Northstar Vale You Should be Standing Tall

he had been adjusting to the new smells that seemed to be overtaking the vale. there were new faces, there were new mothers, and with those mothers came the scent of birth and the odor of yet new additions. for the most part it seemed as though most had their children quite recently. even Reiko's that had been birthed within Kaistleoki a fair distance back still kept to the den. he wondered when they would emerge. he didn't remember much of his youth, let alone so early as just beginning to get out and about. 

 today the same familiar scent ensnared his nose as he passed the general area of a den. the scent was familiar--@Vespera. he hadn't yet met the woman in more than passing glances and gatherings held in the vale, but perhaps it was up to him to change that. the same general scent that he had familiarized with children plagued him. he didn't want to bother her, and he wasn't oblivious enough to think approaching a woman's den (one with newborns) was ever going to be a good idea. 

but...what if she needed something?

 he made the decision to sit a fair distance from her den and allow a chuff to rumble from his body. if she didn't come forward then he would simply leave, but he noted how often she was alone and wanted to extend a hand of friendship. perhaps she needed someone to count on.

With the help of Awenfen, her puppies were healthy and happily safe in the den that she had made for them and since she was one of the original founding members of the Empire, she was able to make a nice and large enough den for herself. But she wasn't expecting to have pups so it all worked out in the end anyway. The woman looked at her young, the two lives that she had birthed were sleeping on top of each other and with each moment that she laid her eyes on them, a new found love for them was starting to grow in her isolated heart. But she had to tell them about their father one day, or approach him about it, what would she say? The Duchess took full responsibility for what had happened that night so if he wanted nothing to do with them, she would understand, or she tried to convince herself that she would understand.

The dark woman had to put that aside for now and focus on what was going on now, she had beautiful pups with her that didn't even have names for she was pondering on what to call them. Vespera would also have to save those thoughts for later as a chuff rang through her ears, her ears were perked as she swiveled her head towards the den entrance. Maybe if I just ignore them... They will go away... she thought to herself but figured it was foolish since the stranger had a nose and could smell she was in there. Turning to her young she lowered her head to them, "you two stay right here, I will be back," she whispered as if her newborns could understand what she was saying with the two pups snoring away.

The Duchess got to her paws and slowly emerged from her den and was met with a somewhat familiar face since she has seen this male before so at least he was of Reneian kind, but she still only poked her head out. "Yes? Is there something you need?" She sounded a little tired but tried to sound polite enough so that her annoyance didn't slip through her tone of voice.

What exactly was wrong with him? He wasn't entirely sure. He was approaching a woman that likely viewed him as a stranger and she had just had children. Something that Collision knew was heavy, but also didn't quite understand the levity of. No one was going to hurt her babies. He had already pledged to protect all here, and he was without doubt that this woman would also lay her life before the children she had brought into this world. 

 Just as he felt his idea was bad enough her head emerged from den. Collision noticed the tiredness that encumbered her violet eyes. He noted the scar that interupted her features. She was a warrior looking woman and even in her tiresome nature he felt she looked quite powerful. Most of the women within the vale didn't get quite that same description. 

 She questioned him and he shook his head politely, "No ma'am. My name is Collision....I...well I wanted to see if you needed something. I've been trying to help where it's needed and," he realized he was babbling. Something he rarely did. But the there was an awkwardness about the situation that he hadn't entirely planned for. He also didn't want to offend her and imply that she might be incapable of taking care of herself. Though, it was noted that perhaps he could be of use...Her scent was the only here. Perhaps her husband didn't reside in the empire. 

 "I'm sorry I disturbed you. I just wanted to see if you needed food or someone to do anything for you," He had done the same for Reiko throughout her pregnancy. He had accompanied Hiromi home when she was going through labor and made sure her needs were met until Yuudai had taken over. Then he had fallen into a provider of the silent type kind of role. 

 Vespera was one that he hadn't reached out to even noting her pregnancy. His objective was to befriend and care for all. He wanted her to know that she was no different to him than any of the girls here.

The male introduced himself as Collision and explained that the reason for his presence was to ask if she was in any need of assistance. The Duchess felt a little more at ease since he was just trying to be helpful in any way that he could by the way he was babbling. The woman didn't say anything until he was completely finished with his statement for she really didn't have any energy to keep a conversation but the man really didn't do anything wrong other than disturb her. But Vespera was new to all of this, she had no idea what she was doing and was just winging it so a little extra help was okay.

Besides, she was alone in all this.

Just like she had always been.

The cloaked woman was used to it, used to having to do things on her own but raising pups was a completely different beast that she had no knowledge of other than that these little suckers eat a lot and demand much of her attention. How should she raise them? But one thing was for sure was she didn't want them to end up having an unfortunate of a life that she had to bare through. The tired Duchess tried not to look defeated and accept the help of another, she had to be strong for her whelp, but the girl felt like she was in a room of blind corners. "Thank you Collision..." she breathed at last with her face morphing into one of relief like she had been fighting a war and was in dire need of a rest. 

She hated having others tend for her needs, she felt guilty and undeserving.

The scarred woman tried to bare a small smile but she was too exhausted, "help would be nice... I don't know what I am doing since this is my first time ever doing this," she chuckled a bit to try and bring light to the situation and distract him from the obvious predicament that she was lost and helpless. Vespera wanted to chew her own tail for being so vulnerable right now but what choice did she have? She didn't specifically know what kind of help that she needed other than she really couldn't leave the pup's side, but she didn't want to straight-up demand things from him, "oh, I'm Vespera by the way," she stated with a bit more energy but that was all that she could give at the moment.

His original intention had not been to cause any discord or disturb her in any sense of the word. How taxing could being a new mother truly be? How hard was it to idly lay beside babes that didn't really do much? They ate...perhaps it was a simple fact of the matter that mother's milk really was life-giving. because they were giving his own. Now he was diving so far off into uncharted territory and he silenced the voices that created these thoughts. it was too far for him to continue to wonder. And he would never ask. 

 She spoke a quick thanks and Collision nodded his head. He wasn't sure what the thankfulness was for because he hadn't done anything for her yet. He remained where he was and dared not impress further on her personal space or that of her babes.

 She admitted that she didn't quite know what to do. She also seemed easy to give him more information. These were her first children. So, her life truly had changed in a way she was still figuring out. He didn't really know what to do about any of that for her. He didn't want to pave her way for her or try and tell her false lies about how 'it would get better'. It would, but no one needed to hear that. He just wanted to offer support for the decisions she made and take weight off of her shoulders. Off of anyone's shoulders. 

 "It's a pleasure to formally meet you. I'm sorry I haven't made a better effort before," There was always so much going on. Everyone wanted to help the Empress, but who helped the Duchess? Granted, Reiko admitted when she needed help. Collision did not yet know that Vespera kept so much to herself, and it was likely that never he would know, "I can hunt for you. Or fish. I'd be more than happy to bring food by for you in the morning?" He didn't know what else he should truly offer. He had slept outside of Reiko's den early in her pregnancy, but it wasn't something he thought was a normal thing to offer and so he refrained.

The male said something about how he should have made an effort to introduce himself earlier but Vespera was being elusive or mostly staying around Yuudai or Reiko when she had the chance since she trusted them both. After the announcement of Takeshi being the Emporer, there was an aura of uncertainty and while she was the type to stand against unworthy authority, this just wasn't the time to do so for she was afraid that her young would be targeted. Even so, she would stand up for what she believed in and if someone told her that the leader of a pack was undeserving of the spot, then she would believe them thanks to her experiences.

But perhaps that was an issue.

Either way, she hummed in response since she was too exhausted to give a proper reply, Collision had offered her a hunt which her stomach twisted for she so badly wanted to say no I can do it myself, or at least go with him. But she couldn't leave her young, oh what can she do? She felt trapped! The pups were not to blame, it was her own fault and she had no one to blame but herself. Vespera gave a nod, "That would be nice..." she sighed with a small smile with her tail slightly wagging even though Collision probably could see it.

The man wanted to make sure she was taken care of without making her feel incapable. That seemed to be a hard task when you were willing to do something as basic as feed someone when their task at hand had just changed. That was what being part of a pack was supposed to be. It was meant to be set up so that they all cared for one another. No one was supposed to feel alone, and he wasn't going to start with letting Vespera feel that way. 

 She seemed withdrawn. Like there was inner turmoil. That was not his business. 

 "I'll be quiet. I'll leave it for you every morning until you ask me to stop," And then he would halt. Without further insistance and without making her feel like a task. He would do it for anyone. 

 "Has Awenfen been to see you?" She was the pack's medic and it seemed as though she specialized in things of this nature. A true caregiver with a heart of gold. Collision held a lot of respect for the girl. His question, not intended to prolong their meeting, was only meant as a cause for concern. Wasn't giving birth dangerous? Wasn't there some kind of health risk? He wanted to make sure she was her previous self--whatever they may have been. Honestly, he wasn't certain.

The male stated that he would leave food out for her every morning and wouldn't make a peep which made Vespera smile even more though she was exhausted. Her mind was screaming at her to tell him that she didn't need his help and that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but she was so exhausted, so confused, she just couldn't say no. Perhaps she was growing soft, perhaps these pups had made her have a change of heart, but she wasn't fond of letting others do work for her so she would make up for her laziness by owing Collision.

"Thanks...I owe you big time," she breathed with her head hanging low a bit as a sign of gratitude but mostly she was just tired of forcing herself to keep her head up. But the male wasn't done, he spoke of Awenfen, the little medic that she had met during her birth, "yes, she was there while I was giving birth and helped me through the process," she stated simply. The Duchess was in debt to the little medic, her kindness and willingness to help her through such a painful process wouldn't be forgotten anytime soon.

There were so many kind wolves here, so many that were willing to reach out to here, but she was so isolated.

Perhaps it was time to start letting others in.

He wouldn't deny her words when she said that she owed him. No, she didn't. But--some felt as though a debt had to be repaid. Hopefully, in time he would make her realize it was him she was already doing the favor for. Keeping him busy and keeping him feeling fulfilled. There was too much to talk about now and he saw the doting exhaustion that pressed at her every feature. Today wasn't the time and he would respect that. 

 The boy rose to his feet and offered her a nod, "Please call upon either of us if you should need to. I know Awenfen would be swift to answer your call and I'll be nonetheless," He offered her a reassuring smile and his tail moved happily behind him. He'd go off to find her something now and leave it while she tried to, hopefully, get some sleep alongside her babes. "I won't keep you any longer. I'm sure you'd like some peace. I'm sorry to disturb, but happy to be of any assistance," He already let her to know to call on him if ever she found herself in need of anything. Hopefully, she would take it to heart. If not...he had made a chivalrous attempt.