Stavanger Bay xxxvii. you've got a beautiful brain

AW, ecologist #10

It was some time before Lótë found the chance to go hunting after the sea once more, but when she did she skirted the Weald completely and bypassed the fire-blackened forest -- which had once been the great home of Teekon's druids, unbeknownst to her. She found it to the northwest of the ruined woods that smelt of brine and seawater, even so far inland. 

She had never seen the ocean, wandering out across the golden-white sands as her lips went slack with awe -- steps stumbling slightly as they hitched on tiny dunes. Lótë stopped at the water's edge to let the waves lap at her paws teasingly, pallid jade optics flickering up to watch the raucous gulls bicker over their catches as they flapped and dove in midair. 

Determined to seek some respite from the last few turns of the moon, and keep distance from the ruined Spear, Antares had remained in Stavanger. To relax, rest, unwind--and generally be absent from all things beyond himself. He prowled, hunted, and scouted the nearby--often circling back to the beach, though it had only been a short while since he had met it for the first time, the routine slipped into place as well as anything was going to.

The Ostrega came surfacing from scavenging the tide, dark furs still slaked with seawater, when he climbed the gentle hills. It brought him into sight of pale-furred company, prompting him to half-pause his walk across the sands, his toes adjusting--he wasn't quite used to their flow yet. But, he lifted his head and peered towards what proved to not be a complete stranger; he recognized Moonglow's herbalist vaguely enough.

Knowing he would have been well seen by now in this relative openness, he dipped his muzzle in way of a silent greeting over their distance while wondering what had brought her here.

A burst of laughter escaped her as she watched the energetic birds dive and fish, soaring up again to fight and bicker over their catches midair -- uninhibited as she seemed to be alone for the moment being, free to revel in the sight of the waves for the first time. She wasn't sure when she noticed the shadow lingering on the horizon, gaze of pale jade locking upon the dark figure and thoughts jumping to Kukutux's former lover.

He was not completely familiar to her but not a stranger either, the leader of the once-village Glen. Lótë dipped her head in return, ears rising curiously as a faint noise of greeting escaped her -- snatched away by the wind. She had stayed away from his people when they lingered on Moonglow's borders, out of respect for their loss, and could not be sure if he still desired to be left alone or not. If the onyx he-wolf wished to walk way, the dove wouldn't stop him. 

Supposing he had nothing to lose, and time aplenty to spare, he carried on closer on his soft steps. If she was a wolf of Kukutux's home, then he would bank on that decency (something he was no stranger to, at least). It was all meant to be easier here where he could be further away from whoever he was supposed to be, and just some wanderer without worry. Easier said than done sometimes, though. He was still learning how to set aside those attachments. Hello, he offered with a short nod, guessing he might be clear enough by now in his intentions to.. try to interact. He carried himself with no threat, and tried not to seem too terribly tense. Antares couldn't say if he succeeded any.

Looking for something? he asked vaguely enough, matching a curious look her way, then towards what had potentially drawn her sights before he had come meandering along. Still learning the sights and sounds of the shore himself, he knew it could offer plenty.

She wasn't sure if she was surprised or not when he drew closer -- caught in some limbo of not quite being acquainted enough to know his character and not yet a stranger either. She had glimpsed him before, of course, and knew he held some sort of relation to Kukutux though she had never learned the specifics of their relationship. He had seemed...lost. Solemn, in the few snippets she had seen of him in her comings and goings. His blood tie to the moonwife was enough for her to welcome his presence with a neutral stance and polite smile.

"Hello," she returned, wondering if perhaps she should ask him how he had been but deciding it was too familiar. "The ocean," she answered Antares' question instead, peridots returning to the waves for a moment before sliding back to the shadowed bulk of him. "I had never seen it before." 

"Do you enjoy it here?" That seemed safe enough. "It seems..peaceful."  

Fighting the urge to measure his every second, he opted to be grateful that she seemed open to the idea of company like this so far. Without knowing her well, he still banked on the pieces he did have, some of them distant and secondhand while he had been so withdrawn. Ah, he breathed to a response, glad to hear she had found what she came for, if anything. It was difficult to miss from here and that answered that plenty for him.

Yeah, it is peaceful.. he replied with a gaze trailing off briefly. Antares had needed the peace. Enjoying it.. felt almost like too much to say, but relative to where he had been, maybe he should consider it. His days here felt removed from everything. Good, in many regards, but not the entire answer. It's where I came to meet the sea up close, too. Antares imparted for his attempt to relate to her being here now. Not that long ago, it had been his first time getting this close as well. Now he wore the tides, and even liked to think he began to understand. The views are pretty impressive, so it seems a good place to start. Antares supposed, curiously glancing back to the herbalist.

He seemed almost surprised to come to the realization, as if he hadn’t considered it before her question. The deerskin agouti found her evergreen gaze lingering on the sharp, dark edges of his damp coat — wondering what the former leader had been through, as she had once wondered after his aunt. It was not her place to pry, however, knowing well she had her own secrets.

Rather than pester Antares with the discomfort of sympathy or provoke him with pity, she smiled easily at the way he described it. “‘Meet the sea.’ I like that.”

”Like what?” She asked curiously, uncertain if she would get a chance to explore the terrain thoroughly. It seemed rude to go traipsing about now that she knew it was Antares’ home. Hopefully, she could at least hear about it secondhand. 

Antares fanned his ears, sheepish for a beat at her reply on his choice of words before he could gather it back up. Honestly, it was only what had seemed proper to him.. when much of his prior roaming never came this close to the edge of the sea. Here was much different than as only a distant horizon and the dark Ostrega had needed to forge that bond properly now in these drifting times.

And, he suddenly didn't know where to begin either.. but an already impassive expression may have kept it less seen, more felt. The beach is an easy one, he answered with a gentle flick of his tail. And cliffs at the edge of them--especially the northern side, he jerked his muzzle vaguely in the way he intended, hoping his sense of direction was mostly intact still here learning the seaside. Good spot to see.. everything. Sunsets, sunrises.. he added, willingly sharing his observations, though he had used them as distractions. Don't let me keep you from seeing any of it. I needed a quiet place.. and here's happened to be it for now, Antares mentioned, assuming word of this carried back with her to Moonglow. To his aunt's ears, specifically. He didn't want to paint the wrong picture here; this was just him hiding somewhere halfway meaningful that had been decent to him.

The herd-stalker nodded, committing the suggestion to memory. Her ears pricked curiously at his choice of words, hesitating before she allowed herself to ask: "Where will you go from here, if you know?" Only to immediately attempt a withdrawal. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that. I'm just being nosy." There was a faint smile upon her lips but it was small and a bit awkward.

"I'm Lótë, by the way. Don't know if I ever mentioned that," she laughed lightly, the sound somewhat lost beneath the quiet rumble of the waves. "And you're...well, I know you're kin to Kukutux but that's all." The smile was a little more genuine now, an olive branch offering of tentative friendship.

Though she gave him an apology for the question and her related curiosity on the matter of him, he had been prepared to answer anyway--not that such a response had any earnest meat to it, so her nosiness didn't bother. In his time reflecting, and being selfish to his own whims most of all, he had not yet found the answer, though maybe time had made him less anxious about it. Perhaps more accepting of such unknown. I don't know yet, he said quietly, and wished he did know, short of how everything may fall into place. He sensed opportunity, vast and endless as any horizon, but there was a horrible gravity to him here still.

Listening on to her softened his mien a bit, able to look away from the depths for now. Ah. I was not in a very sociable sort of way last time I was with Moonglow's lot. I'm Antares Ostrega, he said back simply, surname and all, because likewise, it seemed as if she knew him better as a concept--and a straggler of the mountain's fall, though perhaps more tied to the Glen due to his lead there in the end. To him she was largely some type of herbalist, or something close, of Moonglow. Not that he had taken time to acquaint himself well with the wolves who followed Kukutux. Who, speaking of: She is my aunt, he provided for her sake, for although his uncle was gone, nothing was going to change this; Antares considered her the same as any other blood. The only one to make it off the mountain, seemed relevant to him, while Lótë couldn't know the full extent of what this was--just how deep the loss had been.

Lótë nodded occasionally as she listened, his words or maybe the look on his face when he spoke of not yet knowing inspiring her to divulge more to the Firefly wolf than she normally would -- more than she had any inhabitant of Teekon so far. "My name isn't really Lótë," she confessed softly, her tone hinting at an apology for possibly confusing him. It was her turn now to swivel her verdant gaze towards the break of the waves and the seemingly infinite stretch of blue. 

"It's Aiwëndil Iel-o-Elenwë," she told the Ostrega, feeling a rush of something like adrenaline or nausea roll through her with the words -- as if just saying them out loud felt like murmuring the name of some horrific monster, one that appeared when anyone was foolish enough to dare to utter its title aloud. "Most people called me Aiwë," she informed him with a tiny, lackluster grin -- taking mercy on Antares should he ever try to pronounce it. 

"I didn't know your people but I know what it feels like to lose everything, down to the very place you call home." She finally turned back to him, something earnest in her emeralds. "Kukutux honors them at Moonglow," she added, momentarily sidetracked -- wanting him to know this. "And I have promised to help her with this. With keeping her traditions alive and memorizing the lore she tells me; of her homeland, of Moonspear, of your kin."

"But what I wanted to tell you was that you can go anywhere. Be anyone. I have learned this," the two-year glanced away again, hoping she wasn't overstepping as she watched the gulls careen and twist around each other. "I have even found..fulfillment in this."

Her new admission turned his focus, surprisingly, but not in a bad way. He tilted his head, signalling his interest. Happy to digest even the information he may not understand fully, Antares tipped his ears--the tongue is strange, the title carrying an unfamiliar melody. He could not tell which way the weight of it fell, exactly. Silently, he thought to test it for himself. Aiwë, anyway, but in another blink, he was listening again.

She revealed deeper as to why she could relate, which kept him silent--hoping she might continue, and she did, towards Kukutux, and how they honored his family. It's.. more than I could ever hope for, from her, from good wolves. Even if he felt like he didn't deserve it sometimes, he knew he could have a place among them to honor them all too, help them keep the memories of his family's strength alive in full--especially to those like Aiwë who could not meet his parents, or their mighty guardians.

But at the same time, immersion now was a strange unease to think about and for what was not a first, she reminded him that he could go anywhere. When she glanced away, he stared quietly at the side of her face for a long moment. Be anyone Antares mulled, eventually dragging his own sights out to sea again too, eyes pinching into a squint. Where would he find his fulfillment? Who would he need to be? And, who would he become? Yeah. Helps to know it's out there, possibly. Probably. I've had a feeling... he murmured, more certain now that she knew plenty on the matter. How else would she have known to seek it once too. Although it's a lot less than it was before everything, I know I still have much here, too.. he sighed, knowing Moonspear would always loom, even while Kukutux welcomed him.

He had to trust that he would figure it out.

She was grateful that when the wind had snatched away the tail end of her words -- like a weary sigh from the sea -- that his anger did not ring out over the crash of the breaking waves that lapped inches from their paws. A slight rush of relief swept through her that he hadn't found what she said to be crossing some unspoken line, given that this was the first time they'd spoken at any length. A tiny smile curved over her lips and she felt the beginnings of a warm kinship to the dark he-wolf form. How strange that she had been born in another land but never felt at home until joining with the moonwolves. 

"It's hard, after losing so much. Sometimes...we just can't continue to be the people we used to be. Sometimes we don't feel like that person anymore. Everything has changed; it only makes sense that you would change with it," she attempted to reassure him, thinking that he seemed to be at war with himself. Or at least, with the halves of himself that wanted to stay and that wanted to go. 

"Whether you join our village or go somewhere else, if you change your name or not -- you will always be Antares Ostrega, son of Moonspear. The spirits will never forget your name," she shared with him the same words Kukutux had told her, offering him a gentle smile of encouragement and a slight swish of her fawn plume against the sands.

He took his time letting that set in, heavy as it was, but he needed to hear it from someone else too. In a voice that was not so familiar, though still with him at heart. Antares could not disagree, at any point. It had been hard. He had not been ready to face that, not now, one thing after the next.

But he survived, and that had to be worth something--or so he had long since reasoned. Now he just needed to decide what he wanted to make of it out here. He always would be, had been, and now would continue to be. It was feeling less like heavy shackles sometimes, and perhaps this was why. Yeah.. he agreed, albeit quietly, no less true. As she said, the spirits would never forget. He felt like he might not either, though this was a consideration for another day. He knew, and was happy that she could tell him as he peered easily back with just a hint of a nod through his silence.

Want to see more of the beach? he said eventually, ready to shake the itch in his limbs with motion--if she shared the thought, the invitation was there to move on with or without him

we can fade here or with your next post maybe? :)

The cloudberry allowed her gaze to return to the waves as they fell into silence again, though it was not a heavy or uncomfortable one. They just sat there, two strangers with much baggage on their shoulders, watching the water dance. On her part, there was some unrealized relief in having spoken of the past with somebody. Perhaps it was better that they were not well acquainted, there was no risk of judgement. 

"Sure," she answered easily, standing and shaking some of the sand from her pelt. It seemed an invitation. She paused to make sure he was accompanying her, asking with a small tilt of her head, "Will you show me the cliffs?"

Before uncertainty could well in the face of doubting whether or not she might catch the vague offer he passed, she agreed, and was up to momentum before he could even think to hesitate. His eagerness to change course to a new heading was immediately thankful. Antares dipped his head in a deep nod, and chuffed a low Of course, about the nearby cliffs. He did not think she would be disappointed in the choice.

Already, he had an inkling of a plan trying to come to mind--but they would need to get there first. Eventually he picked up his pace enough to take the lead, and carried their route on to elsewhere.