The Sunspire for fine something all people need

there's an old saying-- i know it's in texas, probably in tennessee-- it goes:

fool me once, shame on you-- 

terance had not coped well with the news of seabreeze and their children's leaving. but he hadn't coped poorly. he returned to sleeping all over the territory again and continued his patrols as normal. though the news was shocking and heartbreaking-- terance had gone through something similar with lyra, and so at least now the pain was softer.  but still, it hurt to know that even though he told seabreeze about lyra and his reservations about falling in love... even after all they went through together... it hurt to know that seabreeze would still leave him. leave him and take his children. 

fool me twice, shame on you--

and even though she asked him to come with-- told him she loved him-- what good did she think it'd do? why would he leave his sisters? his best friends? his pack?? and why would she leave them all-- and force the children to come with... terance was broken, truly. but at least now he knew better. this was just what women did, terance decided-- they string you along and leave when it's convenient for them, or maybe they just enjoy playing games. he didn't know, and he didn't care. all he knew was that he was done falling in love-- done being hurt by those he thought cared about him. the only way to live without fear of being hurt again was to keep his feelings to himself-- that's what he'd do, too. 

fool me three times... i'm not as stupid as you think.

and so terance patrolled the territory, stoic and silent, content on living the bachelor life forever.

She was reasonably content from her most recent outing, but it seemed like it was getting close to when she'd have to disappear off again for a day or so if she was going to keep her strength up.  So far, it hadn't worn on her too much, but that was due to how greedy she was about it -- but keeping up her own health meant that she could protect the pack, wouldn't it?  So no big deal, right?  Certainly not in her eyes.

She wound her way down to the borders, planning on a patrol.  Treason did need to figure out what she was doing with her future.  Clocks would continue to tick and it made her uneasy.  Guessing at what would happen just made her uneasy, like her indecision was directly lying even though she knew it wasn't.  But what would be better?  Hm.  Something had to help her make a decision.  Something before something forced her.

Treason had paused at the base of a tree, head sweeping upwards along the trunk as her nostrils flared at the various scents.  Nothing new or strange.  Just routine.  She turned away from it and spotted Terance walking her way.  Her ears pointed forward, and she half-wagged her tail before waiting for him to approach.  Shall I join you?  She, like many, was curious how he was doing but she held more of a reason behind it.  Treason needed to finalize her plans, she needed to see if it had broken him, if some of her options were not worth reaching out to.  How many more doors did she have to check before she found the one that actually was the right choice?

today, not unlike many other days, he came across treason on the borders. both wolves were trained mercenaries so it only made send that their paths would cross often. terance viewed his friend and packmate curiously for a few moments as he approached before a gentle smile broke his solemn expression. he was broken, in ways, and the wounds were deep, but terance was determined-- this time-- to not let it affect him. perhaps it was just a coping mechanism. 

"you're always welcome," he told the blue-eyed female with a wave of his tail, his own green gaze resting on her as he paused before her. after this few moment break, he directed her the opposite direction-- continuing on his route-- motioning with his nose. "did you just come out to patrol?" he asked, starting some light conversation, "or have you been out all morning?"

 y

So if it had effected him a lot, he was putting on a brave face, strong enough to smile.  Previously when she'd crossed paths with Terance (and other males, packmates or not) she'd pretty much regarded them with little concern but after some of the things that had ran through her mind lately, she paid more attention.  After all, there were decisions to make.  At least with Terance there was no rush, she'd run into him again unless he ran off after the ones who abandoned him like a wounded child, and if he did that it wasn't an option anyway.

Treason was her normal, pretty unemotional and cool self, Yes, just started.  The one tree says nothing weird going on.  She shrugged a shoulder, then turned to walk alongside him.  She dipped her head as a slightly more formal greeting then.  So, how did she go about finding out what she wanted to know? Hm.  Treason wasn't the most socially-fluent wolf, so it'd take her a little bit longer than others to figure out the right words.  Patrols lasted a while, so there'd be time.  Probably will stay that way.  It's not like there's been much going on at the borders unless someone's hiding it all from me.  She gave him a faux-accusatory glance, to gauge his mood.  A smile could be faked easily enough, as she was well-aware, but responding to something closer to an actual joke was a bit more of an effort.

terance gave a snort and a genuine chuckle at her tree comment. "that ones got all the good gossip," he returned, a small smile still playing the edge of his lips. he eyed her next at her faux-accusation, wondering why treason-- who was funny and usually good conversation, sure, but not typically so jokingly playful-- was being so friendly. but, his smile broadened a bit-- she was probably just trying to put him in good spirits, and he didn't mind that. 

"i'd ask rannoch, i bet he's been hogging it all lately," terance said, his tail waving some behind him. a little more seriously, terance added, "i hope it stays that way, i don't need anymore fucked up shoulders."

He still seemed in a good enough mood and she wasn't quite sure what to think about it.  Treason would have thought that with as soft as some of the wolves on the mountain were, he'd be moping openly.  But then again, she mentally looped back to whether he was just good at acting.  It'd make her inquiries harder, and that meant things might get crunched for time.  Hm.  Someone ate everything, not as appetizing a spot to cause trouble, she suggested wryly.  Yeah, it was a problem.  But not one any wolf could solve easily.

She looked up along the path, they were taking for the patrol, then glanced back over to him again, You did miss out on the fools in the Vale, not that it was a big fight or anything.  They didn't seem like the smartest bunch, but since it seems like they settled a fair distance away, at least they won't be causing trouble.  Probably.  Okay, from that it didn't sound like she believed that would happen.  There were certain low levels of intelligence that were just prone to causing trouble in her eyes.  At least they weren't as close as some of the last packs/almost packs.  Did he regret missing that adventure? That was a good test, wasn't it?

terance was only ever openly mopey to rannoch. to others he always tried to be friendly and responsive. of course, this excluded wraen, who seemed to lie somewhere in the middle of no real emotions and too much sharing-- to the point where their interactions sometimes aired on the hostile side. but, not always. so for him to put on a civil, happy face for treason was hardly news.

any other time of day when alone, terance might've looked rather pitiful. but, again, he was trying this time around.

terance frowned, remembering his absence. he was with ibis and okeanos-- and looking back he did value the time spent with his children but, if it was all for naught he would've rather been at the vale. besides, he always loved a good confrontation-- it was a good time to be petty. but he shrugged, pushing down the inner turmoil. "someone had to watch the kids," he said, giving a gentle sniff, "i heard all about it-- it sounds like they'll be keeping to themselves." 

he paused. "they better, anyway."

Treason, too, frowned, opening her mouth to say something sharp but for once realizing what she was going to say would probably not get the reaction she wanted.  She rarely gave her words a second thought, Still, would have appreciated having you at there.  Like I don't think Nara or Wraen are really fighters, are they?  And I don't really know the new people that were there...  Shrug.   Maybe they could fight, or maybe they were just fluffy. If that sorry excuse for their leadership had taken a different path of stupid instead of the one they chose, I don't know how well we would have fared. Sure, you could throw bodies at it, but it'd be chancy.  

What she was initially going to say?  'There were three mothers in the pack that could easily do the job.'  Because she didn't want to put him on the defensive, she wanted to know where his priorities now lay.  Did he think his past choices were a mistake?  Was that little sniff a crack in the mask?  Did she want to break it if that's what it was?

Some of them seemed a little... Unstable.  The dumb woman with the mark on her eye, the brown guy who just seemed a few branches short of a tree.  I'm not planning on playing nice if they saunter on over to cause problems.  They weren't worth sympathy.

his expression soured at treason's comment. her comment was not at all accusatory-- at least not on a surface level-- but terance, as on edge as he was (despite his best masking techniques) was not so thrilled to hear anything that resembled disappointment. anything that hinted at the fact that he let someone down. obviously, he fucking let someone down. as if he didn't tell himself every day what a miserable failure of a wolf he was and how nothing he ever did was-- 

he stopped his thoughts from taking over, taking a sharp inhale and furrowing his brow. "well, i don't have that distraction anymore," he countered defensively, despite the heaps of other comments treason made that he could've responded to initially. but he continued, trying to save himself from falling into some bitchy little hole. "i can't remember who was there-- most of our ranks are mercenaries-- nara and hyacinth and wraen are the exceptions. maybe some newbies." terance only knew this because he was, after all, the head guardian. 

"unstable?" he questioned her, a brow quirking, his voice turned up at the end-- asking clarification. and to her next comment... "we don't want you to play nice," he said, and then he himself clarified, "i don't want you to play nice."

Ooh, yes, she'd touched a nerve even with the sterilized version.  Treason's first response was a rather noncommital, Mmm.  So maybe he did think that he chose wrongly.  She'd have to file that one away for later. Well, we'll see what they do with themselves as time goes on, then.  But then did Rannoch's idea for her to train people even matter?  Was she even needed?  Leadership that seemed full, too many women, attitudes too soft for her liking... Had it been a bad choice?  Had she been lied to?

It was easier to just complain, There was one of their group.. Dove forward all snarling, thought we were actually going to have a problem.  Then he seemed to snap out of it, go all loopy and said something like he was hearing voices?  How would she even explain it? It was just so beyond logic and reason and not something she'd really experienced.  And another started making sense, then didn't seem to understand that there weren't always bears in the Vale.   Hello, they can move territories just like a wolf?  At least they seemed to all deserve each other, as incredulous as Treason found the whole thing.  Then the fact that they told Rannoch and Wraen to look out for me when I was doing my job and they were the ones growling all over the place and unable to smell bears... Not an eye blinked at the crazy man.  It was laughable.  Pathetic fools following unworthy leaders.  May winter slaughter the ones dumb enough to remain with them.  Or at the very least pick off the alpha with the bad leg.

terance nodded to her comment, shoulders rolling as he walked, unruffling his feathers from the previous outburst. 

"zues and hades," terance muttered, ears cupped forwards, "what a fucking shitshow-- i'm glad they moved then, for more reasons than the obvious." 

"they'll be dead by winter," he concluded with a huff. then, trying to put himself in a little bit better spirit-- since he sort of put himself in a funk moments prior-- terance joked, "what are the odds another pack is gonna try to move in next month." the vale was, for some reason, prime real estate.

Okay, she was honestly not expecting him to express that opinion, and she uttered a loud bark of laughter because she honestly couldn't help herself.  I definitely agree.  If they weren't, the world was certainly not fair.  Maybe she'd be able to snag Corvus and bring him back to Sunspire -- he'd seemed like a reasonable sort, assuming the thread goes as it might. So one survivor that they could steal, thanks.  The rest could be birdfood.  Bearfood.  Coyotefood.  Some kind of food for some other creature as long as they were gone.

If someone tries, I think we should just see about training the bears to eat them.  That one bear had seemed reasonably agreeable.  If she ran into it again, maybe she could find out if they could tell the difference between packs.  Work out some kind of agreement.  You know, stuff like that which meant it was less effort for them.

terance gave her a sideways glance. "oh yeah? you wanna be in charge of that?" he asked, a small smirk on his face. admittedly, terance would rather be 80 miles away from any bears-- but how could you blame him after one nearly killed him?

also, admittedly, despite the obvious pain that lingered and occasional sting, terance found that being with friends did at least help. he wasn't... unhappy. just sad. which were entirely different things.

I ran into one in the Vale before the other wolves showed up.  Not the one with the cub.  It seemed... Reasonable.  Scarred up as all hell so maybe just didn't want to bother if she didn't have to.  If she's sticking around, I'm sure we could make an... arrangement.  Or could, if there was more food.  A bear probably ate a lot, but would a few small free meals be enough to bribe one?  Hell if she knew, not that it was probably a good idea to trust one in the first place.  Yeah, probably wasn't gonna happen.

She shook her head, It's nonsense.  Not like it'll matter in a few months anyway.  At least not if things went the way Rannoch was predicting.  They'd be somewhere else.  She didn't seem particularly certain about it.  There wasn't enough information at this point, and as it were, she didn't even know if she'd be around to see it.  More questions, more things without answers.  Decisions.  Hell.

terance was actually accidentally considering training a bear until treason said it was nonsense. oh yeah. it was nonsense. the osprey in him had accidentally gotten carried away-- wraen would've had a field day with the thought of training a bear. 

anyway, speaking of the meeting...

"how do you feel about the move?" he asked her, gaze narrowed on her as he studied her expression and response.

Again, her initial response was a noncommittal grunt -- it gave her a moment to put her jumble of thoughts together as they walked.  Treason was on the surface usually not a liar.  She would bend the truth as needed but her opinion usually rested around "it's too much effort to lie."  Her expression faded to something indistinct, Depends.  On what gets chosen.  When.  I don't know.

I have other things to figure out sooner than that, I think.  Haven't given it much more thought.  Vague enough to hide her thoughts but enough to maybe keep Terance from asking too many questions.  She wasn't sure if she wanted to let anyone in to her plans at this point unless they seemed to be on a similar mental track.  Given how things went, Treason assumed he'd probably take offense.

it was fitting of treason to answer so vaguely. terance realized, solely by this answer, that treason's alliance to sunspire would be purely circumstantial-- and so he fretted, caring deeply for his packmate and who he considered to be a friend. would she really leave if she did not like the location? terance hesitated to answer, briefly, before he continued.

"what things?" he asked her, green eyes daring to find hers, "you mean a lot to sunspire-- to me, we'd hate to see you go." he hoped she'd find that meaningful. but magdalyn is not as naive as terance, and she doubted that she would care.

She snorted.  Yeah.  Right.  A ton.  Simply "meaning a lot" meant nothing.  It was a wolf's value that was the important thing, and it seemed less needed as things went on.  Doesn't seem like it.  Get told that the wolves need training because there's a load of novices, and if what you say is right, then that isn't true at all.  Then what's the point of it?  There was more, but that was the tip of the iceberg, so to say, and she wasn't going to reveal all easily.  But basically, what I'm doing.  And if she wasn't wanted or needed here, and as they'd yet to actually prove otherwise...

oh. terance hesitated to come up with an answer that wouldn't seem stupid, but ultimately said something stupid anyway-- because who could stop him? "i'm optimistic," he responded as lightheartedly as he could, expression meek, "all of our mercenaries have a lot to learn-- but there are a lot of wolves who at least claim to be warriors and guardians." hopefully that would clarify. 

"is that all?" he asked, sort of pressingly, "surely that isn't the only reason you'd take off." because that alone is a dumbass reason, but terance held his tongue.

Fine.  Be that way.  If he wanted her to burn bridges, she always could.  Lying was too much effort... Too much to remember.  I'm not keen on staying a place where it doesn't seem I'm needed, where there's no room for actual advancement...  And if there's going to be all this clucking and fussing about pups months late, like I'd be able to convince your sister if I wanted to...  

Closed doors of leadership, of raising proper soldiers...  Then her offer to help had been forgotten entirely.  Really, what had they given her for her service?  Not much.  She had been willing to maim Redshank at their command, she had faced down an entire pack as part of her duties and they didn't even say a word in her favor there.  She questioned them and didn't seem like she got the right answers.

"you are needed in more ways then just training other wolves," he told her, gaze narrowing on sunspire's gamma, "you're one of our best fighters and guardians-- i don't trust anyone else to get a job done better than you would do it." of course, he didn't voice it, but terance too was referring to the redshank incident. even though liffey had let her go, terance had been on treason's side that day, veering on the side of 'fuck him up.'

and then, treason made a comment that terance hadn't expected. "would you want to?" he then asked, but then regretted it. cause... that wasn't supposed to be the point of this conversation. he wanted to help-- to keep treason in their borders. but, unfortunately, terance had always been bad at consoling-- and now wasn't any different.

"wraen isn't our sole leader anyway," he said, and either way terance liked to believe he had more power over her.

She didn't seem super impressed, And yet, I promised to do so.  I thought it had been important, and Rannoch forgot it entirely until reminded.  Plus the other things already mentioned.  Honestly, she was pretty dispassionate about the whole thing.

Treason's response didn't have fantasy or any sense of wonder.  She was all about business, I had considered it.  Because I would raise proper soldiers, and that would be good for the pack in turn, would it not?  She held off on saying 'unlike certain other ones' or something like that.  There was no point to it.  It wouldn't win her any points.  All things considered, Terance was the one she had the least issues with these days, despite his ill behavior during the spring.  It was a bad choice on his part, from her perspective.

And I wouldn't be surprised if Liffey disagreed as well, wasn't like she was too pleased at any of us.  She was referring to Redshank, obviously.  Even if I assumed two for, then two against still isn't a pass.  A "maybe" wasn't a yes.  Her future was not going to be built on "maybe."

terance listened carefully, his ears swiveled and flicked as he kept comments to himself and, completely oppositely, had no answers to give her. rannoch was scatterbrained these days, part of parenthood on top of leadership on top of... well, life. but he wouldn't make excuses for rannoch, he knew his friend wouldn't want him to. 

"liffey stepped down," terance reminded her shortly, not that that meant anything. rannoch did, though terance didn't like to phrase it this way, have his head up liffey's ass. 

instead of countering her arguments, thoughtfully, and fairly open endedly, terance offered-- "what if you didn't need permission?" and then, to clarify slightly, terance added, "more responsibility means a definite need for you, as well."

Yes, but when I asked Rannoch he didn't know at the time if she'd be returning to the rank.  Best to assume she will -- it'd be less disappointing.  Rather than putting in the extra effort, whatever required brown-nosing, only to find it was pointless and the bleeding-heart was given the rank back and such had been planned the whole time.  It was better to make other plans rather than trust Rannoch's memory.

It was probably a good thing he'd appended a clarification to it.  The question on its own could have been interpreted as him propositioning her, and though the meaning had crossed her mind, it didn't seem likely given who Terance was -- there was that whole damaged goods thing.  Then again, hell, Treason might have respected him more for it; it might mean that he'd realized his err and was moving on.  She searched his expression for a clue,  That's a different world than we currently live in, unless you know of something about to change.  Either way, shirking is counter to my nature.  Treason was fairly sure the world was happy to go right along not changing, and if she was the single one fighting that tide, she was best to go find a different river that flowed the way she wanted.  She wanted the recognition, the reward that came with her duties and as her second birthday drew nearer, what she'd received became less and less fulfilling.

"well," said terance, who gauged that she was either playing-dumb or his riddling skills had still not improved, "it is the leadership roles that get those rights." ah, fuck, he was being pretty vague again-- enough riddles. he cleared his throat again, head dipping to one side briefly before bouncing back up. "i'm offering you a position of power-- my right hand, if you will," he said, finally being straightforward as magdalyn tried really hard to refrain from saying the assistant to the assistant to the regional manager, which is a reference to the office. 

"i value you as a part of sunspire-- your opinions and thoughts matter to me. especially when it comes to military decisions, which would happen to be my job." and if him giving her a promotion didn't prove it, well, whatever. he was done trying. "what do you think?"