Lost Creek Hollow capture the golden hind

003 of 012 — the twelve labors of hercules ingram edition.

he was circling back to riverclan a lot later than he'd anticipated: but that he was returning at all — fleeting as he intends it to be — was nothing short of a miracle.

too many times he'd thought about just ... keeping going, let ash paw draw her own conclusions.

but she deserved the truth ... even if she perhaps already knew it: that he could not settle into the box he'd tried to push himself into. that his inner chaos would always win that war.

that he was self-centered and would always choose his best interest.

being truthful about it absolved him a little of the sin of it all, or at least that was how ingram chose to see it.

he calls for @Ash Paw, readying himself for her wrath, for he does not doubt this his decision would incur it.

Days had passed and Ingram was no closer to arriving than he had been. Though it was with surprise she heard his call. She was pretty sure ahe already knew the outcome, but she deserved the truth and he needed to give it.

She arrived small body wound tight and blue eyes on him. She traced over him looking for any wounds and seeing none ahe dipped her head low.

Hello Ingram. Did you enjoy your trip?

she greets him formally, as if their last conversation with one another hadn't been a fight.

ingram does not expect her to fight for him, nor does he want her to.

coolness was easy and much more preferable.

it was not one made of pleasantness. he tells her without emotion, gaze cool. i am chaos. i always was and i always will be, before sithis, even.

for, had it not been chaos ( and hatred ) that had spurred the committing matricide? to this question, ingram already knows the answer.

i do not belong in the role of husband or father. i do not belong here.

They had fought surely, but she had made her peace. She wouldn't fight for someone who didn't want her. It was that simple and he didn't. She wouldn't be another notch in his pelt, and she definitely wouldn't let him consume her as her auntie had let her husband. She tilted her head, blue eyes looking into and at. Tearing at the soul that was there.

This is what he had asked for was it not? To be husband to be father? When she had asked him. She had wanted nothing from him, but someone her children could rely on. She hadn't asked him to leave Akashingo, she hadn't asked him to take her as well as the children. That was what he wanted.

She shook her head. Ingram, Dreadfather, Sithis. Please let me know when these titles get heavy, because good lord. You carry burdens bigger than yourself and you use poor excuses for bad choices

She drew herself up, the haughty mask upon her face as was always, showing him a glint of the fire he had seen so many times and she dipped her head a fraction of an inch downward.

I don't wish to fight with you. So I will tell you go with your gods and mine. But should you need a friend. You know where to find me.

i have made many excuses in the past, he allows. but i do not bring forth any now.

the implication that he was still using them and hiding behind them is an insult that stings like salt ground into invisible wounds.

i do not need gods. and yet, he yearned for nothing but proof that he was godtouched. a paradox, surely.

goodbye, ash paw.

the tether is severed and if not stopped, ingram would make his way onward, his destination somewhere in the wilds but known only when he reached it.

Part of her wanted to stop him, and yet she knew it would mean nothing to him if she did. It would be a cruel injustice to the man he was if she tried. Would she see him again, perhaps. Would they be on good terms, no one really knew.

She breathed a prayer to both her Atka and her Sos, more so to Sos, knowing that this was the one that Ingram would have liked the most.  That he'd stay alive, that he'd find whatever the hell he was looking for, because she sure didn't know what it was anymore.

A lift of haughty head and she watched, head held high until he was gone from her sight. Then she'd lift her nose to howl a goodbye. They had parted perhaps on bad terms, but they had always been something akin to friends.