Dragoncrest Cliffs I burned the path you walk on

In the weeks that followed Merlin's awkward tryst with Erzulie he felt drained and empty. Relief that everything was over and no one expected or needed anything from him had been short-lived. The toll of chronic stress and anxiety he had felt up to that point took full effect now. Not that he was physically tired - it was a different kind of exhaustion. A black-and-white soundless world, where he existed, perpetuated all the routine tasks and movements, but could not force himself to have a single emotion. Neither good, nor bad.

It took him a while to realize, what was going on, and, once he did, he accepted this new state without much fuss. What was normal for the majority was not "normal" for him. Erzulie had said that he had a right to live his life the way he wanted and the full force of that words dawned upon him slowly now. Rather than attempting and constantly failing to fit in, he simply needed to find a vertical, in which he felt safe and good about himself. Where he could calmly not give a damn about, what anyone else thought about him. And in this new emotionless state it had become easier than before. Not bothered by the directions of "where" and instructions on "how" anymore. 

He was comfortable to exist in the present moment. Not feeling anything had been odd in the beginning. Now he wondered, whether the temporary death of his hyper-sensitive heart was a blessing? Wouldn't it be better for it to never wake up again? 

Merlin was contemplating all this, looking over to the vast ocean before him, and because of the roaring waves he heard Rosalyn's approach only, when she had come very near. He turned to greet her with a small wag of his tail and a polite smile that did not reflect in his calm and distant gaze.