Blacktail Deer Plateau i could kill all my best friends

@Astraeus
bit of pp, lmk if you want me to edit. this can take place before this if that works for you!

Okie dokie, it’s about time to take their new puppy out for a spin. Yknow, see what he could do other than piss, shit, and whine. What did they want him to do exactly? Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck cares! They’ll figure it out as they go along.

Here, Sparky! Here boy! Buzzard whistled. They hadn’t been glancing back often on their way here. He could’ve easily ran off, but knowing him he probably didn’t. Kid’s pretty dumb.

“That isn't my name, my name is Astraeus, I told you already,”
he snaps as he gloomily sidles to Buzzard's side.“ For an adult, you're really dumb. My papa is way smarter than you." The back and forth between the the triplets drained his boyish tendencies these days, and now he's was at the lip of either nicking their tongues, or providing a slew of curses directed at their mismatched features (as he'd been taught).
ears press into the oil-ink that spilts and illustrates his spine along his back, half-afraid of what Buzzard had been plotting in that rancid mind of theirs. He would've ran far from their clutches and claws, only he'd been foolish to disregard the realm that enshrouds them, and so the cardinal direction of his home is lost on thought. 

And so he entertains the proposal just to be dog a little while longer, a little while longer, so he can chance upon seeing Mahler again. For now he halfheartedly waits for Buzzard to issue some half-wit direction.

Buzzard snorted. I beg to differ! Anyone who names their baby Astraeus definitely has some screws loose. Why not name your kid something simple like Twig or Rock? Or if you wanted to get really fancy with it name ‘em Beetle or Moose or something. Astraeus is a goddamn mouthful.

Buzzard twisted around to get face to face with the boy. A mischievous grin spread across their face. Y’know why I brought you here, Sparky?

astraeus @ buzzard they finna fight lmfao

There's a limit, that Astraeus had on his devil-given tantrums. 

Shrieking, kicking, spitting, sobbing, all one would imagine what serves as a gremlin. Buzzard has jumped, pisssed on, and insulted this fanciful veil, insulting the woman who bore him and his name. “You don't even know her! You stupid twit, ugly motherfucking dumbass! Buzzard, Condor and Vulture are stupid names! I bet your momma don't even love you! At least my momma gave me a real name, not taken one by an wrinkly, poor bird!”

cameo.

Vulture liked Sparky, he always made some quirky responses to Buzzard, to which she enjoyed so. Someone had to knock them down from the pedestial, as Condor and herself, were unable to do this task. Finally, a match made in heaven! A child, to a manchild!

Until included her name, "Don't include me! I'm too beautiful to be mixed with them." She humphed- changing her opinion immediately. Vulture walked off to bathe off this disgust she felt for Sparky!

Woah. Ok, they definitely struck a nerve there. Buzzard was kinda taken aback by his colorful language. They stepped back, eyes wide, and gasped dramatically. When he was finished with the tantrum, they bursted out laughing.

Oh man, you’re so funny when you’re mad. This kid nearly brought them to fucking tears! They had to pause to get their shit together.

She probably did hate us, I’ll give ya that one. They never really had the chance to get to know the lady. She gave ‘em up to good ol’ dad the day they stopped drinking milk.

As if this couldn’t get anymore hectic, Vulture had to shove her nose into the business. Do me a favor and shut the FUCK up! they called before turning back to Sparky.

So are you just gonna keep screaming at me or are we gonna do somethin’? Common kid, live a little!

since both are inactive imma slap on an ending!

A little flushed from his unprecedented outburst he silently huffs at Buzzard (and takes notes of his potty mouth words for future reference). He attempts to overpower them but is quickly shot down with more of his pointless blathering, and so he begrudingly sits and listens to his tall tales and total bullshit.