Moonspear Despite what you've been told, I once had a soul

He had many reasons for wanting to get out, but everything boiled down to a simple fact:
He could not be happy in a pack that fractured the way Moonspear had.
His whole life had been nothing but upheaval and discord. A few happy months spent in Diaspora before Vercingetorix abandoned them to go to the sea, not because it was truly best for his children, but because he wanted the life he had before. Before Dragomir's mother uprooted them to go looking for their father, not because it was truly best for her children, but because she was a selfish creature to her very core. Then the attack. Then a few unhappy months with Kaistleoki before the ultimate culmination of Aurëwen's selfishness: because the father of her children didn't love her, she left them all, with no intention of returning. Then Vercingetorix's death.
His months with Moonspear were the happiest he could remember, but he was still too fragile from past betrayals and hurts to weather such fissures among the wolves he cared for. He respected Hydra. He respected Arcturus. He could never choose between them, although ultimately his loyalty leaned a little more toward the Beta. He could never choose, and so he would make his own road. It was not the best decision for him—the world was dangerous and he would be without support at his back—but it was something he needed to do for himself.
Perhaps one day he would find the everlasting stability he needed in his life to chase the demons of his youth away for good.
I'll miss you too, Hydra, he said, and it was no word of a lie. His faith in her was shaken but his affection for her as a mentor was still intact. If she let him, he made an effort to reach out and bump his crown against her cheek, a final fond farewell before he left Moonspear behind and began the next chapter of his life.