Larksong Grotto Send in the Clowns

ancelin stared at them. his tail twitched. yes, he wanted to say. yes. i wanted to be gone before all this. 
but then he remembered how lilia had seemed that day, how the tension had eaten at them. how augur had seemed. how he had felt so disconnected from them all. 
he hadn't been there either. but she had, and he felt her emotions under his skin, buzzing.
for the best. him, leaving his home, for the best?
grandfather's bearish rebellion rose like boiling bile through his throat and spilled; "i did think that. but now it's too late to leave."
lilia wouldn't budge without a resolution. ancelin owed no one anything, not even augur. not new snow. not the kids, not his cousins, not his aunt.
he had cut his heartstrings here.
but she hadn't, and for that reason the rise remained under his paws.
through her, this was still home. ancelin, tethered by a single mooring.
"what happens if i don't?"