Northstar Vale Please Please me

@Collision ?

So many things were happening to her, her pups, the Empire, all that. But the woman couldn't help but feel that the time was drawing closer and something needed to happen soon. Joheras and Isadora have become more independent but there were many lessons that the mother still needed to teach. The dark woman was sitting outside of the den, her head craned up to keep a lookout for her wondering pups but the thought was coming to her, was she being overbearing? Vespera was fretting over her pups a lot mostly because she didn't know what to do and the fact that Takeshi was in power. The most important thing to her was that her whelp grew strong, strong enough to handle themselves, and be able to stand up against evil and do the right thing.

Something she herself failed to do.

Perhaps her young could do what she couldn't, maybe that was the point of being a parent, passing on the knowledge to your youth so that they wouldn't turn out as horrible as you. To her, this was the salvation of her soul, if she could mold her pups to be better, then she can fulfill the hole that was her purpose. She wasn't suited for anything else except taking in pain and teaching others how to handle or avoid that pain. Her body was a boxer's sandbag, ready for the beating and abuse of others and carrying that pain so that others can look and pity her. She hated pity, it made her feel sorry for herself. One day that sandbag would crack and leak, but for now, she would have to endure every swing that came barreling to her.

Were these scars upon the empire going to fade? He remained gone at times (barely present enough for the scent of the vale to cling to him) and it seemed as though every time he  returned he seemed displaced. The good didn't outweigh the bad here. 

 He had these moments where happiness came through the cracks, and he tried to focus on those endearing times. He had been told to find the brightness and shine with it. Still it was far easier said than done. He would cling to good company. Today would be no different as the silhouette of Vespera became obvious to him. He had entertained Joheras for a moment and he supposed he had been distant from her for too long now. 

 
"Vespera," He greeted her as an old friend would and he dipped his head to her in regard. The sun broke through the dark clouds overhead only occasionally and rays of light danced in the distance. Here it seemed dark. Untouched. 

 "How are you?" It was a stupid question: She was like him...uncertain. 

Why did seeing her suddenly cause pain? Why was he associating her with the trauma of this place?

The Duchess sat in the field of tall grass that surrounded her dark figure, she looked insignificant compared to the woods that were around her. She began to shut everything else out from her mind as her thoughts consumed her. Why am I still here? This pack was just filled with empty promises... Reiko is gone.. Takeshi is just a smaller Greyback but less... sexually driven... Where in the hell is Yuudai? Am I just here for my pups?

The sound of Collision broke her out of her trance.

She turned her head to the approaching male as he greeted her with such a casual voice like they were old friends. "Collision," she returned with a smile, he was the only good thing that she saw today. The warrior asked how she felt, she figured he should have known the answer but he couldn't read minds, if only he could just read her like a book so that she wouldn't have to say anything. A sigh parted from her lips, "I don't know Collision," her smile became a small frown with her eyes drawing to the mountains before her. 

"Everything has gone to hell... I don't know where Reiko is, Takeshi is just Takeshi... and I'm trying to raise Isadora and Joheras to the best of my ability..." she started to list all the things that were on her mind as if it was a casual rant. "I just don't know why I am here anymore..." she drew her head up, "It's just empty promises again," the Duchess mumbled.

"How about you?" she glanced back at Collision and gave him a casual but tired smile. She ranted enough, what about him?

He was trying to climb out of the repititious darkness that cradled him. He had taken the advice from many (though it had not been sought after) and come to the conclusion there was nothing he could do except that which he knew was right and move on. 

 He listened to her dark words cut through. The vocalization of everything that was happening in this place. He had been away so long (in addition to his clear place as commoner) that he felt he no longer had a reason to speak. Polaris had said otherwise...perhaps (as true as it were) he didn't care to speak anymore. He didn't want to rattle the cage any longer. 

 "I don't think they were empty to begin with," He shook his head and looked into the distance, "Reiko took on more than she could handle. Running an empire, trying to be a diplomat, trying to be a mother, and trying to hide the evil she had allowed in," No one sane could handle such a role and come out on top. It was a combination meant to subdue any who attempted the endeavor. 

 "I'm fine. I like my time away. I like coming in to see the children and get a moment to visit with old friends. I don't know...I guess I'm just feeling stagnant right now. It'll circle back around some day," Either the Empire would change or he'd move on to bigger things. Whichever happened first...that seemed to be the lifestyle he was choosing now.

The girl listened to the man make his statement, he had a point, they weren't empty promises. When she met Reiko, she was bubbly, she had a goal, a dream, she tried to pick Vespera up in her lowest point, how could she be mad? Collision was right when he said that Reiko bit off a bit more than she could chew and thus she and the rest of the empire had to suffer, how could Vespera have such selfish thinking? Perhaps if she focused less on herself and her insecurities, maybe things would be better for she had a purpose now, to raise Isadora and Joheras to be the best that they possibly can.

"Yeah, I think you're right," she sighed as the smile she had faded from her lips. The man then started to talk about how he was and what he had been doing, and how he spoke of the children. He was so good with them. Joheras and Isadora have taken somewhat of a liking to him that perhaps introducing them to Rosencrantz wouldn't be necessary. No... He deserves to know... In fact, she needs to get in touch with him soon, or else he will never know that he had children, and thus the children will never know of their real father.

"So... What do we do now?" She lifted her head to the heavens as her mind started to whirl with thoughts, should she really be staying in a place that has looming darkness? Or should there be another option? She just didn't know.

For now it is the two of them. He supposes Jo and Isi are off exploring or sleeping. He had grown fond of the children. Of course--it seemed all the children of the empire were lacking in either good parental guidance or missing a key player altogether. Vespera's didn't have a father and, naturally, Reiko's children had an absolute shit father. What a web that had been spun for the next generation. 

 He brought his eyes back to hers when she spoke and he offered a slight chuckle, "You'll find I usually am," He shrugged. He wasn't often in a joking mood. Rarer even of late. Still, it seemed to fit iand it felt nice to not let everything be so heavy. 

 "We push on the way we do. If it becomes too much we find a new place to live," He shrugged his shoulder. The thought had dawned on him time and time again that, perhaps, he would be better off elsewhere. Alas--that was not presently the possible outcome. He couldn't just walk away given the state of things. Soon...perhaps....At least a small hiatus. One where he knew things were okay here and he could leave to truly diffuse. Once Takeshi were no longer breathing he supposed.

sorry this is so damn late ;-;

The girl gave an amused chuff in response, "ha ha," she playfully said and rolled her eyes at him with a smile. At least he was still humorous, it was the light in a dark tunnel but even if that shine was there, it was faint. But the woman was the one who would try to find the humor in everything, even in times that it would be inappropriate, yet even though in a time like this, she was finding it hard to smile.

Collision then stated that they could find a new place if it was too much which got the girl's heart racing a bit with her ears perking up and her eyes widening in a bit with the thought of having a new home. "I've been running too much," a sigh parted from her lips to try and calm her nerves even though it came out shaky for even she couldn't hide the fact that she was unsettled by the thought.

"Now that I have pups... It seems like I can't move, I can't force my children to move, where would I go?" She looked at the male with an almost panicked look, the Duchess knew that he wouldn't have the answer, but what could she do?