Neverwinter Forest Gucci Mane (‘06)

@Mal

nothing — none of this — made any sense. mathieu stomped back toward neverwinter forest, intense distress emanating from his worn frame. where was his brother? grandfather had mentioned yves's trip away from home, but still, it didn't make any sense; why would he leave without saying anything? did yves not trust him anymore? mathieu huffed and moved to cross, but hesitated. was he still welcome?

Mal had been out on a patrol -- exciting stuff there! But hey, everyday stuff right there. He hadn't been expecting much when he spotted a familiar but recently-scarce shadow along the borders. Huh. He sped up to intercept. Look, after everyone that had left, he was glad to see someone who came back. He grinned, Well, well. Look who wandered on back. Pause, curious tilt of his head. C'mon, there had to be a nice little story to go along with whatever glum expression he had.

mathieu breathed. i'm so sorry, he said, shaking his head, i-i went to look for someone, and they weren't even there, and— would he ever find his brother? it'd always been assumed that when yves left, they would meet up to regroup, but it had been weeks...

he opened his mouth to speak but found his voice absent. mal was here, and he was smiling, but why? mathieu didn't know much about being in a pack, but he knew that leaving without warning wasn't generally allowed. i suck, he whined, settling into a defeated seat.

The smile started to fade to be replaced with some mild confusion. He tilted his head the other way. Matty was distressed, that was obvious, but it was also kind of an issue in that Mal felt like it was only half the story. Okay you're gonna have to back up a little and start again -- you headed off, now you're back. I think? Unless he was just here to say he was gonna stay gone, So try again? Mal also took a seat, far more elegantly so, if that was a thing.

yeah. another heavy breath, and mathieu closed his eyes tight. he didn't want mal to think of him as weak — he's not weak, y'know? — but talking about this, having to explain his relatively small upset, it made hiding his emotions more difficult. being without yves wasn't difficult by itself; the trauma came from repeated absences, everyone who he'd ever cared about leaving one after the other.

mathieu looked at mal, explaining: this place is really cool, and i wanted my brother to see. he'd left in the night, hoping to be back before he was missed. my grandfather told me he'd left, that...it had been a while. but he didn't come to find me. was he okay? not knowing whether yves was healthy and alive, or, well, the opposite had been the main source of matty's anguish.

i don't get it. he shook his head and lifted a paw to wipe his eye, not prepared for mal to see him so upset.

Mal listened attentively. It was a familiar story, unfortunately. Well, some of it at least. He bowed his head. Yeah. I get it. Wish I didn't. And wish I could explain. But he couldn't. People were very good at leaving. It was the coming back part that was rare. But he didn't know what it was like for Matty -- maybe his life was different.

There was also the note that Mal was emotionally kind of a dunce. He didn't know how to comfort anyone to save his own life. Still, he should explain his comment, shouldn't he? Both my sisters are gone. Hell if I know where. Been gone like a year, more for one. He paused. Do you need to go look for him? Or..? Wait? Something?

surprised, wide-eyed mathieu looked up at the neverwinter alpha. he hadn't expected this experience to be shared, and would have never imagined sharing it with mal. he gulped and looked away, somewhat ashamed by the dramatic display.

mal's confession brought some comfort. matty couldn't be sure that mal wouldn't judge, but he thought that it was safe to share. my brother is the only friend i've ever really had, he sighed. 

he took a moment to think back on their childhood and smiled, remembering the good times. my parents left us when we were kids. never met either one. all that he had were stories. grandfather, my mom's dad, he didn't really want us around, but he hired someone to raise us so i guess that was kinda nice.

but mal probably didn't want to hear all of this. mathieu fixed his face into a tight smile and hesitantly stepped into the territory. i just thought...i thought he'd want to find me. i shouldn't have left him there.

It was frighteningly similar. But Mal was still of the opinion that he had it worse. Why wouldn't he thinks so? It was the only one he knew, and he knew that he would do better with his own kids. Well, my mom disappeared when I was little -- reappeared a couple times after, but never for more than a few hours. My dad basically started ignoring us when we were like, I dunno. Four months? Nobody stepped up for us. So in that aspect, you got it better than me. And no matter how much of a fuss he made, it didn't change anything. They'd been all let down.

I can't read your brother's mind, but if you think he might have gone out after you, and where you're from knows where you're at now, there's the chance he could show up here later? That was the best he could offer. But it did seem that Matty was back. When I left, I told my remaining sister I'd be back for her. She didn't wait for me. The pack was supposed to be for both of them, but... He got up, turning to follow.

maybe— but probably not.

listening to mal's story, mathieu couldn't help feeling angry. neither of them held more trauma than the other, because trauma is subjective and that whole thing. he didn't like hearing his experience compared to someone else's, but kept his mouth shut anyway.

did you look for your sisters? he asked, hoping to shift topics. mathieu wanted to think that looking for yves would be easy — they kinda stuck out — but knowing that he might find a dead brother rather than a live one was enough to scare away the thought.

One was gone before I was old enough to go look myself. Looked for Brillo myself, but by the time I found out, she had a big head start and wasn't where I said to meet me if stuff went wrong. In the end, nothing. And that had pretty much been the end of it. If they come back, there's a space for them here. He shrugged. What else could he do?

He sort of shifted topics, I think uh.. You missed some things, pretty sure, while you were gone. Need any updates or anything or just wanting to go rest or whatever? He could go for either way. Had Mattty left before or after Cupid and company showed up? Uhhh. Couldn't remember exactly. Did he have to explain that now too?

she's got a cool name, mathieu commented, what's the other one? he hoped that they were both happy and healthy, if only for his companion's sake. permanently and definitely losing a sibling was something that he couldn't (and didn't want) to imagine.

their conversation continued. probably missed a bunch, matty laughed, looking nervously up at mal. did the alpha know how long he'd been missing? probably no more than a week or two, but he hadn't really been counting. fill me in.

Solomon. What would either of them even look like now? What would they be like? He hoped they'd be familiar, but at this point he didn't know. Why couldn't they be here? Oh well.

Well, the main thing would be we got someone in from the coastal pack to come here and help train folks, make sure they all are good to go with self defense and all that. Got a couple new people too. He looked over, Was there anything you had questions about before you left? I mean, I can clear any of that up too. Did he know about Cupid? How did those events line up? Ugh, he really needed to figure out how to tell people. Just still seemed so weird still.

specific questions? mathieu felt informed enough. he shrugged and sighed, deciding that he didn't need to take up anymore of the alpha's time. i'm good, he replied.

assuming their conversation was over, mathieu turned in the direction of his den and prepared himself for a full day's sleep.

Mal nodded, Okay. You know where to find me if you need anything. He watched Matty head off. Okay, guess it was time to go back to what he was supposed to be doing too. Whatever that was. Uh. Yeah. He should figure that out probably. Back to the borders? Possibly.