched her, eyes no longer filled with hatred but looking so tired. His whole body sagged, the greying on his face only enhancing the exhausted appearance.

tl;dr “you’re wrong!” “no, you’re wronger!”

Dakarai had so many words to say, and so many of them were wrong and hateful! Beneath the enmity, the fae wilted at how his voice turned against her. Who were they, in this moment; acrimonious strangers, or soul mates forever tied by the bonds of parenthood? It was an uncertainty and pain the struck deep in her chest, and it struck so strongly that it resonated across her entire being, racking her pale, gamine musculature. Olive let him speak as he had let her speak, bracing herself against his insults and dancing over the parts about Onyx. Dakarai seemed to ride upon emotions as volatile as her own — she saw it clearly in his face, and heard it in the fluctuations of his tone.

“I know you don’t want to believe it, but,” she began once again, finding her tongue easily. “You are in control of your reactions. You knew what you risked every time you descended Moonspear, but you left anyways — and you lost your bet, again and again and again. Is it a surprise that you eventually lost me, too?” Her emerald gaze dropped to the forest floor, finally giving voice to the thought that plagued her every night as she closed her eyes to sleep.

“That is how it works…. even I cannot love something that is not there. The gods have always provided for me when you couldn’t — they are the ones that deserve my devotion.”

With sudden ire, Olive’s ears pressed tightly against her skull and a growl blossomed deep in her throat. The banshee spoke through gritted teeth. “Oh, you think that I buy your stories of winter storms and hurricanes, and falling off cliffs and poison? I was a fool to ever have believed these lies.” The brute whom she once loved told a convincing story; in fact, she had believed it for almost a year. It was only until recently that the unlikelihood of all these disastrous events dawned on her — only when his spell upon her had been broken. “If you have almost died so many times, then why aren’t you actually dead?!” The sentiment came out incredulously, as wolves a lot more skilled than Dakarai perished in scenarios far less severe. “Why would the gods keep you alive? Oh, how you lie through your teeth… How you wish and pine for better relationship with your daughter, yet you accost her on this very ground! I see nothing but delusion here!”

“Blame me, blame your shit luck, but when Onyx is spending months alone because you fell in a hole, or were gored by some boar, or drowned and then came back to life or whatever excuse you want to conjure… your new, shiny, bright love will tarnish and fall apart, as ours did. I know, here — in this moment — you feel justified in your grand declarations of adoration… but what trials have you gone through with her? What tests have you overcome together? You say you will protect her — but you also said you would protect me, protect our family… and you failed.” Here Olive’s venomous tirade broke and she hauled in breath, eyes glowering. “What makes Onyx any different?” she uttered between huffs.

“You will fail again, if you continue to pin others for your own doing.”

— whether he wanted her to or not, Olive touched her pale cheek to his and pushed forward, rubbing her temple against the man’s corded neck until she could rest her fine-spun chin upon his shoulder. Something within her lurched forward; the energy that whipped between them was nothing less than electrifying. “Do you still not see, husband?” the sylph spoke in a voice that was a scant whisper. I must cast you aside, for I still love you so… I could not bear to see you die for my sake.” The woman’s tongue breeched her lips to smooth down the fur behind his ear; certain that her actions and words conveyed two different intentions. Olive did not question her intuition, even if it was confusing… and even to herself. You would have done it, no?” The shrouded sylph questioned, taking a step backwards to look upon Dakarai, her forest greens holding his icebergs blues. “Give up your life for me?”

“I know I would have.” the woman admitted feebly. “I did.”

“You must understand, now. Aries and Cassiopeia live on, oh and I am sure Sirius thrives somewhere too, but it is no thanks to you. It is because I gave up everything that they survived, and it is only because I suffer that you have the freedom to run into the arms of another. It was not my choice — I only did as I was instructed…” The weight of this toxic interaction, his close proximity — it broke her. Tear began to flow freely. “You say you loved me, yet you so easily move on.” The woman sobbed. "I now see that I was not special. I now see all of your lies...” Olive picked up a twiggy forelimb to wipe at one her eyes. “…but I can never love another man, even if I do carry someone else's litter. I doubt will ever find another love as great as ours, but I do not grieve for it, unless the gods deign to test my devotion again...” Olive turned to look at the gamine curvature of her low belly — if it were anyone other than Dakarai, who knew her so intimately, they likely would not have realized her delicate state. Oh, how happy her pregnancy had once made them! How close they had once been! “These babies, though… They are not a test. They are a true blessing. This, she was more certain of than anything.

Now that was out of the way, there was a part of Dakarai’s story that deserved her attention. “But, oh, my love!” she exclaimed, letting the man’s words finally seep into her cognition. “You intentionally hurt our daughter!” Almost immediately, her infuriation rushed back to fill her. The woman puffed out her chest, breath coming in short, anxious puffs at the top of her ribcage. "She is but a child; your child, for god’s sake, let her attack you! What harm could she do to you — a larger, older man with years of experience? How could you do this?”

“You deserved it.”

Something had changed in Olive since she met the quiet man by the river and struck out at him with frustration and anger. She remembered how it felt to have his pelt in her mouth, and to bite down and feel the skin give way to her fangs — she felt this desire now, felt it in her wired jaws and toes as well as her belly and the wolfess gripped the ground with her toes in order to abate such bestial desires. “It is what children do when they meet their absentee father for the… third time, is it? Fourth time? After how many times you've had to make a reappearance, a reintroduction into this family, does it surprise you to not be greeted with love and kisses?” Olive stalked closer, looking very much like a dappled feline as she slunk towards the man; feral. “Had I told Cassiopeia of your sainthood and perfect-ness, she would still hate you — and you would have done the job yourself. Even if your absence, you infect us with your poison.”

The mother drew her maw closer to Dakarai’s, menacingly close, and flashed the tips of her fangs in what she hoped was an intimidating display. “…if you touch her again, Dakarai, know this: I will kill you. Believe me, I will.” her tone bespoke the gravity of her meaning. “I can do things that you would not believe." Perhaps they were empty threats, or perhaps they were not. Nowadays, Olive was always surprising herself.      

She did respond into a tirade just as long as his and just as angry. He stood there swallowing down his rage,swallowing down his tears until he managed to stand tall. It was defiance really that allowed him to do so, to lift his chin and lift his tail and stiffen his legs as she spoke nasty things. When she was finished and a pause hit he rolled his eyes "Aye Olive. I am such a damned good liar that I faked the spasms and faked the coughs and oh, I even faked the vomiting and dry heaving. If I was faking the poison why then did you heal me when I didn't ask you to?" his anger was gone replaced by simple bitter sarcasm even in the face of her growls. Then he smiled brightly at her question of the gods, oh what a response he had for her there. "Perhaps the gods favor me now because they approve of all I did for you. Have you not thought about that? Of course not. You're selfish love. You believe your gods love what you did for them. No. I survive and I get to move through life with another and you get to walk alone, because you also brought down hell upon us. When I lost my memories did you not choose to drag me back to Blackfeather instead of finding a better way? Was that not why they followed us to teaghlaigh? Because we fought back against their assault at first and I bit Nemesis's son?" He took a step forward calmly and peered at her, once again studying her beauty. A madwoman cloaked in innocence, a snake hidden beneath the most beautiful scales. It was such a shame.


It moved to Onyx and even though his temper flared again he listened. At the end of that tirade he nodded slowly "We have not been through as much as You and I had. Yet we've bonded. It wasn't love at first, it was friendship and a quick conversation over a meal taken down together. Then the stars lead me back to her by chance and we've stuck together since. She was injured and I brought a healer for her. We are in a pack together. It is gentle love, sweet love, protective love. Not the fire raging and the electric bursts we shared. It is slow building, I will not touch her, I will not push her. This is being done on her terms you see, I nothing but an able guard by her side and controlled by her needs." he spoke slowly, eyes softening in pity. He pitied her, such a foolish,stubborn, woman now burdened with children she bore to a man who seemed to not be around. He only hoped she had the sense to join a pack for the sake of those babies.


He'd fallen silent again before she came forward and held still as she touched him. His eyes closed as she spoke softly with words that made him ache so badly. Even through the rage and the disbelief he loved her. They really were soulmates in his mind, but soulmates destines to remain apart. As she licked behind his ear a shiver ran through his body that betrayed him so much. He leaned forward as she stepped away and met her gaze eyes betraying everything. Love, longing,Anger,sorrow,regret,yearning it was all there easy to read as a book. He remained like that as she began to speak again, beautiful eyes dropping to the ground calling the children a blessing. Surprise flashed through his gaze and he almost protested but denied himself the release. If this is what brought her the ability to continue on every day and move through life, then so be it. He wouldn't ruin whatever happiness she felt about those unborn children. 


Suddenly she was angry again and he stood up at the words she spat at him. He shook his head and sighed. She really knew nothing of this world. If he had let Cassiopeia attack him she would have killed him and he knew it. The threat was answered with flick of his ears as he stared off into space. He suddenly gave her a sad look, finality written on his face. "You wouldn't attack me. Even if you did you wouldn't kill me. She came at me intending to kill. If I wanted to hurt her surely I would have, but instead I simply laid her out. I don't intend to ever hurt any of my children ever unless I feared my own life." he spoke calmly before dipping his head to her and then lifting it again. That wasn't a total truth and he knew it, the bite had been enough to bleed into his mouth. For all he knew Cassiopeia could have gotten away only to collapse in a bloody heap, dead.


He turned then to leave walking away a few feet before pausing and looking over his shoulder. "I haven't moved on. I've simply chosen another worthy of the love I have. I dream of you sometimes, I ache for you. Whether you are Empousa or Anthousai matters not to me, I'll always love you deep down. I even admitted my faults to Onyx. Said I regretted running from Moonspear to begin with." he spoke in a gentle voice, the pain inside dying down as he spoke what was his farewell to this woman. "Yet what's done has been done and can't be changed. Aye....we are both better off without one another. For perhaps the fire that burns between us was too big and so the gods had to put it out. You'll have those babies to give you the love i cannot and I...I have Onyx to look after. I do not intend to mess up as I did with you and if it is written in the stars then yes, I will die for her. Not before ridding her of whatever beast of a man hunts her though, I will fight on for her. You...please if you hold any ounce of care left for me do me one favor. Leave this area, get as far away as possible. There is a dangerous man around here who has already hurt many. If not for me then for those unborn children." he spoke desperately now,pleading with her to get away before she was hurt.


Then he gave her one more once over, eyes pausing on the pregnant stomach. She was so beautiful...she was always a sight to behold. He swallowed thickly and attempted to smile at her, the gesture coming out watery and sorrowful.Even so he attempted to say something charming "You...you look beautiful when you're angry and threatening Olive.Take care of yourself please. I...I am sorry for ruining your life. Just know that I haven't moved on, I will always love you" he sucked in a breath at how pathetic that had come out then began to walk away, ears flicking in case she called out to him.

Olive listened, though she was quickly become done with this whole situation and wished to remove herself from the toxicity of this place. It had been told to her that this was the most delicate of times for new mothers, the first several weeks, and she did not need the fluctuating energies to cause any sort of… internal imbalance. The fae took in a breath and held it inside her, but ultimately she was unable to bite back her defense. In a rush, her words came out in quick succession. “I don’t know what kind of trick you were trying to play on me —”

Oh, then how he gloated! He boasted of his sacrifices, and though they numbered many, the man’s gravitas was off-putting.  “Are things really going that well for you, my dear?” the pale wolf quipped, beginning to stalk around him in a slinking mass of raised hackles and exposed canines. “Your whore is on the run. You brutalized your own kin. Here, you treat me with such disdain!” She halted her advances. “Such baseless fury! Is this the man you are now?”

“I do not know what you want me to say to make you feel better.”

However, it was interesting to hear Dakarai’s perspective on his new relationship, having met the gilded woman so recently. Olive couldn’t say that she disliked the girl — more like, she disliked the circumstances. Onyx herself had seemed pretty sweet, albeit browbeat and spooked, but the fact that Dakarai had loved another incensed the shedevil to no end. Until this moment, Olive had been confident in the fact that she would have Dakarai’s soul, forever; no matter how many times she would push him away, nor how long they were parted, he would always be there to catch her when she falls. Now, she was not so certain of this.

But, as always, the dark knight understood how best to make her feel better: flattery. Oh, he ached for her? She ached for him too, wanted him every day as much as she had wanted to nameless man during her heat; wanted him here and now — and she knew she could have him, too, if she truly wanted. The sylph narrowed her gaze, debating whether or not she should truly make her carnal advances, or if she was just doing it again. After several moments, Olive swallowed her desires and found, quite suddenly, that she had nothing left to say to him. Her mouth held open, agape, rosebud tongue sitting virile, yet useless, in her mouth. Before her lay the destruction of her marriage, and though she knew this were her divine justice, it was truly a sad sight to see. Dakarai turned to leave and for a moment, Olive allowed him that freedom. Then, remembering something, she stepped forward and called out to him. “Wait —” She asked sincerely, mother beseeching father. “Where is she? I cannot leave her here, not with a devil on the loose…” Oh, wait. Perhaps Dakarai needed some clarification.

“Cass, I mean.”       

Dakarai's ears pinned back and he snarled, lips curling up though she wouldn't see it due to his turned form. Taking a deep breathe he slowly turned to face her and narrowed his eyes. "Don't ever call her a whore. She isn't running around getting impregnated by strange men. We haven't even become intimate because I'd never dare to do so until she is safe and ready for it. The only whore I see is you." he spoke slowly his voice returning once more to it's icy coldness. He lashed his tail a single time and shook his head to her question.

"Once she was done attacking me I left her. I didn't stay around lest she tear my throat out. You have no idea how truly messed up our family truly is do you? And not by my fault, they make their own decisions now. Cassiopeia had intent to kill me and I still couldnt bring myself to actually fight back, I simply pinned her. Aries has admitted that he has done terrible things, not surprising since he's a blackfeather wolf. But what would I know yeah? I'm just a coward who did nothing for this family"his gaze didn't go back to anger and his voice was nothing but calm as he spoke these words. He shook his head again and flicked his ears, eyes sweeping around the Glade again. This place would forever hold bad memories for him.

"Goodbye Olive. I don't regret meeting you. I regret what happened from that meeting onward. I regret you bearing children into this mess of a world, I regret allowing myself to hurt so deeply when you forsook me that I abandoned our daughter...but I don't regret meeting you. If Cassiopeia is around I'm sure you'll find her with ease, if not get somewhere safe. You have babies to think of now. Enjoy your freedom, stay safe.... I-" he froze and snapped his jaws shut before releasing a breath. He'd almost said he'll always love her but really was that true? Perhaps in a way it was, but he was now loyal to Onyx and he loved her most of all. Onyx would always come first. "I wish you the best of things." he said and this time he did leave, he didn't walk away he ran. This time by choice and this time with a silent prayer that he'd never ever happen upon her or cassiopeia or Aries ever again. He didn't want this anymore, he didn't want to keep crawling back. 

Dakarai out! This was beautiful and amazing and just AAAH. thank you so much Rachel!

She would never get used to that word, whore, especially when it was directed towards herself. Olive had never thought of herself as a particularly loose woman, having only ever dedicated herself one man — but, as she mused back upon those days in the wood with the pale lothario [as anonymous on the day they parted as they were on the day they met] and the sometimes shameless flirting that she subjected random roadsmen to, Olive realized that perhaps she loved the tangible sensuality of physical creation far too much to ever be considered not a whore. Perhaps that was not a bad thing!

Dakarai turned back to face her and the sylph faced him bravely, tipping up her chin and looking down her finespun muzzle at the man. Of course she knew how fucked up her family was — it was a thought that plagued her almost daily. It was what she prayed for when she prostrated herself and prayed to the gods, cried for their mercy and laughed at their folly; that Aries might find peace, and Cassiopeia might find safety, and Sirius might retain a semblance of who he really was, before the world decided to smudge him out of the picture. This statement of his might have annoyed Olive, but clearly Dakarai was not willing to see the gravity of her own sacrifice — he was too busy flaunting his own. 

It was not easy for Olive to hide how this entire interaction hit her, shocked her, and weighed down upon her. She wasn’t sure where to go from here; into a world where Dakarai wasn’t her fail safe. Then loneliness hit her like a wrenching in her heart, and she grimaced and tightened her jaw to bite back the words that wanted to come out. She wanted to call after him; to yell out his name and wax poetic, speaking of love and light and the future. He was such a sorrowful man, and Olive saw in him what Onyx surely did: someone to fix, and the desire was almost insatiable. Then, she would be in the power position once more.

In the end, the sylph never had a chance to say anything more, because the dark knight turned and darted in the opposite direction, leaving a cliff where had hoped to find a gentle slope. Alone with the weight of her thoughts, the weight of her guilt, the ashen fae laid down once more amongst the frozen grasses and cried herself to sleep.